


When Worlds Collide

by Atlanta18



Series: The Girl Who Lived and the Winter Soldier [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Sam Wilson, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Harry Potter, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America Steve Rogers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Creepy Brock Rumlow, Eventual Happy Ending, Evil Alexander Pierce, Falling In Love Again, Female Harry Potter, Finding each other again, Fluff and Angst, Hermione Granger is a Good Friend, Kind Harry Potter, Modern Era, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, POV Alternating, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Harry Potter, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Red-Haired Harry Potter, Romantic Bucky Barnes, Romantic Soulmates, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, SHIELD Agent Harry Potter, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Sweet Bucky Barnes, Sweet Harry Potter, The Avengers Are Good Bros, True Love, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 110,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25580362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlanta18/pseuds/Atlanta18
Summary: After returning to the future and thinking she’s lost everything from her life in the past Helen Potter meets her old friend Steve Rogers by chance. Together they learn to live in a world without Bucky. But it seems that Bucky isn’t as gone as they think he is. After a shocking reveal Helen and Steve must fight to bring Bucky back to them. Will they succeed or will Bucky forever remain under HYDRA’s thumb?
Relationships: Harry Potter & Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Harry Potter & Other(s), Harry Potter & Sam Wilson, Harry Potter & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Harry Potter, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: The Girl Who Lived and the Winter Soldier [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692388
Comments: 142
Kudos: 401
Collections: Harry_PotterxMarvel_xSC





	1. Back to the Future

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the next instalment of the Girl Who Lived and the Winter Soldier. I’m very happy to be sharing it with all of you. This story is set shortly before the events of WS, then follows said events before exploring what happens post WS. And don’t worry there will be a happy ending.
> 
> Enjoy the story :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen wakes up in her own time and feels lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, to anyone who hasn’t read Finding Happiness then please go and read it before you start this story. A lot of stuff in this story won’t make sense if you haven’t read Finding Happiness.
> 
> To those who have read the previous story, carry on reading and enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

It was with a strange feeling that Helen Potter awoke again. Something just felt different and she knew it would be a few minutes before she figured out what it was. She was never able to function well as soon as she woke up and she knew it would take a little time before she was at her normal functioning capacity.

She yawned and rubbed her eyes, thinking how shocking it was that she was so tired. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this tired. It was almost as if she had just recovered from a life threatening illness.

And then all of a sudden it hit her. She had spent two and a half years in the 1940s with the love of her life, Bucky Barnes and his best friend, Steve Rogers. She had witnessed the beginning of WWII and had gotten engaged to Bucky. She had had a pretty wonderful life back in the past and it killed her, quite literally in fact, that she had to give it up so soon.

She had been under the impression that she would spend an entire lifetime with Bucky before being transported back into the future, being sixteen once again. She had never imagined that she would catch a bad case of pneumonia and die from it. That was not how she imagined her life in the 1940s ending. She at least thought that she’d be married to Bucky and they’d have a few kids together. Instead it seemed they only got half a life together and it just didn’t seem fair.

And then her thoughts landed on Bucky.

How was Bucky coping back in the 40s without her? She knew that he wasn’t able to make it back in time before she died and her heart broke at the thought of him coming back from his mission all excited to see her only to be told that she had died. She could just imagine the anguish and heartbreak he would be experiencing and it caused her to ache all over knowing that there was nothing she could do about it.

All she could do was hope that Steve was there giving Bucky the comfort and support he needed to be able to get through this difficult time. If ever did. Bucky had often said that he couldn’t live without her and she hoped that he hadn’t meant that too literally. She wanted him to see the end of the war, live out the rest of his life. She couldn’t bear it if he just gave up on living because of her.

She wondered what he was doing right now. If he was laughing or crying. If he was relaxing in his room or out on another mission. She would never get to find out. They would never see each other again and that thought hurt her more than anything in the world. It hurt more than Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore, Dobby and Fred’s deaths combined. It hurt more than the constant reminder of the loss of her parents. It hurt almost as much as the torture curse and that was saying something.

Why would they do this to her? Why would whoever sent her to the past just take her away like that? She had asked to find true love and happiness and she finally had that. Why couldn’t she have just had one lifetime of that? Was that too much to ask? Was being in the right time more important than her own happiness? She deserved to have a lifetime with Bucky and live in a world with all of the people she loved. Was it too much to ask to have both?

Apparently so. And wasn’t that just the story of her life? Getting only half of what she wanted. It seemed that everything she had ever truly wanted hadn’t been given to her. She was denied a life with her parents and then she wasn’t allowed to live with her godfather, who would have loved her and cared for her far better than the Dursleys ever could. Then she finally gets to go to a place where she actually belongs but the experience is marred by unwanted fame and tasks too hard for a teenage witch to ever take on. And when she does eventually fulfil the prophecy and defeat Voldemort she is plagued by nightmares almost every night. And then to top it all off she finally finds true love but that gets taken away from her too. She never got to marry Bucky or have children with him. Fate teased her by giving her half of the happily ever after and then cruelly withholding the other half. It just wasn’t fair. But then again when had anything in her life ever been fair?

The only thing that was getting her through the tough loss of Bucky was the knowledge that she would get to see Ron and Hermione again. Her two best friends were the one thing that was missing from her life in the past and she was extremely grateful to be able to see them again so soon. She just wished that she didn’t have to give up Bucky in order to be reunited with Ron and Hermione.

It was true that she had missed the two of them more than anything but seeing them again would be bittersweet knowing that she would never see Bucky or Steve again. She wished more than ever that she could have all four of them at the same time. Then her world would be complete. But she knew that was never going to happen, no matter how much she wanted it to.

A part of Helen knew or rather feared that this would happen but she was just too happy to pay it any attention. Now she wished she had. Maybe if she had given a little more thought to the thought of leaving Bucky before they had spent the rest of their lives together then maybe she would have been more prepared for this to happen. Maybe her heart wouldn’t be shattered into a million pieces if she knew that she wouldn’t get a forever with Bucky. Perhaps if she had known that then she would have never allowed herself to fall in love with Bucky.But at the same time she couldn’t bring herself to regret falling in love with Bucky. It was the happiest she had ever been and she would willingly go through it all again just to see Bucky one last time.

But then again she would have rather him be here with her now. A part of her wondered why Bucky wasn’t transported to the future with her but another part of her knew that it was likely that Bucky didn’t belong in her time. But she wished more than ever that he did and a selfish part of her wanted to wish upon a star again to bring Bucky here to her.

But that wasn’t right. Bucky belonged in the past. He was needed there. Without him they wouldn’t be unable to defeat HYDRA and win the war. It was selfish of her to take Bucky away from that, no matter how much he likely wished that he was with her too.

She knew that there was no point in wondering about it though. It would never happen. She would never see Bucky again and she would just have to learn to live with that. No matter how much it hurt.

Looking in the direction of her window she saw that the sunlight was poking through the curtains so she threw back the covers and got out of bed. She glanced down at herself and what she saw upset her greatly.

She wasn’t wearing the clothes that she had died in when she was in the past. No, she was wearing the pyjamas she had on when she made the wish. It was almost as if it didn’t happen. In fact the only evidence that she had in fact had a life in the past was the engagement ring on her finger, the bracelet on her wrist and Bucky’s dog tags around her neck. Other than that it was as if she had never left her bed the night she made that fateful wish.

But as she went to bed that night she couldn’t help but think that one day she’d see Bucky again. Where this thought came from, she had no idea but the thought of seeing Bucky again someday helped her sleep better than she had since she had returned to the future.


	2. Reunions and Reminiscing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen reunites with Ron and Hermione and tells them about her life in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear any doubts, the year is currently 2011 but of course that will change as we near the events of the WS.

* * *

Helen was startled out of her thoughts by the door to Sirius’s bedroom, the room that she was currently in, being forcefully opened. She looked in the direction of said door and let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it was only Ron. God, she had missed him so much. It had been so long since she had last seen him.

‘Ron!’

The redhead clearly hadn’t spotted her yet because he jumped a little when she called out his name. Eventually though his bright blue eyes landed on her and he smiled widely at her.

‘Helen! Thank Merlin that you’re here. Hermione and I have been looking all over for you. We nearly had a heart attack when we woke up and you weren’t in our room.’

‘Sorry, Ron. I just needed to be in a place that reminded me of Sirius.’

‘At least tell us where you’re going next time. We’ve been worried sick and Hermione’s been in tears all night.’

‘I’m so sorry, Ron. Really, I am. I was so caught up in needing to be close to Sirius that I forgot to tell you two where I was going.’

‘It’s alright, mate. Just be sure to tell us though. I thought that we were going to have to tell Mum that you were missing if we didn’t find you soon and no one ever wants it to come to that. You know how she freaks.’

‘I know. I’m sorry.’

‘Stop saying that. I’ve told you it’s okay. Why did you need to come here anyway?’

‘I had the nightmare again.’

‘The one where Sirius falls through the veil?’

‘Yeah. That’s the one.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen. I know how much that one hurts you.’

‘It’s okay. I should be used to it by now.’

‘Don’t do that. Don’t try to say that you shouldn’t feel pain. It’s okay that you’re still grieving Sirius. He meant a lot to you. It’s understandable that you’d still be upset after all this time.’

‘You’ve been spending too much time with Hermione. Where is she by the way?’

‘She’s around here somewhere. We agreed that we’d split up to look for you so that if you weren’t here it would give us more time to look for you somewhere else.’

‘How’d you know I’d be here?’

‘Hermione figured it out. She said that the furthest you could go in the middle of the night was to your own flat or here. I should probably tell her that I’ve found you, come to think of it.’

‘Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.’

‘HERMIONE!’

‘YES, RONALD?!’

‘I’VE FOUND HELEN! WE’RE IN SIRIUS’ ROOM!’

‘ON MY WAY!’

A couple of minutes later a frantic looking Hermione burst into the room and immediately engulfed Helen into a fierce embrace.

‘Oh, Helen. Thank god you’re alright. I’ve been so worried.’

‘I’m sorry, Hermione.’

Hermione released her and gave her a disapproving look. ‘No, don’t you apologise. You had a nightmare. One of us should have woke up to comfort you. If one of us had then we would have know where you were.’

‘Don’t do that, Hermione. It’s nobody’s fault. We should have communicated with each other better.’

Ron glanced at his watch and let out a wince.

‘What is it?’ Hermione asked in concern.

‘It’s half past six. Mum will be up soon. We better hurry or else we’ll have to explain why we were out at this time.’

‘Right. We better go. Helen, are you okay to Apparate? Where’s your wand?’

‘I’m good to Apparate. My wand is on the bedside table. I’ll go get it.’

‘Okay. Now let’s hurry before we get caught.’

A few seconds later they were back at the Burrow and they had managed to time their return perfectly. Nobody was up yet since it was Saturday so they were able to say that they had just gotten up a little early and no one would be suspicious.

Entering the kitchen the three of them sat at the kitchen table.

‘So, do you want to tell us the story or do we have to guess what happened?’ Hermione asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You can’t fool me, Helen. I know that something happened while you were away.’

‘What are you talking about, Hermione?’

‘Be quiet, Ronald and let Helen speak.’

‘How are you so sure that something happened?’

‘We’ve been best friends for ten years, Helen. I think I can tell when something’s wrong with you.’

‘Nothing’s wrong, Hermione.’

‘Helen, come on. Just tell us.’

‘Fine. But I don’t know if you’ll believe me.’

‘When have I ever doubted you?’

‘Fine, you win. I was in the past.’

‘You were in the what?’ Ron asked with a bewildered expression on his face.

Hermione, however, looked like she understood perfectly.

‘You time travelled, didn’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘How far back did you go?’ Hermione asked, ignoring Ron who looked extremely confused.

‘I landed in 1941.’

‘1941?! How can you go back seventy years? I thought you could only back a few hours.’

Hermione glared at her boyfriend. ‘Ronald, be quiet! Helen would have told us everything by now if you didn’t keep interrupting all the time.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Continue, Helen.’

‘Okay. As I was saying I landed in 1941. I believe the day was August 1st. At first I didn’t realise I was in the past. It was only when I saw a newspaper that I realised I wasn’t in 2011.’

‘Wait a minute. How did you end up in the past? Did you use a faulty time turner or something?’ Ron questioned.

‘No, I didn’t use a time turner. I actually wished upon a star. I know how silly that sounds but that really is what happened.’

Ron looked shocked. ‘Wow. I didn’t realise that actually worked.’

‘I didn’t either. I was just doing it to make myself feel better. I never thought that it would actually work.’

‘What did you wish for?’ Hermione asked curiously.

Helen blushed a little. ‘I, uh, wished to find true love and happiness.’

‘And did you find it?’

Helen smiled at the thought of Bucky and the relationship they had.

‘Yeah. I did actually.’

‘So, you met someone then?’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Tell us about him.’

‘His name is Bucky. Well, that’s not his real name. It’s a nickname. His real name is James Barnes.’

‘Then why in the world is he called Bucky?’

‘His middle name is Buchanan. His friend Steve shortened it when they were kids and it just stuck.’

‘What’s he like?’

‘He’s tall, handsome and so kind. He was so sweet to me when we were together. And boy was he charming. That Brooklyn accent of his nearly killed me the first time I heard it.’

‘Brooklyn?’

‘Oh, right. I forgot to mention where I ended up, didn’t I?’

‘Yes, you did.’

‘Well, I ended up in Brooklyn.’

‘An American guy, huh? I guess this is why you were never interested in dating anyone before. Your perfect man was in America.’

‘Don’t forget that he was also in the 40s.’

‘That too.’

‘So, what did he look like?’

‘He was very tall, around Ron’s height. He had dark brown hair and icy blue eyes.’

‘Was he handsome?’

‘He was very handsome and he had quite a bit of muscles. His abs were glorious.’

‘Ooh. How exciting.’

‘So, you found true love then?’ Ron asked.

‘I certainly did.’

‘It’s too bad we won’t get to meet this boyfriend of yours. He sounds amazing.’

‘Fiancé actually.’

‘What?’

‘He’s my fiancé. Bucky proposed a couple of months before I returned here.’

‘OH MY GOD!’

‘Jeez, Hermione. Warn a guy next time. You nearly burst my eardrums.’

‘Sorry, honey, but I just couldn’t help it. Our best friend is engaged. Aren’t you happy?’

‘Of course I am but don’t forget that our best friend has also returned to us without her fiancé.’

‘Oh, god, you’re right. Are you okay, Helen?’

‘I’ll get by.’

‘Can we see the ring?’

‘Of course.’

Helen smiled fondly as Hermione gushed over her engagement ring. She had missed the bushy haired brunette so much and it was so good to finally be able to share the happiness of getting engaged with her.

‘It’s so beautiful, Helen. The emeralds match your eyes perfectly. He couldn’t have picked out a better ring.’

‘I know. He’s got good taste.’

‘Of course he does. He fell in love with you, didn’t he?’

‘Oh, Ron, that’s so sweet.’

‘It’s true. Out of all the woman to fall in love with he picked the best one.’

‘Ron...’

‘He’s right, Helen. You are quite the catch. I mean, how many people have you turned down before now? Hundreds of guys must have asked you out by now and you turned every one of them down.’

‘Well, I was waiting for the perfect guy.’

‘You certainly found him. How long were you two together?’

‘Just over two years.’

‘Oh. So you lived through part of WWII then?’

‘Yeah.’

‘What was it like?’

‘Kind of like the Wizarding war we just had but with a lot less magic and a lot more guns.’

‘Was your Bucky a soldier during the war?’

‘Yeah. He was a Sergeant.’

‘Was he dashing in his uniform?’

‘Oh, he definitely was.’

Hermione opened her mouth to ask another question but closed it again as at that moment Mrs Weasley entered the kitchen.

‘Oh. You three are up early.’ She said in a surprised tone.

‘Yeah. I guess we are.’

‘Well, I’m just glad that you didn’t wake anybody up.’ Mrs Weasley said after a few moments.

‘Can we have pancakes for breakfast, Mum?’

‘Alright then. Happy birthday, Helen.’

‘Thanks, Mrs Weasley.’

The smell of pancakes lured everyone else downstairs. It was moments like this that Helen cherished. Being with her family on her birthday was one of the best gifts she could ask for. She only wished that Bucky and Steve were here too. Then everything would be perfect.


	3. Unbreakable Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen spends her birthday in the company of her loved ones. Meanwhile Ron and Hermione help her cope with the loss of Bucky.

* * *

As Helen had suspected Mrs Weasley had in fact planned a party for her. This time the Weasley matriarch went all out on decorations and food which was understandable considering it was her 21st.

It was just a little jarring for Helen to be 21 again. She had spent almost three years in the past and so had aged three years. If she was still in the past she’d be 24 so to be 21 again was rather disconcerting. It was a little difficult for her to understand exactly how this had happened so she turned to Hermione for help.

‘Well, you spent three years in the past so it’s completely understandable that you’d age during that time.’

‘But how am I 21 again?’

‘You were 24 in 1944, Helen. But you’re not there anymore so I think you’ve gone back to the age you were when you made the wish.’

‘How does that work?’

‘Only one night had passed since you made the wish in this time, 2011, so it’s impossible that you’d be 24 here. You can’t age three years in onenight.’

‘Huh. I never thought about it like that. Thanks, ‘Mione.’

‘You’re welcome, Hel. Now go and get dressed. You can’t be late to your own party.’

‘Fine.’

Helen pulled a powder blue floral print knee length dress with a silver bow out of her old school trunk and put it on. She gently curled her hair before pinning it up like she would if she was still in the 40s. Finally she selected a pair of silver heels and put them on.

‘You look pretty, Helen.’ Hermione complimented.

‘Thanks, Hermione. You look pretty too.’

Hermione was wearing a ruby red knee length dress that had a slight ruffle around the hem and bodice with matching red peep toe heels. Her bushy brown hair was tamed and put into an elegant up do, similar to the style she wore it in for the Yule Ball.

‘Alright then. Let’s go, birthday girl.’

Everyone was gathered in the kitchen when Helen and Hermione made their way downstairs. The whole Weasley family was there. Mr and Mrs Weasley, Bill, Fleur and their two children, Percy and his wife Audrey, George and Angelina, Ginny and Neville and of course Ron. Everyone she loved was there. Luna and her boyfriend Rolf managed to make it and Charlie had come all the way from Romania to be here. Even Andromeda and her grandson and Helen’s godson Teddy were here.

As soon as they all spotted her they yelled out in unison, ‘Happy birthday, Helen.’

Once she got closer Teddy came running over to her and hugged her legs. ‘Helly! Helly!’

‘Hey, Teddy.’ Helen greeted as she picked him up.

‘Happy birthday.’

‘Thank you, my little one.’

‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too, buddy.’

‘Sleepover?’

‘Not tonight, baby. There’s no room for you here.’

‘Aw. But I wanna stay with you.’ Teddy said with an adorable pout.

‘I’m sorry, bud. How about you come and stay tomorrow night? I’ll be back at my flat then.’

‘But that’s too far away.’

‘It’ll be here before you know it. So, what do you stay? You want to have a sleepover tomorrow?’

Teddy nodded with all the excitement of a rambunctious three year old and Helen let out a chuckle before putting him down. The boy ran over to his grandmother presumably to tell her all about the upcoming sleepover.

Helen gave her godson one last fond look before she made her way to the kitchen table where the cake was but she only managed to take a couple of steps before she was waylaid once more.

‘Aunt Hel.’

She smiled down at Victoire, Bill and Fleur’s two year old daughter, and gently picked her up when she held out her arms.

‘Hey, Vic. Are you enjoying the party?’ Helen asked as she gently kissed the toddler’s silvery blonde hair.

‘Yeah. Grandma let me try a bit of the icing on the cake. It was yummy.’

‘I’m sure it was.’

‘Can we go open your presents now?’

‘After we cut the cake, sweetheart.’

‘Okay. Can I help you open them?’

‘Of course you can. Now let’s go cut that birthday cake.’

Helen put Victoire down and chuckled as the toddler ran at lightning speed towards the kitchen.

She greeted everyone and smiled as they wished her a happy birthday. Eventually she made it to the kitchen but was stopped from entering by Hermione.

‘’Mione. What’s going on?’

‘Mrs Weasley is finishing something off in there and you know how she gets when she’s cooking.’

‘But she usually lets me help her.’

‘You can’t help today, Helen. It’s your birthday. Mrs Weasley would freak if she knew that you wanted to help.’

‘Okay then.’

‘Come on. Let’s sit down.’

Hermione led Helen over to the two armchairs by the fire and they sat down.

‘Are you enjoying your party so far?’

‘I am. It’s nice to have everyone I love in the same room.’

‘But there’s someone missing, isn’t there?’

Helen sighed dejectedly. ‘Yeah. I want Bucky and Steve to be here but I know it’s impossible.’

‘I don’t think that it’s impossible.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I don’t think that your wish ended when you made it. I think it’s still coming true.’

‘How?’

‘Well, you wished to find true love and you certainly found that with Bucky.’

‘I know.’

‘However, you two haven’t spent the rest of your lives together yet. So the wish can’t possibly be over.’

‘I didn’t specify a time period. I didn’t wish to have true love forever.’

‘I think that when you wish for true love it’s just a given that it will be forever.’

‘You really think that I’ll see him again?’

‘I know you will.’

‘But he might be really old by now or he could be dead.’

‘Helen, if you were transported to his time then it’s perfectly plausible that he’ll be transported here.’

‘Could that really happen?’

‘Yes, it could.’

Helen opened her mouth to ask something else but at that moment Mrs Weasley came into the living room holding the birthday cake.

The twenty one candles were on the cake and carefully lit. Everyone was singing ‘happy birthday’ and Mrs Weasley brought the cake over and placed it on her knees. The cake was Quidditch themed again. This time Mrs Weasley had cut the cake in the shape of Helen’s old Quidditch jersey from when she played at Hogwarts. It was beautiful and a nice reminder of her beloved Quidditch days.

The singing stopped and Helen blew out each candle, with some help from Teddy and Victoire. Once they were all out Mrs Weasley removed them and began to cut the cake into pieces. Everyone enjoyed their slice of the cake and after everyone was finished Helen opened all of her presents, with the exception of a few that she let Victoire open.

A few hours later the party was over and everyone had gone home, except Mr and Mrs Weasley, Charlie, Ron, Hermione and Helen herself.

Hermione was helping Mrs Weasley with the clean up and Mr Weasley and Charlie were talking about the latter’s job in the kitchen. Which left Ron and Helen alone in the living room.

‘Did you enjoy your party?’

‘I did.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I am. Why?’

‘I just thought that you wouldn’t enjoy it that much considering that Bucky is not here.’

‘I am missing him a lot and I definitely wish that he was here but I had my whole family at my party. And what could be better than that.’

‘Having the love of your life here as well.’

‘Well, yeah.’

‘If I could bring him back to you then I would, you know.’

‘I know.’

‘I mean it. If he makes you happy then I’d go to the ends of the earth to get him back for you.’

‘He does. He makes me so happy. The happiest I’ve ever been.’

‘Then I’ll find a way to bring him back to you.’

‘I don’t think you can do that.’

‘I’ll do it even if it’s near impossible. Because your happiness is worth everything to me.’

Helen’s eyes filled with tears at this. ‘Oh, Ron. You don’t have to do that.’

‘For you I’ll do anything.’

‘I’d do the same for you.’

‘I know. I love you, Helen. You’re my best mate, my sister.’

‘I love you too, Ron. You’ve always been like a brother to me.’

‘Me and Hermione are going to be there for you, mate. We’ll get through this together like we always do.’

‘I know and I’m so grateful to have your support in this.’

‘We’ll always be there to help you. I think Hermione is already researching time travel so she can bring Bucky here.’

‘That sounds like her.’

‘It really does.’

‘So you believe that I’ll see Bucky again too?’

‘I do. You can’t just have half a life with your soulmate and that’s it. Not when you wished upon a star. Those wishes are supposed to come true. There’s no half coming true with these things. You’ll see Bucky again and then you’ll spend the rest of your lives together. After I give him the shovel talk of course.’

‘I hope you get to give it.’

‘I will. I’ve already got it all planned out.’

‘Just don’t scare him too much.’

‘I thought you said he was a soldier. Why would he be scared of me?’

‘These talks terrify even the toughest people.’

‘As long as he makes you happy and never hurts you then I think we’ll get along just fine.’

‘I don’t doubt that.’

‘I mean it. He better treat you right.’

‘He always did.’

‘You miss him, don’t you?’

‘More than anything.’

‘We’ll do everything we can to bring him here.’

‘I know you will.’

‘You’ll see him again, Helen.’

‘I can’t wait.’

Although she had serious doubts that she would in fact see Bucky again she was so grateful that Ron and Hermione were trying to find a way to transport him to this time. She really had the greatest friends in the world and she knew that with their love and support she’d be able to survive in a world without Bucky.


	4. A New Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen returns to work and continues to make a difference.

* * *

A week later Helen was back at work and she revelled in the normalcy that it brought. After years of adventures and impossible tasks during her years at Hogwarts it was nice to have a job that everyone else could have. Being an Auror was everything that Helen wanted and she absolutely adored working different cases.

Today, however, she was not at the Ministry to do Auror work. Instead she was here to put forward an idea for a new law.

Thanks to Hermione’s high ranking position in Magical Law Enforcement as well as her own station as Assistant Head Auror and the Girl Who Lived, she was granted an audience with Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt who would decide whether or not her idea was passed into law. Unfortunately Hermione was unable to attend the meeting, which was a shame considering she helped with the intricacies of the would be law, as she had her own meeting to attend to.

So Helen found herself sitting outside the Minister’s office alone.

Kingsley’s secretary came out of the office and Helen looked up in anticipation.

‘Helen Potter, the Minister will see you now.’

‘Thank you.’

Kingsley was sitting at his large desk, pouring over endless amounts of paperwork, when she entered. He didn’t appear to have noticed her yet so she knocked on the closed door.

Kingsley smiled when he looked up and saw her. ‘Helen Potter. How lovely to see you.’

‘It’s nice to see you too, Kingsley.’

‘What can I do for you today?’ The former Auror asked.

‘I came to see if you would pass this new law that I came up with.’

‘If it’s as good as your law about Hogwarts staff being required to undergo tests to see if they have any blood prejudices then I’m sure I’ll love it.’

‘Yeah. The Hogwarts Equality Act. One of the best things Hermione and I have done together.’

‘Where is Miss Granger? She usually accompanies you to these things.’

‘She’s stuck in a meeting.’

‘Ah. How unfortunate. Well, I’m sure you’ll manage without her. Let’s hear this idea of yours.’

‘Well, it’s called Lupin’s Law.’

Kingsley got a fond look in his eyes at the mention of Lupin. ‘After Remus Lupin, I take it? You both were rather fond of each other.’

‘Yes, it’s named after him.’

‘A nice tribute for him. He was a great man despite his unfortunate condition. People misjudged him because of it and didn’t get to know him properly. I assume that’s what this law is about.’

‘You’d be correct, Minister.’

‘Call me Kingsley, please. I’ve known you since you were a teenager. I think we’ve earned first name basis with each other, don’t you?’

‘Of course, Kingsley. This law will hopefully eradicate the bias and stigma against werewolves for good.’

‘I hope it will. Continue.’

‘The law makes it mandatory for werewolves to undergo tests to make sure that they are not a threat to society. If they pass the tests then it will go on their official record and employers cannot discriminate against them because it has been deemed that their condition is not a problem and so should be treated like every other witch or wizard. The law further states that those who do discriminate a werewolf who have passed the test will be heavily fined. Hopefully these new measures will make sure that werewolves are treated like the actual human beings that they are instead of mindless animals.’

‘It certainly sounds like it would work. But what happens if a werewolf doesn’t pass the tests?’

‘Then it’ll be put on their record that they failed and employers are allowed to conduct their own tests to be assured of their safety and that of their customers. In three months they will be allowed to take the tests again and there will be a centre which helps werewolves overcome their need to bite humans and find a more creative outlet for the rage that the full moon causes if they refuse to take the Wolfsbane potion.’

‘Another brilliant idea that will surely revolutionise the wizarding world as we know it.’

‘So you’ll make it into an actual law?’

‘Yes. I will put it forward to the Magical Law department who will enact it into an official law. Congratulations, Helen. In a few weeks’ time you’ll have another law under your belt.’

‘Thank you, Kingsley. You have no idea how much this means.’

‘Considering how much Lupin meant to you I can take an educated guess.’

‘I only wish that he was alive to see this. He would have loved this.’

‘I’m sure he’s looking down right now and feeling so proud of all that you’ve done.’

‘I hope so.’

‘You’ve come so far, Helen. In the few years that I’ve known you you’ve changed the world with more success that any Minister of Magic has.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Now I’m sure you’ll want to get back to your Auror duties.’

‘I do. It is my dream job after all.’

Kingsley chuckled. ‘I remember.’

‘Goodbye, Kingsley.’

‘Goodbye, Helen.’

An hour later Helen was working a case with Ron. They were sent to investigate a household that was suspected of hoarding illegal magic items.

‘Who owns this place again?’ Ron asked as they walked up to the house.

‘Someone called Babir or something. I think they’re Muggleborn.’

‘The Muggleborns are usually obsessed with items like magic carpets.’

‘Yeah. They usually get disappointed when they learn that they can’t fly on a magic carpet.’

‘Why do they like that idea so much anyway?’

‘There is a movie called Aladdin and there’s a scene where the two main characters fly on a magic carpet and fall in love.’

‘Huh. I guess that’s why.’

‘I guess so.’

A minute later they were standing on the doorstep and Ron rang the bell.

A tall dark skinned man answered. ‘Can I help you?’

‘Are you Mr Babir?’

‘Yes.’

‘We have a search warrant for your home.’

‘Why?’

‘We have strong suspicions that you might be hoarding illegal magical items.’

‘I’m not.’

‘I’m afraid we cannot take your word for it, Mr Babir. We will have to search your home with or without your permission.’

‘Come in then.’

Helen and Ron did so and spent half an hour completely ransacking the house. Sure enough they found two magic carpets hidden in a storage cupboard, confirming their suspicions.

‘Mr Babir. You have two magic carpets in your possession. Can you tell us why?’

‘They were a gift.’

‘And who gave them to you?’

‘A man who called himself Ali.’

‘Was this man a wizard?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you certain?’

‘Yes. He showed me his wand.’

‘Alright then. Mr Babir, were you aware that owning magic carpets is illegal?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then why do you have them?’

‘I thought that if you didn’t use them then it was okay.’

‘I’m afraid you are mistaken.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘Well, we’ll have to confiscate the magic carpets and then you’ll receive a fine for having them.’

‘How much?’

‘A hundred Galleons per carpet.’

‘Two hundred?! But I don’t have that.’

‘Your large house states otherwise. In any case you have 30 days to pay the fine.’

‘And if I don’t?’

‘The Wizengamot will decide what to do with you.’

‘Okay.’

‘Thank you for your time, Mr Babir.’

‘I hope you learned a valuable lesson.’

With that Helen and Ron left the house.

‘I hope you learned a valuable lesson? Are you being serious, Ron?’ Helen asked incredulously after they had left the property.

‘What? It was an important lesson for him to learn.’

‘I think he knew that already. You didn’t need to tell him.’

‘Maybe I did. He didn’t seem to get that he’d done something wrong.’

‘He just got handed a hefty fine. I think he knew that he did something wrong.’

‘Well, it was fun to say regardless.’

Helen laughed. ‘Oh, Ron. You really are hilarious.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I just don’t think that Mr Babir appreciated your sense of humour.’

‘Maybe he did.’

‘He just got fined two hundred Galleons and lost his precious magic carpets. I don’t think he was in a joking mood.’

‘Well, I thought it was funny.’

‘Of course you did. You always find your jokes funny.’

‘I can’t help it if I’m hilarious.’

‘Let’s just get back to the Ministry. We need to deliver these magic carpets.’

‘Fine.’

A few weeks later Helen was sitting in the living room of her flat reading today’s Daily Prophet when Hermione came bursting through the door.

‘Merlin, Hermione. Calm down, will you?’

Hermione didn’t seem to hear this as she squealed in excitement. ‘Helen! Guess what?’

‘What?’

‘Lupin’s Law has been officially passed!’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. It got passed yesterday and they’re announcing it today.’

‘Wow.’

‘I know. It’s so exciting!’

‘Remus would be so happy.’

‘He would and he’d also be so proud of you for doing this.’

‘You think so?’

‘I know so. He’d be so proud of the woman you have become.’

‘I wish he was here to see all of this. All the changes to the Ministry. Seeing Teddy grow up.’

‘I know but I’m sure he’s looking down right now and feeling so happy and proud of all that’s happening.’

‘He would. This world we’re living in now is exactly what he died for.’

‘It’s what everyone who fought with us died for.’

‘I just wish that so many didn’t have to die for a world that already should have existed.’

‘It does now and that’s all that matters.’

‘Yeah. So when is it being announced?’

‘In an hour. They’ll be a special edition of the Prophet detailing the law and what it’s about.’

‘I take it I’ll be mentioned.’

‘You’ll be credited for coming up with it, yes. And you also have to attend the party celebrating it.’

‘A party? Hermione, you know I don’t like going to these things.’

‘This isn’t going to be like the others. This party will be celebrating something that you actually wanted to do and you’re proud of doing.’

‘I’m proud of defeating Voldemort.’

‘Yes but you did that because you were the only one who could. This is something that you had a choice in.’

‘I guess so.’

‘The party’s tomorrow at eight. Wear a nice dress and don’t be late.’

‘That rhymed.’

‘You’ve been listening to Ron’s jokes too much.’

‘They’re not that bad.’

‘Yes but they’re not good.’

‘Some are actually funny.’

‘The minority of them are.’

‘Okay. Ron’s jokes aside, do I really have to attend this thing?’

‘Yes. It wouldn’t be right if the person who actually created this law wasn’t at the party that is celebrating its enactment.’

‘Fine. I’ll be there.’

‘Good. I’ll see you there.’

The next evening Helen got dressed into a knee length red dress and headed over to the Ministry of Magic. The party was held in the ballroom which shocked Helen a bit as she had no idea that the Ministry had a ballroom.

Ron and Hermione were already there when she got there which was not surprising considering Hermione’s fondness for punctuality.

‘Hey, Helen. You look nice.’

‘Thanks, Ron. It’s nice to know that you’re here too.’

‘Well, my best mate and my girlfriend came up with this amazing new law so I had to attend the party that’s honouring them.’

‘It was all Helen’s idea. I just helped with the finer details.’

‘Still, you two make a good team.’

‘We do.’

‘Let’s go inside, Helen. Everyone’s waiting for you to arrive.’

‘Fine. Let’s get this over with.’ Helen said, causing Ron to chuckle and Hermione to roll her eyes fondly.

The party actually turned out to be a lot of fun. At the very beginning Kingsley gave a speech about the new law and credited both Helen and Hermione for coming up with it. After everyone gave their congratulations the party really began. Ron stuffed his face full of the food from the buffet while Helen and Hermione danced. To Helen it was the perfect way to honour Remus who sacrificed the chance to see his son grow up for the safety of the wizarding world.


	5. A Very Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen spends Christmas at the Burrow and remembers her time with Bucky.

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and Helen was staying at the Burrow for the holidays. This was going to be Helen’s first Christmas since she returned from the past and she was really nervous. It would be her first one without Bucky and Steve and that made her sad. She had grown to really love the quiet and simple Christmases that they had together and she was really going to miss spending it with them.

But on the other hand she adored the Christmases she had spent with the Weasleys and Hermione and she was excited to spend another with them. Still, it would be bittersweet this year. She was spending the holidays without her fiancé and their best friend. It just wasn’t the ideal time to celebrate when she was still mourning over the loss of two important people in her life.

She remembered the first Christmas Eve she had spent in the past. It was the day that Bucky and Steve went to the recruitment centre to enlist for the army. She remembered waiting with frayed nerves for them to come back to their shared apartment. When they did she learned that Bucky was successful but Steve wasn’t. She remembered the mixture of excitement, fear and pity painted vividly across Bucky’s face and the distraught and embarrassed look on Steve’s. She remembered feeling upset that Bucky would be heading to war soon but feeling proud of him at the same time. She remembered his promise to her like it was yesterday. She could hear it echoing in her mind right now.

‘I know I’ve said it before but I swear to you that I will come back to you. Nothing will stop me from doing so. I promise.’

He was so sure that day and all the days before that. He was adamant that he’d make it back and they’d have the future that they always wanted together. He swore that he would do anything to make it happen and it made her tear up knowing that now that could never happen.

‘I’m only doing this for you. So we can have that future together. I’ll kill a thousand Nazis just so we can have a safe and happy life with each other.’

‘I’ll do everything I can to come back to you. I swear it.’

‘I’ll do anything to have a future with you even if it means I have to survive a war zone. I’ll do it. For you.’

The loving words that Bucky said echoed around her mind like a ringing bell. All those promises he made and did his best to keep played on her mind like a broken record. The sound of his voice was constantly playing in her head and she longed to physically see him and touch him.

She missed him so much and she longed more than ever to be in his arms. It just wasn’t fair that they were forced to be apart. They were soulmates. They were meant to be together. Why were they so cruelly ripped apart like this? It wasn’t right.

She sighed and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She saw how red her eyes were and groaned. Ron and Hermione would know that she’d be been crying and would ask her to talk about it. And she didn’t want to talk about it. She just wanted Bucky.

She gently wiped her eyes and remembered what Bucky said about her eyes on their very first date.

‘Yeah, they’re just so... beautiful. I can’t describe it. It’s like I get lost in them and at the same time they’re like home. And they’re such a gorgeous shade, like shining emeralds.’

Her eyes were his favourite thing about her and he complimented them all the time. He even went as far to say that he wanted all of their children to have her eyes. Now none of their children would have her eyes because they wouldn’t have any children now they were apart.

She wished more than anything that Bucky was with her when she died in the past. Maybe if they were together then Bucky would have travelled back with her and they wouldn’t be 70 years apart right now.

‘I know because we’re meant to be together. And I know that I’m not going to die before we get the chance to get married and have kids. I swear to you now, my love, I’ll be old and grey when you see me die.’

‘I promise, babydoll. I swear with everything that I have that I will come back to you even if I have to yell at God himself. I’ll do it if it means I can spend the rest of my life with you.’

‘I love you, Helen Evans. More than you will ever know. I love you with my every breath, with everything that I am.’

The conversation that she and Bucky had when they went out on their last date before Bucky shipped out echoed around her head, torturing her with how full of love and conviction they were. They were both so sure that they would spend the rest of their lives together. It killed her to know that now that would never be true. They were so in love and so happy together and not even the war broke them apart. So why did a stupid little illness take them away from each other? Why did this have to happen to them? Did they not deserve a lifetime of happiness together? Was it too much to ask to be with each other until they were both old and grey? After all Helen did to save the wizarding world, after all the effort she put in to make it a better place, after selflessly giving up her life so Voldemort could be defeated, did she not deserve to be with the one person who made her truly happy and loved her more than anything? What did she do to deserve to live the rest of her days without Bucky? Did fate hate her so much that it wanted her to spend the rest of her life in absolute misery? It just wasn’t fair. She wanted Bucky. They didn’t deserve to be separated like this. They were both good people.

Why did fate have to be so cruel to them? Couldn’t she just have this one thing for herself? She had dedicated her whole life to helping others. Did that mean nothing? Did she not deserve to be selfish for once and have the life she had always wanted with the love of her life?

She was broken out of her rather depressing thoughts by the door to her bedroom opening. She looked up and saw that it was Hermione.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey. Why aren’t you dressed yet? We’re supposed to be going last minute gift shopping in an hour.’

‘Sorry. I just got lost in my thoughts.’

‘You were thinking about Bucky again, weren’t you?’

‘Yeah. I was just remembering all the good times we had together.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen.’

‘I know you are.’

‘Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?’

‘That depends. Can you bring him here to me?’

‘If that’s what you need then I’ll find a way.’

‘It’s impossible, Hermione. There’s no way you can figure out how to travel 70 years in the past. It’s hopeless.’

‘Couldn’t you wish on a star again?’

‘I think that was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. I doubt that it will work again.’

‘It wouldn’t hurt to try.’

‘I think it would hurt a lot. It always hurts.’

‘I wish I could take away your pain. I hate seeing you like this.’

‘Do you still believe that the wish isn’t over? That I’ll see him again?’

‘I do. I think that maybe he needs to figure out how to time travel here. You got what you wanted by wishing for it. Maybe he needs to do the same.’

‘I hope he figures it out soon then.’

‘I’m sure he’ll do everything he can to come back to you.’

‘He did promise that he would a few times before and he always kept that promise.’

‘Then I’m sure that he’ll keep it this time.’

‘I hope so.’

‘Don’t give up, Helen. If it’s meant to be then it’ll find a way to be.’

‘I won’t. I’ll always hope that one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be right next to me.’

‘I hope that one day he will.’

‘Thanks, ‘Mione.’

‘You’re welcome. Now hurry up and get dressed. Ginny and Mrs Weasley are waiting downstairs.’

‘Fine. Just give me five minutes.’

‘Okay. I’ll wait outside.’

‘Alright.’

Once Hermione had left and closed the door Helen put on a woolly dark green jumper and a pair of jeans on. She paired it with brown boots and grabbed her matching hat and scarf set. She shrugged on her favourite winter coat and put on her gloves before heading out the door.

Hermione was waiting in the hall when she emerged and the bushy haired brunette gave her a smile when she saw her, which Helen returned.

‘You ready to go?’ Hermione asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Let’s go then.’

Ginny and Mrs Weasley were waiting in the living room for them and the two of them got up from their seats when they saw them coming down the stairs.

‘Helen, Hermione, you’re here. That’s good. We can get going now.’

‘We’ve only been waiting for ten minutes, Mum.’

‘I know but it’s better that we leave as early as possible. Dragon Alley is usually mobbed this time of year.’

‘Where are we going this year, Mrs Weasley?’ Hermione asked.

‘I think we’ll head to all our usual spots. I need to find a good present for Percy and Audrey now that they’re engaged.’

‘Mum, Percy said he didn’t want a big fuss.’

‘Well, that doesn’t mean that he can’t get a nice present.’

‘Just don’t go over the top. Percy just wants to be treated like he normally would. He doesn’t want any special treatment just because he’s engaged. You’ve already fussed over him enough anyway. Especially after that party you threw to celebrate their engagement.’

‘Well, he still needs a gift regardless. And it’ll be difficult this year. I swear he’s already got every book from Flourish and Blotts.’

‘I’m sure they’ll have new books in stock by now, Mrs Weasley.’ Hermione said reassuringly.

‘I hope so. Percy loves reading new books.’

‘So does Hermione.’ Helen said with a fond smile.

‘She does.’

‘I wonder how many books you’ll get this year, Hermione.’

‘Well, I always like getting new books.’

‘Right. Let’s go before the shops get too crowded.’

The four of them headed over to the fireplace where the bowl of Floo powder was kept. Mrs Weasley brought out a little handful for each of them and carefully gave it to them. One by one they threw the powder into the fireplace and called out ‘Diagon Alley’.

Half an hour later the four of them were making excellent progress with their shopping, although Helen was still feeling a little woozy. Travelling by Floo powder was not her favourite thing in the world but she was glad that she did it right this time unlike her first attempt back in her second year of Hogwarts.

She and Hermione were currently in Flourish and Blotts. Hermione was looking to see if there were any new books in stock and Helen was secretly picking out Hermione’s Christmas present. She had already picked out a book for Percy. It was a book detailing the specifics of wizarding law which was perfect for Percy since he loved that area so much.

She scanned the shelves for the perfect book for Hermione and after a few minutes of searching she finally found it. It was a book that debated whether or not House elves should be permitted to use wands. Helen knew Hermione didn’t have it so she took it off the shelf and hid it under her coat. She took it to the till when Hermione wasn’t looking and placed it safely in her shopping bag.

Hermione came over a few minutes later and payed for her own gift to Percy. They met up at the door and went in search of Ginny and Mrs Weasley.

They found them at Madam Malkin’sand half an hour later they had finished shopping and returned to the Burrow in time for tea.

The next morning everyone was up bright and early to open their presents. Teddy and Victoire were particularly excited and everyone took great joy in watching them rip open their presents in barely contained enthusiasm.

After everyone had opened their presents it was time to eat. They all gathered around the table as Mrs Weasley brought out the turkey and Mr Weasley carved it. Once everyone had turkey and sides on their plates they all tucked in.

Helen savoured every bite she took. One of the few things she hated about being in the past was the lack of Mrs Weasley’s cooking and she intended to cherish having it again for as long as possible.

Once everyone had finished their main course and had seconds Mrs Weasley brought out the Christmas pudding and mince pies. Helen enjoyed them as well but a part of her missed eating pumpkin pie. She’d have to ask Mrs Weasley to make it one day.

Soon the day was over and Helen was lying awake in her bed. It truly was one of the best Christmases she had ever had even if it did lack Bucky and Steve. But she knew that as long as she had her family she could get through the heartbreak of missing them.


	6. An Unexpected Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On her 22nd birthday Ron and Hermione surprise her with a trip to New York. While there she finds out what happened to Steve and Bucky after she ‘died’.

* * *

Almost a year had passed since Helen had travelled to the 1940s and met Bucky and Steve. She still missed them so much and she hoped that they had both survived the war. She didn’t know what she’d do if she found out that they had died so cruelly.

Tomorrow would make the one year anniversary of her making the wish. She made it on her birthday and tomorrow was her birthday. It was her 22nd birthday so she knew that it wouldn’t be as big a deal as her last birthday was. She knew that there was still going to be a party but it wouldn’t be an all out celebration considering it wasn’t a special birthday like last year’s was. She was grateful for this because she was feeling a bit depressed over the fact that she hadn’t seen Bucky in over a year and she didn’t want to have to pretend to be happy for too long.

To distract herself from her grief Helen decided to look through the photo album Hagrid had given her back in first year. Originally it only contained photos of her parents and a few of herself as a baby but Helen had added to it since then. She had put every photo she had taken in it including a few rare ones of her and Bucky with Steve and Peggy in a couple too. Most of the ones she added were of her, Ron and Hermione at Hogwarts. All of her memories were contained in this album and for that reason it was one of her most prized possessions. She would be distraught if she ever lost it. It meant too much to her.

She smiled as she saw a picture of her mother smiling. She looked so happy and carefree and it was nice to see her like that after years of dreaming about her begging Voldemort to spare Helen’s life and to kill her instead. A picture of her father with Sirius and Remus made her laugh. Her dad and Sirius were making silly faces and Remus was rolling his eyes at them. She had no idea where Pettigrew was at the time the photo was taken nor did she care. He meant nothing to her after she learned that he betrayed her parents and she couldn’t care less what he was up to at the time or why he wasn’t with his friends.

She continued to flick through the pages and saw various pictures of her, Ron and Hermione throughout the years. They had grown up so much and all the memories captured in the photos were ones that she would cherish for the rest of her life.

She turned the page and and her heart stopped when she saw a picture of her and Bucky. It was one of them at the expo. She vaguely remembered Connie taking a picture of them by one of the exhibits. The printed picture was sent to her a few weeks later.

She bit her lip to stop herself from crying as she examined the photo. They both looked so happy in it and so very much in love. You could tell just by looking at the photo how much they both adored each other. God, she missed him so much. She longed to be enveloped in his arms like she was in the picture.

But she knew that she could never have that. It was highly unlikely that she would ever see Bucky again and she just had to accept that.

The sound of the door opening broke her out of her thoughts. She looked up and saw Ron and Hermione entering the room.

‘Hey, guys.’

‘Hey, Helen. What are you doing?’ Hermione asked.

‘Just looking through my photo album.’

‘Are you okay?’ Ron asked.

‘Yes. Why?’

‘You only look through your photo album when you’re upset or feeling sentimental.’ Ron pointed out.

‘I’m not upset, Ron.’

‘You look as if you’ve been crying, Helen. Don’t try and fool us. We know you.’ Hermione said with a frown.

‘Okay, fine. I’m a little upset.’

‘What’s happened?’ Ron asked in concern.

‘I just miss Bucky so much and it kills me that I might never see him again.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen.’

‘It’s okay. It’s not your fault.’

‘Is that Bucky in that photo with you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘He’s really handsome. I can see why you like him so much.’

‘Hermione! Helen’s not superficial like that. I’m sure there’s so much more that she likes about Bucky other than his looks.’

‘Well, I admit that his good looks is what attracted to me at first. However what made me fall in love with him was his kindness and selflessness and how much he cared about those he loved.’

‘He sounds amazing.’

‘He really was, ‘Mione.’

‘You’ll get through this, Helen. You’re the strongest person I know. If anyone can get through this it’s you.’

‘Thanks, Ron.’

‘Are you excited about your birthday?’

‘No, I’m not. You know what tomorrow signifies, Hermione.’

‘The day you made the wish. Of course. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine. I can’t stop celebrating my birthday because it hurts too much.’

‘No one will be offended if you decide you don’t want a party.’

‘I couldn’t do that to everyone. You know how much your mum likes these things.’

‘Mum will understand, mate. There’s no need to make everyone else happy when you’re not.’

‘It’s not a big deal to celebrate a birthday, Ron.’

‘If you’re not excited or happy about your birthday then there’s no point in celebrating it.’

‘Hermione, stop it. I’ll be fine.’

‘If you’re sure.’

‘I am. Stop worrying, you two. I can handle it.’

‘But you shouldn’t have to.’

‘I’ll be okay, Ron.’

‘I know. I just want to stop you from hurting.’

‘It’ll be a while before I stop hurting.’

‘I wish I could take away your pain. We both do.’

‘You are. I mean you can’t completely take it away but you’re certainly helping. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you two.’

‘We’ll always be here for you, Helen. We have since we were eleven.’

‘It was simpler back then, wasn’t it?’

Ron snorted. ‘If you call defeating a mountain troll and stopping Voldemort from stealing the Philosopher’s Stone simple.’

Helen laughed. ‘Well, it certainly was simpler than all the other years.’

‘Mm.’

‘We’ve been through a lot together, huh?’

‘We have.’

‘And we’ll get through a lot more together.’

‘I love you guys.’

‘We love you too.’

The next day it was Helen’s birthday and she groaned at the thought. Today wasn’t just her birthday for Helen. It was the one year anniversary of her making the wish that transported her to the past where she met the love of her life. And only Ron and Hermione knew that. Though she thought that Mrs Weasley suspected that she met someone.

Helen didn’t know how she was going to get through this. As more and more time passed since she had last seen Bucky the further she sunk into a really bad depression. It hadn’t even been this bad after the Battle of Hogwarts. But then again although she had lost important people that day she hadn’t lost the love of her life like she had now.

Letting out a harsh breath she slowly got out of bed and headed to her wardrobe to pick out an outfit for today. She selected a simple purple dress and was just zipping it up when the door to her bedroom crashed open and Ron came bounding in.

‘Happy birthday, mate.’

‘Thanks, Ron.’

‘Mum’s made you a plate of pancakes for your birthday breakfast.’

‘I told her that I don’t need a special breakfast just because it’s my birthday.’

‘You know that she doesn’t listen when it comes to things like that. She likes to make a big fuss when it comes to birthdays.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ Helen said as she braided her hair into a single plait.

‘You ready?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Come on then. Everyone’s waiting downstairs.’

‘I’m coming, you goof.’

Helen followed Ron downstairs and into the living room where Hermione and the Weasleys were already sitting at the table.

They all wished her a happy birthday as Helen took a seat between Hermione and Ginny.

‘You feeling okay about today?’ Hermione whispered.

‘I’m managing.’ Helen whispered back.

Hermione nodded and went back to her breakfast of eggs and bacon just as Mrs Weasley placed a large plate of pancakes in front of Helen.

‘How come I don’t get any pancakes with syrup?’ George complained.

‘Because it’s not your birthday. Now stop complaining and eat your breakfast.’ Mrs Weasley scolded.

‘Are you enjoying your breakfast, Helen?’ Mr Weasley asked.

‘Yes, it’s very good. Thank you, Mrs Weasley.’

‘It’s no trouble, dear. Oh, stop laughing, Ron!’

Helen turned her head to glance at Ron who was red from laughing and now looked properly chastised as Mrs Weasley sent a glare his way.

‘What were you laughing at anyway?’ Helen asked Ron after breakfast was over.

‘The look on George’s face after Mum scolded him.’

‘That certainly backfired on you because you got that exact same look after Mrs Weasley scolded you.’

‘Yeah, I really should have been quieter.’

‘She still would have caught you. Nothing gets past her.’

‘Tell me about it.’

‘You really should know better by now.’

‘Stop it you!’

‘Don’t get all angry at me. You’re the one who got caught.’

‘Alright you two. That’s enough of that. Mrs Weasley will kill you both if she sees you fighting.’

‘We weren’t fighting, Hermione. We were just messing around.’

‘Tell that to your mother, Ronald. You know she hates roughhousing.’

‘Right. I forgot.’

Hermione rolled her eyes at her boyfriend before turning her attention to Helen. ‘Are you ready to open your presents?’

‘If I must.’ Helen said, sighing.

‘I think you’ll really like them this year.’

‘That doesn’t make me feel better, Ron.’

‘Come on. You’ll see what I mean when you open them.’

Helen followed her two best friends to the living room where a small pile of presents was laid out in front of the fireplace. The Weasleys were all sitting around them, eagerly waiting for her arrival.

They all smiled when they saw her and Ron guided her over to the pile of presents. She got several items of clothing from Mrs Weasley, a Phoenix hair clip from Bill and Fleur, books from Percy and Audrey, an assortment of items from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes from George and a Quidditch magazine from Angelina, a photo frame from Ginny and a scrapbook from Ron and Hermione.

‘Do you like all your presents, dear?’ Mrs Weasley asked.

‘I love them. Thank you everyone.’

‘You’re welcome, dear. Now let’s have some party food. I prepared a few nibbles.’

‘Wait a minute. Before we do that Hermione and I have a little surprise for Helen.’

‘Ron, I said I didn’t want a big fuss. What have you two done?’

‘Relax, mate. You’ll like this surprise.’

‘Okay then. What is it?’

Ron grinned at her before handing her an envelope. She ripped it open and gasped at what she saw inside. Three tickets to New York.

‘Are you serious? You’re taking me to New York?’

Ron grinned giddily. ‘Of course we are.’

‘Oh my god! You guys are the best.’

‘Do you like your surprise?’ Hermione asked with a fond grin.

‘Are you kidding? Of course I do! Thank you. Thank you so much.’

‘You don’t need to thank us, mate. We know how much you’ve always wanted to go to New York.’

‘Still, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble so thank you.’

‘We’d do anything for you, Helen.’

‘When do we leave?’

‘In a few days. So you better start packing.’

‘I will. This is the best gift ever.’

‘I’m glad you like it.’

‘I do. I really do.’

A few days later Helen, Ron and Hermione arrived in New York. They had taken a plane to get there which fascinated Ron as he had never seen anything like it before. After a long flight they were more than ready to get to their hotel and relax.

Half an hour later they had arrived at their hotel and settled into their hotel room.

‘Are you going to look for him tomorrow?’ Hermione asked Helen.

‘I’m going to look for both of them. I have to know what happened to them, even if I don’t like the answer.’

‘We’ll worry about it tomorrow.’

‘You’re right. It’s time we got some sleep. Ron is already ahead of us.’ Helen said, gesturing to where Ron was passed out on one of the beds.

‘He better not snore. I hate it when he does that.’

‘He looks too exhausted to snore.’

‘Mm. Goodnight, Helen.’

‘Goodnight, Hermione.’

The next morning both Helen and Hermione woke up bright and early. They wanted to see all the tourist attractions and they knew they had to get up early if they wanted to get there before it got too crowded.

Helen and Hermione were fully dressed and ready to go by the time Ron started to show signs of waking up. Hermione rolled her eyes and shook Ron hard which startled him awake.

‘Wha’s goin’ on?’

‘Get up, Ronald. We’re going sightseeing.’

‘But it’s six o clock in the morning. Can’t we go later?’

‘No, we can’t. It’ll be too busy if we go later. Now get up.’

‘Is anything even open?’

‘Yes, I checked. Now stop making excuses and get dressed.’

‘Fine. I’m going. You don’t need to nag me.’

‘Just hurry up, Ronald.’

‘Love you too, ‘Mione.’

Ten minutes later Ron was fully dressed and ready to go and so they headed off to the streets of New York to sightsee.

Hermione wanted to see the Statue of Liberty so they headed there first and they had lots of fun climbing all the way to the top and looking at the view of the city. Hermione took many photos, much to Ron’s annoyance, and they posed for a final one standing in front of it after they climbed back down to the bottom.

The next stop was the Empire State Building and they had to wait a bit to get in the elevator that took them to the top but they enjoyed seeing it despite the wait.

Finally they took a walk through Central Park before shopping at Macy’s. From there they went their separate ways. Hermione and Ron were going on a little lunch date and Helen was heading to the library to try and find any books that would tell her what happened to Steve and Bucky after she had left.

Some time later she found herself at the New York City Public Library. It was a far cry from the little library she went to in Brooklyn back in the 40s but she was sure that it was bound to have plenty of the information she needed given its size.

She approached the lady sitting behind the information desk to ask for help.

‘Excuse me. Do you know where I can find books on Captain America and the Howling Commandos?’

‘In the history section under WWII.’

‘Thank you, ma’am.’

‘You’re welcome.’

Helen left the information desk and entered the history section which she found after a few minutes of searching. Scanning the books under the label ‘WWII’ she eventually found a book titled ‘The Complete History of Captain America’. Grinning she pulled it off the shelf and began to read it.

What she found cut her to her very core. Bucky had died not even a year after she had. He fell from a train during a mission. His body was likely frozen in the Alps, his last breath an icy one. And Steve, reckless and self sacrificing Steve, he crashed a plane into the Artic to save everyone. They died heroes and a part of Helen was glad that they remained true to themselves until the very end. But another part of her wished they had survived and thus were able to be transported to the future to be with her. Now that would never happen. And she just had to accept that. No matter how much it hurt. She had to accept that they were gone and there was no way she would ever get the chance to see them again.


	7. A Blast from the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week into her trip to New York Helen runs into a very familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note: if anyone wants to email me about anything like story ideas or fan art then my email address is atlanta.18@icloud.com.
> 
> That being said, enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

A week had passed since they had arrived in New York and Helen refused to leave the hotel room. Ron and Hermione tried several times to get her to go out for a bit but they understood why she was so upset. She had been clinging onto the hope that maybe Bucky would travel through time to be with her. Now that hope was gone. Bucky was dead and there was no coming back from that. She’d just have to spend the rest of her life without him. And it stung badly.

Still, Ron and Hermione encouraged her to leave the hotel room for a bit, claiming it would help clear her head. Helen was sceptical but she trusted them more than anything so she finally decided to take a walk alone.

Ten minutes later she was walking through the busy streets of Manhattan lost in her thoughts of missing Bucky and Steve and grieving the loss of them. She had no idea why fate would do this to them. Steve and Bucky were two of the kindest, bravest and most selfless men she had ever met. They didn’t deserve to have their lives so cruelly ended like that. They deserved to live a long and happy life. They shouldn’t have had to sacrifice their own lives to stop scum like HYDRA. They deserved a happy ending. All of them did. And now it looked like neither Helen, Steve or Bucky would get one.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t see a tall muscular blond man heading her way. So it was a shock when she was nearly knocked onto the ground as she crashed into what felt like a brick wall. Except the brick wall caught her before she fell on her backside and placed her on her feet. So not a brick wall but rather a person.

She looked up to thank the person and got the shock of her life.

‘Steve?!’ She yelled in shock.

‘Helen?!’

‘Is it really you?’

‘Is it really _you_? The last I remember you were definitely dead.’

‘I could say the same to you. I read about how you crashed the plane into the ice.’

‘You didn’t read about how I was found a few months ago?’

‘I only arrived a week ago.’

‘Helen, how are you alive? And how are you here? In this time?’

‘I suppose we have a lot to talk about. Perhaps we should go somewhere quieter.’

‘Yeah, that’s a good idea. My apartment is not far from here. We can go there.’

‘Lead the way.’

‘So, we’re both here in the future. I never expected that.’ Helen said after they had sat on the small couch in Steve’s apartment.

‘Neither did I.’

‘How did you survive crashing into the ice?’

‘I guess the serum kept me alive. I was trapped in a block of ice for almost seventy years. It was a shock waking up and seeing how much had changed.’

‘I can sympathise. What happened after you woke up?’

‘I was recruited to a team called the Avengers. They call us Earth’s mightiest heroes. We did save New York from aliens so I guess it does have some truth in it.’

‘So you’ve got yourself a new team of heroes. I guess some things don’t change.’

‘I guess not.’

‘Are you okay with living in the future?’

‘I’m managing. I feel better now that you’re here. It’s good to have my best friend back.’

‘It’s good to have you back too, Steve. I honestly thought I’d never see you again.’

‘You’re from this time period, aren’t you?’

‘Yes. I see your skills of deduction haven’t suffered from being in the ice for practically a lifetime.’

‘What’s your story then? How’d you end up in the 40s?’

Helen looked down in embarrassment. ‘It’s stupid really.’

‘It’s not. However you came to the past I’m grateful because I got to meet you.’

Helen smiled slightly. ‘I’m glad I met you too.’

‘So how’d you end up so far in the past?’

‘I wished upon a star. It was a year ago and I was feeling a bit depressed and couldn’t sleep. So I decided to wish upon a star. I never expected anything to come from it. I just wanted to make myself feel better.’

‘What was your wish?’ Steve asked curiously.

‘To find true love and happiness.’

‘You certainly found that.’

‘Yeah. I really did.’ Helen said with a sad smile.

‘So, when you, uh, died, was that when you returned to this time?’

‘Yeah. I was so upset. I didn’t get the chance to even marry Bucky. I thought it wasn’t fair that my wish didn’t completely come true.’

‘Do you know what happened to him?’

‘Yeah. I read about what happened when I read about your little trip into the ice.’

‘I’m so sorry, Helen.’

‘It wasn’t your fault, Steve.’

‘Yes, it was. If I had got to him sooner then he wouldn’t have fell.’

‘Steve, you can’t blame yourself. You did everything you could to try and save Bucky. Sometimes things happen that we can’t stop no matter how hard we try. It’s not your fault that it happened, Steve.’

‘I know. I just feel so guilty.’

‘Don’t do that to yourself, Steve. You can’t let it consume you. There was nothing more you could have done. You need to let go of the blame you put on yourself and accept that what happened to Bucky wasn’t your doing.’

‘You always gave me the best advice.’

‘I’ve been through something similar so I know what I’m talking about.’

‘The student you saw murdered?’

‘Among other things.’

‘I won’t ask. You’ll tell me when you’re ready.’

‘Thanks, Steve. I’m glad we found each other again.’

‘So am I.’

‘Have you found out what happened to the others?’

‘SHIELD gave me files on everyone. All of them had happy lives though most are dead.’

‘What about Peggy?’

‘She’s still alive.’

‘That’s good.’ Helen said slowly.

‘She’s married.’  
  


  
‘I figured. She couldn’t have waited all this time for you. She thought you were dead. You can’t blame her for moving on.’

‘I know. I just...’

‘Just what?’

‘It’s a reminder of everything I could have had but missed out on.’

‘Maybe you and Peggy were never meant to be. This could be your second chance.’

‘I guess so.’

‘Did you ever ask her out?’

‘No.’

‘What? Steve! I thought we talked about this.’

‘I know. I just kept getting nervous and then you died and everything went wrong. Bucky was a mess and Peggy was grieving you too.’

‘Did you ever think that getting asked out by you might have cheered Peggy up?’ Helen asked, ignoring the mention of how Bucky was after she left.

‘I never thought of it like that.’

‘Of course you didn’t. You really were hopeless when it came to women.’

‘I know.’

‘Was.. was Bucky really that upset about me dying?’

‘Of course he was, Helen. He loved you more than anything.’

‘I didn’t want him to suffer because of me.’

‘You were the love of his life. That’s why he was so upset.’

‘I know. I feel something similar right now.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. You and Bucky deserved to have a happy ending.’

‘I miss him so much.’

‘I know. I do too but we’ll get through this together.’

‘Thanks, Steve. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

Steve smiled at this. ‘Right back at you.’

‘How long was it? Did he die not long after I did?’

‘Yeah. It was a few months after.’

‘I’m so sorry, Steve. It must have been awful having to see him die.’

‘It was. I thought I’d lost both of you and I was so devastated. But now I have you back so I didn’t lose everything I loved.’

‘I love you too, Steve. You’re my best friend.’

‘You’re mine too and I love you like one.’

‘Me too.’

‘Are you here alone?’

‘No, I came with my two best friends. Well, my other best friends.’

‘The ones you told me about?’

‘Yeah. Ron and Hermione. They surprised me with this trip. I think they thought it would be good for me. I didn’t believe them until I saw you.’

‘They sound amazing. It’s nice that they’d look out for you like that.’

‘They’ve always been there for me. They’re kind of like what Bucky was to you.’

‘I’m glad you have them then.’

‘Me too. They’re the best.’

‘They sure sound like it.’

‘Would you like to meet them?’

‘Would they like to meet me?’

‘Of course they would.’

‘Then I’d be honoured to meet them.’

‘I think they’re on a date right now but they should be back soon.’

‘I didn’t know they went out with each other.’

‘Yeah. They’ve been dating for four years now.’

‘Wow. Any sign of a proposal?’

‘I don’t know. Ron hasn’t mentioned anything to me.’

‘Maybe they don’t want to get engaged while you’re mourning Bucky. Maybe they think it would be too much for you.’

‘Maybe. But the truth is, I’d love it if they got engaged. Just because I don’t get my happy ending doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t.’

‘That’s very noble of you.’

‘I get that a lot.’

‘I imagine you would. You’re a very selfless person, Helen. You made Bucky continue to fight after he told you he’d quit to be with you. Most people would take that opportunity but you didn’t. You sacrificed precious time you could have spent together for the greater good. I really admire you for that.’

‘Captain America? Admiring me? Oh, I’m blushing.’

‘Hey, stop that. I’ll always just be Steve Rogers to you.’

‘You’re both to me. You were born to be Captain America. You were always destined to be a hero. I always knew it.’

‘Thanks, Helen. Thank you for believing in me when no one else would.’

‘You don’t have to thank me, Steve. It’s what best friends do.’

‘I agree and as one of your best friends I’m going to help you get through life without Bucky.’

‘Steve, you don’t have to do that.’

‘I know I don’t have to. I’m doing it because I want to.’

‘Thank you, Steve, but I think that this is something I have to get through on my own.’

‘No, I don’t think it is. You need support from those who love you in order to get through this. You can’t do this alone.’

‘You still don’t have to, Steve. I’ve got Ron and Hermione to help me cope with Bucky’s loss. You’re still grieving him yourself. You don’t need my grief on top of that.’

‘Hey, I told you that we’d get through this together and I meant it. We’ll miss Bucky together and we’ll cry for Bucky together.’

‘I never stopped loving him, you know. This past year my heart has only belonged to him. There’s been no one else and they’ll never will be.’

‘I know and he said the same about you. Not long after you died he said to me that he would always love you and he’d never be with anyone else.’

‘I wish he was here now.’

‘I know and I wish he was here too. For your sake more than mine. I can see how much being apart from him has affected you. There’s a dullness in your eyes that was never there even when Bucky was off to war.’

‘I fully admit that I haven’t been handling it well.’

‘I don’t blame you. Losing the love of your life, I can’t imagine how much that hurts. I saw it with Bucky and it kills me to see you suffering the way he did.’

‘I don’t know if I ever will stop suffering from this.’

‘I wish I could make you stop looking so defeated and broken. But I don’t know how.’

‘Unless you can find a way to bring Bucky back.’

‘I would if I could.’

‘I know you would.’

‘I have a question though.’

‘What is it?’

‘You didn’t actually die, did you? I know it’s a stupid question but I just have to make sure.’

‘No, I didn’t actually die. I did get very sick though. That part was real but when I supposedly died I just woke up in my own bed back in my own time.’

‘You seem a little younger. Is it just my imagination?’

Helen chuckled. ‘No, it’s not your imagination, Steve. The reason I seem younger is because I am younger than the last time I saw you. When I travelled back to my own time only a day had passed so I went back to the age I was when I made the wish. 21. Of course a year has passed so I’m 22 now but still.’

‘Wow. That is mind boggling.’

‘It really is. It took me a while to get my head around the fact that I was 21 instead of 24.’

‘Was it weird to be back in your own time?’

‘A little. How would you feel if you had gotten settled here in the future and fell in love here and then you were forced back to the 40s?’

‘I’d feel heartbroken and confused.’

‘You got it in one.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen. That can’t have been easy.’

‘It wasn’t but I’m fine now.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I’m sure. I have a question for you now though.’

‘What is it?’

‘Are you ever going to visit Peggy?’

Steve sighed sadly. ‘No, I don’t think I will.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s just too hard. I look exactly the same as I was when we last saw each other but she’s aged sixty years. I don’t know if I can face it.’

‘Steve, you need to get closure on that part of your life. It would be good for you if you talked to Peggy. Maybe then you’d finally be able to move on from her.’

‘I don’t know if I can.’

‘Then don’t go now but it would be good if someday you did go.’

‘Will you come with me if I ever do?’

‘Of course I will, Steve.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘You’re welcome, Steve. Now, are you ready to meet Ron and Hermione?’

‘Hell yes I am. I’m more than ready to meet the two people who are always there for you.’

‘Let’s go then.’

‘I’m coming.’

‘Oh but before we go I should probably tell you my name isn’t Helen Evans.’

‘What is your real name?’

‘Helen Potter.’

‘Why didn’t you tell us that?’

‘Because I wanted for once in my life to not be Helen Potter.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘In my community I’m kind of famous.’

‘Oh, I get it. It was nice not to have the pressure of your last name for once.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Why did you choose the name Evans?’

‘It’s my mother’s maiden name.’

‘Ah.’

‘This doesn’t change anything between us, doesn’t it?’

‘No, it doesn’t. You’re still my best friend. Whether you’re Helen Potter or Helen Evans, you’re still the best friend who stuck by my side through thick and thin.’

‘Thank you.’

‘It’s no problem.’

‘You’re a good man, Steve Rogers.’

‘And you’re a good woman, Helen Potter.’

‘You’re sweet. Now let’s go.’

‘Lead the way, Miss Potter.’

Twenty minutes later Helen and Steve arrived at the hotel she was staying in and were heading up to her hotel room. Ron and Hermione were already in the room when she opened the door; Ron was taking a nap and Hermione was reading a book.

‘Hey, ‘Mione.’

‘Hello, Helen. How was your walk?’

‘It was good.’

‘Are you sure you’re okay? You were gone for a while.’

‘I’m fine, Hermione. I just needed some time.’

‘Are you feeling better?’

‘A little.’

‘You look happy for some reason. Which is strange because you left here feeling depressed.’

Helen grinned. ‘I can’t hide anything from you, can I?’

‘No, you can’t. Now please tell me what’s got you so giddy.’

‘I’m not giddy, Hermione.’

‘Alright then. Please tell me why you’re so happy.’

‘I met someone from my past.’

‘Your time travelling past?’

‘Yes.’

‘Who was it?’

‘Steve.’

‘Steve Rogers? The guy who was Captain America and crashed a plane into the Artic? That Steve?’

‘Yes. That Steve.’

‘How is he even alive?’

‘The serum prevented him from dying.’

‘I’ll take your word for it. Where is he anyway?’

‘He’s waiting outside. I wanted to make sure you and Ron were both in. Speaking of which, can you please wake your lazy boyfriend up?’

‘With pleasure.’

Hermione walked over to the bed that Ron was currently passed out on and gently slapped him awake.

‘Bloody hell, Hermione! Warn a bloke next time.’

‘Helen’s got something important she wants to talk about.’

Ron looked more awake now as he turned his gaze to Helen. ‘What is it mate?’

‘I’ve got someone with me that I’d like you both to meet.’

‘Who?’ Ron asked confused.

‘Remember how I told you about Bucky’s friend Steve?’

‘Yes, of course I do.’

‘Well, he’s the person I want you to meet.’

‘I thought you said he was dead.’

‘It turns out he didn’t die. He just was taking a very long nap.’

‘In the ocean?’

‘In a block of ice actually.’

‘How does that work?’

‘The serum.’

‘Can I get some of this serum? If it prevents you from getting hypothermia for seventy years then I’d like some.’

‘You’re out of luck, Ron. Steve got the only sample of it.’

‘Damn it.’

‘Stop it you.’

‘Alright. So where is this Steve?’

‘He’s waiting outside.’

‘Then tell him to come in.’

‘Steve! Come in!’

Steve entered the room a few moments later and smiled shyly at Ron and Hermione. ‘Pleased to meet you both. Helen’s told me a lot about you.’

‘Same with you, pal. I’m Ron Weasley.’

‘Steve Rogers.’

‘It’s nice to finally meet you, Steve. Helen’s been telling us about you for over a year now. It’s great to actually see you in person.’

‘Likewise.’

‘I’m Hermione Granger by the way.’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Miss Granger.’

‘Oh, Hermione, please. Any friend of Helen’s is a friend of mine.’

‘Okay. Helen tells me that you’re in a relationship with Mr Weasley.’

Ron pointed a finger in Steve’s direction. ‘Oh no. Don’t start with that. Mr Weasley is my father. Call me Ron.’

‘Only if you call me Steve.’

‘Deal.’

‘Would you like something to drink, Steve?’ Hermione asked.

‘Oh, no thank you.’

‘I’m glad Helen found you, Steve. She was so sad before she met you again.’ Ron said, smiling widely at Steve.

‘Ron!’ Helen said, blushing in embarrassment.

‘I’m glad she found me too. I was so lost before I bumped into her. I don’t know what I’d do without her here.’

‘Thanks, Steve.’

‘No problem,Helen. It’s nice to finally meet your friends.’

‘We’re glad to meet you too, Steve.’

Helen smiled with joy as her three best friends got to know each other better. It was everything she had ever wanted. The two half of her worlds uniting into one. The only thing missing was Bucky but other than that her world was finally complete.


	8. Meeting The Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen continues to reconnect with Steve and meets the Avengers along the way.

* * *

  
A few days had passed since Helen had reconnected with Steve and she was feeling better than she had in a long time. Ron and Hermione were thrilled that she was so much happier than she was before she came to New York and Helen was too. She was so tired of being depressed and sad. It was nice to actually be happy for once.

It was a genuine miracle to have Steve in her life again. It was a little funny how they looked almost exactly the same as they did in the 40s but Helen wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If the universe decided to give her Steve back then there was no way she’d complain. But sometimes she wished that the universe decided to give her Bucky back as well. Steve was her best friend and she loved him like a brother. But he wasn’t Bucky. Bucky was everything to her. The love of her life, her greatest supporter, her best friend and her fiancé. There was just no one compared to him and she just wasn’t allowed to have him anymore.

But although she was upset about Bucky not being here it didn’t mean that she wasn’t grateful for the people she had in her life right now. She didn’t know what she would do without Ron, Hermione and Steve. They were her rocks, the wind beneath her wings. She needed them in her life just as much as she needed Bucky and she was thankful that the universe hadn’t decided to be completely cruel and take all four of them away from her. If that happened then she’d truly be lost.

Having Steve in her life again made coping with Bucky’s loss far easier than it had been before. Ron and Hermione were understanding and supportive but they didn’t know Bucky. They hadn’t even met him so they couldn’t understand how much of a loss he was. But Steve did. Steve had known Bucky practically his whole life so he understood the gut wrenching pain his absence caused. It was comforting to know that someone else was going through the exact same thing that you were and it helped to hear from Steve that Bucky’s death was likely quick so there was little chance of him suffering.

Helen was enjoying life in New York. It was so different from her life back home and a part of her revelled in that. Of course she was always going to love living in England. Almost everyone she loved lived there, how could she not? But the longer she stayed in New York the more she found herself wishing she could stay forever.

She didn’t know what it was about the place. Perhaps it was because it was close to Brooklyn where she had first met Bucky or perhaps it was because Steve was living here now. Maybe it was a combination of both. Whatever the reason Helen found herself dreading the day that she’d have to leave New York and go back home.

Another thing she was dreading was having to tell Steve that she would be leaving soon. The blond looked so happy when they were together and he repeatedly told her that she was the only thing that stopped him from going insane. She really didn’t want to have to upset him by telling him she had to go. And the worst part was, she didn’t even know if she could come back. She had practically no time off from work. This three week trip was the only time off that she could afford this year. How was she supposed to tell Steve that she wouldn’t be able to come and visit him until next year? It would crush him and she couldn’t bear to do that to him. He meant too much to her for her to hurt him like that.

Speaking of the blond super soldier she was due to have lunch with him in ten minutes. The two of them had a lunch date scheduled everyday so they could catch up and Helen didn’t want to miss them. Talking to Steve was the only thing that made her feel both calm and normal right now.  
  


Steve was already sitting at a table when she walked into the small cafe they agreed to meet it. He smiled and waved when he spotted her and Helen gave a little smile and wave back before sitting down in front of him.

‘Hey, Helen.’

‘Hey, Steve.’

‘Glad you could make it.’

‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’

‘Me neither.’

‘So what have you been up to since I saw you last?’

‘Nothing much.’

‘Are you getting along with your teammates?’

‘Yeah, we all get along fine.’

‘Then why don’t you hang out with them?’

‘Who says I don’t?’

‘If you did then you would have told me about it instead of saying nothing much when I asked what you’ve been doing.’

Steve sighed in defeat. ‘Fine, you caught me. We don’t really hang out that much.’

‘Why not? You guys are a team. You need to spend at least some time together if you’re going to be an effective and efficient team.’

‘I don’t know. We do pretty well on missions without hanging out.’

‘Why did you and Bucky make such a good team when you were in the Commandos together?’

‘Because Bucky was a great sniper and I could punch my way through anything.’

‘No, that’s not the reason, Steve. The reason is that you were best friends. You knew each other so well that it translated into the field of battle. You and Bucky could predict each other’s next move so you could easily back the other up if you needed to.’

‘I never thought about it like that.’

‘Maybe you should, Steve. A team whose members don’t know a thing about the other doesn’t a good team. It makes a disastrous one.’

‘But I’ve never actually hung out with any of them outside of missions.’

‘You don’t have to be best friends all of a sudden. You just have to know each other well enough to be an effective team. Learn your teammates’ strengths and weaknesses, their fears, their likes and dislikes. Just having that information can make you work better together.’

‘Thanks, Helen. You always know exactly what to say.’

‘I try. So what are your teammates like anyway?’

‘Well, there’s five of us. Clint and Natasha are SHIELD agents, that’s the organisation that runs the Avengers. They’re basically master spies.’

‘They sound interesting.’

‘They are. Natasha’s a little scary but she’s amazing at what she does.’

Helen smiled a little. ‘I like the sound of her. What’s Clint like?’

‘A little sarcastic and goofy but brilliant at what he does. He’s a master archer. He hardly ever misses a shot.’

Helen’s eyes widened slightly. This Clint sounded amazing. ‘Impressive. Who else is there?’

‘Bruce. He’s a doctor and a scientist. Really smart guy. But he had an issue with gamma radiation and he now turns into a big green monster whenever he gets angry. It’s super handy in battle but not so great outside of it.’

‘Ouch. Poor guy.’ Helen said in sympathy.

‘Yeah. I feel for him.’

‘Who else is there?’

‘Thor. He’s a demigod. You know, the actual god Thor from the mythology. That’s him.’

‘I believe you. Nothing surprises me anymore.’ Helen said with a rueful chuckle.

‘I don’t doubt it. They said time travel was impossible but you did it. Norse Gods being real isn’t that farfetched after that.’

‘No, it’s not. So, what’s Thor like?’

‘He’s a really sweet guy. Lovable and goofy. A little naive but a great teammate.’

‘He sounds great. And the last person?’

‘Tony. He’s this genius billionaire type. He’s actually Howard’s son.’

‘Wow. Do they look alike?’

‘You can definitely see the resemblance.’

‘What’s he like? Tony, I mean.’

‘He’s a little flashy and loud but he’s a good guy.’

‘I’d really like to meet them.’

‘I can arrange that, you know.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. You’re my best friend. I think I can manage to introduce you to my teammates.’

‘Thanks, Steve. Is it okay if Ron and Hermione come too?’

‘Of course.’

‘I’ll talk to them about it tonight.’

‘I can take you three tomorrow if that’s okay.’

‘Yes.’

‘What are Ron and Hermione up to today?’

‘They’re doing some sightseeing.’

‘Why aren’t you going with them?’

‘I didn’t really come here to sightsee, Steve. I came here to find out what happened to you and Bucky.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry that you got such a terrible answer with Bucky.’

‘It’s okay, Steve.’

‘I just don’t think it’s fair that you and Buck have been ripped apart like this.’

‘I know. I’ve felt the exact same thing a lot over the past year.’

‘It’s just not right, Helen. Why would your wish only come half true? Why did it just cut off when you were just starting your lives together?’

‘I don’t know, Steve. But they say that these things happen for a reason.’

‘And what is the reason behind separating you and Bucky? For you to be miserable for the rest of your life?’

‘Maybe one day I’ll see Bucky again.’

‘I don’t think he would have survived that fall.’

‘Hermione thinks that my journey into the past was only half of the wish being fulfilled. The other half will get fulfilled in the future.’

‘I hope that she’s right.’

Helen sighed, running a hand through her hair. ‘She usually is but I think that this time she’s wrong.’

‘I don’t want to believe that fate would be so cruel to you, Helen. You’re such a good and kind person. This can’t be your future.’

‘Maybe it is.’

‘No, Helen. I refuse to believe that and I will drag Bucky back from the dead if I have to. I will not let you be miserable for the rest of your life.’

‘I don’t think you can bring people back from the dead but I appreciate the sentiment.’

‘If I ever get the chance to bring him back to you then I will. I’ll do everything in my power to reunite him with you. I promise.’

‘I don’t think you’ll ever have to do so but thanks anyway.’

‘I wish more than anything that one day I’ll have to bring him back.’

‘Maybe you should wish upon a star.’ Helen joked.

‘If that’s what it takes then I will.’

‘Good luck with that. I still don’t know how my wish came true.’

‘Because you deserved it.’

‘We all deserve happiness, don’t we?’

‘Yes but you most of all.’

‘How did you figure that out?’

‘You’re the most selfless person I know. If anyone deserves to have a happily ever after then it’s you.’

‘Thanks, Steve. That’s really sweet of you to say.’

‘I’m just stating the truth.’

‘You’re pretty selfless too, you know. You deserve a happily ever after as much as me.’

‘I don’t know. I’m still not over Peggy yet.’

‘You know what to do to get over her but you won’t do it.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Yes you can, Steve. You need the closure. Once you see what Peggy looks like now then you’ll realise that what you could have had just isn’t possible anymore. And then you can finally move on.’

‘You make it sound so simple.’

‘Because it is, Steve. Yes, it’s going to hurt seeing the woman you envisioned a future with all married and old but you need to do it. Peggy managed to move on. Now you need to do the same.’

‘I guess so.’

‘One day you’ll be ready, Steve.’

‘I hope so. It would be nice to see her again.’

‘I’m sure she’d like to see you too.’

‘You’ll still come with me, won’t you?’

‘Of course I will. You just tell me when you’re ready and I’ll be there.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘Don’t mention it. It’s what best friends do, right?’

‘Right.’

‘I’ll be okay, Steve. I won’t spend every day suffering because I’ve lost Bucky. I have a good life. I’ll be fine.’

‘I don’t want you to be fine. I want you to be happy.’

‘I am happy, Steve. I have a great job and amazing friends.’

‘But that’s not enough, is it?’

‘No it isn’t but it will have to be.’

‘It shouldn’t have to be. You and Bucky should be together right now.’

‘But we’re not.’

‘It’s not fair that you have to be apart like this.’

‘Sometimes life isn’t fair.’

‘I hate that. Life shouldn’t be fair to a bad person but it shouldn’t take it out on a good person. Good people deserve life to be fair to them. It’s just not right. You’re the best person I know. This shouldn’t have happened to you.’

‘But it has happened and we just have to accept that. Bucky isn’t ever going to come back and we’ll just have to deal with it as best we can.’

‘I can’t stand that this is happening to you. You don’t deserve this.’

‘Maybe I do.’

‘NO! You do NOT deserve this. You are a good person, Helen. This shouldn’t have happened to you and I’m so sorry that I can’t fix it.’

‘Don’t be sorry, Steve. None of this was your fault.’

‘It wasn’t yours either.’

‘I know but it’s my burden.’

‘You don’t have to do it alone. I told you I’d be there for you.’

‘I know and I’m so glad you’re here.’

‘Me too. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

‘I’m sure you’d cope.’

‘But I wouldn’t really be happy. I wouldn’t have my best friend.’

‘I’ll always be here for you, Steve.’

‘And I’ll always be here for you, Helen.’

‘Are you feeling better about being in the future?’

‘I am. I think I’ve finally accepted that I’ll never be able to go back.’

‘That’s good, Steve.’

‘I’m glad I’m here anyway. I would have never got to see you again if I’d stayed in my own time.’

‘I’m glad too.’

Steve glanced at his watch and sighed. ‘I have to go now, Helen. I’ve got a meeting in ten minutes.’

‘Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.’

‘See you tomorrow, Helen.’

The next day Helen led Ron and Hermione to the cafe that she usually met Steve in. Steve would meet them there for a coffee and then would take them to Stark Tower where the Avengers were afterwards.

‘Hey, Steve.’ Helen greeted as she, Ron and Hermione sat down beside him.

‘Hey, Helen. It’s nice to see you again, Ron, Hermione.’

‘You too.

‘I’m excited to meet these Avengers. From what Helen told us they sound badass.’

‘Ron, would you calm down? We’re having coffee first.’

‘I know, ‘Mione. I’m just saying that I’m excited that’s all.’

‘Just be patient, Ronald.’

‘I can see why they’re dating.’ Steve said to Helen while Ron and Hermione playfully argued.

‘Yeah, they’re always like that. But they really love each other.’

‘I can tell.’

‘They’ll be done in a few minutes.’

‘I don’t mind. It’s nice to see a couple so in love. I haven’t seen that since you and Bucky.’

‘Yeah, I love seeing them. It reminds me that good things still happen in this world.’

‘I thought it would be hard for you to see your best friends so happy when you’re missing Bucky.’

‘No, I’ve wanted them to get together years before they actually did. Besides they were together way before I met Bucky.’

‘Would you still be happy if they got married?’

‘Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘I just thought seeing your best friends have something that you can’t would upset you.’

‘I don’t care if it kills me to see them get married. I’ll stand by their side while they do it. They’re my best friends and they deserve to be happy.’

‘Still so selfless.’

‘Oh, Helen sure is selfless alright.’ Ron said after he and Hermione had stopped their playful argument.

‘Stop it, Ron.’

‘I’m just giving you a compliment, mate. You always put others before yourself and it’s so admirable.’

‘Thanks, Ron.’

‘So, tell me about these Avengers. Do they have code names like you with Captain America?’

‘They do.’

‘Tell me them.’

‘Ron, I think they could tell you themselves when we go see them.’

‘But I want to know now.’

‘Oh, Ronald.’

‘I just want to know their code names so I can give them the proper respect they deserve.’

‘They’re not royalty, Ronald.’

‘Yeah but they are heroes and that’s much better than being royalty.’

‘Just tell him, Steve. He’s too impatient to wait any longer.’

‘Okay. Clint’s Hawkeye, Bruce is Hulk, Thor is just Thor, Natasha is Black Widow and Tony is Iron Man.’

‘Those are awesome names.’

Helen nodded in agreement. ‘I like the name Black Widow. It’s mysterious and dangerous at the same time.’

‘I think you’ll like Natasha, Helen. She reminds me a lot of you. I’m sure you’ll get on great.’

‘I can’t wait to meet her then.’

‘I want to meet the Hulk. The name implies he’s badass.’

‘Hulk refers to Bruce’s other form, Ron. He looks like a normal guy when he’s not angry.’

‘What’s he like when he’s angry?’ Hermione asked.

‘He turns into a huge green monster.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yeah, it really is something. I can’t describe how I felt when I first saw him transformed.’

‘He only transforms in battle though, right?’

‘Usually, yes. But don’t worry, Bruce is in a good mood from what I’ve heard.’

‘That’s good.’

‘It is. Are you ready to go meet them now?’

‘Yes, we are. Lead the way, Steve.’

Twenty minutes later the tower was in sight and Helen grinned at the thought of meeting the Avengers. If Steve trusted and liked them then they had to be good people. And the way Steve had described them only made Helen want to meet them more. They sounded amazing and badass. She was sure she’d like all of them and it would be nice to have more friends in New York.

Steve led them into an elevator and after a few minutes it opened onto a large floor. A large couch took up the middle of the room with a huge TV screen in front of it. It also had a kitchen area a few feet away.

‘What kind of room is this?’ Helen asked.

‘It’s the Common Floor. It’s where we all hang out and eat together.’

‘I thought you said you didn’t hang out with them?’

‘Well, I don’t usually. But that’s what this floor was designed for.’

‘Cool. Where is everyone?’

‘Probably in their rooms. I’ll call them to come.’

Ten minutes later the five Avengers entered the floor. They all looked confused as to why Steve had asked them to come but some of that confusion soon cleared when they saw that Steve had company.’

‘Hey, Cap. What’s going on?’

‘I’d like to introduce you all to some friends of mine. Everyone, this is Helen, Ron and Hermione.’

The tall blond, which Helen assumes was Thor, came over to greet them first. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Friends of Steve. I am Thor.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Thor.’ Helen said, shaking his hand.

‘Likewise, Lady Helen.’

‘No, it’s just Helen.’

‘If you say so.’

A man with dark blond hair came up next as Thor went off to greet Ron and Hermione. ‘Clint Barton.’

‘Helen Potter.’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Helen. Any friend of Cap’s is a friend of mine.’

‘Thank you, Clint. I’m pleased to meet you as well.’

‘How do you know Steve?’

‘Just bumped into him one day and we started talking.’

‘You guys seem close.’

‘We’re just friends.’

‘I didn’t think you were more than that.’

‘You think we’ve known each other longer than a few months?’

‘You just seem really close. Like you’ve known each other for years.’

‘Maybe we have.’

Clint grinned at her. ‘I like you.’

‘Right back at you.’

Clint gave her one last smile before turning his attention to Ron and Hermione.

Just as Helen was about to turn and talk to Steve a dark haired man with glasses shyly came over.

‘Hello.’

Helen smiled at him reassuringly. ‘Hello. I’m Helen.’

‘Bruce Banner.’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Bruce. I hope we can become friends.’

‘It’s nice to meet you too and I’d like it if we became friends.’

‘I’m glad.’

‘Bruce, stop hogging her. I need a female friend.’ A red haired woman, who could only be Natasha, said.

‘I wasn’t but I’ll let you girls talk anyway.’

‘Hi, I’m Natasha.’ She greeted after Bruce had left.

‘Helen.’

‘It’s nice to meet you. I’m glad to have more women around here. The place is filled with too much testosterone.’

‘I know the feeling.’

‘So, you wanna move in here?’

‘I’m only on holiday here but sure.’

‘Great.’

‘Hey, Widow. Don’t hog the pretty lady.’

‘Can it, Stark. I’m talking with my new friend here.’

‘There’s another girl over there that you can be friends with. I wanna talk to Cap’s girlfriend.’

‘I’m not Steve’s girlfriend.’

‘Don’t tell me a beautiful girl like you is single.’

‘Yeah, you’re definitely Howard’s son.’

‘What?’

‘I’m Helen. Helen Potter.’

‘Hello, Helen. I’m Tony. Tony Stark.’

‘Nice to meet you, Tony.’

‘Likewise.’

‘So, how’d you meet Cap?’

‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’

‘I would. But what I’d really like to know is why you look so much like Helen Evans?’

‘Who’s Helen Evans?’

‘She was a close friend of Peggy Carter and my father. She was also Captain America’s best friend and Bucky Barnes’ fiancée.’

‘Never heard of her.’

‘Really? Hey Cap, come over here a sec!’

‘What is it, Tony?’ Steve asked with an annoyed sigh.

‘You remember Helen Evans, don’t you?’

‘Of course I do, Tony.’

‘Then can you tell me why you befriended a woman who looks exactly like her?’

‘Huh. I never noticed.’

‘You’re a shit liar, Cap.’

‘What makes you think I’m lying?’

‘It’s obvious you are, Capsicle. Now spill it.’

‘Spill what?’

Tony sighed. ‘Tell us why your new friend looks so much like your old best friend.’

‘She doesn’t look anything like Bucky.’

‘I see being frozen in the ice didn’t make you lose your sense of humour.’

‘I guess not.’

‘Come on, Rogers! Tell the truth.’

At this point everyone in the room was listening in, eyeing the conversation with unmasked curiosity.

‘It’s not my story to tell.’

‘Come on, Steve. Just tell us.’ Natasha encouraged.

‘It’s okay, Stevie. You can tell them.’

‘Are you sure, Helen?’

‘The truth will come out one day. It’s better if we just tell them now.’

‘Okay.’

‘We’re waiting, Capsicle.’

‘Helen Potter and Helen Evans are the same person.’ Steve said eventually.

‘I knew it!’ Tony exclaimed.

‘How did you know? For all you knew I was just her doppelgänger.’

‘I thought that when you first came in but then I spotted the ring on your finger. It’s the exact same as Helen Evans’ engagement ring. I knew then that there was no way that it was a coincidence that you looked exactly like her.’

‘How did you know what the engagement ring looked like?’

‘My dad had a photo of you and Peggy. You can see the engagement ring quite clearly in it.’

‘Well, I have to give you brownie points for figuring it all out. Most people would think that it was all just a coincidence.’

‘Not me. I sort of believe in the impossible.’

‘Then I suppose you’ll believe me when I say that time travel is possible.’

‘ _That_ I was not expecting. How did you manage it?’

‘I wished upon a star and for some reason it came true.’

‘What was your wish?’

‘To find true love and happiness.’

‘I guess Barnes fulfilled all that then.’

‘Yeah. He definitely did.’

‘I didn’t know wishing on a star actually worked. I might try that myself.’

‘The reason you didn’t know is because all your wishes are stupid and not worthy of coming true, Clint.’

‘That hurt, Nat.’

‘Wishing for the world’s largest corn dog is a stupid wish.’

‘Says you.’

‘Says everyone.’

‘Clint, stop being childish and let Helen tell the story of how she ended up in the 1940s.’

‘First Nat and now you Cap. I’m facing all kinds of blows today.’ Clint complained but soon shut up when Natasha elbowed him harshly in the ribs.

‘As I was saying I made the wish and went to bed thinking that it wouldn’t come true. The next thing I know I get this feeling of being sucked through a small hole and the sensation of falling through the air. I end up landing on cold concrete and at first I assume that I’ve just fallen out the window or something. Then I meet the lady who owned the local florist and after talking to her I realised that it was 1941.’

‘Wow. That’s gotta be rough.’ Tony said sympathetically.

‘It was but I managed to get through the whole thing without freaking out too much.’

‘How did you end up meeting Steve?’ Natasha asked.

‘The lady at the florist gave me some spare clothes that her daughter left and once I was dressed appropriately for the time period I decided to take a walk around the streets of Brooklyn. As I was walking I heard painful screams coming from one of the alleys. Thinking that someone might be hurt I rush to find the source of the noise. Only to find pre-serum Steve getting beat up by a big brute. I try to tell the guy to leave him alone but of course he only knows how to talk through his fists so he goes to grab me. And- and that’s when Bucky came and intervened. He sent the guy running after punching him. Then they both thanked me and once they found out that I didn’t have a place to stay they invited me to stay at their apartment. I agreed and the rest is history, I suppose.’

‘Wow. What a story.’

‘I’ll say.’ Natasha echoed, agreeing with Clint’s statement.

‘I want to clear up one thing though.’

‘Of course. What is it, Tony?’

‘When you died of pneumonia, you didn’t actually die, right? That was just the universe’s way of sending you back to your own time without causing suspicion.’

‘Yes, that is all correct.’

‘Did you actually have pneumonia?’

‘I did and it was awful.’

‘Geez and without modern medicine too. I feel for you, kid.’

‘I’m 22.’

‘You’re still much younger than me even if you are an adult.’

‘I actually have a question.’ Natasha said.

‘Ask away.’

‘Your true love is Steve’s friend Bucky, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘So, there’s no romantic relationship between you and Steve?’

‘No.’

‘Good to know.’

‘Good to know what?’

‘That Captain America is single.’

‘Yes, I’m sure the fan girls all across America are squealing in delight at the thought.’ Helen said with a giggle.

‘I’m not going out with any fan girls.’

‘Don’t worry, Cap. We won’t set you up with any of the crazy ones.’

‘Aren’t they all crazy?’

‘Steve, that’s terrible! Stop calling your fans crazy. They adore and admire you and this is what they get in return. You slandering them?’

‘I’d just prefer to not be mauled by obsessed fans.’

‘You’re a super soldier, Capsicle. I’m pretty sure you can’t be mauled by anyone unless it’s Thor or the Hulk.’

‘Don’t worry, Steve. You have the Avengers to protect you now.’

‘I don’t know why I said I missed you. All you and Bucky ever did was make my life a living hell.’

‘That’s a lie and you know it.’

‘Captain America never lies.’

‘Captain America just did.’

‘No, that was Steve Rogers.’

‘You’re the same person. When Steve Rogers lies Captain America lies.’

‘I hate it when you’re right.’

‘No, you hated it when Bucky was right because he would lord it over you for weeks. You liked it when I was right because it helped you.’

‘How is you calling me a liar helping me?’

‘By pointing out your flaws I’m helping you become a better person.’

‘God, I missed you. I’m so glad you’re not dead.’

‘Right back at you, Captain Rogers.’


	9. A Not So Secret Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen finds out that Steve and Tony have crushes on each other and resolves to get them together.

* * *

  
Two days had passed since Helen had met the Avengers and she was really enjoying getting to know all of them. As Steve had predicted she and Natasha got on like a house on fire and had already formed quite a close bond. She had also become close with both Tony and Clint. Both were hilarious and gave off a big brotherly vibe and Helen just felt an instant connection with them. It was easy to like Thor and she had developed a friendly relationship with him though it was not as close as her relationship with the others were. Bruce was a little harder to get to know since he was so withdrawn due to his fear of the Hulk hurting someone. However the conversations she had with him were pleasant and she’d say that they were slowly developing a friendship.

Ron and Hermione were enjoying getting to know the Avengers as well. Ron had instantly developed a close friendship with Clint and Thor due to their innate goofiness and tendency to joke around. Meanwhile Hermione had bonded with Tony and Bruce over their shared love for all things academic. And though Hermione and Natasha had practically nothing in common they had become good friends.

All in all Helen enjoyed the new friendships that she’d made and continued to enjoy the old ones that she had as well. She was closer than ever with Ron and Hermione and she was slowly building up her friendship with Steve to the level it had been before she was forced back to her own time.

The person she instantly clicked with and bonded with however wasn’t part of the Avengers at all. Helen had truly found her soul sister in Pepper Potts, Tony’s former PA and best friend and CEO of Stark Industries. Helen didn’t know if it was the fact that they were both redheads, though Helen was a more auburnish red compared to Pepper’s strawberry blonde, or the fact that their last names were very similar. But whatever the reason Helen Potter and Pepper Potts became instant best friends. Tony had jokingly nicknamed them the ‘Unholy Redheads’ and dubbed that it was even scarier when Natasha would hang out with them as well.

It was through Pepper that Helen learned some valuable information that she intended to use to her advantage. The two of them were out on a lunch date when Helen asked about Pepper’s relationship with Tony.

‘There’s no romantic feelings going on between you two?’ Helen had asked.

‘Oh, no. It’s nothing like that. We’re just really good friends. Kind of like you and Steve I suppose.’

‘Mm. So Tony isn’t dating anyone then?’

‘No but he does have his eye on someone.’

‘Oh? Do tell.’

‘Promise you won’t tell him that I told you.’

‘I promise.’

‘Okay. Just prepare yourself for this because it’s big.’

‘I’m ready. Tell me who it is.’

‘It’s Steve.’

‘ _Steve_? As in Steve Rogers, Captain America Steve?’ Helen exclaimed in shock.

Pepper gave a little nod. ‘Precisely the one.’

‘Huh. I wasn’t expecting that. I got the impression that Tony didn’t like Steve at all.’

‘He’s like that with the people he has feelings for. He tries to act all mean and distant towards them in hopes that they won’t figure out that he has a crush on them.’

‘How deep do his feelings go? Is it just a little crush or is he madly in love with him?’

‘I’d say he’s leaning towards the second one.’

‘Wow. Poor Tony.’

‘I know. He’s had so many sleepless nights because he fears that Steve will find out and be so disgusted by it that he kicks him off the team.’

‘I don’t think Steve would do that. He’s not a cruel person.’

‘I know that and you know that and deep down Tony knows it too. But... he’s let his insecurities cloud his judgement. If he stopped and really thought about it then he’d know that Steve would never do that but he can’t. He’s too far in to let that fear go. I think he believes that it will actually happen one day.’

‘I can’t imagine how awful he must be feeling.’

‘Until he gets this stupid notion out of his head that Steve’s going to kick him off the team for having a crush on him then I’m afraid he’s always going to be miserable.’

‘Then we have to do something about it.’

‘Believe me I’ve tried. I tried to convince him last week that he should tell Steve that he’s bisexual to see what his reaction would be. Of course I got shut down immediately even after I reminded him that he wouldn’t be telling Steve that he liked him.’

‘I’m pretty sure that Steve’s not homophobic. I mean we never actually talked about it but from what I know about him I’m fairly certain that he’s not.’

‘Even if Tony learns that he isn’t he’s still going to be miserable. If Steve can’t ever return his feelings then Tony will be setting himself up for heartbreak.’

‘I don’t think it’s too far fetched that Steve might return Tony’s feelings.’

‘What do you mean?’

Helen pursed her lips thoughtfully. ‘I’m not saying that Steve definitely is into men. That would be presumptuous of me. What I am saying, however, is that I’ve always got a distinct impression that Steve may not be completely straight. I don’t know why I kept getting this vibe from him but I definitely did. Whenever I saw him interact with other men I got the feeling that he was checking them out. That being said if my suspicions are correct then Steve is in complete denial of it. If he does like men in the romantic sense then he has no idea that he does.’

‘That makes sense. The time period he was from didn’t really accept same sex relationships.’

‘Which is why Steve would likely not know about his feelings for men.’

‘How are you going to figure out if he does like men?’

‘I have my ways. Steve is completely oblivious when it comes to these things so asking subtly won’t be an issue. By the end of the conversation he’ll likely have no clue that I’ve just figured out his sexuality.’

‘And if he is into men, what will you do then?’

‘I’ll see if he has feelings for Tony.’

‘Are you sure that this will work?’

‘Positive. I’ve just texted Natasha and she’s agreed to help. If Steve won’t confess to me then Nat will step in and get the answers. Between the two of us I definitely think we’ll have what we’re looking for.’

‘I’m sure you will.’

‘So what about you? Are you dating anyone?’

‘Not at the moment.’

‘Anyone you’ve got your eye on?’

‘Yes but I think that’s a conversation for another time. Let’s get Tony and Steve’s love lives out of the way before tackling mine.’

‘If you say so.’

‘Don’t worry, Helen. You’ll find out one day.’

‘I better. It’s part of my privileges as your best friend.’

‘As my best friend you’ll be the first to know.’

‘Are you saying that Tony has no idea who you like?’

‘He doesn’t.’

‘How come? You guys have been best friends for ages. I thought he’d be the first person you’ll tell.’

‘I want to tell him but I’m afraid he’ll share it.’

‘I take it he knows the person you have a crush on.’

‘Yes, he does and unlike you he can’t keep his mouth shut when it comes to things like this.’

‘Except when it comes to his own love life.’

‘Yes, that’s true. He likes talking about everyone else’s love lives but when it comes to his own he clams up completely.’

‘I hope Steve does like him. I think they’d be good together.’

‘I know. I thought that too.’

‘Let’s hope that they do get together. Steve deserves to be happy and so does Tony. And if they can make each other happy, well that’s even better.’

‘Both of them are so stubborn. I feel like it would take a miracle for them to realise that they both like each other and start dating.’

‘Then let’s pray for a miracle.’

‘You’re already praying for another one though.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re hoping that Bucky will come back to life and you can live out your lives together. But you know it will take a miracle for that to happen so you don’t let yourself hope too much. However there’s a tiny part of you that desperately wishes that it would happen despite knowing that it’s likely impossible.’

‘You’re good. Are you sure you’re not a qualified therapist?’

‘I’m sure though I think I may be unofficially qualified after dealing with Tony for all these years.’

‘I kind of felt the same with Steve. Before he got the serum he was so insecure and thought he was worthless. I must have spent hours trying to convince him that he wasn’t. I think I would have earned a lot of money from counselling Steve.’

‘Me too. I’d likely be a billionaire if I actually got paid to listen to Tony’s nonsense about how he isn’t good enough.’

‘Those two really are made for each other. I’ll be surprised if they don’t end up together.’

‘Same here.’

Just then Pepper’s phone buzzes with a message and she sighed as she read it.

‘I’m sorry, Helen. I’m going to have to cut our lunch short. I’m needed in a meeting ASAP.’

‘It’s fine, Pepper. Go to your meeting.’

‘Okay. I’ll see you later then.’ Pepper said as she lay down some money.

‘Bye, Pep.’

‘Bye, Helen.’

Ten minutes later Helen was back at the Tower and ready to engage in her plan. She found Steve sitting alone on one of the couches in the common area and quickly sat down next to him.

‘Hey, Steve.’

‘Hey, Helen. How was your lunch with Pepper?’

‘It was good. What have you been up to while I was away.’

‘Just sketching.’

‘What are you drawing?’

‘Random stuff. It’s not important.’

‘You’ll always be important to me, Steve.’

‘Right back at you.’

‘So, have you caught up on your reading yet?’

‘Not yet. I’ve got to the 80s. I think I’m on the Berlin Wall or something.’

‘That’s good. You’re catching up quick.’

‘I’m a fast reader and there’s nothing else for me to do really.’

‘Don’t say that, Steve. You could always hang out with your teammates. Get to know them better like we talked about.’

‘I don’t know. I think I’m still getting used to the fact that I have a new team. I don’t know if I’m ready to be friends with them yet.’

‘It’s been a few months, Steve. It’s high time you got to know them.’

‘I know. It’s just hard, I guess.’

‘Only if you make it that way.’

‘I just don’t think we have anything in common.’

‘You’re all Avengers. You’re all superheroes. You’ve got that in common. Start from there and build it up.’

‘What if they don’t like me?’

‘I think you’d know by now if they hated you.’

‘I’m pretty sure that Tony hates me.’

‘Tony does _not_ hate you.’

‘Yes, he does. He barely speaks to me.’

‘Maybe that’s because you don’t know each other very well.’

‘He’s always glaring at me and he insults me all the time. And he seems to get on with everyone else on the team. I’ve never even got a smile out of him. He definitely hates me.’

‘He does not hate you, Steve.’

‘Yes, he does. Why on earth would he ignore and insult me if he likes me?’

‘Maybe he feels awkward because you knew his father. Maybe he’s afraid that you’ll constantly compare him to his father.’

‘I would never do that.’

‘I’m not saying you would. I’m saying that he’s afraid you might.’

‘Why?’

‘Do you think it’s fun to constantly be compared to your parents? Imagine if people only saw you as their child instead of as your own person. Imagine how awful that must feel. If Tony is afraid you’ll compare him to his father then it’s no wonder he doesn’t talk to you.’

‘I never thought about it like that. But for the record I like Tony much better than I liked Howard and I see him for who he is.’

‘What do you mean you like Tony better?’

‘I just do. He’s so much kinder and smarter than Howard was. He’s perfect and I can understand why he hates me. Why would someone like him want anything to do with someone like me?’

‘Don’t sell yourself short, Steve. You’re perfect the way you are.’

‘Not as perfect as Tony.’

‘That’s twice you’ve called Tony perfect. Why?’

‘I just think he is.’

‘You think someone who hates you is perfect?’

‘I thought you said he didn’t hate me.’

‘He doesn’t. I’m just wondering why you think he’s perfect if you think that he hates you.’

‘He doesn’t have to like me for me to think he’s perfect.’

‘No, I guess not. But why do you think he’s perfect?’

‘He’s just so smart and kind and selfless and beautiful.’

‘Did you just call him beautiful?’

‘I did.’

‘You really think he’s beautiful?’

‘Even more beautiful than Peggy and that’s saying something.’

‘Oh my god!’

‘What?’

‘Steve, do you like Tony?’

‘Of course I do. He’s a great guy.’

‘No. I mean, do you have romantic feelings for him?’

‘If I said yes, would you hate me?’

‘Of course not, Steve. Same sex relationships are allowed nowadays. It’s even legal for same sex couples to get married.’

‘Wow. I guess I must have missed that.’

‘It’s a pretty recent thing. It certainly wouldn’t have been around in the 80s. People were still pretty homophobic back then even if it was made legal to be in a same sex relationship.’

‘I wish I had known that earlier. I’ve been feeling a little disgusted with myself. I thought it was still illegal.’

‘It’s perfectly fine for you to like men openly now. And even if it wasn’t then you shouldn’t be ashamed about how you feel. Love is never wrong, Steve. If a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman then nobody should care. They’re in love and that’s all that matters.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘No problem. So, are you going to talk to Tony about how you feel?’

‘Are you kidding? Of course not. He hardly ever speaks to me! I’m not going to go up to him and tell him that I have romantic feelings for him.’

‘Then maybe you should get to know him a bit better.’

‘But he keeps ignoring me.’

‘I think you should tell him that you don’t compare him to his father every time you see him. If you tell him that you see him as his own person then maybe he’ll finally open up to you.’

‘That’s a good idea.’

‘Are you going to do it?’

‘Yes, but..’

‘But what?’

‘What if he isn’t into fellas or he just doesn’t like me that way?’

‘There’s only one way to find out and step one is to tell him what I just told you to tell him.’

‘Fine. I’ll do it but if he says he hates me then you owe me.’

‘I told you that he doesn’t.’

‘You don’t know that.’

‘Yes, I do. It’s pretty obvious if someone hates you and from what I can see Tony doesn’t hate you at all.’

‘If you’re sure.’

‘I am.’

‘Okay. I trust you. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.’

‘That’s all I ask.’

The next day Steve went down to Tony’s lab to talk to him and it seemed to go pretty well since he came back up with a big smile on his face.

‘What did you guys talk about?’ Helen asked.

‘I told him that I didn’t see him as his father’s son but as his own person.’

‘What did he say to that?’

‘He thanked me and hugged me.’

‘Wow. A hug from your crush. No wonder you look so happy.’

‘I can’t help it. It just felt so right to have him in my arms.’

‘I know the feeling. So are you guys friends now?’

‘I think so.’

‘That’s good, Steve. You’ve made some progress.’

‘What do I do now?’

‘You get to know him, silly.’

‘How do I know if he likes men?’

‘Just ask him.’

‘Is that okay to do?’

‘Of course it is, Steve.’

‘Maybe I will ask him then.’

‘Do you still have feelings for Peggy?’

‘A little bit but I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore.’

‘Were you ever in love with her?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, you kept stalling when Bucky and I tried to get you to ask her out. And you never did. You said that she asked you out, right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘If she didn’t ask you then do you think that you eventually would have?’

‘I don’t know. I just clammed up every time I tried to ask her.’

‘Maybe that was your heart’s way of telling you that it wasn’t right.’

‘Maybe.’

‘If you found out that Tony did like men, would you ask him out?’

‘Probably.’

‘If he showed signs of liking you back, would you ask him out?’

‘Nothing could stop me.’

‘There’s your answer then. You wouldn’t hesitate in asking Tony out once you were assured that he liked you as well. But with Peggy even though you knew that she liked you, you didn’t ask her out.’

‘I guess that makes sense. I think a part of me knew that our relationship was doomed.’

‘Don’t say doomed. It makes it sound creepy.’

‘Well, it was doomed. I went into the ice and didn’t come out of it for 70 years. She aged in that time and had to move on. Even if she wasn’t married now I don’t think we could be together. It would be far too creepy to even contemplate.’

‘I get where you’re coming from. Do you think Bucky and I were doomed?’

‘No, of course not.’

‘But it’s like you said. I returned to my own time and then Bucky fell off the train. He’s dead and I’m alone and stuck in my own time. How is that not a doomed relationship?’

‘You and Bucky were meant to be together even if it was for a short time.’

‘You don’t think you and Peggy were meant to be?’

‘No. We were never in a relationship so it’s not the same. What Peggy and I could have had was lost when I crashed into the ice. What you and Bucky had was true love. You had a real relationship and I don’t believe for one second that it was doomed. It can’t have been. You wouldn’t have been together if it was. Why would fate send you back in time if you weren’t meant to be with Bucky?’

‘I see what you’re saying, Steve. But I can’t help but think that I was never meant to be with Bucky. I sometimes think that I was sent back to my own time before we had the chance to get married because we were never supposed to end up together.’

‘That’s bullshit, Helen. You made a wish to find true love and happiness. Fate chose to send you to the past and fate meant for you to find Bucky. You’re soulmates. Fate wouldn’t have let you be together if you weren’t.’

‘I’m sorry, Steve. I guess I’m just so hurt from all of this that I deny that what I had with Bucky was perfect. It’s easier to think that our relationship was a fluke rather than true love and all that. It hurts less to think of it that way.’

‘Does it?’

‘No but it would be easier if I did. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t still love him with everything that I have.’

‘I know and I’m sorry that it has to be this way. I hate that this has happened to you.’

‘I know you are, Steve. But there’s nothing you can do to change it.’

‘The hell I can’t. I’m trying everything I can to bring Bucky back to you. I wish on a star every night. I’ve got Thor using his godly powers to try and summon Bucky back from the dead. I’ve got Tony and Bruce trying to figure out how to time travel so I can bring him to you.’

‘Steve, you don’t have to do all that.’

‘Yes, I do. I’ll do anything to make you happy.’

‘You’re trying to achieve the impossible, Steve.’

‘Then I’ll achieve the impossible.’

‘Thank you for trying.’

‘Don’t thank me yet. Thank me when I bring him back to you.’

‘I hope that one day I’ll be able to say that.’

‘I’ll make sure you will. Just do me one favour.’

‘Of course.’

‘Name one of your children after me.’

‘First name or middle name?’

‘Either. Just make sure you get my name in there.’

‘Steven Barnes. I kind of like it.’

‘I bet Bucky won’t but if you like it then he’ll allow it. He’s never been able to deny you anything.’

‘I hope you’re right about all of this, Steve.’

‘I’m positive I am. I agree with Hermione. The wish isn’t over yet. Somehow Bucky will be brought back to you and you’ll live out the rest of your lives together with your son Steve.’

‘That sounds nice.’

‘Just hold onto that thought. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that it happens.’

‘I believe you. Captain America never lies, right?’

‘Not to his best friend.’


	10. Only You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Helen talk about Bucky’s fall from the train. The next morning Helen learns something new about her parents.

* * *

  
A few days had passed and it seemed that Steve and Tony were getting closer which made Helen very happy. It was nice to see Steve so happy and carefree. She hadn’t seen him like that since before the war and it warmed her heart to see that Tony brought it out in him. In turn it seemed that Steve made Tony more open and vulnerable. They really were perfect for each other.

Helen was thrilled that Steve had finally accepted that he would be in this time. Spending time with Tony had made Steve more comfortable with being in the future and Helen was over the moon to see her friend so relaxed and carefree. He no longer had that brooding look on his face when he reminisced about the past because he had finally accepted that his life in the 1940s was over and he was actually enjoying living in this time. Helen was sure that having the object of his affection close by made Steve love this time period even more. Overall it was just nice to see Steve being truly happy. She knew that he only pretended to be happy at first because he missed the time period he came from too much and it killed her to know that Steve was so miserable. Now, however, he was happy and it was a welcome change to see him act in a way he had before the war broke out.

But deep down Helen knew that Steve could never be completely happy.It was the same reason that she couldn’t be completely happy. The absence of Bucky broke both of their hearts and they both knew that there would always be a void in their lives that only he could fill. She knew that Steve constantly blamed himself for Bucky falling off the train. Helen had tried to tell him that he had done everything he could to save Bucky but the stubborn blond was adamant that it was his fault. She could sympathise with how he felt though. She was an expert at blaming herself for other people’s death and she knew all too well that it was near impossible to rid yourself of the blame and guilt.

However a couple of days later it was Steve’s turn to convince Helen. They were talking about Bucky when Helen said something that made Steve almost explode with anger.

‘Sometimes I think it’s my fault that Bucky fell. If I hadn’t died then Bucky wouldn’t have been so broken. If I had never came into his life then maybe he’d be alive right now.’ She said, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

‘NO! Don’t you DARE say that! You were the love of Bucky’s life. The light that guided him through his darkest times. You made his life better, not worse. And it certainly wasn’t your fault that he fell. Bucky was completely focused that day. He was determined to catch Zola and end HYDRA for _you_. He wanted to win the war for YOU. Because he knew that’s what you wanted and he was so determined to do it. That day the only thing on his mind was the idea of making you proud. What happened to him wasn’t your fault. He didn’t fall because he was lost in his grief over you. He fell because the bar he was holding onto broke before I got the chance to pull him back up. It wasn’t your fault.’

‘If it wasn’t my fault then it wasn’t yours.’ Helen said eventually.

‘The difference between you and me is that I was there and you weren’t. I had the chance to save him and I failed.’

‘You can’t save everyone, Steve. I wish it wasn’t true but unfortunately it is.’

‘I saved hundreds of people, Helen. Why couldn’t I save my best friend?’

‘You tried your best, Steve. There was nothing more you could have done.’

‘I should have been faster. If I hadn’t panicked then Bucky wouldn’t have fell.’

‘You can’t keep doing this to yourself. If you keep blaming yourself then you’re just hurting yourself. You have to accept that you did the best you could.’

‘You know, even if Bucky somehow survived the fall or we bring him back with a time machine, I will always blame myself for letting him fall off the train.’

‘If Bucky is alive or is brought back with a time machine then you have to stop blaming yourself. If any of these things happen then Bucky will be okay. He’ll be _alive_. What you blame yourself for will be pointless because Bucky wouldn’t be dead. He’d be with us and the guilt you feel over letting him die would be moot.’

‘Still, I can’t help but feel guilty. Even if we do get Bucky back it’ll still haunt me. I’ll still have the memory of him falling and the guilt of not doing enough to save him.’

‘Steve, you have to _stop this_. The blame game isn’t healthy. It destroys you. It ruins you. Bucky wouldn’t want you to destroy yourself over him. You have to let this go.’

‘I’ll try.’

‘Good. So, how’s it going between you and Tony?’

‘Things are good. We’ve become really close friends.’

‘That’s amazing, Steve.’

‘I know. I’m so happy.’

‘You’d be happier if you and Tony started dating though, right?’

‘Of course I would but I don’t want to ruin things.’

‘You won’t ruin things, Steve.’

‘Yes, I will. If I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way then I’ll have ruined our friendship.’

‘I don’t think Tony would stop being your friend because of it.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because Tony is not a cruel person. He wouldn’t stop being your friend because you have feelings that he doesn’t return.’

‘I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him yet.’

‘Then you wait until you are. Or you wait until he asks you out.’

‘I don’t think that will happen.’

‘You never know, Cap.’

‘I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.’

‘I guess you shall.’

‘How are you doing by the way?’

‘I’m fine, Steve.’

‘Are you feeling okay about Bucky?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I’m sure. I have to be. All I can do is hope that one day I might see him again. Other than that I have nothing.’

‘I will bring him back to you.’

‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep.’

‘Captain America never breaks his promises especially not to his best friend.’

‘I’m pretty sure that not even Captain America can bring people back from the dead.’

‘Hey, don’t doubt the great Captain America. He can do anything he sets his mind to.’

‘I don’t doubt that.’ Helen said with a fond chuckle.

The next day Helen woke up bright and early and started preparing breakfast for everyone. She prepared large portions for everyone since both Thor and Steve never really got full. She cracked some eggs into the frying pan and stirred them to make scrambled eggs.

She was halfway through making them when Steve and Tony came into the kitchen. They both greeted her as they poured themselves a cup of coffee. It thrilled Helen to see the two of them come into the kitchen together and she was so happy that she started singing one of her favourite songs. She had no idea where she had heard it before. She just knew that it made her feel safe and warm.

‘Looking from a window above. It’s like a story of love. Can you hear me? Came back only yesterday. I’m moving farther away. Want you near me. All I needed was the love you gave. All I needed for another day. And all I ever knew... Only you.’

She continued to sing the rest of the song as she finished making the rest of the breakfast. She plated up the scrambled eggs, fried eggs and bacon onto several plates and into some bowls. She placed them on the table only to find Tony looking at her strangely.

‘What’s wrong, Tony?’

‘Where did you learn the lyrics to that song?’

‘I don’t know. I guess I’ve always known it.’

‘Where have you heard it before?’

‘I don’t know. Just from memory, I guess.’

‘You’ve never heard it on the radio or anything?’

‘Not that I can remember.’

‘Are you sure, Helen? Because you just sang every word of that song perfectly and you’re telling me you’ve never listened to it before.’ Tony said with a furrowed brow.

‘I don’t know where I’ve heard it before. All I know is that it makes me feel safe and warm. When I sing it it’s like I’m home.’

‘Perhaps your parents listened to it then.’ Steve suggested.

‘I don’t think I’d remember it if they did. They died when I was one. I have no real memories of them.’

‘You’d be surprised what your subconscious remembers, Helen. If your parents liked that song and listened to it all the time then you’ll have it in your long term memory.’

‘Then how do I not remember where I’ve heard it?’

‘If it was a long time ago and you were very young then it’s likely that you remember all the words but not anything else.’

‘I wish I could.’

‘Maybe one day you will.’

‘I hope so.’

‘Don’t push her, Tony.’

‘Relax, Capsicle. I’m not forcing her to remember.’

‘You okay, Helen?’

‘I’m fine, Steve. I’m just trying to remember where I heard the song before.’

‘Don’t strain yourself, Helen.’

‘I want to remember, Steve! I want to remember why I know the lyrics to a song that I’ve never actually heard before.’

‘You don’t have to remember.’

‘But I want to.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, Steve. There’s no harm in remembering where I heard this song before.’

‘If you’re sure.’

‘I am. What’s the song called anyway?’

‘It’s called “Only You”. It’s sung by a band called Yazoo.’

‘I don’t know if that helps. When did it come out?’

‘1982.’

‘It would have been out when my parents where alive then.’

‘When did they die?’

‘Halloween 1991.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Yeah, it kind of puts a downer on the holiday.’

‘I’ll say.’

‘Do you know anything about them? What music they might have liked?’

‘Not anything like that.’

‘That makes this tricky then.’

‘I can ask McGonagall or Hagrid if they know. They taught both my parents at school. They might know if they liked that song.’

‘How are you going to ask them?’

‘McGonagall can use a phone. I should be able to call her without any trouble.’

‘You can do it after breakfast. You need to eat.’

‘Alright, Rogers. Don’t mother hen me. You always hated when Bucky did that to you. Don’t be a hypocrite and start doing it to me.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You are a little bit. But don’t worry I would never tell Bucky that you were if he was here.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

A couple of minutes later Ron, Hermione and the rest of the Avengersentered the kitchen. Once everyone was seated Helen served the breakfast and everyone tucked in.

After breakfast was over Helen grabbed Ron and Hermione and took them to the room she was staying in.

‘What’s up, mate? You dragged us away pretty quick.’

‘I have a problem.’

‘What kind of problem?’ Asked a concerned Hermione.

‘I was singing at breakfast and Tony found it was weird that I had never heard the song that I was singing.’

‘The one that goes only you?’

‘Yes.’

‘What did Tony say about it?’

‘He asked where I’d heard it because I knew all of the words. When I told him that I just remembered it from somewhere he got confused. He said that I couldn’t possibly know all the words to a song that I’d never heard before.’

‘How _do_ you know that song? I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.’

‘I don’t know. I just remember it from somewhere. I think maybe from the time I spent with my parents. It’s an old memory since I can’t remember exactly where I know it from and I don’t think the Dursleys would ever listen to that type of music.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘First I’m going to ask either McGonagall or Hagrid if they know if my parents liked the song. Then I’m going to try and go through my memories and see if I can find one of my parents singing it to me or something like that. They must have played it a lot if I remember the words after all this time so it shouldn’t be hard to find a memory.’

‘Our trip isn’t over yet. Can you wait a few more days to ask them?’

‘I’ll just have to. I told Steve and Tony that McGonagall knew how to use a phone but we all know that it isn’t true and even if she did it wouldn’t work while she was at Hogwarts.’

‘I’m sorry you don’t remember, Helen.’

‘It was a long time ago, Hermione. I’m not surprised that I don’t remember.’

‘Think really hard. Focus hard on your parents and the song. Do you remember anything?’

‘I, uh, I remember my dad holding me and my mum in his arms. The song is playing in the background. I think my mum is singing along. We’re all dancing together. I feel safe and loved. I’m smiling in the memory. I don’t know how old I am. Everything else is fuzzy.’

‘Good, Helen. You remembered something.’

‘Yeah. I guess that’s why I remember the song. It’s associated with a positive memory. But I still don’t know what the song meant to my parents though.’

‘Perhaps it was their wedding song or something.’

‘Maybe. I’d like to know though. It would be nice to know something else about them. Something trivial and cosy.’

‘I’m glad you remember something so positive. I know how much the memory of their deaths haunts you.’

‘It was amazing to see them so happy and normal. They were just like any other couple with a baby in that moment. It didn’t seem like they were in hiding. They just seemed like everyone else.’

‘I’m sure they were.’

‘I miss them so much. I wish they were here.’

‘They’d be so proud of you, Helen.’

Ron nodded. ‘They would be, mate. And they’d be so happy that you found someone like Bucky.’

‘Do you think he’s with them in the afterlife right now?’

‘No because he’s going to come back to you.’

‘Don’t start this again. I’ve already heard it from Steve. I don’t need to hear it from you two.’

‘Don’t give up hope, Helen. You will see him again.’

‘If you say so. I hope he still loves me when he finds out that I lied to him.’

‘How did you lie to him?’

‘I never told him that I time travelled or that I’m a witch.’

‘He won’t care about that. He loves you more than anything. He’ll understand why you didn’t tell him.’

‘I still lied though.’

‘For a good reason. If you went around parading that you were a time travelling witch then you’d probably be locked up in an asylum. Plus with the Statute you couldn’t exactly tell him without permission.’

‘I guess so.’

‘Were you going to tell him eventually?’

‘About time travelling, no. About being a witch, yes. I was going to tell him after the war. I figured that if we were going to have kids then he should know about magic. No point in him getting a shock when the oldest turned eleven.’

‘See, you would have told him so you wouldn’t have been lying. Besides he proposed to you. I don’t think a little lie is going to make him change his mind about you.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do say so.’

‘Alright, ‘Mione. I believe you.’

‘Will you believe me when I say that you’ll see Bucky again?’

‘I’ll try.’


	11. Goodbye New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen leaves New York to go back home with Ron and Hermione

* * *

A few days had passed and the day that Helen had to leave New York was looming closer. It hurt a lot to think that in a couple of days she would be leaving. Not that she wasn’t excited to be going home. She was. She loved her life back in England and she adored the family she had there. She didn’t know what she would do without the Weasleys and Andromeda and Teddy. They weren’t her family by blood but they were her family in everything else. She couldn’t wait to see them.

But then another part of her broke at the thought of leaving New York. Steve was in New York. Pepper was in New York. Tony and Natasha were in New York. Clint, Bruce and Thor were in New York. New York was close to Brooklyn where she met and fell in love with Bucky. It healed the ache in her heart being closer to Brooklyn. She felt like she was close to Bucky this way. If she left now she felt that she would break down all over again. The part of her that wanted to stay outweighed the part that wanted to go home. Because they say that your home is where your heart is and her heart belonged to Bucky. His hometown, the place where they met and fell in love, was her home. She no longer felt like England was her home. The only place she felt at home was when she hung out with Steve. Because right now he was the closest thing to Bucky. And without a doubt she needed to be close to someone who not only reminded her of Bucky but understood the pain of losing him.

Nobody back home understood what it was like to miss Bucky. None of them understood how painful it was to lose him. Sure, they sympathised with her but none of them knew what it felt like. Because none of them knew Bucky. They didn’t have the chance to get to know him so there was no way they could miss him. They didn’t understand how much of aloss he was. The only person who understood was Steve and he was needed in New York. There was no way that he could leave and come to England with her. And there was no way that she could stay in New York with him. She was needed by the Ministry. She was one of their best Aurors and she couldn’t just abandon them. But a dark part of her wished she could. Her heart just wasn’t in it anymore. And wasn’t that something she thought she’d never say. Being an Auror was her dream job and for the first few years it was everything she thought it would be and more. But then she travelled to the 1940s and met Bucky and suddenly she was living a different kind of dream. One she thought she’d never get to have and once she had it she never wanted to let it go.

Unfortunately she didn’t get the choice whether or not she got to continue living out her dream life with her dream man. The choice was so forcefully ripped away from her in the cruellest way possible. And now that Bucky was dead she had no hope of ever getting it back. And didn’t that hurt like the Killing curse and the Torture curse combined.

But being in New York eased some of that excruciating pain and she didn’t know if she could leave it. She didn’t want to leave Steve or Pepper or the Avengers. They had become her family over here and she didn’t want to part from them. Especially not Steve. Not after she found him after all this time. She couldn’t leave him again. But she knew she had no choice. Unless she quit her job at the Ministry she couldn’t stay here and even if she did quit she had to actually do it in person. Which meant she would have to leave New York and that would just make the whole thing pointless.

So Helen knew that she would have to tell Steve that she would be going home in a couple of days. It wouldn’t be an easy conversation. Steve had gotten used to having her in his life again and she knew that her leaving would hurt him. He already lost her once. It would break him to know that he might never see her again. Because who knows when Helen would get time off from her work to come here again. It could be months or quite possibly years. She was one of the Ministry’s biggest assets and she knew after being away for a few weeks they would be very reluctant to let her have any more time off.

There was no way around it. She was leaving very soon with no idea when she’d be back. Steve would be crushed but she knew she had to tell him.

She found him sketching in his room, a sight she had grown accustomed to back in the 40s.

‘Hey, Steve.’

Steve looked up from his sketchpad and smiled at her. ‘Hey, Helen.’

‘Can we talk for a minute?’

‘Sure. What’s up?’ Steve said as he put down his sketchpad.

‘This isn’t easy for me to say, Steve.’

‘What is it? Are you hurt?’ He asked in worry.

‘No, I’m not hurt. I just have to tell you something that might hurt you.’

‘What’s wrong, Helen? You can tell me.’

Helen bit her lip nervously. ‘I have to go home the day after tomorrow.’

Steve’s face fell. ‘What?’

‘I’m sorry, Steve.’

‘Why do you have to go so soon?’

‘I have to go back to work the day after I come back. There’s nothing I can do to stay longer.’

‘Can’t you just move here and stay with me? It’ll be like the old days when we had that apartment in Brooklyn.’ Steve said with puppy dog eyes, which made it all the more harder for Helen.

‘To move here I have to quit my job and in order to quit my job I have to go home.’

‘Would you move here?’

‘In a heartbeat but I also love my job and my family back home. It’s not easy to leave all that behind.’

‘Promise me that you’ll come back.’

‘Of course I will, Steve. And I promise that next time I come I will stay longer than a month.’

‘I’m gonna miss you.’

‘I know and I’m going to miss you. You have no idea how much I’m going to miss you.’

‘I think I have a pretty good idea.’

‘I love you, Steve. I really do mean that. You’re like family to me and I absolutely adore you.’

‘I love you too, Helen. You’re like the sister I never had.’

‘We will see each other again, Steve. Don’t you worry about that. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I will come back to see you.’

‘I’ll hold you to that promise.’

‘Only if you promise to be safe.’

‘I’ll be as safe as I can be considering the job I have.’

‘That’s all I ask for.’

‘What do you do for work by the way?’

‘I’m a police officer of sorts.’

‘Really? That sounds cool.’

‘Yeah, it’s a lot of fun. I do a lot of detective work and stuff.’

‘You know, I always imagined that you’d be one of those women who excelled at what is typically a man’s job. I could see you being a doctor or a lawyer or something of the kind and doing it far better than all the men. I guess I was right.’

‘I am pretty good at my job. I’m the Assistant Head.’

‘That’s amazing. Bucky would be so proud of you.’

‘I hope he would be. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.’

‘He always was so proud of you. He’d tell me that he was so happy that he’d found a girl that was strong and independent. He was extremely proud that you weren’t like any of the other girls he had ever dated. He said to me once that he thought that if you put your mind to it that you could change the world.’

‘I never knew that. He really thought so highly of me?’

‘He did.’

‘Wow.’

‘He loved you so much, Helen. And nothing made him prouder than to have you in his arms. He was beyond thrilled that you chose to be with him. Called himself the luckiest guy in the world.’

‘I remember him saying something like that a few times.’

‘You were his whole world, you know.’

‘I do know and he was mine.’

‘You were perfect together. Seeing you two fall in love was one of the best things I’ve ever witnessed in my life.’

‘That’s sweet, Steve. But speaking of falling in love, how are things going with Tony?’

‘They’re going really well.’

‘So are you gonna tell him how you feel?’

‘Not yet.’

‘Why not, Steve?’

‘I just need a little more time. I want it to be perfect.’

‘It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect or not. What matters is that you actually ask him.’

‘I will.’

‘You better. Don’t make me bring in Natasha.’

‘You wouldn’t dare.’

‘If it gets you asking Tony out then I’ll do it.’

‘I promise that I will ask him. I just need a little more time to prepare myself. I don’t want to be a bumbling mess when I ask him.’

‘You’re not going to mess it up, Steve.’

‘That’s why I’m waiting a bit. So I don’t get so nervous that I ruin everything.’

‘Stop being dramatic. You’re not going to ruin everything. If you can’t get the words out when you ask him you just ask him another time.’

‘You make it sound so easy.’

‘Well, you make it sound so hard.’

‘Touché.’

‘Just promise me that you’ll ask him.’

‘I promise.’

‘I mean it, Steve. You better ask him. Because if you haven’t asked him by my next visit then there will be hell to pay.’

‘I promise that I’ll ask him by the time you come back.’

‘Good.’

‘Do you really have to go? I need you here.’

‘Steve, don’t make me feel bad. You know that if I could definitely stay then I would. Don’t make this harder than it already is.’

‘I’m sorry. I just don’t like the thought of you leaving. I just got you back. You shouldn’t be leaving me already.’

‘I feel the same way but this isn’t a goodbye forever kind of thing. We will see each other again and it will be like I never left.’

‘Do you like living in England?’

‘I did before I met you and Bucky. Now I’m just sad all the time. I hate being in a place that’s so far away from where we lived together.’

‘You could always move here like I suggested.’

‘Maybe one day I will but for now I’ve got unfinished business there.’

‘Well, hurry up and finish it. I need you here at once.’

‘Bucky was right. You really are a punk.’

‘I’m not denying it.’

‘You’re the best.’

‘Hey, make up your mind. Am I a punk or am I the best?’

‘Why can’t you be both?’

‘So I’m the best punk then?’

‘The best little punk in the whole world.’

‘You’re terrible.’

‘Hey! I called you the best and you call me terrible? Captain Rogers, I’m shocked at your behaviour.’

‘You did call me a punk, you know. You should have expected this type of behaviour from me.’

‘I take back what I said. You’re the worst punk I’ve ever met.’

‘Hey!’

‘I’m just kidding. You know you’re my favourite little punk. You always have been and you always will be.’

‘I know.’

The next day Helen got started on packing since she would be leaving tomorrow afternoon. Hermione joined her halfway through.

‘Hey, ‘Mione.’

‘Hi, Helen. How’s the packing going?’ The brunette asked, coming to sit on the bed.

‘It’s going well.’

‘Are you feeling okay about leaving tomorrow?’

‘No. How did you figure that out?’

‘You seem happy here.’

‘I’m happy back home, Hermione.’

‘Not in the way you’re happy here. You have a sense of carefreeness that I haven’t seen in you in years. It’s like you’re at peace here.’

‘That’s because I met Bucky here.’

‘You feel closer to him by being here.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Why don’t you just stay?’

‘You know I can’t stay here, Hermione.’

‘Why can’t you? You’re actually happy here. You’re not pretending to be okay like you are back home. I feel like you’re meant to be here.’

‘Maybe I was but not anymore.’

‘Why not?’

‘I belonged here because Bucky was here and now he’s gone. I don’t belong in a place where Bucky isn’t.’

‘That doesn’t make any sense.’

‘I just belonged here because the love of my life was here. I was meant to be here because I was meant to be with Bucky. And now he’s not here I don’t belong here. It’s not right for me to be here.’

Hermione took Helen’s hand in hers, causing the redhead to stop what she was doing.

‘But it is right for you to be here. You’ve found yourself again here. The parts of you that were lost because of Voldemort and others have been found again. You’re like the Helen that I first met when I was eleven again. And you’re like that because you’re here. Because you fell in love and found a family in Bucky and Steve. You took back what was forcibly taken from you and you built it up to be strong. You have to stay here, Helen. I feel that it’s the only way you’ll be happy.’

‘I’m happy with you and Ron. With the Weasleys and Teddy.’

‘Maybe you’re happy with us but you’re not happy with everything else in your life back home. You’re missing something that you can’t possibly get back home. You need to stay here. You’ll only be miserable if you don’t.’

‘I have to go back, ‘Mione. To stay here I have to quit my job and I have to go back home to do it.’

‘Then do it as soon as we come back and then go and move here.’

‘It’s not that easy.’

‘It is that easy. You’re only making it hard.’

‘I want to stay here. I really do but something is holding me back.’

‘What’s holding you back?’

‘The life I have back in England is all I know. It’s the only way I’ve ever lived my life. I don’t know if I can leave that.’

‘You know that’s not true, Helen. You lived a different kind of life in the past with Bucky and Steve.’

‘I did.’

‘Did you like living like that?’

‘I loved living like that. It was so freeing. I wasn’t the Girl Who Lived. I wasn’t defined by my magic. I was just Helen and I loved being just Helen.’

‘Maybe you can just be Helen again.’

‘I could but I’ll never be Bucky’s Helen again.’

‘Ah. That’s what this is about.’

‘What are you taking about?’

‘You don’t want to stay here because you’ll never have the life you had here back in the 40s. You’ll never have Bucky again so you don’t see the point of staying here.’

‘I think it will just be too hard to live here without him.’

‘It’s already hard for you to live without him no matter where you were. Why not stay here with Steve? You said that he was the only one who understood the pain of losing Bucky. Why don’t you stay and get through your grief together?’

‘I don’t know what’s holding me back.’

‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘If you and Bucky got to have the life you wanted back in the 1940s, would you have happily lived without using magic?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay. Would you give up your magic in order to have Bucky back?’

‘Yes, I would. If it meant having Bucky again then I would. What’s the point of having magic if you’re miserable? It’s not much fun that way, is it? I don’t even know if I could conjure a Patronus right now.’

‘I’m so sorry, Helen.’

‘Don’t be. None of this was your doing.’

‘And it wasn’t your doing either.’

‘You really think I should move here?’

‘I do. I think it would be good for you.’

‘I don’t want to leave you and Ron though. We’ve never been in a different country from each other before.’

‘Ron and I will visit you. And who knows, we might move here too.’

‘I don’t know about that.’

‘Will you get a job with the American Ministry?’

‘Yeah. I think I’ll take a short break first but I’ll definitely join the Auror programme here if I can.’

‘You’ll be happy here, Helen. I can feel it.’

The next afternoon Helen, Ron and Hermione said their goodbyes to the Avengers and left the Tower for the airport. Steve hugged Helen tight before she left and asked her to keep her promise of coming back.

‘I will, Steve. Nothing can stop me from keeping that promise.’

An hour later Helen was on the plane back to London. Travelling further and further away from where she was meant to be. She knew deep in her heart that Hermione was right. She was happiest when she was in New York with Steve and she owed it to herself to do something that made her happy. And if that meant having to leave her life in London behind then she’d do it. God knows she could use some happiness right now. The last year had been pretty miserable and she needed to live her life being happy most of the time. Like she was when she was with Bucky.


	12. Mother Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen’s indecision over moving to New York leads to her getting injured on the job but a little advice from Mrs Weasley helps her decide.

* * *

Despite making a decision to quit her job as an Auror and move to New York, in the two weeks that had passed since she had arrived back in England Helen had not actually done anything about it. She knew that she was stalling. A part of her was still afraid to leave her life here behind. Her lack of action infuriated Hermione to no end and the brunette repeatedly kept telling her that leaving was the right decision. But Hermione did not have to tell her this. She knew moving to New York was the right thing to do and she had no idea why she hadn’t done anything about it.

Maybe it was because she was completely swamped with her work or maybe she really was just afraid of leaving. Whatever the reason she had done nothing to make her imminent move to New York easier. And she didn’t know why because she really wanted to move to New York. Hermione was right. It was where she was meant to be and more importantly, where she needed to be. So why hadn’t she quit her job yet? That was the only real obstacle in her way and she had done nothing to eliminate it. What was wrong with her?

Whatever was holding her back she couldn’t dwell on now. She had an important mission to complete. She was heading a team of five, which included Ron and Neville, for a mission to stop a gang of wizards who were intent on using the Unforgivable Curses like they were Healing charms. It wasn’t going to be easy but she was determined to do it.

‘You ready for this, mate?’

‘Of course I am, Ron.’

‘You seem distracted though.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re always raring to go when it comes to missions like this. But today, you seem a little off. Like your mind is elsewhere.’

‘I’m fine, Ron.’

‘Are you sure? Because I don’t want you getting hurt because you’re worried or something.’

‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.’

‘You’ve always said that and most of the time I don’t know whether or not I believe you.’

‘What about this time?’

‘I’m not sure but I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.’

‘Hermione wouldn’t.’

‘That’s because she’s a worrier. I know that you can handle yourself just fine so I don’t worry as much. But Hermione panics every time either one of us go out on a mission.’

‘She just doesn’t want us to get hurt.’

‘I know but she shouldn’t worry so much. It’s not good for her, especially when she’s worrying for nothing most of the time.’

‘To be fair she did have cause to worry a few years ago when we were off hunting horcruxes and defeating Basilisks and Dark Lords.’

‘Thank Merlin that those days are over. Hunting for those horcruxes scarred me for life.’

‘It scarred me too, buddy.’

‘It’s over now, mate. But I’m still sorry about what I said in the tent. About you having no family. That was uncalled for and untrue.’

‘Ron, stop apologising for that. I know you didn’t mean it. You were being influenced by the locket, that’s all.’

‘I’m still sorry.’

‘I know and I’m telling you that I forgave you a long time ago.’ Helen said, patting Ron on the arm.

‘I still feel bad about it though.’

‘You shouldn’t. It’s in the past and it doesn’t hurt me anymore.’

‘But I hurt you when I said it. I hate that.’

‘I knew a few minutes after that you didn’t mean it. I wasn’t hurt for very long.’

‘I hate that I hurt you at all. Even if it was only for a second.’

‘Don’t do that. You’re still my best friend. Even when you hurt me you’re still my best friend and you always will be.’

‘You’ll always be mine as well.’

‘I know.’

Twenty minutes later Helen and Ron had entered the large mansion that was the headquarters of the gang. They had split up into pairs and explored different rooms in the mansion. Naturally Helen was paired with Ron and the partnership was familiar and experienced. After sticking by her side for over ten years Helen couldn’t think of anyone better to have her back than Ron.

She sneaked through the dark corridors of the mansion, Ron following behind her, and searched for any evidence that might help them put the members of the gang in Azkaban. If there was any Dark artefacts then they were concluded somewhere else however. So the two of them entered what appeared to be a study and searched every nook and cranny of the room.

A few minutes later they found a time turner hidden underneath one of the floorboards. Cheering internally at finding an illegal item before anyone had managed to wreak havoc with it, she placed it in the pocket of her robe.

‘Well, at least we found something to get them some time in Azkaban.’

Ron nodded. ‘Yeah. It would be good if we could get them for using the Unforgivable Curses though.’

‘Hopefully they’ll use them in our presence.’

‘Let’s just hope they don’t use them on us.’

‘Then we won’t give them the chance to.’

An hour later they met up with Neville and the four other Aurors to discuss what they had found.

‘I found a time turner as well. I also found an enchanted music box and a Dark Curio.’ Neville reported.

Helen nodded. ‘Good. Did anyone else find anything?’

‘I found a Crushing Cabinet.’ One of the Aurors said.

‘Damn. I thought there was only one of them.’

‘It could be the same one.’ Ron pointed out.

‘Maybe but we better confiscate it anyway. I’ve sent for backup to help us bring all the stuff back with us.’

‘Did anyone find anything else?’ Ron asked.

‘No but the whole mansion is riddled with Dark magic. It should be thoroughly searched after we catch the members of this gang.’

‘You’re right. We don’t have time to examine it today but we should definitely come back and see what we can find. Who knows what’s hidden deep within the walls of this place.’

It was at that moment that everything went wrong. One minute everything was fine and the next they were surrounded by 12 Dark wizards. Helen knew that they were outnumbered but between the six of them she was sure they could take them. Helen pulled out her wand and stupefied one of the wizards before duelling with another one.

‘Expulso!’ She yelled and the curse sent the wizard she was duelling flying back into the wall, knocking him unconscious.

‘Ron! You okay?’

‘I’m fine, mate. I just took out one of them.’

‘I’ve taken out two so that’s three down, nine to go.’

‘Let’s hope nothing goes wrong then.’

‘Besides getting ambushed, you mean?’

‘Besides that, yeah.’

‘You’re ridiculous.’

‘You know it.’

Helen fired a curse at the dark haired wizard that sneaked up on her and it immobilised him temporarily. A blond wizard then came up to her and they duelled ferociously for a few minutes.

Eventually Helen got the upper hand and managed to knock him out. But then in a twist of fate the wizard that she had stupefied a few minutes before woke up and fired a Dark curse at her. She ducked just in time to avoid the full brunt of the Blasting Curse but unfortunately some of the blast still hit her and she was knocked to the ground, a large and weeping gash protruding at her side.

She screamed in agony, alerting Ron to the fact that she was hurt. He stupefied the wizard he was duelling and rushed to her side.

‘Helen! Oh Merlin, what’s happened to you? Where are you hurt?’

‘Right side.’

Ron examined the wound and winced when he saw the amount of blood and pus pouring out of it. ‘Bloody hell, mate. They really got you good.’

‘I’ll say. It hurts like hell.’

‘It looks like hell.’

‘A bloody hell.’

‘Now’s not the time for jokes, mate.’

‘It is if it distracts you from the pain.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen.’

‘It wasn’t your fault I got hit.’

‘I should have had your back though. I didn’t protect you when I should have.’

‘We were outnumbered. You couldn’t have protected me without getting hurt yourself.’

‘I’m still sorry. I’m sorry that this happened to you.’

‘It’s not your fault, Ron. It was an accident.’

‘You got hit by the Blasting Curse. It wasn’t an accident.’

‘I got distracted. I didn’t pay attention. That was the accident.’

‘At least you didn’t get hit by it fully.’

‘Small mercies.’

‘We have to get you out of here.’

‘Finish the mission.’

‘Neville and the others will do that. You need to get medical treatment. We have to go now.’

‘I can’t move.’

‘Then I’ll carry you.’

‘Can’t breathe. Tell.. Steve I sorry I broke my.. promise.’

‘Helen, no! Stay awake! You’ve got to stay awake!’

Ron’s frantic pleading was the last thing she heard before darkness took over her.

The next thing she knew she was waking up in a hospital bed. The pain from her wound had diminished a little but it still hurt like hell. The Healers must have treated her because she could no longer feel the wound bleeding or oozing pus. She had no idea what the long term damage would be and she didn’t know if she wanted to. She would be scarred, that’s the only thing she was sure about. How badly she didn’t know but she could definitely had another set of scars to her collection.

‘Hermione, look! She’s waking up.’

‘Don’t crowd her, Ron. She’ll probably be a little woozy when she wakes up fully.’

‘Relax, ‘Mione. The Healers said that she would make a full recovery.’

‘I know but the damage to her side was really bad.’

Helen’s eyes opened fully at that. ‘How bad?’ She asked.

Hermione looked surprised for a moment but quickly recovered.   
  
  


‘Helen! You’re awake.’ She said with a smile.

‘Yeah. How bad is it?’

‘You’ll have a few scars but otherwise you’ll be completely fine.’

‘How long will the recovery time be?’

‘A few weeks.’

‘I think this was a sign that I shouldn’t be here.’

‘Be where?’ Ron asked with a confused look on his face.

‘Here in London. I should have moved to New York as soon as I got back.’

‘Well, I’m glad you’ve come to that conclusion. I just wish you didn’t have to get severely injured before you did.’

‘I know. I guess I’m just really stubborn.’

‘That you are.’

‘Kingsley said you’ve got two months off for recovery.’

‘Should I just quit now then?’

‘It might be a good idea.’

‘Where is Kingsley?’

‘He just left.’

‘Damn it. Talk about bad timing.’

‘Don’t joke about that when you’re in a hospital bed.’

‘Relax, Hermione. I’m going to be just fine.’

‘I know. I just panicked when Ron said you had fallen unconscious. I thought that you might have... you know.’

‘I know but you’ll have to try a lot harder to get rid of me for good.’

‘I won’t try at all.’

‘Nice to know you still want me around after all this time.’

‘Of course I do, Helen. You’re my best friend.’

‘And you are mine.’

‘Get some rest, mate. You’ll be here overnight and you’ll want to be well rested for tomorrow when Mum takes you home. You know how much she’s gonna fuss over you.’

‘I know and she’s more than entitled to do so. I could have gotten killed. Your mum is allowed to fuss over me if that will make her feel better.’

‘We should leave you to rest. Let’s go, Ronald.’

‘I’m coming. Bye, mate.’

‘Bye, Ron.’

‘Sleep well, Helen.’

‘Thanks, Hermione.’

Helen gave them a little wave as they left and fell asleep as soon as she was alone. She dreamt about how Bucky would react if he was here and she smiled at the thought of him fussing over her and his worried expression on his face. She missed him so much.

The next morning she was discharged from St Mungo’s and was taken back to the Burrow by Mr and Mrs Weasley. They set her up in a makeshift bedroom they made in the living room because Mrs Weasley didn’t want her going up and down the stairs. She burrowed herself into the covers of her bed and fell asleep, dreaming about Bucky and Steve and the life they had lived together in the 40s.

When she woke up a few hours later Mrs Weasley immediately began fussing over her. She put ointment on her wound and then re-bandaged it before making her some chicken noodle soup to eat. As she ate it she thought of the time that Steve had gotten really sick with a cold and she made him some chicken noodle soup to make him feel better. It was the day that Steve had called Bucky a mother hen and she laughed silently at the memory of it. It was also the day that Helen had shared a bed with Bucky for the first time. She remembered how flustered he had gotten when he thought that she had interpreted his question as him wanting sex. It was so sweet how embarrassed he was. It showed that he really cared when he said that he didn’t want to pressure her and he’d wait until she was ready before asking her for sex. She remembered how amazing it felt to be sleeping in his arms, how right it felt. She knew in that moment that there was no one else that she’d rather be with. She only wanted Bucky for the rest of her life because she realised that the way she felt content and safe in his arms that night meant that he was the one for her. And it killed her to know that she’d never sleep beside him again. That she would never kiss him again or even see him again. It hurt far worse than the lingering pain from her injury did.

After she had finished eating the soup Mrs Weasley took the bowl away and washed it before coming to sit beside her.

‘How are you feeling, dear?’

‘A little sore but otherwise okay.’

‘That’s good, dear.’

‘Thanks for the soup, Mrs Weasley. It was very good.’

‘You’re welcome, dear.’

‘Are Ron and Hermione going to be here later?’

‘Yes, they’re coming after they finish work. They’ve been very worried about you, dear. We all have.’

‘I know. I should have paid more attention. Maybe if I had then I wouldn’t be hurt at all.’

‘Don’t do that to yourself, Helen. You can’t keep thinking about the what ifs. It’ll drive you mad. Besides, we’re all just glad that you’re okay now.’

‘I’m sorry I worried all of you.’

‘We worry because we care about you. Don’t apologise for that.’

‘I just hope that Ron’s not too traumatised after seeing me get hurt like that.’

‘He’s fine, dear. Once he found out that you were going to be alright he calmed down.’

‘Was anyone else hurt?’

‘No, dear. Apart from a few scratches and bruises everyone else got out fine. Ron seems to think that they targeted you on purpose. Hermione told him to be quiet because she thought that nobody needed to hear that.’

‘Sounds like them.’

‘Speaking of Hermione, she told me that you’re thinking about moving to New York.’

‘She told you that?’

‘She did. Have you made a decision?’

‘I have but something is holding me back.’

‘What’s holding you back, dear?’

‘I want to go. I really do. I think it’s the right thing for me to do but I just can’t get it out of my head that I’ll be leaving everyone here behind.’

‘Don’t worry about that, love. We’ll all come and visit you when we can.’

‘I just feel like I’ll be abandoning Teddy. He won’t understand why I’m leaving. I’m afraid that he’ll think that I’m leaving forever. I don’t want to do that to him. I know how upset I was when Sirius had to leave to go on the run. I don’t want him to feel like I did back then. I promised myself that I’ll always be there for him. That I would be the godparent that Sirius was unable to be for me. I don’t want to let him down.’

‘You could never let Teddy down, Helen.’

‘I’m abandoning him to go to New York.’

‘You’re not abandoning anyone, dear. You’re following your heart. And as for Teddy, I’m sure Andromeda would be more than willing to visit you in New York with him and I’m sure you’d come back and visit him.’

‘I suppose so.’

‘Don’t let anything hold you back from doing the right thing for you.’

‘I won’t. Thanks, Mrs Weasley.’

‘You’re welcome, Helen. So I take it that this means you’re moving to New York?’

‘Yes. I’m moving to New York.’

‘I’m so proud of you.’

‘Hermione will be too. She’s been nagging me to move there the minute we left.’

‘I’m sure she’ll be ecstatic when you tell her the good news.’

‘Oh, she will. I don’t think she could be happier if she tried.’

As both Helen and Mrs Weasley predicted Hermione was overjoyed when she heard the news and could hardly contain her excitement. Ron had a more sedated reaction but you couldn’t deny that he was happy for his friend.

Finally confirming the decision to move made Helen feel better. She was so happy that she almost forgot that she had been badly injured and wouldn’t be able to leave for New York for another month. In the back of her mind she wondered what Steve’s reaction would be when he heard that she had gotten herself seriously injured. But she couldn’t think about that now. The only thing on her mind was her move to New York and the thought of being close to Steve, and in turn being close to Bucky, all the time. It was one of the best feelings in the world and she couldn’t wait to go.

  
  



	13. The Magic Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen moves to New York and tells Steve and the others about her magic.

* * *

A little over a month later Helen was ready to move to New York. She had resigned her post as Assistant Head Auror and had packed her bags. Kingsley was a little disappointed when she told him but he understood why she was leaving. Before she left his office he gave her permission to tell Steve and the rest of the Avengers about her magic, which surprised Helen. Kingsley simply brushed off her thanks and told her that he couldn’t have her live in constant fear over being found out by the people she loved. She had his express permission to tell them about her being a witch as long as they swore that they wouldn’t tell anyone else. Helen was sure that the Avengers could keep a secret and that this wouldn’t faze them. Thor was a literal God for crying out loud. They probably wouldn’t blink an eye at Helen being a witch after having met Thor.

Speaking of the Avengers she had texted Natasha a couple of weeks ago to tell her that she’d be moving to New York. The fellow redhead replied with excitement saying that they couldn’t wait for her to get here and that Steve especially was excited. She then got a message from Tony telling her that he had arranged for his driver Happy to come and pick her up at the airport and take her to the Tower. She told him thanks and sent him her flight information. Steve hadn’t quite gotten a handle on how to use a phone properly so she was unable to text him for now but Tony assured her that he’d be much further along by the time she got there as he was teaching him how to get the hang of it.

It made her happy to know that Steve and Tony were continuing to spend time together and she hoped that they would soon turn their friendship into a romance. According to Nat they were very close in doing so but whenever one of them tried to ask the other out they’d clam up and change the subject. It was very infuriating to watch and Natasha and Pepper had both begged her to intervene as soon as she got there. She had even got a message from Clint telling her to kick Steve’s ass into gear before they all exploded from the sexual tension.

Hearing all of this made Helen all the more eager to leave. She was going to have serious words with Steve. He had promised her that he would ask Tony out by the time she got back and from the looks of it that wasn’t going to happen. She left for New York tomorrow so unless a miracle happened Steve was still going to be too afraid to ask.

Sighing at the thought she continued to pack the last of her things. Hermione came as she was placing the final item of clothing into her suitcase and stood next to her bed.

‘Hi, Helen.’

‘Hey, ‘Mione.’

‘How’s the packing going?’

‘I’ve just finished.’ Helen said as she zipped up her suitcase.

‘So you’re all ready to go then?’

‘I guess I am.’

‘Are you excited?’

‘Of course I am.’

‘Are you sure? You seem a little off.’

Helen looked up and saw that Hermione’s face was filled with concern and she sighed. She really needed to stop worrying her friends like this.

‘I’m happy about moving, Hermione. I’m just a little annoyed, that’s all.’ She said soothingly.

‘Annoyed about what?’

‘Steve still hasn’t asked Tony out.’ Helen said with an annoyed huff.

‘Ah. Well, men are just strange that way. You can tell them that the person likes them back until you’re blue in the face but they still won’t ask them. I mean, look at me and Ron. It took us years as well.’

Helen took a moment to think back on what Ron and Hermione’s relationship was like before they got together. At times it was a disaster. There were a few times that they had explosive arguments and sometimes they went weeks without speaking to each other. They were definitely meant to be together. After they went on their first date the tension that always hung around them disappeared just like that.

‘Yeah, I suppose. I just never thought that rejection would be the thing that held Steve back from doing something he wants to.’

‘How so?’

‘When the war broke out Steve was determined to enlist even though it was highly unlikely that they would accept him. He enlisted like five times and got rejected each time. But that didn’t stop him from enlisting a sixth time and that was the time he got accepted. I mean, Steve was devastated each time he got rejected. He would sulk for days, sometimes weeks, but it didn’t stop him from trying again.’

‘He’s the resilient type then?’

‘Yeah but maybe this rejection is one time too much for him.’

‘I thought you said that Tony returned his feelings.’

‘He does.’

‘Then why is Steve afraid he’ll get rejected?’

‘He doesn’t know that Tony likes him back. He would if he asked him out but alas that hasn’t happened.’

‘Can’t you just tell him that Tony likes him?’

‘He wouldn’t believe me if I did.’

‘Just tell him anyway. It might give him the push he needs to actually ask him out.’ The brunette suggested.

‘That’s not a bad idea. Thanks, Hermione.’

‘Anytime.’

‘I’m really going to miss you, you know.’

‘I know and I’m really going to miss you.’

‘Promise me that you and Ron will visit me?’

‘As soon as we both have time off from work, we’ll be on the first flight there.’

‘I can’t wait.’

‘Me neither.’

The two embraced and let out a few tears as they held onto each other. Being apart was going to be hard but they both knew that it was the right move. Helen just wished that it didn’t rip her heart in half.

The next day Helen woke up and got ready to go to the airport. Mr Weasley had packed her four suitcases into George’s van that he sometimes used for shipping products for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Meanwhile Mrs Weasley prepared a large breakfast for Helen, consisting of sausages, eggs and bacon. She ate it gratefully and chuckled when Ron managed to sneak in a plateful of his own.

‘Are you ready to go, Helen?’ Mr Weasley asked as he entered the kitchen.

‘Yes, I just need to put my coat on.’

‘Don’t worry, dear. You’ve got plenty of time. George knows the way to the... airport. Is that what it’s called?’

Helen nodded. ‘That’s the right word, Mrs Weasley.’

‘I can’t wait to see one of the planes up close.’ Mr Weasley said enthusiastically.

‘Dad, you can’t get close to the planes unless you’re actually going on one.’ Ron explained with an eye roll.

‘That’s not very good.’ Mr Weasley said with a frown.

‘Don’t worry, Dad. You’ll still be able to see the planes.’ George assured.

‘That’s better news. I’ve always wanted to see one.’

‘Oh, Arthur.’ Mrs Weasley said with a fond shake of the head.

‘We better hurry up though. You need to be at the airport at least an hour before your flight takes off.’

‘Relax, Hermione. The airport’s only half an hour away. We’ve got time.’

‘I don’t want Helen to miss her flight, Ronald.’

‘She won’t, ‘Mione.’

‘Would you two stop bickering so we can actually get Helen to the airport?’ George said in an annoyed tone.

‘What a good idea, George.’ Hermione said a little smugly.

‘Stop glaring at Ron, Hermione.’ Helen said, chuckling slightly.

‘I’m not glaring at him. I just think he shouldn’t joke about you missing your flight. I know how important this is to you.’

‘It’s fine, Hermione. I know he’s just kidding.’

‘Alright, kids. Enough talking. Let’s get to the airport.’

At Mr Weasley’s words everyone went out the front door and into George’s van. Once everyone had their seatbelts on George started to drive and half an hour later they had arrived at the airport.

Twenty minutes later Helen had checked in her bags and said goodbye to everyone at the gate. She gave one last wave to them before she went through the gate. Five minutes later she was buckled into her seat and a further five minutes later the plane had taken off.

She snuggled further into her seat and decided to take a ten minute nap before the food came out. She dreamed about Steve’s face when she told him exactly why she was in New York. He was overjoyed and they hugged. But then Steve’s face transformed into Bucky’s and she felt a pang of longing as she took in his features. He said something to her but she couldn’t make it out. He the reached out to touch her and he had just taken her hand when she was startled awake by someone calling her.

‘Excuse me, ma’am?’

Helen shook herself awake and looked at the stewardess. ‘Yes?’

‘Would you like the chicken or the beef?’

‘Oh, um, the chicken, please.’

The stewardess nodded and handed her a little tray of food. She thanked her before she tucked in. The meal wasn’t the best but it filled a hole. After she had finished she put the empty tray down and went back to sleep. It was an eight hour flight to New York so she might as well get some sleep before she got there. There wasn’t any point in being exhausted when she arrived.

A few hours later she heard the captain saying that they would be landing in ten minutes so she shook herself awake and waited for the plane to land. She was so excited. She was finally here and she couldn’t wait to get off the plane.

Luckily she didn’t have to wait too long because before she knew it she was at baggage claim waiting for her suitcases to come around the weird conveyer belt thing.

After collecting all four cases she made her way over to the arrivals area and saw a large sign that had ‘Helen Potter’ written on it. It was being held by a large dark haired man who she assumed was Happy, Tony’s, well technically Pepper’s, driver. Tony must have described what she looked like in great detail because Happy seemed to recognise her as soon as he spotted her.

‘Helen, I presume?’

‘Yes.’

‘I’m Happy Hogan. Tony sent me to pick you up and take you back to the Tower.’

‘Tony mentioned it. It’s nice to meet you, Happy.’

‘Likewise. I’ll take your bags for you.’ He said gruffly.

‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t mention it.’

Happy put her suitcases on this metal trolley thing and she followed him as he wheeled it out of the airport. He led her to a limo which shocked her slightly but then again it was Tony so it wasn’t that surprising.

After putting her suitcases in the boot, Happy opened the door for her and she got into the limo. It was very spacious and comfortable. A few minutes later they were off and Helen watched the familiar streets of New York go by. After another few minutes they arrived at the Tower and she grinned at the thought of seeing Steve and the Avengers again.

Happy parked in an underground garage and helped her out of the limo. He then got her suitcases out of the boot and carried them up to the Tower with Helen following him. She grinned as the elevator opened onto the Common floor where all of the Avengers hung out.

Unfortunately only Tony was there to greet her, which was a shame because she’d have liked to see them all right away. But it was still touching that Tony had decided to wait for her to get here so she ran right into his arms when he opened them for a hug.

‘Welcome back, kid.’

‘I’m not a kid and you’re not that much older than me.’

‘We’re ten years apart, kid.’

‘Still doesn’t give you the right to call me kid.’

‘Fine. I’ll come up with a new nickname for you.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome. It’s good to have you back, Helen.’

‘It’s good to be back. And it’s nice to see you again, Tony.’

‘Likewise. We’ve really missed you here. Cap especially.’

‘How’s he doing?’ Helen asked, her eyes lighting up at the mention of her super soldier best friend.

‘He’s alright. I think he’ll be much happier now that you’re here permanently though.’

‘I can think of a few other things that make him happy.’ Helen said slyly.

‘Not as happy as this though. He was practically bouncing off the walls when Natasha told him that you would be moving here.’

Helen chuckled. ‘I can definitely imagine him doing that.’

‘Was he always like that?’ Tony asked curiously.

‘I guess so. He wasn’t always Captain America, you know.’

‘I know. So was he actually fun before he became Cap?’

‘He was a little less serious before. I think fighting in the war really brought out his serious side, though it was always there.’

‘Was he really that small?’

‘Oh yeah. A couple of inches shorter than me and a lot skinnier too. He was still the same person though.’

‘Born to be Captain America, was he?’

‘Definitely. He was always getting into fights because someone said something disrespectful. One time he got into a fight with a guy because he booed at an advert showing soldiers fighting in the war.’

Tony laughed at that. ‘Oh, he sounds like a little firecracker.’

‘He was certainly a handful. He used to drive Bucky up the wall half of the time.’

‘Do you guys ever talk about Bucky when you’re together?’

‘All the time. Steve has gotten it into his head that there’s a way to bring Bucky back. He won’t let it go and it’s really annoying me. But that’s Steve. Once he gets an idea into his head he won’t let it go.’

‘I can tell him to back off with it. I’ll get Nat to do it. He always listens to her.’

‘No, it’s okay. It’s not Steve’s fault. He just wants to make me happy and he knows brining Bucky back would be the thing that would make me happy.’

‘How does he think that he’s going to get Bucky back?’

‘Time travel. He thinks that a machine could be built and he could go back to the time just before Bucky fell off the train and bring him back to this time.’

‘No one has ever been able to build a time machine and I don’t think anyone’s going to make a breakthrough anytime soon.’

‘I know that. I know that it’s impossible for Bucky to come back. But if you try telling Steve that he won’t listen. He’s too stubborn.’

‘You know, there’s an exhibit at the Smithsonian that honours Bucky. I think it might help you if you go and see it.’

‘Thanks, Tony. That sounds like a good idea.’

‘It’s always helpful to get some closure.’

Just then a door flew open and a blond super soldier came rushing through it.

‘Helen!’

She barely had time to get in a ‘Hello’ before Steve was squeezing the air out of her with a big bear hug.

‘I missed you so much.’ Steve said after he let her go.

‘I missed you too.’ Helen replied with a wide smile.

‘I can’t believe you’re here.’

‘Well, you better believe it, Captain, because I’m not going anywhere.’

‘I thought I told you to stop calling me Captain.’

Helen rolled her eyes. ‘That was seventy years ago, Steve.’

‘Are you ever going to stop calling me it?’

‘Nope.’

‘I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it then.’

‘Tony calls you Capsicle, Steve. That’s way worse than calling you Captain.’

‘I’ve blocked that out.’

‘I thought you liked it when I called you Capsicle.’ Tony said with a pout.

‘I’d prefer it if all of you just called me by my first name.’

‘That’s no fun, Cap.’

‘Can we just forget about nicknames for a second and get Helen settled into her room?’

‘Happy’s already put her suitcases in her room.’

‘Can I take her to her room?’

‘Such a gentleman, Captain Rogers. Of course you can.’

‘Let’s go, Helen.’

‘Thank you for letting me stay here, Tony.’

‘You’re welcome, sweetie. You’ll always have a place here with us.’

Helen gave Tony one last smile before she turned back around and followed Steve to her new room.

Her new bedroom was spacious and airy. It was decorated in pastel shades of red and yellow. Steve must have told Tony that she favoured those colours and it was nice of him to customise her room before she arrived. The bedsheets were plain white though. He must have thought that she would have liked to use her own bedsheets and it was very thoughtful of him. As she walked further into the room she saw that she had her own kitchen area and an en-suite. It was more than she had been expecting but it certainly was welcome. It reminded her of her old flat back in London.

‘Do you like it?’ Steve asked with a smile.

‘I do. Did you tell Tony that I liked the colours red and yellow?’

‘I told him that you wanted your wedding colours to be red, gold and white. We both thought it would be nice for you to have your room decorated in your wedding colours, that it would bring you some comfort.’

‘It’s very nice of you, Steve. And tell Tony thanks as well.’

‘I will.’

‘How are things going between you two?’

‘We’re fine.’

‘But you’re not dating yet.’

‘Damn. I take it that Nat told you.’

‘Yes. I got texts from both her and Pepper saying that it was driving them up the wall.’

‘Pepper? How does she know about my crush on Tony?’

‘I told her.’

‘She hasn’t told Tony, has she?’

‘Relax, Steve. She hasn’t said anything.’

‘Did she, uh, tell you how Tony feels about me?’

‘She did.’

‘What did she say?’

‘If you had actually asked him out like we discussed then you would know how he feels.’

‘I know. I’m sorry, Helen. I chickened out.’

‘Steve, what’s wrong? Why are you too afraid to ask Tony out?’

‘I don’t think I could handle the rejection.’

‘You do realise that you got rejected from the Army five times, right?’

‘I know.’

‘So, why are you afraid of rejection all of a sudden? It never stopped you from enlisting over and over again.’

‘I just couldn’t take it if Tony rejected me. It would hurt me too much.’

‘What if I told you that he wouldn’t reject you?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘If I told you that Tony likes you back, would you ask him out?’

‘Yes but how do you know that he does?’

‘I just do.’

‘Have you asked him?’

‘No but I’ve talked to Pepper.’

‘Is that what she told you? That he likes me?’

‘Yes.’

‘What if she’s wrong?’

‘She’s not.’

‘But what if Tony has gotten over me?’

‘It’s been a month, Steve. I highly doubt that he’s moved on already.’

‘I don’t know.’

‘You don’t know what?’

‘If I can ask him.’

‘You just said that if I told you that Tony likes you back then you’d ask him out.’

‘Are you completely sure though?’

‘Yes. I’d never lie to you, Steve.’

‘I know. I’ll definitely ask him.’

‘Don’t force yourself, Steve.’

‘No, I have to do this. If I don’t do this now then I never will.’

‘I’m proud of you, Steve.’

‘Thanks, Helen. I’ll leave you to get settled in.’

‘I’d like to tell you and the others something first.’

‘It can wait, Helen. You’ve had a long flight. You need to rest.’

‘This is important, Steve.’

‘It’s not more important than your health. You need to get a good night’s sleep.’

‘It’s eight o clock.’

‘You’re exhausted, Helen. I don’t care what time it is. Rest and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.’

‘Fine. I forgot how stubborn you can be.’

‘You forgot? Really?’

‘Well, I certainly wanted to forget.’

‘Get some rest, Helen. I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Goodnight, Steve.’

The next morning Helen woke up a bit later than usual but still early enough that she was one of the first people up. Steve was the only one on the Common floor when she entered it. He was downing a bottle of water, trying to cool down his sweat soaked body.

‘Morning, Steve.’ She said with a smile.

‘Morning, Helen.’

‘Where have you been?’

‘Out a run.’

‘I can see that. You gonna take a shower or are you just going to drip sweat on the kitchen floor?’

‘I’m going to take a shower, you joker.’

‘I’m just kidding, Steve.’

‘I know but I’m going to take one anyway.’

‘It’s nice to know that you can make decisions by yourself.’ Helen teased.

‘Hey, I’m Captain America. I’m an expert at decision making.’ 

‘Whatever you say, Captain.’

‘God, I missed you. Don’t ever leave me again.’

‘I’ll try not to.’

‘What did you want to talk about yesterday?’

‘I wanted to tell you all something important about me.’

‘Besides, you being a time traveller?’

‘Yes.’

‘Whatever it is, Helen, it won’t change how I feel about you. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.’

‘Thanks, Steve. I feel the same about you, you know.’

‘I do know.’

‘Where is everyone anyway?’

‘Tony and Bruce are in their labs working on science stuff. Clint and Thor are lying in and Natasha is doing a workout routine in the gym.’

‘When will everyone be up here?’

‘Usually in an hour.’

‘I can wait until then. Go have your shower.’

‘Okay. I’ll see you in ten.’

After Steve had left Helen made herself some buttered toast and a pot of coffee. Once she was halfway through eating Natasha and Bruce entered the floor. Bruce gave a little wave before making a beeline to the pot of coffee that Helen had made earlier and poured himself a large mug.

Natasha didn’t immediately rush to the coffee pot and instead sat down beside Helen. ‘Good morning.’

‘Good morning, Natasha.’

‘How are you?’

‘A little jet lagged but otherwise okay.’

‘Understandable. Did you sleep well?’

‘I did. You?’

‘I slept fine.’

Bruce came over and sat beside them next. ‘Good morning, Helen, Natasha.’

‘Good morning, Bruce.’

‘Morning, Bruce.’

‘How was your first night here, Helen?’

‘It was good.’

‘Any jet lag?’

‘A little.’

‘You’ll be fine in a couple of days, I’m sure.’

‘Thanks, Bruce.’

‘You’re welcome.’

Just then Steve reentered the kitchen, freshly showered and dressed.

‘Good morning, everyone.’ He greeted.

‘Morning, Cap.’

‘Good morning, Steve.’

‘Are Clint and Thor not up yet?’

‘You know Clint, he likes to sleep in for as long as he can when he doesn’t have a mission.’

‘I still don’t understand how Thor can still be sleeping though. He’s a God. I thought that he wouldn’t need much sleep.’

‘I think it’s more of a novelty for him than an actual need.’

‘That makes sense, I suppose.’

‘I don’t think we’ll ever fully understand Thor.’ Natasha said with a chuckle.

‘I’ll never understand his obsession with pop tarts.’ Bruce added.

‘Clint would disagree with you. He was the one to introduce them to Thor.’

‘They’re a little too sugary for my taste but each to their own, I guess.’

‘I’m not their biggest fan.’

‘I could eat a few.’

‘Of course you could, Steve. You can eat enough for all of us without feeling full.’

‘Maybe not that much.’

‘What about you, Helen? Do you like them?’

‘Not really.’

‘Ha. You’re outnumbered, Steve. Three to one.’

‘Alright. I’m outnumbered.’

‘Why are you outnumbered, Cap?’ Tony asked as he entered the kitchen and poured himself a large cup of coffee.

‘I’m outnumbered over pop tarts.’

‘What?’

‘Nat, Helen and Bruce don’t like pop tarts and I do so I’m outnumbered.’

‘Ah, I get it. Are Point Break and Legolas still not up yet?’

‘It’s not past twelve yet. Clint only gets up after then and Thor likes to copy him for some reason.’ Natasha pointed out.

‘How do they manage to get up for missions if they sleep in all the time?’ Helen asked with a frown.

‘Well, it doesn’t affect Thor because he’s a literal God. As for Clint, I have no idea how he does it.’

‘Maybe we should wake them. Helen said she has some important news to share with us.’

‘Relax, Steve. They’ll be up in twenty.’

‘If they’re still asleep a minute after then I’m going in and waking them myself.’

‘Ooh. Captain America giving threats.’

‘Shut up, Tony.’ Steve said fondly.

Exactly twenty minutes later both Clint and Thor came into the kitchen. Clint was barely awake while Thor was filled with energy as he snagged the box of pop tarts and shovelled them in his mouth.

‘Morning, everyone.’ Clint said groggily as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

‘Morning, Clint.’ Everyone echoed.

‘So, what is it that you wanted to talk to us about, Helen?’ Steve asked as Clint gulped down his coffee and Thor demolished the box of pop tarts.

‘It can wait until everyone is finished eating.’

‘If you say so.’

A few minutes later everyone had finished their respective breakfasts and Steve ushered them all into the living room for Helen’s announcement.

‘Is there something wrong, Helen?’ Natasha asked once they were all seated.

‘No, everything’s fine. I just have something important to tell you all.’

‘You can tell us.’ Bruce encouraged.

‘Yeah, we won’t judge.’ Clint added.

‘I can safely say that there will be no judgement from any of us, Lady Helen.’

‘Guys, let her talk.’ Steve scolded.

‘It’s okay, Steve.’ Helen placated.

‘You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.’ Tony said.

‘No, I want to. I just don’t know if you’ll believe me.’

‘Hey, Thor over here is an actual God and we all fought aliens a few months ago. Nothing can surprise us anymore.’

‘I guess I’ll just come out and say it then. I’m a witch.’

‘That’s not a very nice thing to call yourself.’ Clint said with a frown.

‘Lady Helen means that she is actually a witch. She possesses magical powers and can perform spells.’

‘Yes. That’s exactly it. Thank you, Thor.’

‘You’re welcome, Lady Helen.’ Thor said with a big grin.

‘I didn’t think witches actually existed.’ Tony said, looking a little shocked.

‘You don’t know about it because we made it that way. Hundreds of years ago witches and wizards were prosecuted and killed for being what they were. They made the decision to hide themselves from ordinary people, who we call Muggles, because it was becoming increasingly unsafe for them to live amongst them. They formed a secret world of their own that is completely separate from the Muggle world. As time went on wizards and witches were believed to be a myth as we worked very hard to make sure that no one remembered any different. Even today where magic is more accepted we still hide ourselves. It’s just the way it’s always been. Most are afraid that we’ll be exploited if Muggles find out the true extent of what are magic can do. So we keep hidden.’

‘If you don’t want people finding out about all of this stuff, then why are you telling us now?’ Clint asked.

‘In rare circumstances Muggles are allowed to know about magic. For example if a witch or wizard marries a Muggle or if a Muggle couple has a magical child. In this case I got express permission from the Minister of Magic, that’s our version of a President, to tell you all. He deemed you worthy of knowing since you’re superheroes. However he has asked that you keep this to yourself. Of course Pepper is allowed to know and Fury as well, although I’m pretty sure that he already knows since Kingsley knew his name when I told him.’

Clint snorted. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if Fury did know. He’s a master spy and the leader of SHIELD. They probably have a division dedicated to stuff like this.’

Natasha nodded. ‘That’s true.’

‘Will you all promise not to tell anyone else about this?’

‘You have our word, Lady Helen.’

‘I speak for everyone here when I say that we won’t tell a soul.’ Steve added.

‘Can you tell us a bit more about your magic and stuff?’ Tony asked.

Helen nodded and answered all their questions as truthfully as possible. She smiled when they all seemed fascinated by the things she was telling them. Thor wasn’t surprised at all though. He admitted to knowing about her magic all along. In turn Helen wasn’t at all shocked by this. Thor was a God. He must have powers that can sense these things and she was sure that he had seen magic before.

After everyone had finished asking questions Helen headed off to her room for a bit. She wanted to finish unpacking the last of her things. She was halfway through doing so when Steve knocked on her slightly open door.

‘Hey, Steve. Come on in.’

‘Hey, Helen. What are you up to?’ He asked as he leaned against the wall with his arms folded.

‘Just finishing unpacking the rest of my stuff.’

‘How’s it going?’

‘I’m almost finished.’

‘That’s good. Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘Were you going to tell Bucky about your magic?’

‘Yes, of course. I was actually planning on doing it after Bucky came back from one of his missions but I died before I could.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry you never got the chance.’

‘Stop that, Steve. I feel like all you do is apologise.’

‘I don’t mean to. I just want you to be happy.’  
  


‘I know.’

‘I’m going to take care of you, Helen. I’ll always be here when you need me. You’re my best friend and it’s what Bucky would have wanted.’

‘Thanks, Steve. I’ll do the same with you.’

‘I can take care of myself.’

‘So can I.’

‘We’ll take care of each other then.’

‘Always.’

  
  


  
  



	14. The Smithsonian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week after moving to New York Helen visits the Smithsonian to see the memorial of Bucky.

* * *

A week had passed since Helen had moved to New York and she had settled in perfectly. She really enjoyed living at the Tower and Steve and the other Avengers being there was an added bonus. She was closer than ever with Steve and continued to get close to Pepper and the others. It was nice to be living with people that she loved and though it hurt her to be apart from her family back in England she knew that they would come to visit her as often as they could. It was better for her here. She was actually happy being here. She didn’t have to pretend to be for the sake of others. She was genuinely happy and content.

Although one thing continued to bother her. She was unable to visit Bucky’s grave. It was really because he didn’t have one but still it bothered her. She wasn’t able to have that closure that visiting graves often brought. She remembered how much it helped her to visit her parents’ grave back in Godric’s Hollow. It eased the burden their deaths had put on her shoulders by knowing that they were resting in peace. That their bodies hadn’t been violated or lost in any way. Hearing the conformation that Bucky didn’t have a grave just reminded her of the fact that they never actually found his body. The fact that Bucky’s body was frozen in the Alps hurt her more than anything. He would never be at peace being immersed in ice and snow like that.

So when Tony asked her if she was ever going to visit Bucky’s memorial at the Smithsonian museum she seized the opportunity to do so.

‘Where is the museum?’ She asked.

‘It’s in Washington DC.’ Tony said as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

‘Is that far from here?’ Helen asked as she took a sip of her tea.

‘It’s a couple of hours drive.’

Helen nodded thoughtfully. ‘Do you think that I could get there today without Steve knowing?’

‘Why don’t you want him to know?’ Tony asked curiously.

‘He wouldn’t approve. He thinks that seeing anything to do with Bucky would just upset me.’ Helen replied with a frown.

‘Would it?’

‘Of course it would but I need to do this. That’s what Steve doesn’t understand. I need to go and see this memorial in order to have closure. I’ll never be able to move on with my life if I don’t get actual evidence that Bucky is gone.’

‘I understand that.’ Tony said in sympathy.

‘Could you sneak me out?’

‘I can definitely arrange it. But what if Steve asks where you are?’

‘Could you and the others distract him until I get back?’ Helen pleaded.

‘If that’s what you want then we’ll do it.’

‘Thanks, Tony.’ Helen said giving him a quick hug.

‘No problem. I’ll call Pepper and she’ll arrange a car for you.’

‘Can’t Happy just drive me?’

Tony shook his head. ‘He’s driving Pepper to a meeting later.’

‘Who’s going to drive me then?’ Helen asked.

‘Pep will find someone trustworthy and reliable.’

‘Could- could one of you come with me? I don’t know if I want to go alone.’ She said sadly.

‘Of course. I’ll get Natasha to go with you.’

‘Thank you for doing all this.’ She said with a grateful smile.

Tony grinned. ‘Hey, you’re one of us now and we make sure our own is taken care of.’

‘You’ll make sure that Steve doesn’t find out, right? I want to tell him myself.’

‘Of course we will. Us Avengers are master distractors, especially Thor.’ Tony said confidently.

‘I’m going to go talk to Steve for a bit. I have something I need to talk to him about.’

Tony frowned, looking a little confused. ‘I thought you weren’t going to tell him about you going.’

‘It’s not about that.’

‘Oh. Is it a secret between best friends?’

‘Something like that.’ She said with a secretive smile.

‘I won’t pry then.’

‘I never accused you of doing so.’

‘Just making sure.’

‘Okay. I’ll see you later, Tony.’ She said, giving him a small wave.

‘Bye, Helen.’

A few minutes later she was knocking on Steve’s closed door, opening it when she heard his voice yell for her to come in.

Steve was sitting on his bed sketching when she came in. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’ Helen replied, sitting down beside him.

‘How are you?’

‘I’m okay. You?’

‘Fine.’

‘What are you drawing?’ Helen asked, peering at the pages.

‘Just the usual.’ Steve said as he closed his sketchbook.

‘What’s the usual?’ She asked curiously.

‘Just familiar stuff.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like you. Bucky. Peggy. The Commandos. My ma.’

‘Oh. What was you she like? Your mother.’

‘She was kind and caring. She was a very loving mother, always taking care of me when I got sick. She was a nurse and was amazing at her job. My dad died before I was born so she raised me on her own. She was the best mother I could have asked for.’ Steve replied with a fond smile.

Helen returned his smile. ‘She sounds wonderful. What was her name?’

‘Sarah.’

‘Sarah. I like that name. Did you look like her?’

‘I had her hair and nose. She said I looked a lot like my dad but I only saw the one picture of him and it was in black and white. She would tell me I had his eyes but you couldn’t tell if I actually did because the photo wasn’t in colour like it would be now. But I believe her. She would never lie to me.’

‘How did your dad die?’

‘He died in the First World War of a mustard gas attack.’

‘I’m sorry, Steve.’ She said, patting his shoulder in sympathy.

‘It’s okay.’

‘Did you know anything about him?’

‘Just that his name was Joseph and that he loved me and my ma very much.’

‘That’s all that really matters.’

‘What were your parents like?’ Steve asked.

‘They were very kind and brave. They would do anything for me and they loved me more than anything in the world.’

‘They sound amazing. I think my ma would have got along with your ma.’

‘They definitely would. Both loved their only child with all their heart and were the best kind of mothers.’ She said with a chuckle.

‘Your mother’s name was Lily, wasn’t it?’

Helen nodded. ‘Yes. Did Bucky tell you?’

‘Yeah. He also said that your dad’s name was James and it freaked him out a little bit.’ Steve said, looking a little amused.

‘He did say he found it weird.’ Helen said, thinking back to that conversation they had all those years ago, the night before Bucky shipped out to fight in the war.

Steve snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘He doesn’t even go by James. I don’t know what he was so freaked out about anyway.’

‘It is a little weird.’

‘No, it’s not. No one has called him James since he was five.’

‘I guess.’

Steve took Helen’s hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. Helen smiled at him and squeezed his hand back.

‘He loved you so much and I know that if he is alive that he’ll do anything he can to come back to you.’

‘He’s not alive, Steve.’ Helen said with a frustrated sigh.

‘Maybe not but he will be.’ Steve said confidently.

‘You can’t bring someone back from the dead.’

‘Not even with magic?’ Steve asked with a raised brow.

‘No. Not even with magic.’

‘What about time travel?’ Steve pressed.

‘It’s not possible to travel that far in the past.’

‘You did.’ The blond pointed out.

Helen shook her head sadly. ‘That was a fluke. It would never happen again.’

‘You don’t know that.’ Steve said in a soothing tone.

‘I do.’

‘Stop being so negative. You and Bucky are soulmates and if fate brought you together before it will bring you together again.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do say so.’

‘Alright then.’

‘Don’t give up hope, Helen.’

‘I’ll try not to.’ She said with a sad smile.

‘You better not.’ Steve said in mock sternness.

‘I promise that I won’t.’

Steve gave a single nod. ‘Good.’

‘How’s it going between you and Tony?’ Helen asked, swiftly changing the subject. She didn’t want to talk about her and Bucky anymore.

‘Things are good.’ Steve replied with a sigh.

‘But not good enough.’

‘No but I’m getting close to asking him out.’

‘You said that yesterday and nothing happened.’ Helen said, crossing her arms in frustration.

‘Well, maybe something will happen today.’

‘I hope so.’

‘Hey, I’ll do it.’

‘Steve, at the rate you’re going it’ll be next year before you even get close to asking him out.’

‘Hey! I’m not that bad.’ Steve said, turning bright red with embarrassment.

Helen rolled her eyes with reluctant fondness. ‘Yes, you are. Yesterday you asked him if he wanted to go out to the balcony.’

‘Fine. I messed up that time. But I’m not going to do it again.’

‘You better not.’

‘I won’t.’

‘You’ll get there eventually, Steve. You always do.’ Helen encouraged.

‘It’s because I have you at my side.’ Steve said, giving her a fond look.

‘Don’t sell yourself short, Steve. You can manage just fine without me. You did before you met me and you did after I died.’

‘I wasn’t alone though. I had Bucky.’

‘Bucky supported you but he wasn’t the one who did all those things. You were the one who became Captain America through the serum. Erskine chose you, not Bucky, to receive it because you were a good man. You were the one who saved Bucky and the others at Azzano. You were the one who led the Howling Commandos into battle. You were the one who became a national icon and hero. It was all you and nobody else.’

‘Thanks, Helen. You and Bucky always believed in me. I think that’s what pushed me to do all those things.’

‘You would have done them anyway. You were always meant to be Captain America.’

‘You think so?’ Steve asked in a hopeful tone.

Helen nodded, giving the blond’s hand another squeeze. ‘You were chosen for a reason, Steve, and I don’t think Erskine could have picked a better man for the job.’

Steve kissed the top of her head in gratitude. ‘You’re the best.’

‘So are you.’

After a few more minutes of talking Helen left Steve’s room and put on her coat so she could go to the Smithsonian. Tony and Pepper had arranged for Happy to take her after the man had insisted on doing so. Helen tried to protest, saying that Pepper’s meeting was more important than her going to a museum. But Pepper said that she could find her own way to her meeting and that this was more important than a meeting. Tony backed her up, saying that this would be good for her so in the end Happy was taking her and Natasha to Washington DC.

She made her way down to the entrance of the Tower where Natasha was waiting for her.

‘Hi, Helen.’ The spy greeted with a smile.

‘Hey, Nat.’ Helen said, returning the smile.

‘You ready for this?’

‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’ Helen said with a sigh.

‘I’m here for support if you need it.’ The red haired agent said, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

‘Thanks, Nat.’

‘Are you ready to go?’ Natasha asked.

‘Yes. Is Steve being distracted?’

‘Yes. Tony’s taken him down to his lab.’

‘Wonderful.’

‘Indeed.’

‘Shall we go then?’ Helen asked.

‘Yes. Happy’s waiting outside.’

‘Let’s go then.’  
  


Helen and Natasha linked arms and walked out to the car.

Half an hour later they were well on their way to DC. Tony had texted them five minutes ago saying that Steve didn’t suspect anything yet which was a good sign. Because once Steve got something into his head he never let it go until he had the answer. So they needed to hold him off from wondering as long as physically possible.

‘How are you feeling about this?’ Natasha asked.

Helen gave a little shrug. ‘Alright. I mean it’s not going to be nice seeing a big sign that says my fiancé is dead but it’s something I have to do. And at least he died as a hero.’

‘You’re very brave, Helen. I don’t know if I could go and see a memorial dedicated to my dead lover.’

‘Are you seeing someone right now?’ Helen asked curiously.

‘No. I’ve mostly had one night stands for the past few years.’

‘Would you like to have someone?’

‘Yes but they’d have to do a lot to win me over. I like my life the way it is.’

‘So did I before I met Bucky.’

‘Really?’ Nat asked, sounding a little shocked.

Helen smiled wistfully. ‘Yeah. I was happy being single for the rest of my life before I met Bucky. I could have been alone forever but meeting the love of your life, your soulmate changes everything.’

‘Must have been nice.’

‘It was. I hope it happens for you.’

‘Me too. And I hope you see Bucky again.’

‘So do I but we both know that it will never happen.’

‘Stranger things have happened.’ Nat said.

Helen ran a frustrated hand through her hair. ‘People coming back from the dead is impossible.’

Natasha shrugged. ‘I thought aliens existing was impossible but then I faced them in a battle.’

‘I guess so.’

‘Don’t give up hope.’

‘Everyone keeps telling me that.’ Helen said with a furrowed brow.

‘It’s because we all care. We don’t want you to give up. It’s not good for you.’

‘It may not be good for me but it is realistic.’

‘I don’t want to tell you what to do. I know Steve has been badgering you about it.’

‘He has but he means well.’

‘He may mean well but all he’s doing is upsetting you.’

‘He doesn’t mean to.’

‘I know he doesn’t. But the last thing you need is to keep being reminded that Bucky is gone.’

‘Steve thinks we can bring him back. Do you think that as well?’

‘It’s definitely possible if Thor gets involved.’

‘What if he can’t?’

‘Don’t think about that right now. Focus on the fact that Thor is trying to bring Bucky back.’

‘If anybody can bring someone back from the dead then it would be a God.’

‘That’s true.’

‘You’ll make it through this, Helen. You’re the strongest person I know.’

‘I’d say the same thing about you.’

‘Girls, we’re ten minutes away.’ Happy’s voice called from the front.

‘Thanks, Happy.’

True to Happy’s word, five minutes later they pulled up outside the Smithsonian. After thanking Happy the two of them got out of the limo and entered the museum. Natasha led her to the section that held the exhibits of Captain America and the Howling Commandos. She glanced at the mural of Steve in his uniform, swept her gaze past said uniform on display along with the other Commandos’ uniforms and let her eyes linger a little longer on Bucky’s dark blue uniform.

Finally she made it to the big glass sign that held Bucky’s memorial. Her breath hitched at the life sized image of him etched out onto the glass. He was just as she remembered him to be. So handsome and brave. She read every word on the memorial.

It read:

“A Fallen Comrade

  
James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes

_When Bucky Barnes first met Steve Rogers on the playgrounds of Brooklyn, little did he know that he was forging a bond that would take him to the battlefields of Europe and beyond._

Born in 1917, Barnes grew up the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom, Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. After winter training at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin, Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian front. Captured by Hydra troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, depravation and torture. But his will was strong. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, now Captain America.

Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, The Howling Commandos. Barnes’ marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed Hydra bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European Theater.

Bucky Barnes

1917–1944.”

Helen read all of this with tears streaming down her face. The way the memorial described Bucky was spot on and she was thrilled that they had not only honoured Bucky’s friendship with Steve but also how much of a hero he was in his own right. It killed her to read about Bucky suffering in Azzano but her heart filled with pride at the thought of him staying strong throughout. And he really did. Even in the aftermath of his capture and subsequent rescue he never once faltered or broke down. Despite having more than enough cause to do so he put his own feelings aside and focused on helping to win the war. And that was what made him a true hero. He put others above himself. He always took care of Helen and Steve before he took care of himself and he sacrificed so much to help win the war. She had fallen in love with a hero.


	15. The Captain and the Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Helen and Natasha’s help Steve finally asks Tony out.

* * *

A couple of days after her visit to the Smithsonian Helen decided to tell Steve about it. As she predicted he was more concerned than angry and was upset that she couldn’t trust him enough to tell him. In the end though he understood why she did it but asked for her to tell him next time. Helen agreed and the matter was dropped for the most part.

‘What was it like?’ Steve asked curiously.

‘It was surreal. Seeing you and Bucky honoured as national heroes, it was amazing.’ Helen said with a small smile.

‘Did it upset you seeing Bucky’s memorial?’

‘Yeah. I cried pretty much the whole time.’

‘You shouldn’t have gone then. You clearly weren’t ready.’ Steve said in frustration.

Helen sighed tiredly. ‘You’re never ready for this kind of thing, Steve. But you’ve got to do it. Seeing Bucky being hailed as a hero more than made up for having to read that he had died. He became the man I always knew he would be.’

‘He did it all for you.’

‘He was amazing. Even after I died he still found the strength to carry on fighting. He had every reason to just give up completely but he didn’t. He stayed strong right up until he fell. He was a hero in every way and I’m so glad that he’s remembered as one.’ Helen said with watery eyes.

‘He was one of the best men I had ever met. If anyone deserved to die a hero’s death then it was him.’

‘He died in the best way possible. Though we both know that it would have been better if he hadn’t died at all.’

‘I wish I could have saved him. Maybe if I did he would have crashed into the ice with me and you two would be together now.’ Steve said guiltily.

‘Don’t think about the what ifs, Steve. It’ll drive you crazy.’

‘Why does it have to be this way?’

‘Be what way?’ Helen asked with furrowed brows.

‘Like this! Where you’re miserable without Bucky and there’s practically nothing I can do to bring him back.’ Steve said, throwing his arms up in frustration.

‘I am happy. I’m happier here than I was back in England.’ Helen said, squeezing Steve’s shoulder in comfort.

‘But not as happy as you would be if Bucky was here.’

‘No but it’s not a total loss. I have you and the others.’

‘Is that enough?’

Helen sighed. ‘It has to be.’

‘That doesn’t answer my question.’

‘It’s enough for now.’

‘It shouldn’t have to be.’ Steve said stubbornly.

‘But it is.’

‘It’s not fair.’

‘Life isn’t fair, Steve.’

‘That’s a bit cynical.’

‘Maybe it’s the truth.’ Helen said with a shrug.

‘I don’t want to believe that.’

‘Neither do I, Stevie.’

‘Then we just have to hope that life is fair.’ Steve said with a determined look.

‘Let’s just hope that it’s fair to us.’

‘It will be. I’ll make sure of it.’

‘Speaking of making sure of it, why haven’t you asked Tony out yet?’

‘Don’t start, Helen.’

Helen rolled her eyes. ‘I’m not trying to start anything. I just want to know why you haven’t asked him yet.’

‘I want it to be just right.’

‘What do you mean?’ She asked.

‘I want the moment I ask him out to be perfect. Like when Bucky asked you out.’

‘It doesn’t have to be perfect, Steve.’

‘Bucky asked you out in the sweetest and most perfect way. I want to do the same for Tony.’

Helen patted Steve’s hand. ‘You don’t have to make it perfect. What makes it perfect is you asking in the first place.’

‘But I want to make it special.’

‘Steve, even if Bucky hadn’t given me flowers I would have still agreed to go out with him. Him asking me out was the most important thing.’

‘I just want Tony to feel special when I ask him.’ Steve said with a sigh.

‘You don’t make him feel special when you ask him out. You make him feel special when you take him out on that first date.’

‘Did Bucky make you feel special when he took you out the first time?’

‘He did.’ Helen said with a wistful smile.

‘He took you dancing, right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You really enjoyed it, didn’t you?’

‘I did. I told you about it afterwards, right?’

‘You did and it was amazing to see you and Buck look so happy.’

‘It was a good first date. Of course I’m lacking experience in that department. That date with Bucky was my first date ever.’

Steve looked shocked at this. ‘Really? A beautiful girl like you not having a hundred dates before Bucky? I don’t believe it.’ 

‘Stop flattering me, Steve.’

‘I’m serious. You’re beautiful, Helen. Inside and out. How come others didn’t want you before Bucky?’

‘I never said that no one wanted me. I got plenty of offers but I just wasn’t interested in dating anyone. Not until Bucky.’

‘Wow. What was it about Bucky that made you changed your mind about dating?’ Steve asked curiously.

‘I don’t know if there was a specific thing. There was just something about Bucky that called out to me. Called out to my soul.’

‘Like soulmates?’

Helen smiled widely. ‘Yeah. Something inside me screamed out that Bucky was the one for me. It took me a little while to listen to it but once I did it was so worth it.’

‘I understand. It’s like a deep feeling inside you that you can’t exactly describe but you know exactly what it means.’

‘Is that how you feel about Tony?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then you need to ask him out. If Tony is your soulmate then you need to do everything in your power to make sure he knows it.’

‘What if he doesn’t feel the same way?’ Steve asked with a pout, which looked ridiculous on him.

‘I thought the same thing at first when I realised I liked Bucky but in the end I had nothing to worry about. It turned out that Bucky had been trying to ask me out for weeks but I was too oblivious to it.’

Steve chuckled. ‘I remember that. He was panicked that you didn’t like him.’

‘It wasn’t that. I just wasn’t used to the methods he was using. Most guys who asked me out just came out and asked. I didn’t realise he was trying to ask me out.’

‘He was trying to be subtle. He wanted to make sure that you liked him before he asked you out. He didn’t want to make things awkward for you if you didn’t like him back. I told him he was being a wimp but he didn’t listen.’ The blond explained.

‘He should have listened to you. Maybe we would have started going out much sooner if he had.’

‘Maybe. I guess we’ll never know.’

‘I guess not.’ Helen frowned.

‘What I do know though, is that you and Bucky had a beautiful relationship. He loved you so much and you loved him just as much.’

‘Yeah, we were so in love. I just wish I could apologise for leaving him like that.’ She said, her frown deepening.

‘You shouldn’t have to apologise for that. It wasn’t your fault that you were sent back to the time you came from. I know that if you had a choice you wouldn’t have left so don’t apologise.’

‘I miss him so much. I wish I could have told him how much I loved him one last time.’ Helen said, blinking back tears.

‘You didn’t have to. He already knew.’ Steve said, squeezing her hand in comfort.

‘I still would have liked to tell him.’

‘I’m sorry that you two didn’t get to say goodbye.’

‘Me too. I would have liked to see him one last time.’

‘Maybe you’ll see him again.’

‘Maybe. What I do know is that you haven’t missed your chance with Tony.’

‘I don’t want to be happy if you aren’t.’

‘Seeing you happy is all I need.’

‘I need you to be happy as well.’

‘I will be. Ask Tony out.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘What if he says no?’

‘He won’t.’

‘How can you know that?’

‘I just do and you will too once you ask him.’

‘If you say he will say yes then I believe you.’

‘I’d never lie to you, Steve.’

‘I know and I’d never lie to you.’

‘Except for when you tell me that me and Bucky will be together again.’

‘I’m not lying, Helen. I really believe that you will.’

‘Do you?’

‘Yes. I believe in true love and fate. And I know that fate wouldn’t separate from your true love forever.’

‘Fate can be cruel.’ Helen pointed out.

‘Not to people like you and Bucky.’

‘I don’t know if it works like that.’

‘Well, I do.’

‘You really believe that I’ll see Bucky again?’

‘I do.’  
  


‘Then I believe you. You’ve never steered me wrong before.’

‘Neither have you and that’s why I’m more determined than ever to ask Tony out.’

‘Good.’

The next day Steve had concocted the perfect plan to ask Tony out on a date. All he had to do was execute it. The only problem was his nerves were getting the better of him. Which was why Helen and Natasha were sitting in his room trying to help him overcome them.

‘You can do this, Steve.’ Natasha encouraged.

‘I don’t know if I can.’ The blond said with a sigh.

‘What happened to being determined to do it?’ Helen asked.

‘I just got nervous. I saw him standing there and I just panicked.’

‘It’s okay to be nervous, Steve.’ Helen soothed.

‘Why is this so hard?’ Steve said with a groan.

‘Only you know the answer to that, Cap.’

‘What’s holding you back, Steve?’ Helen questioned.

‘When Tony and I first met we got into this argument and said some horrible things to each other. I’m afraid that he’s still upset over it. I mean who would develop romantic feelings for someone you traded scathing words with?’

‘I’m going to tell you a story, Steve, and I want you to really listen.’ Helen said.

‘Okay.’

‘When my parents were at school together they didn’t get along at all. Well, it wasn’t that really. My mum just didn’t like my dad. Called him an arrogant toe rag all the time.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. When they were fifteen he asked her out for the first time. Her response was pretty scathing.’ Helen said with a chuckle.

‘What did she say?’ Steve asked.

‘She said she wouldn’t go out with him if it was a choice between him and the Giant Squid. That’s the monster that lives in the lake at the school. She even said he made her sick.’

Steve frowned. ‘How the hell did she fall in love with someone she hated?’

‘She didn’t hate him. She just hated the side of him that was arrogant and a bit of a bully. She actually admired him for the way he loved his friends and stuck up for others. She loathed his attitude but she didn’t hate him as a person.’

‘What changed?’ Natasha asked.

‘He grew up. He was fifteen at the time and you know how immature boys can be at that age. Plus he was spoiled by his parents so that kind of made him arrogant. But then he went through an emotional growth spurt of sorts and lost that arrogant bully thing he had going on. My mum liked what she saw and agreed to give him a chance. They ended up falling in love much like the way me and Bucky did.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yeah. See this picture here.’ Helen said, pulling out a picture of her parents on their wedding day. ‘You see how they look at each other. It’s the exact same way Bucky and I would look at each other. People can get off on the wrong foot but it doesn’t mean that they can’t fall in love.’

‘You’re right. They look so happy.’ Steve said with a smile.

‘They were.’

‘You look so much like your mother.’ Natasha observed.

‘I get that a lot.’

‘I’m going to go for it. Nerves be damned. I’m doing this.’

‘You go get your man, Steve.’

‘You better or I might just kick your ass.’

‘Way to be encouraging, Nat.’

‘I’m just giving him a little push.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll ask him. I can’t risk getting my ass kicked after all.’

‘So how are you going to ask him?’ Helen asked.

‘I figured I’d just come out and say it. I’ll tell him that I think he’s amazing and that I’d like to take him out on a date.’

‘Sounds good.’

‘You think it’ll work?’

‘Definitely.’

‘Good luck, Steve.’

‘Thanks.’

Twenty minutes later Helen and Natasha were watching from a hidden corner as Steve talked to Tony.

‘So, uh, I was wondering about something.’

‘Yeah?’

‘I think you’re amazing, Tony. You’re kind, funny, smart, handsome.’

‘You think I’m handsome?’ Tony asked with hopeful eyes.

‘Of course.’

‘Wow.’

‘I also think all the other things I said too. You’re one of the best fellas I know and I was wondering if you’d like to become my fella.’

‘Are you asking me out on a date, Rogers?’

‘Yes. Is that not... okay?’

‘No, no. It’s more than okay. It’s great actually.’

‘Is that a yes then?’

‘It’s a yes. I’d love to go on a date with you, Steve.’

‘Great. That’s good, I mean. I’ll, uh, pick you up at eight tomorrow?’

‘We live in the same building but sure.’

‘Great. I’m looking forward to it.’

‘Me too.’

From their secret hiding spot Helen and Natasha quietly cheered. Steve and Tony were finally going on a date.

The next evening Steve took Tony out on their very first date to a small diner in Brooklyn. Both had a good time and were going out again next week. Things were finally looking up.


	16. The Masked Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen meets a mysterious man who wears a mask that covers his whole face.

* * *

Six months had passed since Helen had moved to New York and things were continuing to go well.Steve and Tony were going strong and steady and their relationship was so sweet to watch. It was clear that they were in love with each other. Helen now knew what Steve meant when he said that he enjoyed watching her and Bucky’s relationship progress. It was amazing to see someone you loved so happy.

Though it seemed love was in the air for practically everyone at the Tower. Pepper had started dating Happy, Thor and Bruce had gotten together and Helen was pretty sure that Clint had a secret wife or girlfriend. The only ones who didn’t have romantic prospects were Natasha and Helen herself if you counted Clint as being in a relationship. Tony teased Natasha for being the only loner amongst them but Helen knew that she didn’t particularly care. It would take someone really special for Natasha to even consider dating as an option. She was content simply being an Avenger and a SHIELD Agent.

As for Helen she had gotten herself a job at SHIELD. After visiting the American Ministry of Magic, which she learned was called MACUSA, she found out that it had a special department for those who were employed in agencies such as the CIA and SHIELD. So she asked if there was a position available for her as an agent for SHIELD. Luckily there was and Helen was officially a SHIELD Agent also working for MACUSA. A large part of her job entailed her informing her magical superiors about what was happening in the Muggle world. She thought it was going to be fun to be working in both the Muggle world and the magical world and was looking forward to her first day in a couple of weeks.

As part of her job with SHIELD she needed to be trained in various combat styles. Natasha took care of helping her with most of them but she still had to check in with SHIELD’s Deputy Director Maria Hill. Which was where she was heading now. And she didn’t want to be late. If there was one thing that Maria Hill didn’t tolerate, it was tardiness.

Tony had offered to have Happy give her a lift there and Steve had even offered to take her on his motorcycle but she declined both options. SHIELD headquarters wasn’t that far away from the Tower and she could use the fresh air. She had been having tortured dreams of Bucky lately and she desperately needed to clear her head. A brisk walk would surely do that. Or at least she hoped it would.

Ten minutes later she arrived at headquarters and met Maria Hill.

‘Good afternoon, Agent Potter.’

‘Good afternoon, Commander Hill.’

‘How is your training going?’ Hill asked in a formal tone.

‘It’s going well. Natasha is a good trainer. I’ve mastered most of the things she’s taught me.’

‘That’s good. It seems as if you’ll be able to go on missions soon.’

‘I hope so. My life has been so quiet lately. It’ll be nice to have something to break it up.’

‘Indeed. Your superiors at your former job say you’re an excellent fighter with an amazing work ethic. We’re very happy to have you on board with us.’

‘Thank you.’

‘We do need to talk about your magic though.’

Helen nodded. ‘Of course.’

‘We have been in touch with MACUSA since SHIELD’s creation and we know how to hide uses of magic if we need to.’

‘I’m more than happy to not use magic.’ Helen offered.

‘The missions you’ll be going on won’t require you to use your magic much. However in emergencies you may need to use it. As a result you’ll only go on missions with agents who know about your magic.’

‘Clint and Natasha then.’

‘Exactly.’ Hill said with a nod.

‘You don’t have to hide your wand if you’re around either of them but I would caution you to hide it from civilians if you can.’

‘I can use a charm to make them forget I used magic if I need to.’

‘Good. Natasha tells me that you’re a couple of weeks away from being trained to full capacity. If everything goes right you’ll be going on your first mission very soon.’

‘Thank you, Commander Hill.’ She said gratefully.

‘I expect great things from you, Agent Potter.’

‘I’ll try to deliver them.’

‘That’s all I ask. You may go now.’

‘Thank you.’

Helen was walking back to the Tower when she saw a strange shadow flitting by in the distance. She tried to find it again and when she couldn’t she just shrugged it off as her imagining things. 

She was halfway to the Tower when she saw the shadow again. She had no idea where it was coming from and she couldn’t help but think that she was going crazy. There couldn’t possibly be anything there. She would have seen it by now.

Nonetheless her eyes continued to search for the shadow and when she saw it move towards an alley she followed it.

As she entered the dark and damp alley she immediately thought it was a bad idea and turned to go back, only to find the shadow was standing in her way. And the shadow wasn’t really a shadow after all. It was a person.

‘Um, hello?’ She called out.

The shadow person only grunted in response and from how deep the voice sounded Helen concluded that it was in fact a man.

‘Who are you?’ She asked cautiously.

She got a grunt in response again and she sighed in frustration.

‘If you’re not going to talk to me can you let me go home?’

‘No.’

Helen jumped back in shock as the man spoke for the first time. From the rough gravelly sound of his voice it looked like he hadn’t spoken in a while and she wondered why that was.

‘Why can’t I leave?’

‘Mine.’

‘What’s yours?’

‘You.’

‘I don’t know you.’

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t. Besides I can’t even see you. How am I supposed to recognise you?’

‘Can’t see.. me?’

‘No, I can’t. Can you come into the light please?’

‘Okay.’ He said quietly.

Helen held back a shocked gasp as the man stepped into the light. He was dressed from head to toe in leather and had scraggly shoulder length brown hair. What shocked her the most though was that his entire face was covered. The lower half of his face was hidden by a mask and his eyes were covered by goggles. He was also very tall, practically the same height as Steve and looked like he had a similar physique. Who was this man and why was he wearing a mask?

‘Is that.. better?’

‘Yes, I can see you.’

‘I see you too. You’re beautiful.’

‘Thank you. I wish I could say the same to you but I can’t see your face.’

‘Mask stays on during missions.’ He grunted.

‘Missions?’

‘Classified.’

‘I see. What’s your name?’ She asked.

‘I don’t have one.’

‘You don’t have a name?’ Helen asked with furrowed brows. How could he not have a name? Everyone had a name.

‘No.’

‘Then what do people call you?’

‘Asset.’

‘Is that your code name?’

‘That’s just what they call me.’

‘Who’s they? The people you work for?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why do they make you wear a mask?’ Helen asked with concern. Who could be so cruel to force this poor man to wear a mask all the time?

‘Hides my face so people can’t recognise me.’ He explained gruffly.

‘You’re a spy then?’

‘No.’

‘What are you?’

‘Classified.’

‘Were you following me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘I know you.’

‘But we’ve never met.’

‘We have.’

‘When?’

‘I don’t remember.’

‘Then how do you know that we’ve met before?’

‘You are familiar to me.’ He said slowly.

‘Maybe I look like someone you knew before.’ She said gently.

The man shook his head. ‘No. You are her. I can feel it.’

‘Who’s her?’

‘My person. My dorogaya.’ (Darling.)

‘You’re Russian?’

‘I speak Russian.’

‘You’re American then?’

‘I think so.’

‘Why can’t you remember?’

‘I was made to forget.’

‘You’ve got amnesia?’ She asked in concern. This poor man, she thought. He had been through so much. He shouldn’t be out wandering the streets like this. What kind of monsters did he work for?

‘I suppose so.’

‘This girl you speak of, were you married to her?’

‘No. I think we were... engaged.’ 

‘She’s your fiancée then.’

‘Yes.’

‘What happened to her?’ Helen asked in sympathy. She could certainly understand the pain of being separated from the person she loves. The pain of being apart from Bucky tore her heart in two. If this poor man had amnesia and was suffering from heartbreak as well then he had her full sympathy. Heartbreak was an awful thing.

‘I lost her.’ He said sadly.

‘She died?’

‘No, she’s still alive. I’m looking for her now.’

Helen gave him a comforting smile. ‘I hope you find her.’

‘I already have.’

‘I’m not her.’ She said gently.

‘You are and I’m going to get you to believe it.’

‘I don’t know you.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘Take off your mask and then I’ll tell you if I know you.’

‘I can’t. I’ll get in trouble.’

‘They don’t have to know.’

‘They always know.’ He said in slight fear.

‘Will I see you again?’

‘I’ll always come back to you.’

‘How do you know where to find me?’

‘I follow my heart.’

‘Can’t you just stay with me?’

‘I can’t. You have no idea how much I want to but I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘My boss is close by. He’ll know if I run away now. I have to do it when he’s away.’

‘Are you being held hostage?’ She asked in concern, moving forward to grab his arm.

‘Don’t worry about me, zaika. I can handle myself.’ (Bunny.)

‘I don’t want them to hurt you.’

‘I’ll be okay, Lyubimaya moya.’ (My beloved.)

‘Tell me you’ll come back. I want to see you again.’

‘I’ll always come back to you. Don’t you worry, kiska.’ (Kitten.)

‘Are you sure they won’t hurt you?’

‘They won’t. I’ve done the mission right. They have no need to punish me.’

‘Have they hurt you before?’ She asked in alarm.

‘No.’

‘Why don’t I believe you?’

‘Because you know me.’

‘Maybe I do.’

‘I have to go now, dorogaya.’

‘Okay.’

‘Ya lyublyu tebya, solnyshko moye.’ He whispered before gently caressing her cheek with the tips of his fingers. (I love you, my sunshine.)

And then just as quickly as he appeared he vanished from sight. It was almost like he hadn’t been there at all. It was strange situation and the man in the mask was even stranger. Who was he and why did he act like they knew each other? Surely she would remember if she had met him before. You don’t exactly forget a man whose face is covered by an odd looking mask. So who was he and more importantly why didn’t he know who he was? He didn’t even know his own name. What had happened to him and who did he work for?

She’d just have to wait until she saw him again to get more answers and she wondered when exactly that would be.

Two weeks had passed since her encounter with the mysterious masked man and she hadn’t told anybody about it, not even Steve. She was unable to wrap her head around it all herself so she couldn’t tell anyone else. Who was he? Was he even real? He vanished as soon as he appeared so maybe he really was an illusion. But then again they had a pretty long conversation so he had to be real. She couldn’t have had a whole conversation by herself without knowing it. He was real. He was definitely real.

But if he was real then who was he? He didn’t even know his own name. Was he really a person or was he actually a robot? He certainly didn’t act very human like so it was possible. But the caress on the cheek he gave her couldn’t have come from a robot. His fingers were so warm. They couldn’t belong to a robot. No, he had to be a real human being. But then why didn’t he know his own name? Was he just not given one or had he simply forgotten it? He did say he had amnesia so it was possible that he just forgot it.

And that brought her to her next question. If this man had amnesia then how was he so sure that he knew her? If his amnesia was so bad that he couldn’t remember his own name then how on earth could he know her? It just wasn’t possible. The man was an enigma. That she was certain about. And she looked forward to figuring him out.

A week later Helen was walking through the streets of Manhattan, heading towards Brooklyn to meet Steve for lunch when she caught sight of the shadow again. She smiled. He had come back for her just like he said he would.

She startled when she felt a strong hand grip her arm and drag her into an empty alley but calmed down when she saw who it was.

‘Hello again.’ She smiled in greeting.

‘Hello, Lyubov.’ (Love.)

‘You came back.’

‘I said I would.’

‘You did.’

‘Are you alright? No one has hurt you while I’ve been away, have they?’ He questioned in gruff concern.

‘No, I’m completely fine.’ She assured him.

‘Good. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.’

‘Where have you been?’ She asked curiously.

‘On a mission somewhere.’

‘Is it classified?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you ever take that mask off?’

‘Only when I’m at headquarters.’

‘I want to see what you look like.’

‘Isn’t this enough?’

Helen shook her head. ‘I want to be able to look into your eyes.’

‘I can take my goggles off.’ He offered.

‘I don’t want you to get into trouble.’

‘I won’t.’

‘If you’re sure then.’

‘Promise me that you won’t tell anyone that you saw me.’ He said urgently.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t want you to get hurt.’

‘Why would knowing you get me hurt?’

‘I have a dangerous job. I don’t want you getting in the middle of it.’

‘I don’t care. I want to see you.’ She said stubbornly.

‘I care. I can’t have you getting hurt because of me, zaika.’

‘What exactly do you do?’ She questioned.

‘It’s classified.’

‘And dangerous?’

‘Exactly.’ He said with a little nod.

‘I’m used to danger.’

‘Not this kind, kiska.’

‘You don’t have to protect me.’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘I can take care of myself.’

‘I just want you safe, solnyshko.’

‘I know.’

‘You still want to see my eyes?’

‘Of course.’

Very carefully he took the goggles off his face and Helen saw his eyes for the first time. They were a piercing icy blue and were rather captivating. And oddly familiar.

‘You’re right. I have seen you before. I recognise your eyes but I don’t know where from.’

‘I told you, dorogaya, you’re mine.’

‘I still don’t know you but you seem familiar.’

‘You do know me.’

‘Maybe.’

‘Do you not recognise me at all?’ He asked sadly.

‘I feel like I’ve seen your eyes before but I don’t know where.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘I don’t. Lots of people have blue eyes. You could be anyone.’

‘I’m not anyone. I’m yours.’

‘So you say.’

‘I don’t just say it. I know it.’

‘If you know me then tell me my name.’ She urged.

‘I don’t know it. In my head I call you my dorogaya. I see your face in my dreams but no one ever says your name.’

‘If you don’t even know my name then we’ve never met.’

‘I don’t know my own name. Why would I know yours?’

‘That’s true.’

‘Give me a chance, zaika. I will prove to you that we know each other.’ He begged.

‘I’ll try.’

‘Good.’

A crash suddenly rang out and the man flinched.

‘What is it?’ She asked in concern.

‘I have to go.’

‘Why?’

‘My mission is over. I have to go back to base.’

‘Don’t leave.’

‘I have to.’ He said, snapping his goggles back on his face.

‘Will I see you again?’

‘Of course.’

‘Okay.’

‘Proshchay, lyubov moya.Skoro uvidimsya. Ne zabyvay menya. Ya lyublyu tebya ochen mnogo.’ He whispered before caressing her cheek like he did the time before. (Goodbye, my love. I’ll see you soon. Don’t forget me. I love you very much.)

And just like the last time he vanished out of sight, leaving her more confused than ever.


	17. Tale As Old As Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen shares a romantic moment with the man in the mask and finds herself falling in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ballgown that Helen wears is the yellow ballgown from the live action Beauty and the Beast movie. The dance her and Bucky share is the dance that Belle and the Beast share in the movie.

* * *

A few months had passed since her last encounter with the masked man. She hadn’t seen him again and figured he was away on a long mission somewhere. It was nearing Christmas and the holiday festivities were well under way at the Tower. Tony had every floor in the Tower completely decked out with Christmas decorations, turning into a festive winter wonderland.

So far she had told no one about the two encounters she had with the masked man and it was really weighing down on her conscience. She hated lying to the people she loved but she just didn’t know how to tell them. How were you supposed to tell your friends that you were meeting with a masked man in an alley? They would surely freak out.

Which was why she hadn’t told any of her friends. Not even Steve who she promised not to lie to again. It killed her to have to lie to her best friend but she just couldn’t tell him. She didn’t know exactly how he would react but she knew it wouldn’t be a positive reaction. Steve was very protective of her and if he found out that she had been meeting a man who didn’t even show his face in an abandoned alley. He would freak out and she just didn’t want to deal with it right now.

It made her feel like the worst person in the world but she just couldn’t bring herself to tell him. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just tell him. He was her best friend and she should be able to tell him everything even if it resulted in him being angry with her. Which was why she had to come clean to him. If it caused a rift in their friendship then that’s just the way it would have to be. She couldn’t keep on lying to him. She had to tell him. No matter what the consequences were she had to tell him. Someone needed to know and that person was Steve. He was her best friend. She couldn’t lie to him anymore.

Sighing she knocked on his door and gave him a tentative smile when he opened it and let her in.

‘Hey, Helen. How are you?’ He asked with a big smile on his face.

‘I’m good, Steve. How are you?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Steve, I need to tell you something and I know you’re going to be mad but I just have to tell you.’ She said nervously.

‘Hey, calm down. I could never be mad at you.’ Steve said soothingly.

‘You will once I tell you what I’m about to tell you.’

‘What is it you want to tell me?’

‘A few months ago I met someone.’

‘What kind of someone?’ The blond asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘I met this guy in an alley.’

‘In an alley?!’ Steve yelled in outrage.

‘Don’t yell so loud, Steve. I don’t want anyone else knowing about this.’

‘No one else knows?’

‘No, I always tell you everything first.’

‘Who is this guy, Helen, and why were you meeting him in an alley?’ Steve asked sternly.

‘When I was walking back from a meeting with Hill I saw a shadow and I decided to follow it into an alley. The shadow turned out to be a man and we talked for a bit.’

‘About what?’

‘Just stuff.’

‘What is this guy called?’

‘He doesn’t have a name.’

‘How does he not have a name? That doesn’t make any sense.’ Steve said in frustration.

‘He’s got amnesia. He doesn’t remember his name.’

‘Why is he wandering the streets then? He should be in a hospital getting help with it.’

‘He says he has a job.’

‘What job?’ He asked.

‘He says it’s classified but I know he goes on missions.’

‘He’s an Agent then?’

‘He won’t tell me.’

‘Because it’s classified?’

‘Exactly.’

‘That’s not a good excuse, Helen.’ Steve pointed out.

‘I’m not dating him, Steve. I’ve only met him twice.’

‘What does he look like?’

‘I don’t know. He has to keep his face covered for missions. He wears a mask and goggles.’

‘So you haven’t seen his face at all?’

‘I’ve seen his eyes. He took his goggles off for me.’

‘How sweet.’ Steve deadpanned.

‘Stop it, Steve. He was confused and vulnerable.’ Helen scolded, hitting him on the arm.

‘Stay away from him, Helen.’ The blond warned.

‘You can’t tell me not to see him. He’s not dangerous.’ Helen chided, defending the man in the mask.

‘You don’t know that, Helen.’

‘Yes, I do. He told me that he wants to protect me!’

‘And you believe him?’ Steve said incredulously.

‘Yes!’

‘The guy won’t show his face, Helen! He can’t be trusted!’ Steve yelled in frustration.

‘Yes, he can.’

‘What makes you so sure?’

‘He’s never hurt me.’

‘You’ve only met him twice. He could be a serial killer or an assassin.’

‘He’s not a serial killer. He’s nice.’ Helen said confidently. She knew in her heart that the masked man was a good person.

‘Nice?!’ Steve spat.

‘Yes. He was very sweet.’

‘Are you dating this guy?’

‘No.’

‘Then why do you like him so much?’

‘I just do.’

‘You better not besmirch Bucky’s memory by wasting your time with that weirdo!’ Steve exploded, his face turning red.

‘He’s not a weirdo and I would never betray Bucky like that! I love Bucky more than anything. I still wear his dog tags, I still have the engagement ring he gave me on my finger, I take the picture of us onour engagement night everywhere I go. Don’t you DARE tell me that I’m betraying him! He’ll always be the love of my life and a guy I’ve met twice won’t ever compare to him,no matter how nice he is!’ Helen yelled with tears in her eyes.

‘I’m sorry, Helen. I know you wouldn’t move on so soon after Bucky. I overreacted. Can you forgive me?’

‘Of course.’

‘I’m still concerned about you seeing this guy though.’

‘He might not come back, Steve.’

‘If he does, just be careful around him.’

‘I will. I promise.’

‘I’m glad you told me.’

‘Me too.’

A few days after she confessed to Steve Pepper came to visit Helen.

‘You want me to attend a charity ball?’ Helen asked, unimpressed.

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t know if I can do that.’

‘Why not?’

‘I’ve never been to anything like that. I’ll look stupid.’

‘Believe me, Helen, you’ll look anything but stupid.’

‘I still don’t know.’

‘Go for me. Please.’

‘Is Steve going to be there?’

‘Yes, he’ll be going as Tony’s date.’

‘I don’t have to bring a date, do I?’

‘No.’

‘Then I’ll come.’

‘Great. I’ve picked out a nice ballgown for you. It should arrive tomorrow.’

‘Thanks, Pep.’

‘No problem. I’ll see you later, okay?’

‘Bye, Pep.’

The next day Helen’s ballgown was delivered and it was breathtakingly beautiful. It was pale yellow in colour with golden embroidery detailing the bottom of the skirt. It had cap sleeves and a ruffled vee shaped bodice. The skirt was flowy and full and had beautiful layers. It was far more than she deserved and she didn’t know if she could pull off something so stunning.

The ball started at eight and it was one o clock now so she started getting ready. After taking a long shower she put the gown on, using a little sneaky bit of magic to zip it up. She brushed out her wavy hair and placed a little section of it in a bun and secured it with a golden laurel leaf hair bobble. It physically hurt her to take off Bucky’s dog tags but she knew that Pepper would kill her if she showed up wearing them. So she took them off and placed them in her bag for the night. She wasn’t about to be parted with them so if she couldn’t wear them she’d carry them around in her little clutch all night. Pepper had picked out a golden tree necklace for her to wear with it so she put it on and had to admit that it looked nice. She put on matching gold earrings and fastened the straps on her yellow heels.

Once she was finished she looked at herself in the mirror and was shocked at what she saw. She looked absolutely beautiful. It was like she was a whole different person. Not even at the Yule Ball had she looked this breathtaking. Was this what Bucky saw every time he looked at her?

A knock at the door startled her out of her musings.

‘Come in!’ She called.

The door opened to reveal Pepper, looking stunning and sophisticated in a dark blue ballgown.

‘Hello, Helen. You look beautiful.’

‘Thank you. So do you.’

‘I wanted to tell you that a car will be here to pick you up soon. I have to go early to set everything up but Tony and Steve will still be here.’

‘Can’t I just make my own way there?’

‘I’m not letting you walk all the way there in heels.’

‘I can manage just fine.’

‘You’re going in the car I’ve arranged for you. End of discussion.’

‘Fine.’

‘Good. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.’

‘Bye, Pep.’

Half an hour later Helen was standing on her balcony enjoying the fresh air when she heard a noise coming from behind her. Thinking it was either Steve or Tony she didn’t bother turning around. Which was why she got a shock when a voice that was neither Steve nor Tony’s rang out.

‘Hello, dorogaya.’

Helen gasped and came face to face with the man in the mask.

‘How did you get in here?’

‘I have my ways.’

‘I’m not alone here, you know.’ She warned.

‘I know, Krasotka.’ (Gorgeous.)

‘How did you get passed my friends?’

‘They’re occupied with each other.’

‘Okay then. Why are you here?’

‘To see you, Lisichka.’ (Little fox.)

‘You haven’t come in months.’

‘I was busy but I’m here now, Malishka. I’ll never leave you again.’ (Baby girl.)

‘You can’t promise that. You have to leave for your job.’

‘I’ll always come back to you, Zhizn moya.’ (My life.)

‘I can’t stay long though.’

‘I can see that. Where are you going all dressed up like that?’ He asked curiously.

‘To a charity ball my friend is hosting.’

‘You look beautiful. You’re like an angel.’ He complimented.

Helen blushed. ‘Thank you. You’re very sweet.’

‘I want to dance with you, solnyshko moye.’

‘We can’t. You can’t go to the ball with a mask on.’

‘I didn’t say we were going to the ball, zaika.’

‘Then where are we going?’ She asked curiously.

‘Somewhere to dance, lyubov moya. You can’t be dressed like Belle from Beauty and the Beast without having a dance with your prince.’

‘How do you know about that movie?’

‘I saw it once. I can’t remember when.’

‘If I’m Belle, does that make you the Beast?’ She asked with a smile.

‘Yes. I am a monster after all, zaika.’ He sighed sadly.

Helen grabbed his masked face in her hands and kissed him on the forehead. ‘You’re not a monster. How could you think that? You’ve never once hurt me or tried to kill me. If you were really a monster then you would have done that already. The Beast wasn’t really a monster and neither are you.’

‘Yes, I am. You don’t know what I’ve done, dorogaya.’ He said sadly.

‘Maybe you made some mistakes in that past but that doesn’t define you now. The Beast needed Belle to bring out his human side. Maybe you need me to bring out yours.’

‘You already are. You make me a better person, Malishka.’

‘I haven’t made you anything. You’re already a good person.’

‘You’re the only one who believes that.’

‘Does anyone else’s opinion actually matter?’

‘No. Just yours.’

‘Then you’re a good person.’

‘Bog. Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she chem chto-libo. Vy ves moy mir. Ty svet v moyey temnoy zhizni. Nikogda ne pokiday menya, dorogaya moya.’ (God. I love you more than anything. You are my whole world. You are the light in my dark life. Never leave me, my darling.)

‘I have no idea what you just said.’

‘I’m just telling you how amazing you are.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Can I take you dancing now?’

‘If you know a place we can go.’

‘Don’t worry, krasivaya. I know the perfect place.’

‘Lead the way then.’

‘As you wish, krasivaya.’ (Beautiful.)

Ten minutes later she was being led through the dark streets of New York all the while staying hidden in the shadows. Not one person had spotted them which only solidified Helen’s theory of the man being a spy. After a few minutes of running through empty alleys and sidewalks the man suddenly turned a corner, pulling Helen along with him. He led her to a large rundown mansion.

‘Are you sure we should go in there?’ She asked hesitantly.

‘Relax, zaika moya. No one has been here in years. We won’t get caught.’

‘I trust you so if you say it’s fine then it’s fine.’

‘You have no idea how much that means to me, moya malen'kaya lyubov.’

‘You’re awfully sweet for a man who never shows his face.’

‘You’ll find I’m full of surprises, lisichka.’

‘You’ll have to teach me Russian one day.’

‘Don’t worry, Pchelka. I’ll teach you anything you want me to.’ (Little bee.)

‘You are just the sweetest masked man I’ve ever met.’

‘And you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. I’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you, kiska.’

‘Wow.’

‘What is it, lyubov moya?’

‘You saying that just reminded me of someone I used to know.’

‘Who?’

‘It doesn’t matter right now. We don’t have much time left and we’ve still got to have that dance.’

‘That we do, zaika.’

‘Shall we then?’

‘Of course, solnyshko.’

He gently grabbed her hand and led her through the mansion. You could tell that it hadn’t been used in years. Cobwebs dusted every surface and several of the windows were broken. Despite this Helen couldn’t help but feel that the setting was really romantic.

‘Where are we going?’

‘To the ballroom, of course.’

‘Oh. How silly of me.’

‘You’re not silly, pchelka. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.’

‘Thank you for the compliment. It was very sweet.’

‘You’re welcome, zaika.’

No words were said after that and soon they were walking into the ballroom and for being abandoned it sure was spectacular. The chandelier was still hanging from the ceiling and there was no real damage to anything in the room. Lit candles were surrounding the room, casting it in a warm glow. A CD player was sitting on top of the grand piano with a vase of red roses next to it.

‘You planned this, didn’t you?’

‘I did. I overheard you and that ginger haired woman talking about attending a ball so I came here and set it up so we could have a dance of our own.’

‘I should feel a little violated that you were watching me without me noticing but I don’t. What you did was so sweet and romantic.’

‘I’m glad you think so, dorogaya.’

‘I do. I really do.’

‘May I have this dance, Printsessa moya?’

‘You may.’

‘Good. Now all we need is some music.’

‘We do.’

‘Luckily I have a song put in the CD player.’

‘Put it on then.’

He pressed play and Helen laughed when she heard the opening music to the song ‘Beauty and the Beast’.

‘Did you plan that too?’

‘I might have got a little peek of your dress so I picked a song to match.’

‘How romantic of you.’

‘I’m trying to be for you.’

‘You’re doing a very good job.’

‘Thank you, milaya.’ (Honey.)

‘Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even friends. Then somebody bends. Unexpectedly.’

The masked man led her to the middle of the dance floor. She did a low curtesy to him and smiled as he bowed to her in return. Standing back up she held out her hands and he looked a little unsure for a minute but took her hands gently in his. They started swaying to the music and soon they were dancing a full on waltz.

As they spun around the ballroom Helen found herself falling in love with the man. She didn’t know how since she hadn’t even seen his face but she was definitely falling for him. She hadn’t felt like this since Bucky and she felt a twinge of guilt at the thought. She couldn’t betray Bucky like this. She just couldn’t.

‘Tale as old as time. Tune as old as song. Bittersweet and strange. Finding you can change. Learning you were wrong.’

Helen gasped as the man suddenly lifted her up and spun her around. She felt herself getting lost in him even though no part of his face was visible. She felt a lump form in her throat as he gently placed her back down and they continued dancing. She was in love with him. She had gone and fallen in love with someone else only two years after she lost Bucky. She was the worst fiancée in the world.

‘Certain as the sun. Rising in the east. Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the beast.’

Helen melted into his hold as he began to slow down. He gently spun her around once more as the final lyrics played.

‘Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the beast. Beauty and the beast.’

As soon as the song stopped they stopped as well. The man tightened his hold on her as they faced each other.

‘Yalyublyu tebya, moya dorogaya printsessa.’ (I love you, my darling princess.)

‘Don’t ever leave me.’

‘I will never leave you, lyubov moya.’

‘Good because I don’t ever want to be without you.’

‘Me neither, dorogaya. Let’s sit out on the balcony.’

‘Okay.’

‘What are you thinking about, printsessa?’ He asked once they had sat down.

‘I’m thinking about our dance.’

‘Did you enjoy it, lyubov?’

‘I did.’

‘Why do you look so sad then?’

‘I love someone else.’ She said reluctantly.

‘What?’ The man said in a devastated tone.

‘I love someone else.’

‘Who?’  
  
  


‘They’re dead but I still love them.’

‘How did he die?’

‘He fell off a train.’

‘Oh.’

‘I’m so sorry. It’s not fair to you. I shouldn’t be telling you that I love you when my heart belongs to someone else.’

‘You love me?’

‘Yes.’

‘I love you too, dorogaya.’

‘You don’t even know who you are. How can you love me?’

‘Loving you is the only thing I know how to do.’

‘I love my fiancé though.’

‘He gave you that ring?’

‘Yes.’

‘It’s very beautiful. It matches your eyes.’

‘He said that’s why he bought it.’

‘Do you think you could be with me?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Give me a chance, zaika. I don’t know who I am but as long as I get to be yours none of that matters.’ He pleaded.

‘We can’t be together if you won’t take your mask off. How would we kiss?’

‘Easily solved, lyubov.’

Helen was about to ask what he meant but before she could he pulled the mask of his face and kissed her passionately. She sighed but returned the kiss. The kiss was good, very good. It almost reminded her of the way Bucky would kiss her. So sweet and tender like she was the most precious thing in the world to him. The thought of Bucky made her break the kiss.

‘What’s wrong, zaika?’ He asked after she pushed him away.

‘I can’t do this.’

‘Why not?’

‘I can’t do this to him. I love him.’

‘But he’s dead.’

‘That doesn’t matter to me.’

‘Does that mean we can’t be together?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Lyubov moya, please give me a chance. I love you. I need you.’

‘I’ll try.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. God help me, I love you and I don’t think I can live without you.’

‘Me neither.’

‘You need to give me a little more time. I still love my fiancé.’

‘I understand. Take all the time you need.’

‘Don’t worry. I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, kiska.’

‘Promise me that you’ll come back.’

‘I will. I have a mission in a couple of days but as soon as it’s over I’ll come right back to you.’

‘Thank you. Just stay out of sight for now. My friend wants me to stay away from you.’

‘Are you going to listen to him?’

‘No. Nothing could make me stay away from you.’

‘O, moya dorogaya lyubov, ty zamechatel'nyy. Nikogda ne menyaysya. Vy sovershenny, kak i vy. Obeshchayu tebe, moya milaya devushka, kogda ya vernus, my ubezhim vmeste. Ya nikogda ne khochu byt' otdel'no ot tebya. Ya lyublyu tebya vsem serdtsem. Ty moya zhizn', i ya umru, chtoby zashchitit' tebya.’ (Oh my darling love, you are wonderful. Never change. You are perfect just the way you are. I promise you, my sweet girl, when I return, we will run away together. I never want to be apart from you. I love you with all my heart. You are my life and I would die to protect you.)

‘I love it when you talk Russian to me.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes.’

‘We’ll be together again soon, milaya moya. I promise.’

‘I know. I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you too, zaika.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, lyubov moya. Now let’s get you to the ball.’

‘Can’t I just stay with you until you have to go on your mission?’

‘I want that more than anything, zolotse, but your friends will get worried.’ (Treasure.)

‘I know. I just don’t want to be apart from you. You’re the only thing that’s made me feel alive in a long time.’

‘You do the same for me.’

‘When do you leave for your mission?’

‘A couple of days.’

‘Can you visit me before you go?’

‘I can’t, kiska. I have to go back to base before I leave. I won’t have any time to see you.’

‘Oh.’

‘Don’t be sad, zaika. I’ll come back to you as soon as it’s over.’

‘I’ll hold you to that promise.’

‘I won’t break it.’

Half an hour later the man had dropped her off outside the venue where the ball was being held.

‘Goodbye, Zorro.’

‘Zorro?’

‘Because of the mask.’

‘Who is Zorro though?’

‘He’s a movie character who wears a mask.’

‘Ah. Clever.’

‘You like it?’

‘If you like it then yes.’

‘Okay. I’ll call you Zorro from now on.’

‘Good.’

‘Are you going to give me a name?’

‘I told you that you’re my dorogaya.’

‘Is that your name for me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay, Zorro.’

‘Do svidaniya, dorogaya moya. Uvidimsya ochen' skoro. Ostavaytes' v bezopasnosti. Ya tebya lyublyu. Ty lyubov' moyey zhizni. Moye vse. Ya nikogda ne zabudu tebya, zhizn moya. Ya obeshchayu, chto nikogda ne sdelayu tebe bol'no. Ya skoro vernus' za toboy. Ya tebya lyublyu. Ya ne perestanu lyubit' tebya. Ya budu zashchishchat' tebya svoyey zhizn'yu. Ya lyublyu tebya vsem, chto imeyu.’ (Goodbye, my darling. I will see you very soon. Stay safe. I love you. You are the love of my life. My everything. I will never forget you, my life. I promise I will never hurt you. I’ll come back soon. I love you. I will not stop loving you. I will protect you with my life. I love you with everything I have.)

He kissed her on the lips one last time before putting his mask on and disappearing into the night.

‘Helen! There you are!’ Steve’s voice called out behind her.

‘Hey, Steve. Sorry I’m late.’ She said, turning around to face the blond.

‘You’re only half an hour late. Don’t worry about it.’

‘Pepper is going to kill me though.’

‘Probably. You walked here, didn’t you?’

‘Yes. I wasn’t going to take a car when I was perfectly capable of walking.’

‘I don’t doubt that but Pepper is going to be livid at you.’

‘Oh, I know she will.’

‘Good luck with that.’

‘Thanks, Steve. You’re such a good friend.’

‘Stop being sarcastic. I’m a great friend.’

‘I know.’

‘Are you okay? You seem off.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘You sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay then. Come on inside. The party’s only just started.’

Helen took one last look in the direction the masked man went off in before following Steve inside.


	18. A Conflicted Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen feels guilty over her feelings for the man in the mask and feels like she’s betraying Bucky. Meanwhile Steve tells her that they’re moving to DC and she later has another encounter with Zorro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who were confused as to why Helen didn’t realise that it was Bucky last chapter I want to clear some things up. First of all whenever they are meeting Bucky is wearing the full ensemble of mask and goggles so his face is completely covered and his voice is a little muffled. Second of all when Bucky takes off his goggles he’s still wearing the mask so his face hasn’t been revealed. It’s the same when he pulls off his mask when he kisses Helen in the last chapter, he’s still got his goggles on so no, Bucky’s face reveal hasn’t happened yet. Thirdly as to why Helen doesn’t think that they could be the same person she is in denial. As far as she’s concerned Bucky is dead and if he does come back then it’s not in this way. She will go back and forth over whether or not it could be Bucky as the story goes on.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

A week had passed since Helen had shared the dance with the man in the mask and she felt completely torn apart by it. She felt terrible about starting up a relationship with the masked man. Despite the fact that she loved him she just couldn’t get rid of the bad feeling inside of her. Being in another relationship felt like she was betraying Bucky and she never wanted to do anything like that to him. Bucky was the love of her life. She couldn’t do this to him. But at the same time the masked man, her Zorro, made her feel things she hadn’t felt since she last saw Bucky. How could she give him up now? But then how could she betray Bucky’s memory like this? No matter what she did she couldn’t win.

She was so withdrawn and drained over it that everyone in the Tower was extremely worried about her. They wouldn’t even let her go anywhere by herself for fear that she’d do something stupid. Well, she already had done something stupid. She had gone and fallen in love with a man whose face she had never seen and betrayed the love of her life at the same time. If Steve found out he would be livid.

She thought about calling Ron and Hermione to tell them about it but decided against it. She already knew what they would say anyway. They would tell her to follow her heart and normally that was good advice. In this case however it was the worst possible advice she could be given since her heart belonged to two different men. Why did she have to do this? She should have just told him to go away and never come back. If she had done that then she wouldn’t be feeling like the worst person in the world right now.

Speaking of Zorro he hadn’t been to visit her since he dropped her off at the ball. He still must be on his mission and she hoped it was a long one because she had no idea what she’d do if he showed up right now. She didn’t know if she’d be able to push him away or not. She loved him and she didn’t want to break his heart but Bucky was the only one for her. But Zorro was so sweet and loving. She couldn’t break it off with him. He made her feel like herself again. It was like being with Bucky again.

As soon as she thought of Bucky her eyes filled with tears. Why was she doing this to him? He didn’t deserve this. He loved her so much and he’d be devastated if he found out that she was with someone else. He would never move on with someone else. He was too good for that. So why was she doing it to him? She really was the worst person ever.

Bucky would be crushed if he saw her with Zorro and Zorro would be heartbroken if he saw her with Bucky. If Steve actually succeeded in bringing Bucky back through a time machine then she had no idea who she’d actually pick. She loved them both and though it was true that she did love Bucky more she deeply cared about Zorro. She couldn’t possibly choose between them. Even Bucky being dead didn’t make her decision any easier. She was torn between two different people and she had no idea what she was going to do.

Sighing in frustration she took the photo she kept of her and Bucky in her pocket and glanced at it. They were so happy together and it killed her that he wasn’t here. Being with Zorro only intensified her pain over losing Bucky. It was only two years since she had last seen Bucky. How could she betray him so quickly and with hardly any resistance?

She traced a finger over Bucky’s face lovingly. He was so handsome and charming. At times she couldn’t understand why he picked her of all people. She would never tell Bucky this though as he was quite insistent that she was the only who settled for him instead of the other way around. But she still thought that he was the good looking one out of the two of them. She was just Helen and he was suave, handsome and sweet Bucky. She was nothing compared to him especially now that she had so cruelly betrayed him like this.

She smiled at how happy Bucky looked in the photo. He was looking at her with adoring eyes. She could just imagine how his icy blue eyes would be sparkling in delight at the joy he felt over being engaged to her. Zorro’s eyes sparkled with that same delight whenever he took off his goggles. Now that she thought about it Zorro and Bucky had the exact same eye colour. The same piercing icy blue eyes that looked at her adoringly. Was it a coincidence that they had the same eyes? It had to be. Bucky couldn’t possibly be alive.

But then again it would explain how she fell in love with Zorro so quickly. If Zorro was Bucky then it would be completely understandable that she had fallen in love with him again without knowing it. But what if it wasn’t him? What if her mind was just tricking her into thinking it was so she would feel bad about betraying Bucky? She couldn’t betray him if Bucky and Zorro were the same person. Why was this so confusing? She should be able to tell whether or not Zorro was her supposedly dead fiancé. Why was it so difficult and why did Zorro never show his face? Did he not trust her enough? She’d have to ask him about it the next time she saw him, though she had no idea when that would be.

Was it possible to love two different people at the same time? Or did she just love Zorro because he reminded her of Bucky? She had no clue what the answer to either question would be and it was frustrating the hell out of her. Bucky was the love of her life. She shouldn’t be doubting whether or not she loves him just because some mysterious masked man comes into her life. She should have chosen Bucky. She shouldn’t have gotten involved with Zorro because now she was in too deep with him. She had fallen in love with him and she didn’t know how to stop. Just like she didn’t know how to stop loving Bucky as well.

She didn’t know what to do and she couldn’t go to Steve about it. He had expressly forbidden her from seeing Zorro again and she knew that if she so much as mentioned him Steve would go off on an angry rant. She didn’t know what the blond’s problem was anyway. Zorro was very sweet and kind once you got passed the fact that he work a mask. Steve had no reason to insult him like that. Zorro was a good person, not the monster Steve made him out to be. He loved her and he cared so much about her. A monster couldn’t feel all of those things. Zorro was a good person and nothing Steve could say would change her mind about it.

Of course she knew that nothing she said about Zorro could change Steve’s mind about him being a monster either. So the two of them were at an impasse of sorts. Neither would budge on their opinion and both were too stubborn to admit that the other might be right. It frustrated her to no end that Steve hated Zorro so much when he hadn’t even met him but she knew that there was nothing she could do to make him change his mind.

So she would have to continue meeting Zorro in secret and would have to sort out her conflicted feelings by herself. She didn’t need Steve giving her grief when she was already so overwhelmed by it all.

A knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts.

‘Helen? You in here?’ Steve’s voice rang out.

‘Yeah. Come in, Steve.’

‘Hey, Helen. What you up to?’ Steve asked as he entered her room and leaned against the wall.

‘Just looking over photos of Bucky.’ She sighed.

‘You haven’t done that in a while. What’s wrong?’ Steve asked in concern.

‘I just miss him, that’s all. Seeing pictures of him helps ease the pain of losing him a little.’

‘I know.’

‘Do you think it’ll ever get easier?’ She asked in a choked voice.

‘I don’t know.’

‘I don’t know if I can live without him.’ She sighed despondently.

‘He said the same thing after he lost you.’

‘Why did this have to happen?’ She lamented.

‘I don’t know. It’s not fair. You and Bucky should be together right now, living out your happily ever after.’

‘That’s just a pipe dream now, Steve.’

‘Not if I have anything to say about it.’ The blond said determinedly.

‘Bucky is dead, Steve. Nothing you can do will change that.’

‘I don’t want to live in a world where that’s true.’

‘You already are.’

‘How can you say that?’

‘Because it’s the truth.’

‘What happened to having hope?’

‘I can’t keep hoping that Bucky will suddenly come back. It’s killing me.’

‘What if Bucky does come back?’

‘I will always love Bucky and I’ll be thrilled if he comes back to me. But I can’t wait for the slight chance that he will. I’ve got to accept that he’s gone.’

‘I told you, Helen, the wish isn’t over yet. Bucky will come back.’

‘Who knows how long I’ll have to wait for that to happen? I can’t put my life on hold for it. I have to try and move on.’

‘Will you start dating?’ He asked with a furrowed brow.

Helen shook her head, glancing back at the photo of Bucky smiling, his strong arms wrapped around her waist. ‘No, Steve. I still love Bucky and I always will. I meant that I have to live my life without the hope of Bucky coming back.’

‘I’m sorry that you even have to make that decision.’

‘I know you are.’ She said with a small smile.

‘I’d do anything to make you happy even if it is impossible.’

‘I know and I love you for it.’

‘I love you too. You’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had.’

‘Apart from Bucky.’

‘Yeah, apart from Bucky.’

‘He loved you just as much.’

‘I know. I felt the same about him. He was my brother in all but blood.’

‘I wish we could see him again.’

‘Maybe one day we will.’

‘All we can do is hope.’

‘I know.’

‘Did you need to talk about something?’ Helen asked, changing the subject. She couldn’t talk about this anymore.

‘Huh?’

‘When you came in here you looked like you wanted to talk about something.’

‘Oh, yeah. I do.’

‘What’s up, Steve?’

‘Fury has assigned me to DC as a part of my work for SHIELD.’

‘You’re leaving?’ Helen asked, a little shocked at hearing this.

‘In a couple of weeks, yeah.’

‘Does Tony know?’

‘Yeah.’

‘He’s okay with it?’

‘He is. We agreed to try long distance for a bit.’

‘I suppose DC isn’t too far away.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Have you packed?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you sure you want to move to DC?’

‘I mean I don’t want to leave Tony or the others but it’s my job. I have to. Besides, DC isn’t so bad.’

‘It’s not. I’ll come visit you the first chance I get.’

‘About that, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.’

‘Steve, I have a job here.’ She protested.

‘Fury asked me if I wanted a partner and I said yes.’

‘And you picked me?’ She asked in shock. Surely anyone else would be better suited. Why would Steve choose her instead of one of his teammates?

‘There’s no one I’d rather pick to have my back.’

‘Except for Bucky.’ She pointed out.

‘Yeah, well, he’s not here. And you’re pretty great anyway.’

‘Thanks.’ She smiled.

‘What do you say?’

‘I’ll do it.’

‘Great. You better start packing. We leave in two days.’

‘Do we have a place to stay?’

‘SHIELD is providing an apartment for us.’

‘As long as I don’t have to share a room with you then I’m fine with it.’

‘It’s a two bedroom.’

‘Good.’

‘I’ll leave you to pack.’

‘Wait. How long have you known about this?’

‘A few days.’

‘And you couldn’t have told me sooner?’

‘I would have told you earlier, Helen, but you seemed upset and I didn’t want to bother you.’

‘You still could have told me.’

‘I didn’t want to stress you out even more.’

‘That’s sweet, Steve, but I would have been fine if you told me. I was just a little upset about Bucky, that’s all.’

‘I figured.’

‘I’ll be fine, Steve.’

‘I know. You’re really okay with moving to DC?’

‘Of course I am.’

‘Okay. I’ll see you later.’

‘Bye, Steve.’

The next day Helen was completely swamped with packing and decided to take a short break from it. She was walking through the park when she saw the shadow out of the corner of her eye. Knowing what it meant she hid behind a tree and waited.

‘Hello, zaika.’

Zorro was standing in front of her with his mask off but goggles still on, showing the loving and gentle smile on his face.

‘Hi, Zorro. I’ve missed you.’

‘I missed you too, dorogaya.’

‘How was your mission?’ She asked.

‘It was successful as always.’

‘You’re back early.’

‘It was a short mission.’

‘I figured. I still missed you though.’

‘I know, lyubov moya. I missed you too. I thought about you everyday.’

‘So did I.’

‘Have you been staying safe while I’ve been away?’ He asked with an undertone of concern.

‘Yes.’

‘No injuries?’

‘No.’

‘Good.’

‘Do you remember anything from your past?’ She asked suddenly.

‘Not really.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘I remember that you were a part of my past but that’s it.’

‘Really? You don’t remember your name or what you did?’

‘No.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry, kiska. It’s not your fault that I don’t remember.’

‘It’s not yours either.’

‘Can I hug you, zhizn moya?’

‘Yes.’

Zorro rushed forward and pulled her into a tight embrace. Helen returned the hug just as fiercely.

‘I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, Zorro.’

Zorro broke his tight hold on her just enough that he could capture her lips in a fierce kiss. They kissed passionately for a few minutes before breaking apart for some much needed air.

‘You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re mine.’ He said in awe, stroking her hair reverently.

‘I will always be yours.’ She promised fiercely, keeping the guilt out of her tone. She didn’t want to burden Zorro with thoughts of Bucky. It would only upset him.

‘And I will always be yours, milaya.’

‘One day we won’t have to meet in secret. I promise.’

‘And I promise you, solnyshko, I will leave my job and we will run away to be together.’

‘Why do we need to run away?’ She asked in worry.

‘My job isn’t exactly one that you can just quit.’

‘I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s with you.’

‘What about your fiancé?’ He asked reluctantly.

Helen sighed. She was hoping that he wouldn’t ask about Bucky. ‘I will always love him but he’s gone. I can’t get him back. You though, I can be with you. I can love you.’

‘You really want to be with me?’

‘I do.’

‘Oh, lyubov moya, you have no idea how happy that makes me.’ Zorro uttered before crashing his lips onto hers.

They passionately made out for what seemed like forever when Helen had to break it off so she wouldn’t die from a lack of oxygen.

‘I love you. I love you more than anything.’

‘I love you too, honey. So, so much.’

‘Honey? I like that.’

‘You do?’

‘Yeah. Makes me feel special.’

‘You are special to me.’

‘And you’re special to me. My greatest treasure.’

‘You’re so sweet.’

‘And you’re so beautiful.’

Helen kissed him briefly before sighing.

‘What’s wrong, kiska?’

‘I have to tell you something.’

‘What is it, lyubov?’

‘I’m moving to DC.’

‘Washington DC?’

‘Yeah.’

‘When do you leave?’

‘Tomorrow.’

‘I’m glad I caught you then.’

‘Me too.’

‘I’ll visit you in DC, dorogaya moya.’

‘How will you know where to find me?’

‘I always know where to find you.’

‘When’s your next mission?’

‘In three days.’

‘How long is it?’

‘A couple of weeks.’

‘Will you visit me before you go?’

‘I’ll try.’

‘You won’t ever leave me, right?’ She asked, tightening her hold on him.

‘No, pchelka. I will never leave you unless you want me to.’

‘That will never happen.’

‘Then I’ll never leave you.’

‘Good.’

‘I have to go, zaika. My boss wants me back at base.’

‘Okay. I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you too.’

‘I love you, Zorro.’

‘I love you too, solnyshko moye.’

‘Come back to me.’

‘Always.’

‘Bye, Zorro.’

‘Skoro uvidimsya, lyubov moya. Ne zabyvay, chto ya lyublyu tebya. Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she vsego na svete. Vy yedinstvennoye, chto imeyet znacheniye dlya menya. Beregi sebya, krasavitsa. Ya vernus', i my budem vmeste. Do tekh por ya lyublyu tebya i budu dumat' o tebe kazhdyy den'. Ne zabyvay menya, potomu chto ya ne zabudu tebya. Ya lyublyu tebya, sokrovishche moye.’ (See you soon, my love. Don’t forget that I love you. I love you more than anything. You are the only thing that matters to me. Take care of yourself, beautiful. I will come back and then we will be together. Until then, I love you and will think about you everyday. Don’t forget me, because I will not forget you. I love you, my treasure.)

Zorro kissed her passionately on the lips before clicking his mask back into place and fleeing into nothingness.

She was now more sure than ever that Bucky and Zorro were the same person. The promises that Zorro made to her were very similar to the promises Bucky used to make. Her heart soared at the thought of Bucky being alive and was actually Zorro in disguise. It was foolish to believe it but she couldn’t help it. The heart believes what it wants to believe.


	19. On Your Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen and Steve move to DC and meet Sam Wilson.

* * *

A few days later Helen and Steve were settling into their new apartment in DC. After they had unpacked everything they settled into a routine. They had been given a couple of weeks to get use to living in DC and they were both taking advantage of it. Every morning Steve went for a jog and Helen prepared him a hearty breakfast when he returned. They would talk over breakfast and then Steve took a shower while Helen went out a walk. After that they spent the whole day watching movies because Steve felt he needed to get with the times.

Today Helen was busy cutting up Steve’s favourite vegetables to put in his omelette when the blond came through the apartment door, sweat running down his body.

‘Hey, Steve.’ She greeted with a smile.

‘Hey, Helen.’ Steve said, returning the smile as he sat down at the kitchen table.

‘How was your run?’

‘It was good. I had a running buddy this morning.’

‘Really? He was able to keep up with you?’

Steve chuckled. ‘Of course not. I wiped the floor with him. Every time I passed him I’d say “On your left.”. Which was a lot. The guy kept getting annoyed.’

‘Did you talk to him?’ She asked curiously.

‘Nah. I might try tomorrow though.’

‘You are such a punk, Steve. On your left, really?’

‘What? It’s funny.’

‘To you, maybe. I doubt the guy you said it to found it funny though.’

‘He didn’t. That’s what makes it funny.’

‘If only people knew how much of a punk Captain America really is.’ Helen said with an amused head shake.

‘I’m not a punk.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘No, Steve Rogers is a punk. Captain America is a paragon of virtue.’

Helen raised an eyebrow. ‘I thought Steve Rogers and Captain America were the same person.’

‘Stop using my words against me.’ Steve pouted.

‘Make up your mind then.’

‘You make up your mind.’ He whined.

‘That doesn’t make any sense, Steve.’

‘Captain America always make sense.’

‘But Steve Rogers doesn’t, right?’

‘We are the same person, you know.’

‘Oh, good. You’ve made up your mind.’

‘I guess I have.’

‘You don’t have to keep being Captain America, you know.’

‘I know but the world needs heroes right now and I can’t let everyone down.’

‘The world has plenty of heroes, Steve. If you don’t want to do this then that’s okay. The world won’t fall apart without you.’

‘I know. I want to do this though. I want to help in any way I can.’

‘You can help in other ways.’

‘I know. I like being a hero though.’

‘As long as you’re happy doing it.’

‘I am.’

‘Good.’

‘What’s for breakfast?’

‘Vegetable omelettes and bacon.’

‘Sounds amazing. When’s it ready?’

‘A few more minutes. Can you wait that long?’

‘I don’t know. I’m starving after all that running.’

‘Stop messing around, Steve! You’re just being childish.’

‘Love you too.’

Helen snorted. ‘You’re lucky you’ve got a job because you’re a terrible comedian.’

‘Hey!’

‘I’m just kidding, pal.’

‘I know.’

‘I’m glad I’m here with you.’

‘Me too.’

Helen smiled at the blond before turning off the frying pan and plating up the omelette and bacon onto a plate for him.

‘There you go, Cap. A large vegetable omelette with a big helping of bacon.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘You’re welcome.’

Steve tucked into his breakfast and ate it all before Helen was done frying her breakfast. She chuckled. Steve used to eat really slowly before the serum so he wouldn’t upset his stomach. Now he would eat at a ravenous pace because the serum allowed him to. How things had changed.

After washing his plate Steve headed off to the bathroom and closed the door. A minute later she heard the shower running. So she ate her breakfast alone as usual. She could never keep up with Steve these days and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Seeing Steve so sickly and weak was horrible and it always broke her heart when he became bedridden. So she was glad that the serum had cured all of his ailments. Steve was a good person. He didn’t deserve to have to constantly suffer.

Steve came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, all freshly washed and glad only in a towel.

‘Ew, Steve. Go get dressed. I don’t want to see you half naked.’ Helen teased, wrinkling her nose in mock disgust.

‘You’re not drooling at the sight of my rock hard abs?’ He teased back.

Helen rolled her eyes playfully. ‘No and you don’t want me to be. The only person you want drooling over you is Tony.’

‘That’s true.’ Steve said, chuckling slightly.

‘Go get dressed. We need to start our movie marathon.’

‘What is it today?’

‘Sleeping Beauty.’

‘Another princess movie?’

‘Of course.’

‘How many are they?’

‘Quite a few.’

‘I better get dressed then.’

‘Hop to it, Captain.’

‘Shut up.’

‘Just go, Steve.’

‘I’m going, I’m going.’

Steve emerged from his room a few minutes later, wearing a tight t-shirt and jeans. Helen was just putting her freshly washed and dried plate back into the cupboard and turned to smile at him.

‘Hey. You’re ready.’

‘Yup. Are you?’

‘Oh yeah.’

‘Let’s get started then.’

‘Aye, aye, Captain.’

Steve frowned. ‘Stop that. I was in the Army, not the Navy.’

‘I know. I was just teasing.’

‘Don’t tease about that. I’m an Army guy at heart.’

‘Oh, I’m well aware of that. You enlisted so many times after all.’

‘I couldn’t give up on my dream.’

‘No, you didn’t. Even when everyone told you it was impossible.’

‘I just had a feeling that it would work out.’

‘You never gave up on the Army but I’ve already given up on Bucky.’ Helen said sadly.

‘You haven’t given up, Helen.’

‘Yes, I have.’

‘No, you haven’t.’

‘How have I not?’

‘You still wear your engagement ring and Bucky’s dog tags.’

‘I keep them on because I still love Bucky and can’t let him go.’

‘Exactly. You haven’t given up on him.’

‘I will always love him.’

‘I know.’

‘Can we watch the movie now?’

‘Of course.’

* * *

A few days later Steve was out his usual morning run when he saw his running buddy. He smirked and picked up the pace.

As he passed him he yelled out, ‘On your left.’

He quickly ran another lap and soon came across his running buddy again.

‘On your left.’ He called out again as he whizzed past him.

‘Uh-huh, on my left. Got it.’ The guy replied with a huff.

Steve gave a little chuckle as he continued to run and when he saw his running buddy still on the same lap as he came up for a new one he grinned mischievously. This guy was just too easy to tease.

‘Don’t say it! Don’t you say it!’ The guy groaned as he soon as he saw him.

‘On your left.’

‘Come on!’

Steve laughed as the guy tried to catch up to him with an angry look on his face. However he couldn’t keep up and soon he was panting by a tree. Steve walked over to him with a smirk on his face.

‘Need a medic?’ He quipped, causing the guy to laugh.

‘I need a new set of lungs. Dude, you just ran like 13 miles in 30 minutes.’ The guy said.

‘I guess I got a late start.’

‘Oh, really? You should be ashamed of yourself. You should take another lap.’

The guy pauses for a second before sarcastically saying, ‘Did you just take it? I assumed you just took it.’

‘What unit you with?’

‘58, Pararescue. But now I’m working down at the VA. Sam Wilson.’

‘Steve Rogers.’ He replied, shaking the guy’s hand.

‘I kind of put that together. Must have freaked you out coming home after the whole defrosting thing.’

‘It takes some getting used to. It’s good to meet you, Sam.’

As Steve is turning around he hears a familiar voice call his name.

‘Helen!’

‘Hey, Steve. Who’s your friend?’

‘Name’s Sam Wilson. What’s yours?’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Sam. I’m Helen Potter.’

‘What a lovely name. You dating this guy over here?’

‘No.’

‘Maybe you and me could get together sometime. Can’t turn down a pretty thing like you.’

‘Unfortunately I am involved with someone. Thanks for the offer though.’

‘No problem. You got a hot sister or a friend you could set me up with?’

‘Unfortunately they are all taken.’

‘Damn it.’

‘We should go. It was good talking to you, Sam.’

‘It’s your bed, right?’ Sam called after them.

‘What’s that?’ Steve asked, turning back around.

‘Your bed, it’s too soft. When I was over there I’d sleep on the ground and use rock for pillows, like a caveman. Now I’m home, lying in my bed, and it’s like...’

‘Lying on a marshmallow. Feel like I’m gonna sink right to the floor.’

Sam smiled and nodded in response.

‘How long?’ Steve asked.

‘Two tours. You must miss the good old days, huh?’

‘Well, things aren’t so bad. Food’s a lot better, we used to boil everything. No polio is good. Internet, so helpful. I’ve been reading that a lot trying to catch up.’

‘Marvin Gaye, 1972, “Trouble Man” soundtrack. Everything you’ve missed jammed into one album.’

‘I’ll put it on the list.’ Steve said, taking out his small notebook and writing it down.

Steve’s phone buzzes with a text from Natasha. He reads it and then shows it to Helen.

It reads: “Mission alert. Extraction imminent. Meet at the curb. :)”

‘Alright, Sam, duty calls. Thanks for the run. If that’s what you wanna call running.’

‘Oh, that’s how it is?’

‘Oh, that’s how it is.’

Sam laughed. ‘Okay. Any time you wanna stop by the VA, make me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know.’

‘I’ll keep it in mind.’

‘Okay.’

Just then Natasha drove up to the curb in her car and rolled down the window.

‘Hey, fellas, Helen. Either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I’m here to pick up a fossil.’

‘That’s hilarious.’ Steve deadpanned.

‘I thought it was funny.’ Helen laughed.

‘You would.’

‘I know.’

Steve gets into the car with Helen following his lead. Sam came over and gave Natasha an appreciative look.

‘How you doing?’ He flirted, causing Helen to giggle quietly.

‘Hey.’ Natasha replied.

‘Can’t run everywhere.’ Steve said.

‘No, you can’t.’ Sam replied.

‘Bye, Sam.’

‘Bye, Helen.’

Natasha rolled up her window and quickly drove off.

‘You know I think Sam likes you, Nat.’ Helen said after a few moments of silence.

‘He totally does.’ Steve added.

‘Shut up you two.’

‘You’re not gonna give him a chance?’

‘He looks like an idiot.’

‘Nat, you think all men are idiots when you first meet them.’

‘Well, this one definitely is and I don’t date idiots.’

‘Who do you date then?’ Steve asked curiously.’

‘None of your business, Cap.’

‘Hey, I’m just asking.’

‘And I’m not answering so drop it.’

‘Fine.’

‘You didn’t think that Sam was cute?’ Helen asked hesitantly.

‘He was alright looking.’ Natasha said with a shrug.

‘Alright looking? What does that mean?’

‘It means that he wasn’t ugly.’

‘That’s good.’

‘Hey, how come Helen gets to ask you questions but I don’t?’

‘Because Helen is my best friend and _you_ are not.’

‘I’m wounded, Natasha. I thought we had really bonded.’

‘Shut up.’ Natasha said with a fond smile.

‘So, what is the mission anyway?’ Helen asked, changing the subject.

‘We’re working with the STRIKE team.’

‘For what?’

‘We’ll be told when we get there.’

‘Okay.’

‘Hey, Helen?’

‘Yeah, Steve?’

‘When you told Sam you were involved with someone, you meant Bucky, right?’

‘Of course. Why?’

‘Just the way you said it sounds odd.’

‘I wasn’t going to tell a complete stranger that I’m still in love with my dead fiancé.’ Helen replied, swallowing back the guilt at her secrecy over her relationship with Zorro.

‘I get it. I still think Natasha should give Sam a chance though.’

‘Not this again.’ Natasha said, groaning.

‘Just give him a chance, Nat.’ Helen encouraged.

‘I’ll think about it. Right now we got a mission.’

‘Right. You guys ready?’

‘Of course we are, Captain.’

‘Stop it.’

‘Whatever you say, Captain.’

‘Now you’ve got Natasha doing it!’

‘It’s fun, Steve.’

‘For you, maybe.’

‘We’re just joking, Steve. Relax.’

‘Yeah, stop being so uptight, Captain.’

‘This is never going to stop, is it?’

‘Nope.’

‘Good to know.’

‘Look alive, you two. We’re here.’

‘Okay. Let’s save the world.’

Helen, Steve and Natasha got out of the car and headed off to begin their mission. Little did any of them know that things were about to change very quickly.


	20. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen, Steve and Natasha go on a mission but Brock Rumlow, the STRIKE team leader, makes Helen uncomfortable.

* * *

Helen’s first impression of the STRIKE team’s leader, Brock Rumlow, was not a good one. She couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was that made her dislike him. He just gave her the wrong vibes. Maybe she was just being paranoid. The guy was clearly trustworthy. He was a team leader after all. But then she thought about how Augustus Rookwood and Peter Pettigrew were trusted by those around them and they turned out to be traitors. So she resolved to keep a close eye on Brock Rumlow. It was better safe than sorry after all.

They were currently flying over the Indian Ocean in a jet with Rumlow and several other SHIELD agents. The looks Rumlow kept throwing at her were making her sick to her stomach. They reminded her of the way Hodge used to look at her and look how that turned out. Maybe that’s why Rumlow rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe he was just a creep rather than something more sinister. Still it didn’t shake her resolve to keep a close watch on him. She didn’t need any unwanted advances from him right now. Not after what Hodge tried to do all those years ago. Never again would a man touch her like that and she’d be damned if she let a creep like Rumlow try anything. If he did he’d get his nose broken for certain. Who would break it was less certain. She was sure that both Steve and Nat would throw in a punch of their own if Rumlow tried to do something untoward to her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the creep himself starting to talk.

‘The target is a mobile satellite launch platform: The Lemurian Star. They were sending up their last payload when pirates took them, 93 minutes ago.’ Rumlow said.

‘Any demands?’ Steve asked.

‘A billion and a half.’

‘Why so steep?’ Helen questioned.

‘Because it SHIELD’s.’

‘So it’s not off-course, it’s trespassing.’ Steve concluded.

‘I’m sure they have a good reason.’

‘You know, I’m getting a little tired of being Fury’s janitor.’ Steve complained.

‘Relax, it’s not that complicated.’ Natasha assured.

‘How many pirates?’

‘Twenty five, top mercs, led by this guy. Georges Batroc.’ Rumlow said, pulling up a picture of Batroc on the monitor. ‘Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He’s at the top of Interpol’s Red Notice. Before the French demobilised him, he had thirty six kill missions. This guy’s got a rep for maximum casualties.’

‘Hostages?’

‘Uh...mostly techs. One officer, Jasper Sitwell. They’re in the galley.’

‘What’s Sitwell doing on a launch ship?’

‘Alright, I’m gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you’ll kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to the life-pods, get ‘em out. Helen, you’re with me. Let’s move.’

‘STRIKE, you heard the Cap. Gear up.’

‘Secure channel seven.’

‘Seven secure. Did you do anything fun Saturday night?’

‘Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so... No, not really.’

Helen rolled her eyes at the blond before turning to face Natasha. ‘He’s kidding. We had a Disney movie marathon.’

‘Sounds fun.’

‘Coming up by the drop zone, Cap.’

‘What did you do on Saturday night, Nat?’

‘Nothing too exciting.’

‘You know, if you asked Sam out, he’d probably say yes.’ Helen said.

‘That’s why she doesn’t ask.’ Steve replied. ‘But I never pegged you for being shy or scared.’

‘I’m not. I just don’t date, Rogers.’

Steve shrugged and moved towards the end of the jet.

‘Steve, don’t jump. You don’t have a parachute.’ Helen yelled.

‘Can’t hear you. Too busy!’ Steve said before jumping out of the jet.

‘Was he wearing a parachute?’ One of the agents asked.

Rumlow smiled. ‘No. No, he wasn’t.’

Minutes later Helen prepared to parachute down onto the ship’s deck with Natasha and an agent whose name she did not know. She could see Steve taking out all of the pirates on the deck with great expertise. Rumlow parachuted down and shot the pirate that Steve was unable to take out.

‘Thanks.’ Helen heard Steve say as she begins to parachute down.

‘Yeah. You seemed pretty helpless without me.’ Rumlow replied with a snort.

‘When are you and Tony having a date night?’ Natasha asked as she parachuted onto the deck.

‘Secure the engine room, then we’ll talk about my love life.’

‘I’m multitasking.’

‘When _are_ you and Tony going to see each other again?’

‘Not you too, Helen.’ Steve groaned.

‘Hey! It’s a genuine question.’

‘Next week. Can we focus on the mission now?’

‘Aye, aye, Captain.’

‘Stop that. I don’t want everyone at SHIELD to start saying that.’

‘Sorry, Steve.’

‘It’s okay. You ready to do this?’

‘Yeah. Let’s save those hostages.’

‘Ladies first.’

‘I believe your title as Captain outranks me.’

‘Go together?’

‘Always.’

The two of them quickly ran across the deck, looking for the hostages.

‘There’s the door to the control room.’

‘The hostages are in there, right?’

‘Right.’

‘There’s Rumlow.’

Helen and Steve watched as Rumlow and another agent put a bomb on the locked door.

‘You think Batroc’s in there?’ Helen asked.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Targets acquired.’

‘STRIKE in position.’ Rumlow said.

‘Natasha, what’s your status?’ Steve spoke into his radio.

‘Status, Natasha?’ He asked again after he got no response.

‘Hang on!’ She yelled.

‘Engine room secure.’ She said after a few seconds.

‘On my mark. Three. Two. One.’

Helen watched as the STRIKE team started shooting at the pirates and blew open the door. A few seconds later Rumlow quickly killed the head pirate.

‘I told you, SHIELD doesn’t negotiate.’ Jasper Sitwell said.

‘Batroc’s not here, Steve. He must be in the control room.’

‘Let’s go get him then. You okay to get the hostages out, Rumlow?’

‘Yeah, Cap. You and your girl go get Batroc.’

‘She’s not my girl.’

‘Whatever you say, Cap.’

‘Let’s focus on the mission everyone.’

‘You heard the Cap. Let’s get these hostages to safety.’

As soon as Rumlow started evacuating the hostages Steve ran out of the room with Helen at his heels. Steve used his shield to break through the window of the control room and sure enough Batroc was there. Unfortunately Batroc managed to escape and Helen and Steve chased after him.

‘Hostages en route to extraction. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Cap. Hostiles are still in play.’ Rumlow’s voice said over the radio.

‘Natasha, Batroc’s on the move. Circle back to Rumlow and protect the hostages.’

Helen looked at Steve in concern when there was no reply from Natasha.

‘Natasha!’

‘Steve, we’ve got to find Batroc. Nat can take care of herself.’

‘Right. Let’s go.’

‘He must be somewhere arou- AH!’

Helen ducked out of the way as Batroc fired a gun at her.

‘You okay?’ Steve asked in concern.

‘Yeah.’

Just then Batroc starting attacking Steve and the two of them fought for a bit.

‘Je croyais que tu étais plus qu'un bouclier.’ Batroc said.

Steve put his shield on his back and took off his mask. ‘On va voir.’

They start fighting again and Helen watches frantically until one of the pirates came up behind her. She successfully took him out after a few minutes. After making sure he stayed down she looked to where Steve was still fighting Batroc. She was just about to jump in and help when Steve knocked him out by smashing him through one of the windows.

She followed Steve through the smashed window into the room and got a shock when she saw Natasha sitting at one of the computers. Looking at Steve she could tell he was just as shocked to see Natasha.

‘Well, this is awkward.’ Natasha said.

‘What are you doing?’ Steve asked.

‘Backing up the hard drive. It’s a good habit to get into.’

Steve frowned disapprovingly. ‘Rumlow needed your help. What the hell are you doing here?’

Steve then went over to Natasha, Helen following right behind him, and saw what she was doing on the computer.

‘You’re saving SHIELD Intel.’

‘Whatever I can get my hands on.’

‘Our mission is to rescue hostages.’ Steve pointed out.

‘No. That’s your mission.’ Natasha replied, finishing backing up the files and pulling out the flash drive. ‘And you’ve done it beautifully.’

She went to walk away but Steve grabbed her arm before she could.

‘You just jeopardised this whole operation.’ He said in anger.

‘I think that’s overstating things.’

Just then Batroc rose up from the floor and threw a grenade at them before running off. Steve deflected the bomb with his shield before grabbing Helen and Natasha and jumping out the window. The room exploded right after they had jumped out of it.

‘Okay. That one’s on me.’ Natasha said.

‘You’re damn right.’ Steve growled before getting up and storming off.

Helen gave Natasha a small smile before running after him. She bumped into Rumlow on the deck and groaned at the thought of talking to him.

‘Hey, Potter.’

‘Hello, Rumlow.’

‘That was good work out there. You’ve got some impressive fighting skills.’ He complimented.

‘Thank you.’

‘I suppose you learned from the best.’

‘I did.’

‘What’s it like being Cap’s girlfriend?’

‘I’m not his girlfriend.’

‘Fiancée then.’

‘No.’

‘Wife?’

‘Nope.’

‘You’re single then?’

‘Unfortunately not.’

‘Who?’

‘None of your business.’ She snapped.

‘He make you happy?’

‘Very happy.’

‘He’s a lucky guy.’

‘Well, I’m a lucky girl.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do.’

‘Mm.’

‘You see where Steve went?’

‘He already left.’

‘Damn it. See you, Rumlow.’

‘Goodbye, Potter.’

Even though Steve had left without her she knew exactly where he would be going so she boarded the jet without worry.

Once it landed back in DC she immediately headed to SHIELD headquarters knowing that was where Steve likely was. She managed to catch Steve just before he was about storm into Fury’s office.

‘Steve, calm down.’ She soothed, trying to grab his arm to stop him but missing by a good inch.

‘No, I will not calm down! Fury has lied to me for the last time!’

He then proceeded to storm into Fury’s office before Helen could stop him. Sighing she quickly followed him.

‘You just can’t stop yourself from lying, can you?’ Steve spat.

‘I didn’t lie. Agent Romanoff had a different mission than yours.’ Fury replied calmly.

‘Which you didn’t feel obliged to share.’

‘I’m not obliged to do anything.’

‘Those hostages could’ve died, Nick.’

‘I sent the greatest soldier in history and his magical best friend to make sure that didn’t happen.’

‘Soldiers trust each other, that’s what makes it an army. Not a bunch of guys running around and shooting guns.’

‘The last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye. Look, I didn’t want you doing anything you weren’t comfortable with. Agent Romanoff is comfortable with everything.’

‘I can’t lead a mission when the people I’m leading have missions of their own.’

‘It’s called compartmentalisation. Nobody spills the secrets because nobody knows them all.’

‘Except you.’

‘You’re wrong about me. I do share. I’m nice like that.’

Fury left his office and stepped into the elevator with Helen and Steve both following him.

‘Insight bay.’

‘Captain Rogers and Agent Potter do not have clearance for Project Insight.’

‘Director override, Fury, Nicholas J.’

‘Confirmed.’

‘You know, they used to play music.’ Steve said once the elevator started moving down.

‘Yeah. My grandfather operated one of these things for forty years. My granddad worked in a nice building, he got good tips. He'd walk home every night, roll of ones stuffed in his lunch bag. He'd say “hi”, people would say hi back. Time went on, neighbourhood got rougher. He'd say “Hi”, they'd say, “Keep on steppin’.” Granddad got to grippin’ that lunch bag a little tighter.’

‘Did he ever get mugged?’

‘Every week some punk would say, “What’s in the bag?”’

‘What did he do?’

‘He’d show ‘em. Bunch of crumpled ones and loaded .22 Magnum. Granddad loved people. But he didn’t trust them very much.’

They continued to ride down in the elevator and Steve spotted the giant Helicarriers, causing Helen to notice them as well.

‘Yeah, I know. They’re a little bit bigger than a .22.’ Fury said when he saw that they were looking at them.

The elevator opened and Fury showed them around a room.

‘This is Project Insight. Three next generation Helicarriers synced to a network of targeting satellites.’

‘Launched from the Lemurian Star.’

‘Once we get them in the air they never need to come down. Continuous suborbital flight courtesy of our new repulser engines.’

‘Tony?’ Steve asked with a fond smile.

‘Well, he had a few suggestions once he got an up close look at our old turbines. These new long range precision guns can eliminate a thousand hostiles a minute. The satellites can read a terrorist’s DNA before he steps outside his spider hole. We gonna neutralise a lot of threats before they even happen.’

Steve raised an eyebrow. ‘I thought the punishment usually came after the crime.’

‘We can’t afford to wait that long.’

‘Who’s “we”?’ Helen asked.

‘After New York, I convinced the World Security Council we needed a quantum surge in threat analysis. For once we’re way ahead of the curve.’

‘By holding a gun at everyone on Earth and calling it protection.’

‘You know, I read those SSR files. Greatest generation? You guys did some nasty stuff.’

‘Yeah, we compromised. Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well. But we did it so the people could be free. This isn’t freedom, this is fear.’

‘SHIELD takes the world as it is, not as we’d like it to be. It’s getting damn near past time for you to get with that program, Cap.’

‘Don’t hold your breath.’ Steve said before walking off.

‘You really shouldn’t have expected him to agree.’ Helen told Fury before running after an irate Steve.

She knew that there was no way Steve would agree to be apart of something like this and she didn’t know what that meant. He could quit working for SHIELD and Helen didn’t know what she would do if that happened. Things sure were changing fast.


	21. A Constant Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Steve is brooding over Fury’s words Helen meets Zorro again and the two of them take their relationship to the next level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m posting this chapter early because I won’t be able to post anything all of next week. This is an important chapter and I didn’t want to make you all wait too long for it. Hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

The next day Steve was still brooding over Fury’s words so Helen decided to take a walk. There was no point in trying to talk to Steve when he was in a bad mood especially when it was over something that he considered important. So she left him to sulk on his own.

She knew from experience that Steve would be in his bad mood for days and it was best to leave him alone during that time. If Steve wanted to talk then he’d come to her. There was no point in forcing Steve to talk about it. He’d just clam up even more. It was best to give him time to come to terms with it especially considering what he was in a bad mood over. Freedom was very important to Steve and he couldn’t stand the fact that SHIELD wasn’t advocating for it. Steve believed in doing the right thing and in his eyes SHIELD was definitely not doing the right thing. He needed time to accept that.

She was walking through the park when she heard familiar footsteps coming from behind her.

‘Hello, dorogaya moya.’

Helen grinned and turned to face the voice.

‘Hello, Zorro.’

‘I came to see you yesterday but you weren’t there.’ He frowned.

‘I’m sorry. I was out on a mission.’

‘A mission?’

‘I was rescuing hostages.’ She explained.

‘You’re a police officer?’

‘No.’

‘What are you?’

‘It’s classified.’ She smirked.

‘Well played, zaika.’ He said, sounding oddly pleased.

‘How’d you know I wasn’t here?’ She asked.

‘I’ve been following you.’

‘Why?’

‘To make sure you’re safe.’

‘I can take care of myself, Zorro.’

‘I know. I just like to make sure that you’re alright.’

‘You’re sweet.’ She smiled.

‘You’re beautiful.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, solnyshko. So very much.’

‘How did your mission go, honey?’

‘It was successful.’

‘You say that about all your missions.’

‘That’s because all of them are successful, zaika.’

‘I’m glad. I don’t want you getting hurt.’

‘I can take care of myself, lyubov. I am strong.’

‘I know. I just worry because I love you.’

‘I will never tire of hearing you say that.’

‘I won’t stop saying it.’

‘Neither will I.’

‘God, I missed you so much.’

‘I missed you too, kiska. Now come here and give me a hug.’

Helen smiled before running into his open arms. It felt so good to be close to him again. His strong arms tightened around her and she felt him kiss the top of her head gently. She hadn’t seen him take off the mask but he must have done because his lips were continuing to press loving kisses onto her head.

‘I love you, lyubov moya. I love you so much. I will always love you.’

‘I love you too, honey. I love you very much and I won’t ever stop.’

‘Do you still love him?’

‘Yes.’

‘It won’t stop you from being with me though, right?’ He asked worriedly.

‘Of course it won’t. I want to be with you, Zorro, and nothing will ever change that.’

‘Good because I don’t think I can live without you, solnyshko moye.’

‘Well, I can’t live without you so we’re even.’

‘Dorogaya, I promise I will never hurt you.’

‘I know.’

‘And I will never leave you.’

‘I know.’

‘And I promise that I won’t die.’

‘My fiancé promised that too but he died anyway.’

‘I won’t die, lyubov. I promise you.’

‘You can’t promise this like that.’

‘Yes, I can.’

‘How?’

‘I just can.’

‘Okay, I believe you.’

‘I love you, zhizn moya.’

‘I love you too.’

Zorro grinned at her before connecting their lips in a passionate kiss.

‘I have something for you.’ He said after a few minutes of kissing.

‘Oh? What is it?’

‘A present for you.’

‘You got me a present?’ She asked with a large smile.

‘Yes. I had to get something special for my dorogaya.’

‘You didn’t have to buy me anything, Zorro.’

‘Yes, I did. You deserve to be spoiled.’

‘That’s sweet.’

‘Can I give you your present now?’

‘Of course, my love.’

‘My love. I like it when you call me that.’ Zorro said with a grin.

‘Well, it’s true. You are my love.’

‘And you are mine.’

‘So, what did you get me?’

Zorro reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a little key ring. It had a red star hanging from it.

‘It’s beautiful.’

‘Just like you, kiska.’

‘How did you know red was my favourite colour?’

‘I didn’t. I got you this because it matches the star on my arm.’

‘What star?’ She asked, confused.

‘The star on my left shoulder.’

‘You have a tattoo?’

‘No.’

‘Then how do you have a red star on your shoulder?’

‘It’s painted on.’

‘Painted?’

‘My left arm is a metal one, dorogaya.’

‘Is that why you always wear gloves?’

‘Yes. I didn’t want to freak you out, zaika.’

‘You could never freak me out, honey.’

‘I don’t want to frighten you, solnyshko moye.’

‘You could never scare me. I love you. _All_ of you.’

‘Even the metal arm?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh, lyubov moya, you are too good for me.’

‘No, I’m not. We’re meant to be together.’

‘You think so?’

‘Yes.’

‘What about your fiancé?’ He asked with a frown.

‘My relationship with him has nothing to do with my relationship with you.’

‘Oh, I love you so much, zhizn moya.’

‘I love you too, honey.’

‘You’re really okay with the arm?’

‘Yes.’

‘It really doesn’t bother you?’

‘No. Can I- can I see it?’

‘You... want to see it?’

‘Yes. I want to see your red star.’

‘Okay, kiska. Whatever you want.’

Helen waited patiently as Zorro unzipped his leather jacket. She could tell that he was self conscious about his metal arm and she didn’t want to pressure him too much. So she let him take as much time as he needed.

After a few minutes Zorro had taken off the jacket, exposing his metal arm. He then took off his gloves and reached for Helen. She met him halfway and she smiled as he entwined their hands. The feeling of his metal hand was odd but not strange. It actually felt nice.

A few moments later Helen let go of one of Zorro’s hands and held up the star key ring against his left shoulder.

‘Hey, it matches.’

‘It does.’

‘Now we each have a red star.’

‘That was my plan, zaika.’

‘I love you so much and I don’t care that you have a metal arm. In fact I actually like the arm.’

‘You do?’

‘Yeah, I do. It makes you unique.’

‘I love you, solnyshko. I love you more than anything in this world.’

‘Right back at you.’

‘This star is a promise, lyubov. It’s a promise that I will always love you and that’ll I will come back to you no matter what.’

‘It also means that you’ll always be with me even when we’re apart.’

‘That too.’

‘I know that you’ll never break those promises.’

‘I won’t. I would rather die than break a promise to you.’

‘I know. Just don’t die anytime soon.’

‘I won’t. I promise.’

‘I love it by the way. My gift.’

‘I’m glad, zvezda moya, svet moyey zhizni.’ (My star, light of my life.)

‘I love you.’

‘And I love you, lyubov moya.’

Zorro cupped her cheek and connected their lips in a fiery kiss. They kissed for a few minutes before he broke their kiss and started trailing his lips down her neck. She moaned when he gently bit down on her sweet spot. Encouraged by her moans Zorro lifted her up and she immediately wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed his way back up her neck and connected their lips again. He kissed her fiercely for a minute before he took a couple of steps forward and pinned her to a tree.

Helen moaned when her back hit the tree hard and she gasped in delight when Zorro’s hands gently skimmed the bare skin of her back.

‘Can I- can I take your shirt off, zaika?’

‘Yes.’

Zorro let out a little moan before he tore off her shirt and threw it carelessly onto the ground. He immediately began attacking her bared chest with his lips and the tingling sensation his stubble caused made her moan in delight.

‘Zorro... honey, don’t stop.’

‘I won’t, kiska. I won’t stop unless you ask me to.’

‘Can you take your shirt off?’

‘I have scars, zaika. They’re not pretty.’ He said in embarrassment.

‘I have scars too.’

‘You won’t be disgusted by them?’ He asked hesitantly.

‘No. I told you. I love all of you, even your scars.’

‘God, I love you. I don’t deserve you.’

‘Don’t say things like that. You’re more than worthy of my love.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘I love you. I love you so much. You’re my everything.’

‘I love you too. Words can’t describe how much you mean to me.’

‘Blyad, you’re beautiful. You look so sexy like this.’ (Damn.)

‘You’re pretty handsome yourself.’ Helen said breathlessly.

‘I want you. I want to take you. I want to make you mine in every way.’

‘Please, Zorro.’

‘Please what, zaika?’

‘Please take me. Make me yours.’

‘I’ll give you anything you want, solnyshko.’

‘Take off your shirt. I want to see you.’

Zorro bit his lip before nodding and practically ripped off his shirt. Helen let her eyes roam over his exposed upper half. The toned pecs, the glorious abs, the bulging biceps. It was almost too much and she felt herself salivating at the sight of Zorro’s model like body. Her eyes trailed up to his left shoulder and she winced in sympathy at the angry red scars that marred it.

‘Oh, my love. You’ve been so brave.’ She said before she leaned down and placed loving kisses over the scars.

Zorro’s breath hitched and his right hand began to stroke her hair.

‘Lyubov moya, don’t stop.’

‘I won’t.’ Helen said before she stuck out her tongue and traced one of the scars with it.

Zorro moaned obscenely and tightened his hold on her.

‘Fuck. _Fuck_. Don’t stop. It feels so good.’

Helen continued to lave his scars with her tongue, encouraged by his loud moans and groans. She was careful not to prod them too hard as she knew that they were likely to be very sensitive. She twirled her tongue over a particularly long one and nearly moaned when Zorro tugged on her hair harshly.

‘O bozhe, lyubov. Ty svodish' menya s uma. Ya tak sil'no khochu tebya.’ (Oh god, love. You’re driving me crazy. I want you so much.)

Helen pulled her mouth away from Zorro’s left shoulder and looked into his covered eyes. Though she couldn’t see them, she could imagine that they were completely black with desire with only a thin blue ring remaining. His chest was heaving and his cheeks were flushed. He was completely turned on by her and it was thrilling.

‘Fuck me, Zorro. Take me right here, right now.’

‘I won’t fuck you, Lyubov moya. I’ll make love to you.’

‘ _Please_.’

This one word broke the last of Zorro’s control and he let out a growl before reaching up and tearing off her bra. He immediately took her left nipple in his mouth and she groaned in pleasure when he bit down hard on it. He soothed it with his tongue and spent a few minutes sucking on it before he moved to the right one.It got the same treatment as the left one and she moaned in pleasure. For a man who wore a mask most of the time Zorro sure knew what he was doing. She certainly had no complaints.

‘I love you.’ Helen told him breathlessly.

‘I love you too, lyubov.’ Zorro replied, just as breathless as she was.

‘Should we be doing this here? Out in the open like this.’ She said, worried that someone was going to stumble upon them in their half dressed states.

‘Don’t worry, zvezda moya. No one can see us here.’ He said soothingly.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course. I’d never lie to you, moya luna i zvezdy.’ (My moon and stars.)

‘I know.’

‘Can I... take your jeans off, lyubimaya koroleva?’ (Beloved Queen.)

‘Yes.’

Zorro kissed her lovingly for a few seconds before his metal hand trailed down to the button on her jeans. He looked to her for permission again and when she nodded he gently undid the button and zipper before slowly pulling them down her legs. She kicked them off once they were at her ankles and Zorro ran his hands up her bare legs. Her breath hitched when his flesh and bone fingers reached the bottom of her underwear. When they skimmed up and brushed her wet folds she let out a groan of pleasure. It felt so good to be touched like this again.

Encouraged by her moans Zorro stroked her folds more firmly. After a few minutes he used his metal hand to pull her underwear off her body, leaving her completely bare to him.

‘Zaika, you look so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re mine.’

‘I’m definitely all yours, honey.’

‘And I am all yours, kiska.’

Helen slammed her lips against Zorro’s in a passionate kiss and they frantically made out for several minutes before Zorro pulled her away from the tree and gently threw her onto the grass. Her breath hitched in anticipation when Zorro began to unzip his combats and shoved them down his toned legs. Clad only in his boxers he slowly sank to the ground and kneeled between her legs.

‘Spread your legs for me, lyubov.’

Helen did so and all breath left her lungs when Zorro leaned down and licked a stripe up her folds. A broken moan left her lips when he repeated the action and this seemed to encourage Zorro because he started licking her in earnest.

‘Zorro, honey, don’t stop. It feels so good.’

Zorro hummed in response and it sent tingles against her dripping sex.

Her toes curled in pleasure as he continued to eat her out. She never thought she’d be having sex lying on the grass in a secluded area of the park but then stranger things had happened.

‘Bozhe moy, lyubov. U tebya takoy khoroshiy vkus.’ (Oh my god, love. You taste so good.)

‘Don’t stop. Keep going.’

‘Ya ne budu. I won’t. You feel so good against my lips, milaya.’

‘Feels so good, Zorro. You’re amazing at this.’

‘Mne nravitsya, kogda moye litso pokhoroneno vnutri tebya.’ (I like it when my face is buried inside you.)

‘Oooh _god_. Zorro, keep going. Don’t stop.’

‘Ya ne budu, lyubov moya. Ya ne ostanovlyus, poka ne zastavlyu tebya konchit.’ (I won’t, my love. I won’t stop until I make you cum.)

Helen moaned and panted with utter pleasure as Zorro’s skilful tongue continued to lick her aching core. She startled a bit when she felt a cold sensation against her sex but relaxed when she saw that it was Zorro’s metal fingers. The feeling of the cool metal inside her almost made her cum right there and then. It felt amazing.

Eventually with Zorro’s tongue swirling around her clit and his fingers pushing in and out of her hole she reached her peak and she came with a muffled yell. Zorro groaned and eagerly lapped up her release.

‘Chert, eto bylo potryasayushche. U tebya takoy khoroshiy vkus, dorogusha.’ (Fuck, that was amazing. You taste so good, sweetheart.)

‘Zorro... that was indescribable. God, I’ve never came like that in my life.’

‘I’m glad I made you feel good, zaika.’

‘You made me feel amazing.’

‘So did you. Your taste is one I will never forget.’

‘Well, I’ll never forget the feeling of your mouth on me.’

‘I will happily put my mouth on that pretty little pussy of yours anytime you want me to, lyubov moya.’

‘Can I put my mouth on you?’

‘That depends. Where do you want to put your lovely little mouth?’

‘On your dick.’

Zorro let out a deep moan at that. ‘Chert voz'mi, ty nemnogo draznish'sya.’ (Damn it, you’re a little tease.)

‘Is that a yes?’

‘It’s a hell yes, kiska.’

Helen grinned and reached for the waistband of his boxers before yanking them down his legs. Zorro quickly kicked them off, giving her a perfect view of his raging hard on. She licked her lips a few times before she lowered her head and took him in her mouth. She had only done this to Bucky once so she was rather inexperienced when it came to blowjobs. Zorro seemed to appreciate her efforts though as he was groaning loudly in pleasure.

‘Bozhe, tvoy rot podoben nebu. Ne ostanavlivaysya. Chert, ne ostanavlivaysya.’ (God, your mouth is like heaven. Don’t stop. Fuck, don’t stop.)

Helen took Zorro deeper in her mouth and gave a harsh suck, which drove the man wild. He let out loud groans and kept muttering in Russian.

  
‘Dorogaya, o bohze. Ne ostanavlivaysya. Nikogda ne ostanavlivaysya.’ (Darling, oh god. Don’t stop. Never stop.)

Helen hummed around his member, causing his breath to stutter. She continued to suck him hard and deep and the hand he had in her hair tightened into a vice grip.

‘Moya koroleva, ty svodish' menya s uma. Tvoy rot kak grekh. Eto tak khorosho. Ne ostanavlivaysya.’ (My Queen, you drive me crazy. Your mouth is like sin. It feels so good. Don’t stop.)

Helen hummed in response and sucked harder. His hardened member was big and leaking pre cum. It felt so good in her mouth.

‘You feel amazing in my mouth, Zorro. You’re so big.’

Her response was muffled but Zorro seemed to understand what she said because he stroked her hair lovingly and gave her a hint of a smile.

‘Love you so much.’

‘Love you too, zaika.’

Helen swirled her tongue around the head of his dick and gave him a deep suck. Zorro moaned and bucked his hips slightly in response.

‘Milaya, ostanovis.’ (Honey, stop.)

Helen hummed, not understanding what he said, and continued what she was doing.

‘Milaya moya, stop.’

‘Why?’

‘If you don’t stop now then I’m going to spill my release down your throat.’

‘What if I want you to do that?’

‘Iisus Khristos, you’re gonna kill me.’ (Jesus Christ.)

‘Come down my throat, darling.’

‘Iisus, ty ubivayesh' menya.’ (Jesus, you’re killing me.)

‘What do you say? You wanna come down my throat?’

‘Bozhe, da! Yes, please.’

‘Okay.’

Helen took his swollen dick back in her mouth and expertly sucked him. After a few minutes he came rather violently, coating her mouth with his thick release. His eyes dilated behind his goggles when he saw her swallow every last drop.

‘Moya dorogaya koroleva, eto bylo potryasayushche. Tvoy rot - eto podarok ot Boga. Vy podarok ot boga. Podarok, kotorogo ya ne zasluzhivayu. Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she zhizni.’ (My darling queen, that was amazing. Your mouth is a gift from god. You are a gift from god. A gift that I do not deserve. I love you more than life itself.)

‘I have no idea what you just said but it sounded sweet.’

‘I was just saying how much I love you.’

‘I love you too, Zorro. So, so much.’

‘I know, kiska.’

‘Can we do.. more?’

‘More? What do you mean, lyubov moya?’

‘I want you to take me in all ways.’

‘I want that too, zaika.’

‘Then can we have sex?’

Zorro chuckled. ‘We just did, dorogaya.’

‘No, I mean, other ways to have sex.’

‘Other ways?’

‘Yes, other ways. Like real, proper sex.’

‘What we just did wasn’t real to you?’

Helen laughed at Zorro’s crushed expression. ‘No, it was.’

‘Then what do you mean, lyubov?’

‘I want you to put your dick in my pussy.’

‘Really?’ Zorro asked breathlessly.

‘Yes. Isn’t that what you meant when you said you’d make love to me?’

‘Yes but I didn’t want to assume. I didn’t want to push you into something you weren’t ready for.’

‘I am ready. Get your dick in me.’

‘With pleasure, kiska.’

He slowly pushed her back to lie on the grass and she spread her legs in invitation, which caused his mouth to water. She was so unbelievably sexy and beautiful. He couldn’t believe that she was his to have.

‘Milaya moya, you are so tempting. I can’t resist you.’

‘Then don’t.’

Zorro grinned wickedly before smashing their lips together in a heated kiss. He gently lowered himself until he was caging her in. Her fingers trailed down to her sex and fingered her lightly. She was so tight. It felt like heaven.

‘Lisichka, you are so beautiful. You’re so tight around my fingers. It’s heavenly.’

‘Ugh, don’t stop.’

‘I won’t, zaika.’

Zorro continued to finger her and she soon felt her release wash over her. Zorro moved down and lapped up the juices from her release. He then moved back up and smashed his lips back onto hers. It was an odd feeling testing her own release on Zorro’s tongue but it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact it only served to turn her on even more.

‘Zorro, please.’

‘Don’t worry, lisichka. I’ll give you what you need.’

‘What I need is you.’

‘I need you too.’

‘Get inside me.’

‘I will, lisichka moya. But first I need to find protection.’

‘Protection?’

‘Yes. I stole some from my co worker. I think they’re called condoms.’

Helen chuckled breathlessly. ‘Yeah. They are.’

‘They’re in my back pocket. I’ll get them. You just lie there looking all irresistible and inviting.’

‘Okay.’

Zorro climbed off of her and crawled over to his discarded bottoms and pulled out a little foil packet. After clutching it firmly in his palm he moved back over to her.

‘Put it on.’ She urged.

‘I will in a minute.’

‘Why a minute?’

‘I want to ask you something.’

‘Now?’

‘It’s related to what we’re doing.’

‘Okay. What is it?’

‘Will you ride me?’

‘Yes.’

‘You will?’

‘I will if you tell me what it is.’

‘It’s a sex position, kiska. The woman is on top of the man and it looks like she’s riding a horse.’

‘Oh. That sounds fun.’

Zorro grinned all feral-like. ‘I was hoping you’d say that.’

‘Let’s do it.’

‘With pleasure, zaika.’

Zorro rolled the condom onto his hard dick and moved to lie flat on his back. He then beckoned her over to him. Helen crawled over to him and he lifted her up by the hips as soon as he was close enough. She held her breath in anticipation and let out a loud groan when he slowly lowered her down onto his sheathed member. When he was fully seated inside of her he slowly began to thrust, sending sparks throughout her entire body. Zorro groaned in pleasure as he continued to thrust into her.

Helen threw her head back in ecstasy as Zorro expertly fucked her.

‘God, you’re amazing.’

‘Right back at you. You feel so good, zaika.’

‘I love you. I love you. I love you.’

‘I love you too, kiska. I love you more than anything in this world.’

‘Harder, Zorro. Fuck me harder.’

‘I’m not fucking you, dorogaya. I’m making love to you.’

‘Then make love to me harder.’

‘I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘You won’t. I trust you with my life.’

‘You have- ah- too much faith in me.’

‘And you have - oh _god_ right there- too little faith in yourself.’

‘For - oh _fuck_ \- good reason.’

‘Stop being so hard on yourself. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

‘Zorro, I need you. Go faster. Make me feel you for days.’

‘Alright, kiska. But remember you asked for it.’

‘I won’t. Now get on with it.’

‘I love your feistiness.’

‘I love _you_.’

‘And I love you. You are my whole world.’

‘Show me.’

‘With. Pleasure.’ Zorro said before he flipped her over so she was lying on her back with him on top.

‘That’s more like it.’

‘I’ll say.’

Zorro lifted her legs up and re entered her forcefully. He slammed into her at a brutal pace, causing her to moan uncontrollably. This felt amazing.

‘Zorro. Zorro. _Zorro_.’

‘Oh, dorogaya. Dorogaya moya, you feel so good.’

‘Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.’

‘I won’t. I won’t.’

Zorro continued to thrust into her at a steady but brutal pace. She knew she’d be feeling this for days after and the thought only served to make her more hot.

Eventually they both found their release and Helen winced a little as Zorro pulled out of her and got rid of the used condom.

‘I love you so much, kiska.’ Zorro said as he moved to lie beside her.

‘I love you too, honey.’

Zorro pulled her closer and she sighed in content as she laid her head on his broad chest. This was absolute heaven. Here in Zorro’s arms was exactly where she was meant to be and it killed her a little to admit that. It made her feel so guilty. Bucky was the love of her life and here she was lying naked in the arms of a man who wasn’t him, minutes after having rough passionate sex with him. She really was the worst person in the world.

‘I have to go soon, solnyshko.’ Zorro said after a few minutes of silence.

‘Why?’

‘I have to report back to base.’

‘Oh. Will you be gone for a while?’

‘No, just a few days.’

‘Good.’

‘I’ll always come back to you, lyubov moya. Even if it takes years.’

‘I know. I’d do the same for you.’

‘I do know. I love you, zhizn moya.’

‘I love you too, honey. So very, very much.’

‘I have to go. If I stay any longer they’ll get suspicious.’

‘Okay. I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you too, milaya.’

Helen watched as Zorro got up and put his clothes back on. He was so handsome and he was all hers. She just wished that he didn’t always have to leave her.

‘Poka, lyubov moya. Uvidimsya ochen' skoro. Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she chem chto-libo. Ya umru prezhde, chem pozvolyu chemu-libo sluchit'sya s toboy. Ty moye vse, ves' moy mir. Ty moy spasitel' zhizni, i ya vernus' k tebe. Beregi sebya, solnyshko moye. Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she, chem zhizn.’ Zorro said before he kissed her on the lips one last time before he vanished into thin air. (Goodbye for now, my love. I’ll see you soon. I love you more than anything. I’d die before I let anything happen to you. You are my everything, my whole world. You are my reason for living. I will come back to you. Take care of yourself, my sunshine. I love you more than life.)

Helen sighed. It seemed like the men she loved were always going to leave her behind for something. If she looked a little closer or had paid a little more attention however, she would have seen a familiar gold locket hanging from Zorro’s neck and she would have realised that her two loves were actually one and the same.


	22. The Asset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Asset AKA Zorro thinks back on his meetings with Helen.

* * *

The Asset was confused. The Asset was lost. The Asset was feeling actual emotions, something that had never happened to him before. The Asset wasn’t supposed to feel things. He was a mindless killing machine. He wasn’t a normal human being. He was a weapon to be used as often as his handlers wanted to use him. He wasn’t supposed to catch feelings or have opinions on things. If his handlers knew about this they would surely wipe him and he couldn’t have that. He never wanted to go back into that awful chair for as long as he lived.

The Asset couldn’t risk his handlers finding out about all of this which is why he tried to push all thoughts of the pretty red haired woman with the bright green eyes out of his mind. He had spotted her from afar one day and the minute he laid eyes on her he found himself growing attached to her. His mind screamed that he knew her but he couldn’t have. She didn’t work from HYDRA. He would have remembered if a pretty little thing like her worked there. Which was why he was utterly lost when his mind told him that he knew her. Surely he’d never forget a gorgeous woman like her. She was too memorable to forget.

So he pushed her out of his frazzled mind and completed his latest mission. He returned to base and was put into the icy chamber again.

He was brought out a few weeks later according to the date on the newspaper. His handler gave him a mission to assassinate a politician in New York and told him to make it look like a suicide.

All thoughts of the red haired green eyed woman were mostly forgotten but when he was on his way back to the base he saw her again. She was walking through the busy streets, her destination unknown. His mind screamed at him to go to her, telling him that she was the one from his broken memories. Curious he followed her all the way to the park and watched as she sat on a bench by herself. He was just about to go speak to her when a bushy haired brunette woman walked up to her and sat beside her.

The Asset watched avidly as she talked animatedly with the brunette. She was so incredibly beautiful. Surely she wouldn’t be with a cold blooded killer like him. No, she was too good. It would never happen.

‘I’m fine, ‘Mione. I’ve told you and Ron a million times.’

The Asset froze. He knew that voice. That voice was the one that always echoed around in his head. He knew that voice.

‘Forgive us if we don’t believe you.’

The brunette’s voice he didn’t recognise so it had to be the redhead’s voice that was so familiar to him.

‘I know. I get that you’re worried but there’s really no need to be.’ The red haired goddess said.

‘You’ve been through a big loss. It’s okay not to be okay.’

‘I know but I really am fine.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do. So how are things between you and Ron?’ His red haired angel asked.

‘As good as ever.’

‘Yeah? You have a fun date yesterday then?’

‘We did apart from the part when Ron nearly knocked over that old woman.’

‘What happened?’

‘We were waiting for the elevator up to the Empire State Building when Ron bumps into this old woman and sends her flying onto the floor.’

‘Was she okay?’

‘Yes but you should have seen Ron’s face.’

‘What was it like?’

‘A lot like the face he made when he received that Howler from his mother back in our second year of Hogwarts.’

The redhead laughed and the Asset’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that laugh. It was the laugh of the woman who gave him his locket. He remembered her laughing in delight the day she gave it to him. That was the same laugh. It had to be her. The woman he loved. He had finally found her. They would be together again just like she told him they’d be.

He was about to go up to her when an unwelcome voice called on him and stopped him in his tracks.

‘Asset.’

‘Rumlow.’ He said curtly, turning around to face his handler.

‘The mission is done. We must go back to base.’

‘Alright.’

‘Let’s go. Pierce is expecting us.’

The Asset nodded and took one last look at the redhead before turning and following Rumlow.

The next time the Asset saw the pretty redhead was by complete accident. He was on a mission, his very first one in a year since he was put on ice for a while, when he saw her talking with a dark haired man who looked somewhat familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. She looked so beautiful and his heart clenched with jealousy as he took in the way her eyes were bright with joy and her smile was wide. She enjoyed the company of the man and it had him seething with rage. She was his. She agreed to be his. They were going to be married soon and no suave dark haired Casanova could come between them. He’d make sure of it. He had to. He couldn’t lose her. Not again.

She went inside a tower like building before he could take a step closer and he cursed his bad luck. She was falling through his fingers just like before. He couldn’t let this happen again. He had to speak to her. She was his love. He couldn’t go without her any longer. He needed her.

A few weeks later the Asset’s luck finally turned. He was completing another mission in New York when he saw the red haired woman walking up the street alone. This was his chance to talk to her. There was nothing in his way this time. He could finally speak to her.

He managed to get her out of sight by leading her into an alley and his breath hitched at seeing her so close. They were finally reunited after so long. After all this time apart they were together again.

She wouldn’t let him get too close to her at first but after a while he was able to touch her a little. The feeling of her soft cheek against his hand made his body burst with joy. She was real. She was here. Unfortunately he couldn’t stay long but she did ask to see him again which thrilled him to his very core. He gave her face one last tender stroke before he left.

He saw her again a week later. She seemed excited to see him and this filled his heart with elation. Maybe she was starting to remember him. When he tried to convince her that she did know him she asked to see his face, which caused him to panic. His handlers had specifically told him not to remove the mask or goggles at any cost. But he couldn’t let her down. He loved her. He didn’t want to disappoint her. He just couldn’t do it.

He compromised by offering to take his goggles off and she seemed to like this option. He was thrilled when she said that she recognised his eyes but it soon faded when she claimed that she still didn’t know him. Why didn’t she remember him? Did HYDRA get a hold of her and wipe her memory with the chair? If that was the case then he’d kill them all. Damn them all to hell for doing that to his dorogaya. They’d pay if he found out they did that to her. She seemed to be warming up to him though so maybe all hope was not lost. He has to leave her all too quickly for his liking but he left with a promise to come back to her. God, he loved her so much.

He saw her again very soon and though it was a brief encounter he felt they made progress. She was actually starting to warm up to him. She constantly asked him to come back to her like he vaguely remembered her doing before. She was starting to remember him and their relationship. He promised he would come back even when she told him that she was moving to DC. He would follow her anywhere. She was the love of his life and he’d do anything to keep her.

The next time he saw her, a few months later, she took his breath away. She was dressed up to the nines in a stunning pale gold ballgown. She looked like an actual princess and he was so lucky to have her in his life. She was surprised to see him at first but once she got over the shock she was very happy. She told him that she missed him and his heart soared. She was coming back to him. Just a little more convincing and she’d remember everything, he was sure of it.

He was so captivated by the image of her in the yellow ballgown that he asked her to dance with him. It wasn’t all bad though. He had planned this part out when he overheard her and the ginger woman talking about the ball. He would have liked to have asked her in a nicer and more romantic way instead of just blurting it out. This was supposed to be the moment that their relationship would continue in the way it had in his hazy memories. He should have been more romantic. Thankfully she said yes and he grinned as he led her to the abandoned mansion he had found on one of his missions.

The awed look on his love’s face when he took her into the ballroom was worth all the pain in the world. It made his miserable life worth living. If he could spend the rest of his days making her happy then he’d live forever if he had the chance. Her happiness was worth everything to him.

Having her in his arms as they twirled about the ballroom was like being in heaven. It just felt so right. She was meant to be in his arms. They were meant to be together. They were soulmates.

After their dance he led her out to the balcony to have a seat. His heart shattered into pieces when she told him that she loved someone else. It couldn’t possibly be true. She was his fiancée, not anyone else’s. This couldn’t be happening to him.

When she blurted out that she loved him as well he felt himself coming back to life. She loved him. She was his. Everything was right in the world.

The kiss they shared would forever be burned into his memory. It felt so right yet so passionate at the same time. It was so full of love and devotion that it took his breath away. He knew in that moment that he had been right all along. She was the woman from his memories, the one he remembered even after he got wiped. She was the love of his life and he’d spend the rest of his life proving that he was hers.

It killed him to drop her off at the ball but he knew that she’d be safe. Nothing bad would happen to her. He would come back to see her alive and well, he was sure of it.

She was in fact alive and well when he came back to see her. He knew that by now she’d be living in DC so he immediately headed there after one of his missions. At first he panicked when he couldn’t find her anywhere but found her safe and sound the next day. He worried when she told him that she’d been out on a mission. He couldn’t risk her getting hurt. He wasn’t there to protect her. She couldn’t go out on missions. She couldn’t die, not again.

He calmed down a little when she told him that she was unharmed. At least she was safe, he thought with great relief. When he gave her the red star key chain she was thrilled and the look of happiness on her face is one that he’d never forget. She was absolutely perfect. She didn’t even flinch when he showed her his metal arm. She even said that she loved it. How was she even real? She was like a goddamn angel. Especially when she kissed the scars caused by it so gently and tenderly. She was a gift from god. A gift he didn’t deserve but one he would cherish with all his heart.

They ended up having passionate sex right there in the park. Thankfully no one saw them but the mere memory of it had him sporting a hard on. The way she tasted, the way she felt, there was no way to describe it. It was like being in heaven. No, better than being in heaven.Much better.

But something about it still bothered him. Right before they made love his dorogaya pulled out a chain and attached the red star to it. She said that they were the dog tags that her fiancé had given her before he shipped out to war. It bothered him a little that she still wore them but that feeling was nothing compared to the horrible feeling he got when he read the name engraved on them.

_James Buchanan Barnes._

Why did that name hurt him so much? Was it the conformation that his dorogaya loved someone that wasn’t him? No, it couldn’t be. He had accepted that she would always love her dead fiancé. It didn’t stop her from being with him so it didn’t matter. So why did the name bother him? Why did it cause a searing pain in his head? It was just a name. It shouldn’t cause him this much grief. So why did it?

Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice was urging him to remember. But what was he supposed to remember? A lot, he figured. He had no real memories. Why didn’t he remember one thing about himself? The only thing he knew for certain was that his dorogaya was the woman from his past. But he didn’t even remember her name. Why was he so broken? He couldn’t remember the love of his life’s name. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he remember?

He was startled out of his depressing thoughts by a movement to his left. He smiled when he saw that it was his dorogaya. She was walking back to her apartment building, which he only knew because he watched her most hours of the day, and he grinned when he saw that she was alone.

He was about to go to her when a blond haired woman wearing an awful pink outfit came up to her. He sighed in defeat but listened to their conversation anyway.

‘Hello. You live in my building, right?’

His dorogaya nodded. ‘Yeah. You’re the nurse, aren’t you?’

‘I am.’

‘Is it fun?’

‘It’s fulfilling.’

‘I bet it is.’

‘I’m Kate.’

‘Helen.’

The Asset jolted in shock when his dorogaya introduced herself. Helen. Yes, Helen. That was her name. How could he have forgotten? He always thought that her name was as almost as beautiful as she was. Helen. His Helen. He remembered. Helen was the name of his dorogaya. She was definitely the woman from his past. The one he never forgot despite being wiped countless times. He had definitely found her and he wasn’t going to let her go. They were together again and nothing would rip them apart. Not again. Never again.

He watched with longing as she disappeared into her apartment building. He loved her. He needed her. He couldn’t live without her. But he would wait until the timing was right before he spoke to her again. He didn’t want to cause chaos in her life. If he went to her now he’d be making things worse for her. That friend of hers who wanted her to stay away from him would surely find out if he followed her to her apartment and he couldn’t do that to her. He only wanted to make her happy and coming between her and her friend would only make her unhappy. And he couldn’t do that to her. She should always be happy. She was too good not to be. He would wait. They had forever in front of them anyway. What was a few more days? He could do this.

A couple of weeks later she was walking through the park again and he seized his opportunity to talk to her. He had missed her so much.

‘Hello, kiska.’

He watched with a smile as she spun around to face him. The joy on her face when she saw him caused his heart to skip a beat. He made her happy. Seeing him made her happy. He was so proud of himself.

‘Hey, Zorro. I missed you so much.’

‘I missed you too, zaika.’

‘Have you been on a mission?’ She asked curiously.

‘A few.’

‘Were they successful?’

‘Of course they were.’

‘I’m glad. I don’t like thinking of you getting hurt.’

‘Neither do I, lyubov moya.’

‘I’m fine, Zorro.’

‘Are you sure? No injuries?’ He fretted, secretly checking to make sure that she wasn’t hiding any injuries from him.

‘No. I’m completely fine.’

‘Good. I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt.’ He sighed in relief.

‘It wouldn’t be your fault if I did. You wouldn’t have been there.’

‘That’s what kills me, dorogaya. It physically hurts me knowing that I can’t be there to protect you.’

‘I can take care of myself, honey.’ She said soothingly.

‘I know. I’d just feel better if I could.’

‘I know.’

‘I love you so much, solnyshko moye.’

‘I love you too, darling. So, so much.’

‘C’mere.’

The Asset, or Zorro as his dorogaya called him, grinned in delight when she ran straight into his open arms. He hugged her tight, relishing the feeling of having her in his arms. He never wanted to let her go. He couldn’t lose her again. It would break him if he did. He kissed the top of her forehead and breathed in her scent. He loved her so much and he’d spend the rest of his life with her if he had the chance.

‘I want to be with you all the time, milaya.’ He admitted softly.

‘Isn’t this enough?’

‘No. I want us to have a life together, lyubimaya.’

‘I want that too.’ She said with a big smile on her face.

‘Then I’ll make it happen.’

‘Can’t you just move in with me?’

‘I thought your friend didn’t want me to see you.’

‘He doesn’t but I love you. Nothing he can say will stop me from wanting to be with you.’

‘Don’t you live with this friend?’

‘I do but we can find our own apartment.’

‘I have to quit my job first.’

‘Then quit.’

The Asset sighed. ‘It’s not that easy.’

‘How?’

‘I can’t just leave my job without consequences.’

‘What kind of consequences?’ She asked in worry.

‘I don’t know if I want to find out.’

‘Then let’s run away together. We’ll go to a place where they’d never find us.’

‘That sounds nice, lisichka.’

‘Are we doing it then?’

‘Of course we are. I’ll just tell you when and then we’ll go.’

‘I can’t wait.’

‘Me neither.’

‘I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, kiska. More than words can describe.’

‘You’re amazing.’

‘You’re beautiful.’

‘Mm. Come here and kiss me.’

‘With pleasure, milaya moya.’ He said before he smashed their lips together.

The feeling of kissing her would never get old. It was absolutely indescribable. It was better than anything he’d ever experienced in his life. Her lips were so soft and sweet. He couldn’t get enough of them.

‘You mean everything to me, kiska. I will never let you down.’ He said after breaking the kiss.

‘You mean everything to me too, honey.’

‘I know.’

‘And you could never let me down.’

‘I’d rather die than let you down.’

‘Don’t go that far.’ She warned.

‘I would though.’

‘I know and I love how you care so much.’

‘I will always care about you, zaika. I will never stop loving you.’

‘And I will never stop loving you.’

‘I don’t deserve you.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘I really don’t, kiska. I’ve done bad things.’ He said in shame.

‘Who hasn’t?’

‘You.’

‘I’ve certainly done things that I regret.’

‘I don’t believe that.’

‘Nobody’s perfect, Zorro. Not even me.’

‘You’re perfect in my eyes.’

His angel shook her head. ‘You think too highly of me.’

‘No, I don’t. I just see you for who you truly are.’

‘How do you see me?’ She asked curiously.

‘You’re kind, selfless, beautiful, strong, brave.’

‘You really think that?’ She asked in surprise.

‘I don’t think that about you. I know that you’re all those things.’

‘You’re so sweet.’

‘And you are perfect. My perfect little angel.’

‘Stop it. You’re making me blush.’

‘I’m just stating the truth.’

‘No, I think you just like seeing me blush.’

‘That too.’

‘Why do you call me an angel?’

‘Because that’s what you are.’

‘How?’

‘Because you saved me, dorogusha. You brought me back from a dark place. You made me human again. You gave me something to live for.’ (Sweetheart.)

‘Really?’

‘Yes. You are my angel, the light of my life.’

‘God, I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, kiska. More than you will ever know.’

‘You deserve me, Zorro. You’re more than worthy of my love.’

‘If you say that I am then I believe you.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes, I do. I know you’d never lie to me, zaika.’

‘I would never.’

‘I know and I’d never lie to you.’

‘I know you wouldn’t.’

‘I wish I didn’t always have to leave you.’

‘I know but you always come back to me.’

‘And I always will.’

‘So there’s no need to worry. No matter how long we’re apart we’ll always come back to each other again.’

‘Nothing could stop me from coming back to you.’

‘I know.’

‘I have to go now, lyubov.’

‘Okay.’

‘I will come and see you very soon, okay?’

‘I know.’

‘Proshchay, serdtse moye. Ya tebya ochen' sil'no lyublyu. Ty svet moyey zhizni. Ya vernus' k tebe, ya obeshchayu. My skoro snova budem vmeste, lyubimaya moya. Ya tebya lyublyu. Ne zabyvay, chto ya lyublyu tebya bol'she, chem sama zhizn.’ (Goodbye, my heart. I love you very much. You are the light of my life. I will come back to you, I promise. We will be together very soon, my beloved. I love you. Don’t forget that I love you more than life itself.)

He kissed her one last time before leaving. He would see her again. Nothing could stop him from doing so. He would die before he would let himself be apart from her any longer.


	23. Confronting The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen accompanies Steve to the Smithsonian and then to visit Peggy. Afterwards she convinces him to visit Sam Wilson at the VA.

* * *

It took Steve a few days to come out of his bad mood. Granted, he hadn’t completely come out of it but he was willing to venture out of his room which he wouldn’t have done before. So that was progress.

‘I’m sorry for being grumpy, Helen.’ He said sheepishly.

Helen gave him a comforting smile. ‘Don’t be sorry, Steve. You had every right to be angry.’

‘I shouldn’t have taken it out on you though.’ The blond sighed.

‘You didn’t.’

‘I still shouldn’t have been so moody. I can’t have been good company.’

‘You weren’t but I have other friends, Steve.’

‘Did you hang out with Natasha and Pepper then?’

‘Yeah among others.’ She said quietly and with a little guilt. She hated lying to him but he just wouldn’t understand why she was meeting with Zorro.

‘I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend for the past few days.’

‘I don’t care, Steve. You were hurting. You were upset and angry. You’re allowed to take time for yourself.’

‘I’m still sorry.’

Helen grinned at him. ‘I know. You wouldn’t be Steve Rogers if you weren’t.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine. Are you?’

‘I’m still a little angry. I don’t know why Fury thinks that this is okay.’

‘You can’t agree with everyone.’ She pointed out.

Steve let out a long sigh. ‘No. I guess I can’t.’

‘You do what you think is right, Steve.’

‘What if what I think is right is not what SHIELD thinks is right?’

‘You do it anyway.’

‘Did you?’

‘I did.’

‘How?’

‘It certainly wasn’t easy but it was the right thing to do so it was worth it in the end.’

‘What happened?’

‘The Ministry wouldn’t do what was right so I had to. Ron, Hermione and all my friends helped of course.’

‘What wouldn’t they do?’

‘They wouldn’t believe that Voldemort, the magic equivalent of Red Skull or Hitler, was back. They refused to fight against him because their fear stopped them from believing it. I knew I had to do something so I did. I spoke out that he was back and formed a secret society that taught defensive spells. I did everything I could to help.’ Helen explained.

‘Wow. That’s amazing. You’re a hero.’ Steve said in awe.

‘Most people would agree with you.’

‘I’m not surprised.’

‘That wasn’t the only thing I did.’ She said reluctantly.

‘What else did you do?’ Steve asked curiously.

‘There was a prophecy the year I was born saying that the one who would defeat him would be born at the end of July. I was born July 31st.’

‘The prophecy was about you, wasn’t it?’

Helen nodded. ‘Voldemort certainly believed so. He went to the house where my parents and I were living in at the time and murdered my parents. He would have killed me too if my mother hadn’t sacrificed her life to save mine. That’s how I got the scar on my forehead.’

‘The lightning bolt one?’

‘Yeah.’

‘How did you survive?’

‘My mother gave up her life for mine and that willing sacrifice saved me from death. It protected me from a curse that otherwise would have killed me.’

‘Is that why you’re famous?’

‘Yes. I’m the only magical person to ever survive the Killing Curse.’

‘Wow. It’s like a story from a fairytale or something.’

Helen sighed. ‘It is. Unfortunately for me it’s very real.’

‘Your parents were murdered?’ Steve asked in shock.

‘Yeah. In cold blood, with no remorse. Their deaths caused him pleasure like all the others did.’

‘He sounds awful.’

‘He was worse than a nightmare.’

‘Did someone stop him?’

‘Yes.’

‘Who?’

‘Me.’ She said reluctantly.

‘You’re a hero. A far better hero than I am.’

‘You stopped HYDRA and saved Bucky and hundreds of others from death. That’s the definition of a hero.’

‘Stopping a cold blooded murderer is the definition of a hero.’ Steve countered.

‘Maybe we’re both heroes then.’

‘Maybe.’

‘How did you go against the Ministry?’

‘Because I had to. I had no other choice. The greater good was at stake. I couldn’t let thousands die because of the Ministry’s incompetence.’

‘That’s very admirable, Helen.’

‘It had to be done.’ She shrugged.

‘Didn’t they want to use you for their own gain?’

‘They did but I refused. I didn’t agree with their methods so I flat out told them no. I wasn’t going to be used by liars and cowards like them.’

‘I wish I could do that.’

‘You can.’

‘How did you refuse someone with more power than you did?’

‘No one can tell you what to do, Steve. No one.’ Helen said firmly.

‘If only it was that easy.’

‘It is, Steve.’

‘How did you do it?’

‘I told them no, simple as that.’

‘Was it really that simple?’

‘Yes. I swore to myself that I would not be used like that and I still stand by it. I will not be ruled by anyone, Steve. Not without my permission and you shouldn’t either.’  
  


‘I wish it was that easy but the world needs Captain America.’

‘And the Wizarding world needed me but I didn’t let anyone use me. I did it on my own and the world was saved. You can do the same.’ She encouraged.

‘You think so?’

‘I know so. Be the Steve Rogers from before the war. The one who wouldn’t let anyone tell him what to do and did what he thought was right.’

‘I will. I just don’t know how.’

‘That’s because you haven’t put your past behind you.’

‘I guess not.’

‘You haven’t, Steve. You still cling onto it like it’s still there.’

‘Then what do I do about it?’

‘You confront it.’

‘How?’

‘By going to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian for a start.’

‘Okay. I can do that.’

‘Great. When do you want to go?’

‘Now, I guess. I think it’s better to get it over with.’

‘Good.’

‘Will you come with me?’

‘Of course.’

‘Alright then. Let’s go.’

‘How are we getting there?’

‘On my motorbike.’

‘I’m not going on your motorbike, Steve.’ Helen said, crossing her arms in defiance.

‘Why not?’

‘There’s no room for me.’

‘There is. Trust me.’

‘Fine but if I fall off then you’re in trouble.’

‘I’ll take your word for it.’

‘You better.’

Steve chuckled. ‘Let’s go.’

‘Lead the way.’

Half an hour later they arrived at the Smithsonian. Helen hadn’t fallen off the motorbike thankfully so that was good. Steve put on a baseball cap to hide his face which Helen didn’t think was a very good disguise but nobody seemed to recognise him so it didn’t matter.

‘A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honour, bravery and sacrifice.’ A voice echoed.

Helen followed Steve over to the exhibit and watched silently as he took it all in.

‘Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American warfare. One that would transform him into the world’s first super soldier.’

A little boy recognised Steve but didn’t say anything after the blond silently gestured for him not to. Helen then watched as he looked at old footage of himself.

‘In this rare footage, everyone’s favourite warrior, Captain America...’

Steve didn’t stay to watch the footage long however because he spotted the display that held the old uniforms of himself, Bucky and the other Commandos. Helen followed him and held his hand in solidarity. Steve gave her a smile before turning back to the display.

‘Battle tested, Captain America and his Howling Commandos quickly earned their stripes. Their mission, taking down HYDRA, the Nazi rogue science division.’

Helen winced when she saw where Steve’s gaze landed next. The displayhonouring Bucky. She didn’t know if she was ready to see it again but she’d do it for Steve. He needed her right now and she’d be strong for him even if she was dying on the inside.

The two of them held each other close as they walked over to the display. They could get through this together. They had to.

‘Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.’

Helen choked back a sob. The mere mention of Bucky’s death had her breaking down. She missed him so much and there was no way she could get him back. Steve gave her a comforting hug but she knew that he was crying too. Bucky would be missed by both of them, though in different ways.

She smiled when she saw some footage of Bucky laughing at something Steve said. He looked so happy and carefree, exactly the way she remembered him. God, how she loved him. She’d do anything for him to be with her right now.

She wiped her eyes before following Steve to the next display. An interview with Peggy Carter.

‘That was a difficult winter. A blizzard had trapped half our battalion behind the German line. Steve...Captain Rogers, he fought his way through a HYDRA blockade that had pinned our allies down for months. He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would...who would become my husband as it turned out. Even after he died, Steve was still changing my life.’ The film version of Peggy was saying.

Helen looked over at Steve and saw grief and regret in his eyes.

‘You okay, Steve?’

‘Yeah, I just feel bad for not going to visit her. She speaks so highly of me and I can’t even pay her one little visit.’

‘It’s not to late to change that.’ Helen said with encouragement.

‘I know but I’m afraid.’

‘Why?’

‘Seeing Peggy all old is just going to be hard.’

‘I know but you’ve got to do it. She’s one of the only people from your past that’s still alive. You need to find that closure.’

‘Do you think she’ll remember me?’

‘Of course she will. From what she said in that video I don’t think she ever forgot you.’

‘I’ve missed her.’

‘Yeah, I know how you feel.’

‘You’re coming with me, right?’

‘Of course.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘No problem, Steve.’

Helen climbed back onto Steve’s motorbike, putting her arms around his waist as he drove to the home where Peggy was living.

‘Maybe I should wait outside.’ Helen said after they had arrived.

‘Why?’

‘As far as Peggy knows I’m dead. I don’t want to freak her out.’

‘Peggy thought I was dead.’

‘Yeah, but she would have seen the news about your return. There’s been nothing like that for me.’

‘Peggy’s always been a tough lady. I’m sure she won’t die from the shock.’

‘If she does then it’s your fault for jinxing it.’

‘She won’t.’

‘Only one way to find out.’

‘Let’s go then.’

As Helen predicted Peggy was shocked when she saw her.

‘Helen? Helen Evans? Is that you?’

‘Yes, Peggy. It’s me.’

‘How? How are you alive?’

‘You’re lucky you’re already in bed because this will come as a shock.’

Much to Helen’s surprise Peggy believed her story right away and didn’t seem at all shocked by it.

‘You really believe me?’

‘Darling, I lived through a war and helped found SHIELD. Not much can shock me these days.’

‘I guess not.’

‘How are you, Helen?’

‘I’m okay. I got a job at SHIELD actually.’

‘That’s good. I always thought you’d make a good agent.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, I saw the same fire in you that I saw in myself.’

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as you, Peg.’

‘Nonsense. You’re selling yourself short. You’re just as capable as I am and I know you will do great things.’

‘Thanks, Peggy.’

‘How are you coping with Bucky being gone?’

‘Not well but I think I’m managing a little better.’

‘I’m sure it’ll get easier with time.’

‘I don’t know.’

Peggy pursed her lips for a second before turning to Steve.

‘Steven, I need a few minutes alone with Helen, if you don’t mind.’

‘Of course. I’ll just wait outside.’

‘And no eavesdropping. This is a private conversation.’ 

‘I would never.’

‘You better not, Steven. I can still kick your arse to kingdom come if I need to.’ She said sternly.

‘I’m going and I swear I won’t listen in.’

‘So, what’s troubling you, love?’ Peggy asked after Steve had left.

‘I’ve been feeling guilty.’ Helen admitted with a sigh.

‘About what?’

‘I met someone.’

‘What kind of someone?’

‘I met this guy who wears a mask. I think he’s some top secret spy or something.’

‘And you’ve fallen in love with this fellow, haven’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘And you feel like you’re betraying Bucky by being with him?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re not, Helen. Bucky would want you to be happy and if this masked man makes you happy then I’m sure he’ll be okay with it.’

‘He won’t. I know I wouldn’t be okay with it if it was the other way around.’

‘Have you ever thought that this masked man might be Bucky in disguise?’

‘No. How could it be?’

‘How could it not?’ Peggy countered.

‘Because he would have told me if he was.’

‘Maybe he doesn’t remember.’

‘He did say he can’t remember anything but loving me.’

‘There you go then.’

‘But how do I know if Zorro is Bucky?’

‘Does it feel like he could be?’

‘It does. They have the same eyes.’

‘Then it’s probably him.’

‘How can I be sure though?’

‘Have you ever seen him without the mask?’

‘Not fully, no.’

‘Then ask him to take it off.’

‘He says he’s not allowed.’

‘Who told him that?’

‘His boss, I think.’

‘Have you met his boss?’

‘No.’

‘Then why can’t he take it off when you’re alone?’

‘He says that they’d know if he did.’

‘Mm. That doesn’t sound good.’

‘What do you mean?’ Helen asked, frowning at Peggy’s concerned tone.

‘It sounds like he’s there under duress.’

‘You think he’s a prisoner?’

‘If he’s too afraid to take off a mask when you’re alone then yes, I’d say that he’s a prisoner.’

‘Then I have to get him out.’ She said determinedly.

‘It might not be that easy.’

‘Then I’ll make it easy.’

‘I don’t doubt that you will.’ Peggy said with a small smile.

‘Whether Zorro is just Zorro or is in fact Bucky I’ll rescue him no matter what.’

‘I know you will.’

‘It’s good to see you again, Peggy.’

‘You too. I never thought I’d see you again.’

‘Same.’

‘Does Steve know about any of this?’

‘About Zorro?’

‘Yes.’

‘No, he doesn’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘He’ll just get angry.’

‘You don’t know that.’

‘He still won’t understand.’

‘No, maybe he won’t. But he will want you to be happy, even if it is with someone who isn’t Bucky.’

‘Maybe Zorro is Bucky.’

‘There’s only one way to find out.’

‘I guess so.’

‘I know you can do it, Helen.’

‘What if Zorro isn’t Bucky?’

‘Then you love him anyway.’

‘Okay.’

‘I think we should let Steve back in now, don’t you?’

‘Of course. I’ll go get him.’

‘You should be proud of yourself, Peggy.’ Steve said after he had come back in, his gaze on the pictures of Peggy’s husband and children.

‘Mm. I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.’

‘I’m slowly building it back up again.’

‘That’s good. I just want you to be happy, Steve.’

‘I am happy.’

‘I’m glad.’

Steve’s gaze turned sad and Helen was suddenly concerned that he was going to start crying.

‘What is it?’ Peggy asked worriedly.

‘For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I’m not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It’s just not the same.’

Peggy chuckled. ‘You’re always so dramatic. Look, you saved the world. We rather...mucked it up.’

‘You didn’t. Knowing that you helped found SHIELD is half the reason I stay.’

Peggy smiled and took Steve’s hand. ‘Hey. The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.’

Peggy started to cough and Steve turned to get her some water. He goes to hand it to her but pauses.

‘Peggy.’

Helen winced in sympathy when she saw the look that Peggy was giving Steve. It was like she was seeing him for the first time since he was frozen.

‘Steve?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re alive! You...you came, you came back.’

‘Yeah, Peggy.’

Peggy began to cry. ‘It’s been so long. So long.’

‘Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance.’

‘I’m really proud of you, you know.’ Helen said after they had left Peggy’s room.

‘You are?’

‘I am. You took two really big steps today.’

‘It doesn’t feel like it.’

‘It should. You confronted your past, Steve. Now you can finally move on.’

‘I don’t know if I can.’

‘Then you go to a place that will help you do so.’

‘Where?’

‘To see Sam at the VA. He offered for you to go and I think it would be really good for you.’

‘How?’

‘I think seeing other veterans will help you move on. Seeing that other people are just as lost as you might help you get out of this funk you seem to be in.’

‘You really think it will help?’

‘I know it will help, Steve.’

‘Then let’s go.’

Sam was just finishing up a counselling session with some veterans when they got there so they decided to wait until it was over.

‘The thing is I think it’s getting worse. A cop pulled me over last week, he thought I was drunk. I swerved to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED.’ A female veteran said.

‘Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back. It’s our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little man-purse? It's up to you.’ Sam advised.

After all the veterans had left Sam spotted the two of them waiting and came over with a smile.

‘Look who it is. The running man and his pretty lady friend.’

‘Hello, Sam. It’s nice to see you again. Helen greeted with a smile.

‘It’s nice to see you too, Helen.’

‘Caught the last few minutes. It’s pretty intense.’ Steve said.

‘Yeah, brother, we all got the same problems. Guilt, regret.’

‘You lose someone?’ Steve asked.

‘My wingman, Riley. Flying a night mission. Standard PJ rescue op, nothing we hadn’t done a thousand times before, till RPG knocked Riley’s dumb ass out of the sky. Nothing I could do. It’s like I was up there just to watch.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘After that, I had really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?’

‘But you’re happy now, back in the world?’

‘Hey, the number of people giving me orders is down to about zero. So, hell, yeah. You thinking about getting out?’

Steve shrugged. ‘No. I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t know what I would do with myself if I did.’

‘Ultimate fighting?’ Sam suggested, causing both Helen and Steve to laugh.

‘It’s just a great idea off the top of my head. But seriously, you could do whatever you want to do. What makes you happy?’

‘My friends. My boyfriend.’

‘The people you love then.’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s not a bad thing.’

‘It doesn’t make finding a new path easier.’

‘Maybe it does.’


	24. Farewell Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen, Steve and Natasha deal with the aftermath of Fury’s death.

* * *

After having lunch with Sam, Helen and Steve returned to their apartment late in the afternoon.

‘What did you and Peggy talk about?’ Steve asked as they sat down on the couch.

‘That is classified information, Rogers.’

‘Come on, I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.’

‘I know.’

‘So why don’t you?’

‘It’s complicated.’

‘Then uncomplicate it.’

Helen giggled. ‘That’s not a word.’

‘It is now.’

‘I’m still not telling you.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s not worth telling.’

‘Tell me anyway.’

‘She just asked me how I was coping without Bucky.’

‘I could have been in the room for that.’

‘I didn’t order you out. Peggy did.’

‘That’s true.’

‘It was just a little girl talk, Rogers. Relax.’

‘I’m not worried.’

‘Yes, you are. You’ve got your worried face on.’

‘I don’t have a worried face.’ Steve protested.

‘Yes, you do.’

‘I do not.’

‘You do, Steve.’

‘Okay, maybe I do.’

‘Why are you worried anyway?’ She asked.

‘I know talking about Bucky is a sore spot for you.’

‘Peggy was my closest friend back in the 40s, apart from you. I’m more than comfortable talking about Bucky with her.’

‘I know. It’s just, you’ve been doing so well lately. I didn’t want the mention of Bucky derailing all of that.’

‘I’ll never be okay with Bucky’s death, Steve.’

‘I know. I just don’t want you to lose yourself to grief.’

‘I’m fine, Steve.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do say so.’

‘Can I ask you something?’ Steve said after a few moments of silence.

‘Of course.’

‘Do you really think you’ll never see Bucky again?’

‘I don’t know, Steve.’

‘Maybe one day you will.’

‘Yeah, when I’m dead.’ She said with a snort.

‘When did you become so cynical?’

‘After I lost Bucky, I suppose.’

‘Don’t give up hope.’

‘I already have.’

‘Don’t do that.’

‘How can I not? Bucky’s gone. What have I got to live for?’

‘A lot of things.’

‘I just want Bucky. Why is that so hard to get?’ She whined.

‘I don’t know, sweetheart.’

‘It’s not fair.’

‘I know it’s not.’

‘Bucky. I need Bucky.’

‘I know you do.’

‘I still love him, Steve.’

‘I know that too.’

‘Why did he have to go?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Bucky... I love you.’

‘He loves you too.’

‘I know. I just wish he was here to tell me himself.’

‘Maybe one day he will be.’

‘Maybe. I’m going to take a nap. I’ll see you in a bit.’

‘Okay. Sweet dreams.’

‘Thanks, Steve. For everything.’

‘No problem.’

The next day Helen and Steve were returning from a evening stroll in the park when they bumped into their blond neighbour, the nurse Kate. She was talking on the phone and had a laundry basket in her hands.

‘That’s so sweet. That is so nice. Hey. I gotta go, though. Okay, bye.’

Kate turned to Steve and Helen and smiled. ‘My aunt, she’s kind of an insomniac.’

‘Hey, if you want...if you want, you’re welcome to use our machine. Might be cheaper than the one in the basement.’ Steve offered like the true gentleman he was.

‘Oh, yeah? What’s it cost?’

‘A cup of coffee?’

‘Thank you, but um...I already have a load in downstairs, and, uh...you really don’t want my scrubs in your machine. I’ve just finished orientation in the infectious diseases ward, so.’

‘Ah, well, we’ll keep our distance.’

‘Well hopefully not too far. It’s always nice to make new friends.’

‘Oh, and I think you left your stereo on.’ Kate said when they had both turned to go into their apartment.

‘Oh. Right, thank you.’

Steve waited until she went down the stairs before turning to Helen.

‘Stay close to me. I don’t want you getting hurt.’

‘I can take care of myself, Steve.’ Helen said, rolling her eyes.

‘I know. I just want to make sure you’re safe.’

‘We’ll have each other’s backs, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘How are we getting in?’

‘Through the window.’

‘I hate you so much.’

‘No, you don’t.’

‘I certainly like you a little less now you’re making me crawl through a window.’

‘Love you too.’

‘Let’s just go.’

‘Right. Stay behind me.’

Helen nodded and followed Steve to the window of their apartment. Steve cautiously opened it and climbed through, Helen following a few seconds later. Steve grabbed his shield and held it up as he warily walked through the dark apartment, Helen at his heels.

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they saw Fury sitting on the couch.

‘I don’t remember giving you a key.’ Steve said.

‘You really think I’d need one? My wife kicked me out.’

‘Didn’t know you were married.’

‘A lot of things you don’t about me.’

‘I know, Nick. That’s the problem.’

Steve turned the lamp on and they both get a shock when they see that Fury is injured. But Fury gestured for them to be silent and turned the lamp back off.

He then types something out on his phone and shows it to them.

“Ears everywhere.”

‘I’m sorry to have to do this, but I had no place else to crash.’

Fury typed out an other message. It read “SHIELD compromised.” and Helen and Steve shared a concerned look at this.

‘Who else knows about your wife?’ Steve asked.

“You, me and Helen.”

‘Just...my friends.’ Fury replied.

‘Is that what we are?’ Steve asked.

‘That’s up to you.’

Suddenly three gun shots rang out and hit Fury, causing him to collapse. Helen screamed in terror as she saw the blood pouring out of the man. Steve dragged Fury to the next room and was just about to leave to look for the shooter when Fury grabbed his arm to stop him.

He held out a flash drive and Steve took it.

‘Don’t ...trust anyone.’ He said before passing out.

Helen looked at Steve with wide eyes. ‘I can’t believe this is happening.’

‘Neither can I.’

The sound of someone breaking into the apartment had Steve on high alert again. He pushed Helen behind him and held out his shield.

‘Captain Rogers? Agent Potter?’

Both relaxed at the sound of the familiar voice of their neighbour. The relief faded a little when they saw her walking towards them with a gun.

‘Captain, Agent, I’m Agent 13 of SHIELD Special Service.’

‘Kate?’

‘I’m assigned to protect you.’

‘On whose orders?’

‘His.’ She said, pointing at the unconscious Fury.

She then kneeled down by Fury and pulled out a radio after checking his pulse. ‘Foxtrot is down, he’s unresponsive. I need EMTs.’

‘Do you have a twenty on the shooter?’

Steve spotted the shooter at the window. ‘Tell him I’m in pursuit.’

Steve smashed through the window with his shield and ran after the shooter. Helen glanced at Fury one last time before she ran after Steve.

It was easy to know what direction Steve went in. All she had to do was follow the damage he caused by smashing into the walls. She caught up with Steve just as he climbed onto the roof.

‘Helen, stay back.’

‘Why?’

‘The shooter is here. He’s dangerous.’

Helen followed Steve’s gaze and her heart dropped when she saw who was standing on the roof with them.

Zorro. Her Zorro. He killed Fury. He was a murderer. How could this have happened?

Steve threw his shield at him but Zorro caught it and threw it back at him. The sudden impact winded Steve, letting Zorro make his escape. He spotted her just as he was about to jump off the roof and his gaze turned loving and tender. He blew her a kiss but Helen was in too much shock to return it. Zorro gave her a pleading look before he jumped off of the roof and disappeared into the night.

Steve ran to the edge of the roof and cursed as he couldn’t find Zorro anywhere.

‘Damn it. He’s disappeared.’

‘We have bigger problems right now, Steve. Fury could be dead and SHIELD is compromised.’

‘You’re right. We better go.’

  
Helen and Steve were watching the doctors operating on Fury when Natasha arrived.

‘Is he gonna make it?’ She asked.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Tell me about the shooter.’

‘He’s fast and strong. Had a metal arm.’

Maria Hill joined them, interrupting their conversation about Zorro. Helen still couldn’t believe that Zorro was behind this. He was so loving and gentle. How could he be a cold blooded murderer?

‘Ballistics?’ Natasha asked.

‘Three slugs, no rifling. Completely untraceable.’ Hill replied.

‘Soviet-made.’

‘Yeah.’

Suddenly Fury’s condition deteriorated and they all watched in shock as the doctors and nurses tried to help him.

‘He’s in V-tach.’ One of the nurses said.

‘Crash cart coming in.’

‘Nurse, help me with the drape.’

‘BP is dropping.’

‘Defibrillator!’

The four of them watched in utter disbelief as Fury began to flatline.

‘I want you to charge him at one hundred.’

‘Don’t do this to me, Nick.’ Natasha muttered.

‘Stand back! Three, two, one. Clear!’

The doctor shocked Fury with the defibrillator but nothing happened.

‘Pulse?’

‘No pulse.’

‘Okay. 200, please. Stand back! Three, two, one. Clear!’ The doctor said as he gave Fury another shock.

‘Give me epinephrine! Pulse?’

‘Negative.’

‘Don’t do this to me, Nick. Don’t do this to me.’ Natasha muttered, causing Helen to give her arm a comforting squeeze.

The doctors continued to try and revive Fury but he was still flatlining. Helen wrapped a comforting arm around Natasha’s shoulders as they announced Fury’s death.

‘What’s the time?’

‘1:03, Doctor.’

‘Time of death, 1:03 AM.’

Helen watched Steve look down at the flash drive Fury gave him and she knew that the blond was trying to figure out exactly what was on it. If Fury trusted him to have it then it must be important and she knew that Steve wouldn’t stop until he found out why.

Helen, Steve and Natasha are in the room where Fury’s dead body is laid out. Natasha has tears streaming down her face, which was a rare occurrence for her. Steve looked grief-stricken as well though he didn’t shed any tears. Helen on the other hand felt completely numb. She couldn’t believe that Zorro had just murdered Fury. Was this what he did when he was out on missions? Had she fallen in love with an assassin?

Hill walked into the room, interrupting Helen’s morose thoughts.

‘I need to take him.’ She said.

Steve walked over to Natasha, gently saying her name. She didn’t respond though. Instead she tenderly touched Fury’s head and walked out of the room.

Steve and Helen followed her.

‘Natasha!’ The blond called out.

‘Why was Fury in your apartment?’ Natasha asked.

‘I don’t know.’

Natasha is about to reply when Rumlow came up to them.

‘Cap, Potter, they want you back at SHIELD.’ He said.

‘Yeah, give me a second.’

‘They want you now. Both of you.’

‘Okay.’

‘You’re a terrible liar.’ Natasha said before walking off.

‘STRIKE team, escort Captain Rogers and Agent Potter back to SHIELD immediately for questioning.’ Sitwell’s voice came over the comms.

‘I told them.’ Rumlow replied.

Steve put the flash drive in the vending machine before walking towards Rumlow, Helen following him.

‘Let’s go.’

‘Yeah. STRIKE, move it out.’

  
‘For whatever it’s worth, you did your best.’ Pierce said to Agent 13 as Helen and Steve were escorted into his office.

‘Thank you, sir.’

Agent 13 spotted them as she left. ‘Captain Rogers. Agent Potter.’

‘Neighbour.’ Steve said coldly.

‘Ah, Captain. Agent Potter. I’m Alexander Pierce.’

‘Sir, it’s an honour.’ Steve said, shaking Pierce’s hand.

Helen didn’t feel the same way. Something about Pierce seemed off to her but she stayed silent.

‘The honour is mine, Captain. My father served in the 101st. Come on in.’

Pierce showed them a picture of him and Fury. ‘That photo was taken five years after Nick and I met. When I was at State Department in Bogota. ELN rebels took the embassy, and security got me out, but the rebels took hostages. Nick was deputy chief for the SHIELD station there. And he comes to me with a plan. He wants to storm the building through the sewers. I said, “No, we’ll negotiate.” Turned out the ELN didn’t negotiate, so they put out a kill order. They stormed the basement, and what did they find? They find it empty. Nick had ignored my direct order and carried out an unauthorised military operation on foreign soil. He saved the lives of a dozen political officers, including my daughter.’

‘So you gave him a promotion.’

‘I’ve never had any cause to regret it. Captain, why was Nick in your apartment last night?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘You know it was bugged?’

‘I did, because Nick told us.’

‘Did he tell you he was the one who bugged it?’

Helen and Steve didn’t respond. They certainly didn’t know that.

‘I want you to see something.’

Pierce brought up footage of Batroc being interrogated.

‘Who hired you, Batroc?’ A SHIELD Agent questioned.

‘Is that live?’ Steve asked.

‘Yeah, they picked him up last night in a not-so-safe house in Algiers.’

‘Are you saying he’s a suspect? Assassination isn’t Batroc’s line.’

‘No, it’s more complicated than that. Batroc was hired anonymously to attack the Lemurian Star and he was contacted by email and paid by wire transfer. And then the money was run through seventeen fictitious accounts, the last one going to a holding company that was registered to a Jacob Veech.’

‘Am I supposed to know who that is?’

‘Not likely. Veech died six years ago. His last address was 14-35 Elmhurst Drive. When I first met Nick his mother lived at 14-37.’

‘Are you saying Fury hired the pirates? Why?’

‘The prevailing theory was that the hijacking was a cover for the acquisition and sale of classified intelligence. The sale went sour and that led to Nick’s death.’

‘If you really knew Nick Fury you’d know that’s not true.’

‘Why do you think we’re talking? See, I took a seat on the Council not because I wanted to but because Nick asked me to, because we were both realists. We knew that despite all the diplomacy and the handshaking and the rhetoric, that to build a really better world sometimes means having to tear the old one down. And that makes enemies. Those people that call you dirty because you got the guts to stick your hands in the mud and try to build something better. And the idea that those people could be happy today, makes me really, really angry. Captain, you were the last one to see Nick alive. I don’t think that’s an accident, and I don’t think you do either. So I’m gonna ask again, why was he there?’

‘He told us not to trust anyone.’

‘I wonder if that included him.’

‘I’m sorry. Those were his last words. Excuse me.’

Steve picked up his shield, put it on his back and walked out the room, Helen at his side.

‘Captain.’

Steve and Helen both stopped and looked at Pierce.

‘Somebody murdered my friend and I’m gonna find out why. Anyone gets in my way, they’re gonna regret it. Anyone.’

‘Understood.’

Steve turned back around and walked out of the office, Helen following him a few seconds later.

‘I don’t trust him.’ Helen said after they were far away from the office.

‘Pierce?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Why not?’

‘He gave off the wrong vibes.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means he’s suspicious, Steve, and I don’t think he’s on our side.’

‘How could he not be on our side? He’s a friend of Fury and works for the World Security Council.’

‘Lesson number one, Steve. Just because someone is a friend doesn’t mean they’re on your side. Pierce could have betrayed Fury.’

‘He has a lot of respect for Fury. I don’t think he’d do anything to put his life in jeopardy.’

‘Sometimes respect and friendship mean nothing.’

‘Who betrayed you?’

‘I wasn’t betrayed. My parents were though.’

‘By who?’

Helen sighed sadly. ‘One of their best friends. The betrayal led to their murders.’

‘It doesn’t mean that Pierce has betrayed anyone.’

‘When I met my parents’ betrayer I got the same vibe off of him that I got from Pierce. If he hasn’t betrayed Fury then he’s betrayed someone.’

‘But he’s a politician.’

‘Lesson number two: Never trust a politician.’

‘If we can’t trust Pierce then who can we trust?’

‘Nick said to not trust anyone. I think he meant Pierce when he said that.’

‘How?’

‘If Fury felt that he could trust Pierce then he would have told us to go straight to him for help.’ Helen pointed out.

‘You’re right. But what else can we do?’

‘Find out what’s on the flash drive.’

‘How? Maybe Fury was the only one who knew what was on it.’

‘Maybe Natasha knows and if she doesn’t then she’ll be able to find out for us. First we need to get it though.’

‘Let’s go then.’

Helen and Steve got into the elevator.

‘Operations control.’

‘Confirmed.’

Just before the elevator doors could close Rumlow and two STRIKE agents stepped in.

‘Keep all STRIKE personnel on site.’ Rumlow said.

‘Understood.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Forensics.’

‘Confirmed.’

‘Cap. Potter.’

‘Rumlow.’

‘Evidence Response found some fibres on the roof they want us to see. You want me to get the tac-team ready?’

‘No, let’s wait and see what it is first.’

‘Right.’

Steve and Helen notice one of the agents touching his weapon suspiciously and share a concerned look.

‘What’s the status so far?’

‘Administrations level.’

‘Confirmed.’

‘Excuse me.’

‘I’m sorry about what happened with Fury. Messed up, what happened to him.’ Rumlow said to them.

‘Thank you.’

Helen felt something was off and glanced at all the agents in the elevator with them. One of them is sweating, which was rather suspicious. She looked to Steve and saw that he was just as suspicious as she was.

The elevator opened and more agents entered, which concerned Helen.

‘Records.’

‘Confirmed.’

As the elevators close Helen and Steve glance at each other as they realise that they’re being surrounded by agents.

‘Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?’ Steve asked.

There was a moment’s pause before one of the agents suddenly turns and gives Steve a shock with an electric shock. He does the same to Helen and the pain of it causes her to collapse to the ground. Steve manages to knock all of the agents out before they could handcuff them both. Which just left Rumlow in the elevator with them.

‘Whoa, big guy. I just want you to know, Cap, this ain’t personal.’

Rumlow went to shock Steve with his electric rod but the blond managed to dodge the attack and soon knocked Rumlow out.

‘It kind of feels personal.’

‘You okay?’ Steve asked as he helped her up.

‘Yeah. You?’

‘I’m fine.’

Steve then picked up his shield and opened the elevator doors. Unfortunately they were faced with a team of STRIKE agents pointing their weapons at them.

‘Drop the shield! Put your hands in the air!’

Steve used his shield to break the elevator wires which sends it plummeting down.

‘Give it up, Rogers! Get that door open! You have nowhere to go!’

Steve smashed the elevator glass with his shield and they plummet down to the ground floor. They ran out of the elevator and headed for the garage. They quickly got onto Steve’s motorbike and drove off.

A Quinjet halted their escape.

‘Stand down, Captain Rogers. Stand down.’ The pilot yelled.

The Quinjet’s machine gun lowered and pointed at them.

‘Repeat, stand down.’

But Steve refused to do so and continued to drive them away. The gun began to fire at them but Steve threw his shield at its propellers, which jammed them. He jumps onto the jet and destroys it further before jumping back off it and escaping with Helen.

Steve drives them to the hospital and they return to the vending machine where Steve had hidden the flash drive. When they find that it’s not there Steve panics and pushes Natasha into a room in anger when he sees her standing behind them. Helen follows with a sigh.

‘Where is it?’ Steve asked angrily.

‘Safe.’

‘Do better!’

‘Where did you get it?’ Natasha asked.

‘Why would I tell you?’ Steve countered.

‘Fury gave it to you. Why?’

‘What’s on it?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Stop lying!’

‘Steve, this isn’t helping.’

‘I only act like I know everything, Rogers.’

‘I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn’t you?’

‘Well, it makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in, so do you.’

‘I’m not gonna ask you again.’ Steve growled.

Natasha sighed. ‘I know who killed Fury. Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He’s credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years.’

Helen’s heart sank. So it was true. Zorro was an assassin. She felt so betrayed. How could her sweet and loving Zorro be a cold blooded assassin? It just didn’t make any sense.

‘So he’s a ghost story.’

‘Five years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran, somebody shot out my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer, so he shot him straight through me.’

Natasha lifted up her shirt to show them the scar on the side of her stomach and Helen winced. She couldn’t believe that Zorro had hurt her best friend like that. How could he do something so cruel?

‘Soviet slug, no rifling. Bye-bye bikinis.’

‘Yeah, I bet you look terrible in them now.’

‘Going after him is a dead end. I know, I’ve tried.’ Natasha said, holding up the flash drive. ‘Like you said, he’s a ghost story.’

Steve took the flash drive from her.

‘Well, let’s find out what the ghost wants.’ He said.

Helen knew what Zorro wanted. But what the Winter Soldier wanted, she had no clue and she didn’t want to find out.


	25. Return To Camp Lehigh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen, Steve and Natasha visit Camp Lehigh where they learn some disturbing truths.

* * *

Helen, Steve and Natasha arrived at the mall where they were disguised as a civilian couple with Helen being the friend who was acting as the third wheel.

‘First rule of going on the run is, don’t run, walk.’ Natasha told them.

‘If I run in these shoes, they’re gonna fall off.’ Steve said as they entered a Mac store so they could use one of the computers there.

‘The drive has a Level Six homing program, so as soon as we boot up SHIELD will know exactly where we are.’

‘How much time do we have?’ Steve asked.

‘Uh...about nine minutes from...’

Natasha paused and put the flash drive into a MacBook Pro.

‘Now. Fury was right about that ship, somebody’s trying to hide something. This drive is protected by some sort of AI, it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands.’

‘Can you override it?

‘The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly. I’m gonna try running a tracer. This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, so if we can’t read the file, maybe we can find out where it came from.’

‘Can I help you guys with anything?’ An employee asked.

‘Oh, no. My fiancé and my friend were just helping me with some honeymoon destinations.’

‘Right! We’re getting married.’

‘Congratulations. Where do you guys thinking about going?’

Steve glanced at the monitor before replying. ‘New Jersey.’

‘Oh. I have the exact same glasses.’

‘Wow, you two are practically twins.’

‘Yeah, I wish. Specimen. Uh...if you guys need anything, I’m Aaron.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You said nine minutes, come on.’ Steve said after the guy had left.

‘Shh, relax. Got it.’

Helen and Steve looked at the monitor and saw that the signal was combing from Wheaton, New Jersey. They shared a look before turning back to Natasha.

‘You know it?’

‘I used to. Let’s go.’ Steve said, pulling out the flash drive from the computer.

The three of them then walked out of the store.

‘Standard tac-team. Two behind, to across, two coming straight at us. If they make us, I’ll engage, you hit the south escalator to the metro.’

‘Shut up and put your arm around me, laugh at something I said.’ Natasha said to Steve as the agents came closer.

‘What?’

‘Do it!’

Steve does so as Helen hides behind the blond’s giant bulk. The agents look around the Mac store and fail to find them.

The three of them got on an escalator and headed down. Unfortunately Natasha spotted Rumlow coming up on the escalator next to them.

Thinking fast Helen ducks down as Natasha turns to Steve.

‘Kiss me.’

‘What?’ Steve said confused.

‘Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.’

‘Yes, they do.’

Natasha sighed and quickly pulled Steve’s head down to kiss him. It made Rumlow look away as he passed them on the escalator, letting them escape for now.

‘You still uncomfortable?’

‘It’s not exactly the word I would use.’

‘It doesn’t count as cheating, Steve.’

‘I know. I just don’t like kissing my friends.’

‘You really are as honourable as they say in the history books.’

‘Not that honourable.’

Leaving the mall Steve hijacked a car and started driving them to New Jersey.

‘Where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?’ Nat asked.

‘Nazi Germany.’

‘Mm.’

‘And we’re borrowing. Take your feet off the dash.’

‘Fine.’ Natasha said as she took her feet off the dashboard.

‘Alright, I have a question for you, oh, which you do not have to answer. I feel like if you don’t answer it though, you’re kind of answering it, you know?’

‘What?’

‘Was that your first kiss with a woman since 1945?’

Steve chuckled. ‘That bad, huh?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘Well, it kind of sounds like that’s what you’re saying.’

‘No, I didn’t and I’m sure Tony has no complaints. I just wondered how much practice you’ve had with women.’

‘You don’t need practice.’

‘Everybody needs practice. You never know when something like this will come up again. You have to make it look realistic.’

‘You surprised me. I didn’t have any time to get into it.’

‘Whatever you say, Rogers.’

‘Hey, I can totally fake kiss someone.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘You are aware that you’re a terrible liar, right?’

‘I know but I don’t have to talk to be a good kisser.’

‘That’s true.’

‘Leave him alone, Nat. Not everyone is an expert spy like you.’

‘That is also true.’

‘How did you get so good at kissing anyway? I thought you didn’t date.’

‘I said I don’t date, Rogers. I didn’t say that I didn’t have one night stands.’

‘Huh. Okay then.’

‘I can totally learn how to fake kiss well.’

‘Let it go, Steve.’

‘But I can though.’

‘Don’t worry, Rogers. We all believe that Captain America is a good kisser.’

‘You better.’

‘Are you really okay with living a life where you have to lie all the time?’

‘The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.’

‘That’s a tough way to live.’

‘It’s a good way not to die, though.’

‘You know, it’s kind of hard to trust someone when you don’t know who that someone really is.’

‘Yeah. Who do you want me to be?’

‘How about a friend?’

Natasha laughed softly. ‘Well, there’s a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers. And for the record, we’re already friends.’

Some time later they arrived at the abandoned Camp Lehigh and Helen felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her as she remembered the time she spent here.

‘This is it.’ Steve said.

Natasha nodded. ‘The file came from these coordinates.’

‘So did I.’ Steve said as they walked around the base. ‘This camp is where I was trained.’

‘Changed much?’

‘A little.’ Steve said, smiling wistfully.

‘This is a dead end. Zero heat signature, zero waves, not even radio. Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off.’

Steve spotted a building ahead of them and stopped in his tracks.

‘What is it?’

‘Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards of the barracks. This building is in the wrong place.’ Steve said as they walked over to the building.

Steve opened the lock with his shield and they entered the building. They see that it’s an old SHIELD office when they turn on the lights.

‘This is SHIELD.’

‘Maybe where it started.’

They walked into another room and Helen glanced at the framed photos of Peggy, Howard and Phillips that lined the wall.

‘There’s Stark’s father.’ Natasha said.

‘Howard.’

‘Who’s the girl?’

Steve doesn’t reply and walks over to a bookshelf.

‘If you’re already working in a secret office...’

He pushed the bookshelf and it slides away to reveal an elevator.

‘Why do you need to hide the elevator?’

The three of them enter the elevator and it takes them to a room filled with old looking computers.

‘This can’t be the data-point, this technology is ancient.’ Natasha said.

But then she spotted as small flash drive port and and placed the flash drive into it. It activated the ancient computer in the middle of the room.

‘Initiate system?’ It asked.

Natasha typed something into the computer. ‘Y-E-S, spells yes.’

She turns to Steve. ‘“Shall we play a game?” It’s from a movie that...’

‘Yeah, I saw it.’

Suddenly the computer started speaking.

‘Rogers, Steven. Born, 1918. Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna. Born, 1984. Potter, Helen. Born 1990.’

Helen notices a camera moving above them as it analysed them.

‘It’s some kind of a recording.’ Natasha said.

‘I am not a recording, Fräulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am.’

‘Do you know this thing?’ Natasha asked Steve.

‘Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He’s been dead for years.’

‘First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain.’

Helen felt anger surge through her veins. Bucky had given his life to make sure that they captured this guy and here he was somewhat alive and well, while Bucky was decidedly not. It just wasn’t fair.

‘How did you get here?’ Steve asked.

‘Invited.’

‘It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value.’ Natasha explained.

‘They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own.’

‘HYDRA died with the Red Skull.’

‘Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.’

‘Prove it.’ Steve spat.

‘Accessing archive.’

Old footage of Schmidt came up on the screen.

‘HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realise, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, SHIELD was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed.’

‘That’s impossible. SHIELD would have stopped you.’

‘Accidents will happen.’

Zola brought up footage of HYDRA killing Tony’s parents and making it look like a car crash and Fury’s recent death.

‘HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA’s new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero sum.’

Angrily Steve smashed the computer screen with his shield.

‘As I was saying...’

‘What’s on this drive?’ Steve demanded.

‘Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm.’

‘What kind of algorithm? What does it do?’

‘The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it.’

The doors started to close and Steve threw his shield at them to try and stop them from doing so. Unfortunately he was too late. They were trapped in the room with no way out.

Natasha looked at her phone. ‘Steve, Helen, we got a bogey. Short range ballistic. 30 seconds tops.’

‘Who fired it?’

‘SHIELD.’

Zola spoke up again. ‘I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it’s better this way. We’re both of us...out of time.’

Steve noticed a small opening in the ground and he threw the metal door aside. Just as the place explodes he grabs both Helen and Natasha and throws them into the hole, protecting them with his shield. He gets them out of the rubble and they escape the base before the STRIKE agents could catch them.


	26. On The Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen, Steve and Natasha hide out with Sam Wilson who agrees to help them.

* * *

Leaving the base Helen, Steve and Natasha got into the car they came there in and drove off as fast as they could. Once they were far enough away from the camp, Steve pulled into a secluded area and stopped the car.

‘Where do we go from here?’ Steve asked.

‘To someone we can trust.’ Helen said.

‘Fury told us not to trust anyone.’

‘He meant not to trust anyone who has any connection to SHIELD. We know someone who doesn’t.’

‘Who?’

‘Sam Wilson.’

‘The guy who you met while out on a run?’ Natasha asked.

‘Precisely the one.’

‘Are you sure that we can trust him?’ Natasha questioned.

‘Absolutely.’

‘Why can’t we just go to Tony?’

‘Because they’ll be searching every place we’ve been known to go. The Tower will likely be the first place considering how much time we’ve spent there. But we’ve never been to Sam’s place so they won’t know to look there.’

‘But we don’t know where he lives.’

‘Leave that to the master spy.’ Natasha said with a smirk.

‘Can you get us his address just from your phone?’ Steve asked.

‘What do you take me for, Rogers? I’m no amateur. I can get his address no problem.’

‘How long will it take?’

‘Not that long.’

‘Hurry up before they find us.’

‘Relax, Cap. I got this.’

‘I sure hope so.’

‘Are you going to tell Tony about his parents?’ Helen asked Steve while Natasha was busy on her phone.

‘When I have the time, yeah.’

‘You realise that it was likely the Winter Soldier who did this, right?’

‘I don’t think it could be anybody but him. He seems to be the guy HYDRA uses to eliminate their enemies.’

Helen sighed. ‘Poor Tony. I know how it feels to know that your parents were murdered. It’s honestly like suffocating, like your whole world is about to end.’

‘I wish I didn’t have to tell him. He’s going to be so crushed.’ Steve said sadly.

‘I know but you have to. Keeping it a secret isn’t going to do either of you any good. The truth always comes out, one way or another.’

‘I know. I just don’t want to hurt him.’

‘You’re not hurting him, Steve. HYDRA is the one that’s going to hurt him because they’re the ones who did this. It’s not your fault, Steve.’

‘I wish I could have stopped it.’

‘There was no way you could have.’ Helen assured.

‘I know. I just hate that I wasn’t there.’

‘There was nothing you could have done.’

‘Seems like that’s happening to me a lot lately.’

‘Don’t lose hope, Steve. You stopped HYDRA once before. You can do it again.’

‘I hope so.’

‘I know you can do it.’

‘Aha!’ Natasha exclaimed.

‘What is it?’

‘I found his address.’

‘What is it?’

‘Here.’ She said, handing Steve the phone.

Steve read the address and handed it back to her.

‘Alright, everyone. Let’s go.’

‘Lead the way, Captain.’

Some time later they arrived at Sam’s door and Steve knocked. It took a few seconds for Sam to answer and he seemed surprised to see them.

‘Hey, man.’ Sam eventually greeted.

‘I’m sorry about this. We need a place to lay low.’ Steve said.

‘Everyone we know is trying to kill us.’ Natasha added.

Sam paused for a moment before answering. ‘Not everyone.’

Sam opened the door wider to let them in and the three of them entered the apartment gratefully.

‘Stay as long as you need. You’re more than welcome here.’

‘Thanks, Sam. We really owe you one.’

‘What more could I do for friends?’

Later on when the three of them were getting cleaned up Helen noticed that Natasha was looking rather sad so she nudged Steve and gestured to Natasha.

‘You okay?’ Steve asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘What’s going on?’

‘When I first joined SHIELD, I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but...I guess I can’t tell the difference anymore.’

‘There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business.’

Natasha gave him a faint smile. ‘I owe you.’

‘It’s okay.’

‘If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?’

‘I would now. And I’m always honest.’

‘Well, you seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out they died for nothing.’

‘Well, I guess I just like to know who I’m fighting.’

Sam popped his head into the room.

‘I made breakfast. If you guys...eat that sort of thing.’ He said to them.

After breakfast the four of them talked about the recent events.

‘So, the question is: who in SHIELD could launch a domestic missile strike?’ Natasha said.

‘Pierce.’

‘Who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world.’

‘But he’s not working alone, Zola’s algorithm was on the Lemurian Star.’

‘So was Jasper Sitwell.’

‘So, the real question is: how do the three most wanted people in Washington kidnap a SHIELD officer in broad daylight?’

‘The answer is: you don’t.’ Sam said, dropping a file in front of Steve.

‘What’s this?’

‘Call it a resume.’

Natasha picked up a picture of Sam with his para-rescue team.

‘Is this Bakhmala? The Khalid Khandil mission, that was you.’

Sam gave a little nod.

‘You didn’t say he was a para-rescue.’ Natasha said to Steve.

‘Impressed?’ Helen asked with a smirk.

Natasha didn’t reply but Helen saw that Sam was now looking hopeful.

‘Is this Riley?’ Steve asked, pointing to one of the pictures.

‘Yeah.’

‘I heard they couldn’t bring in the choppers because of the RPGs. What did you use, a stealth chute?’

‘No. These.’ Sam said, handing Steve another file.

‘I thought you said you were a pilot.’

‘I never said pilot.’

‘I can’t ask you to do this, Sam. You got out for a good reason.’

‘Dude, Captain America needs my help. There’s no better reason to get back in.’

‘Where can we get our hands on one of these things?’

‘The last one is at Fort Meade, behind three guarded gates and a twelve-inch steel wall.’

‘Shouldn’t be a problem.’

While Steve and Sam were out retrieving the Falcon wings, Helen and Natasha stayed behind. There was no point in all of them going out at once especially when they were technically fugitives.

‘What’s wrong?’ Natasha asked Helen when they were sitting on the couch watching TV.

‘Nothing’s wrong.’

‘I’m one of your best friends, Helen. I know when you’re lying.’

‘I’m just sad, that’s all.’

‘Why?’

‘Someone I knew, or I thought I knew, disappointed me.’

‘Does this have anything to do with the Winter Soldier?’

‘How did you...?’

‘Steve told me that you met a man in a mask and your reaction when I told you and Steve about the Winter Soldier made me think that you knew him. It wasn’t all that hard to piece together after that.’

‘I thought he was a good person.’

‘Maybe he is.’

‘He’s an assassin, Natasha. You can’t get much worse than that.’

‘I used to be an assassin. Do you think I’m a bad person?’

‘No, of course not. You saw what you were doing was wrong and you got out. He hasn’t done that despite promising me many times that he would.’

‘HYDRA isn’t an easy organisation to leave.’

‘With his skills I don’t think he’d have a problem escaping.’

‘Maybe.’

‘I don’t know what to do.’ Helen said dejectedly.

‘You love him, don’t you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Does he love you?’

‘He says he does.’

‘You don’t believe him?’

‘I don’t know what to believe anymore.’

‘What will you do if he comes back for you?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I think you should let him explain. The answer might surprise you.’

‘And if it doesn’t?’

‘You leave him behind.’

‘I don’t know if someone like him is easy to lose.’

‘Maybe not.’

‘I really thought that he was a good person. Steve tried to warn me that he wasn’t but I wouldn’t listen.’

‘Maybe you’re right.’

‘It’s more likely that I’m wrong.’

‘You don’t know that.’

‘No, I don’t. But I’m not sure I want to find out.’

‘It’ll be okay.’

‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course you can.’

‘What does zhizn moya mean?’

‘My life. It’s usually a term of endearment, used for your significant other.’

‘Oh.’

‘Why?’

‘That’s what he used to call me.’

‘It sounds like he really loves you then.’ Natasha said with a smile.

‘Maybe.’

‘Did he call you anything else?’

‘He gave me a lot of pet names in Russian. I never knew what they meant.’

‘Tell me and I’ll translate them for you.’

‘Okay. He was fond of calling me kiska or zaika all the time.’

‘Well, kiska means kitten and zaika means bunny.’

‘That’s actually really adorable.’

‘It is, isn’t it?’

‘He would also call me solnyshko or lyubov.’

‘Solnyshko means sunshine and lyubov means love.’

‘Wow.’

‘Anything else?’

‘Yeah. Um, Lyubimaya. Dorogaya. Krasotka. Malishka, krasivaya, lisichka. Pchelka. Milaya. Zvezda moya. Koroleva, svet moyey zhizni, dorogusha, moya luna i zvedzy, zolotse.’

‘Wow. Okay. He was very fond of using pet names for you.’

‘Yeah. He was.’

‘Okay. Lyubimaya means beloved.’

‘That’s so sweet.’

‘It is.’

‘Next one.’

‘Dorogaya means darling.’

‘Oh.’

‘Krasotka means gorgeous and krasivaya means beautiful.’

‘Not surprising. He did always say how beautiful he thought I was.’

‘Still believe that he doesn’t love you?’

‘I don’t know. Carry on.’

‘Alright. Malishka means baby girl.’

Helen frowned. ‘I kind of resent that one, actually.’

‘Yeah, I’m not too fond of it either.’

‘Continue.’

‘Lisichka means little fox.’

‘Now, that one I like.’

‘I thought you would. You may not like what pchelka means though.’

‘Why? What does it mean?’

‘Little bee.’

‘You’re right. I don’t really like that one.’

‘Told you.’

‘Tell me the next one.’

‘Milaya means honey and koroleva means queen.’

‘He really is so sweet. I can’t believe he’s actually an assassin.’

‘Maybe he’s not an assassin by choice.’

‘Maybe.’

‘You want to know the last few?’

‘Of course.’

‘Zvezda moya means my star.’

‘Oh. I love that one.’

‘It is pretty nice. Svet moyey zhizni means light of my life.’

‘Wow. He really does love me.’

‘Told you.’

‘Tell me what the last three mean.’

‘Moya luna i zvezdy means my moon and stars, dorogusha means sweetheart and zolotse means treasure.’

‘I can’t believe he calls me all those things.’

‘It’s because he loves you.’

‘Yeah. I believe he does now.’

‘But whether he loves you or not, the guy is still a dangerous assassin.’

‘I know. That’s what I’m afraid of.’

‘I’m sure he wouldn’t hurt you.’

‘Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me but he’d hurt literally everyone else.’

‘Then we’ve got to be careful.’

‘Yeah. God, I can’t believe I’m in love with the Winter Soldier.’

‘Stranger things have happened.’

‘That is true.’

‘Are you going to be okay?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay then.’

‘Why won’t you give Sam a chance?’

‘Because he hasn’t asked me out yet.’

‘So if he asked you out, you’d say yes?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Why not?’

‘I don’t really do relationships.’

‘I know.’

‘You think I should give him a chance?’

‘I do. I think Sam might be the one to change your whole attitude on dating.’

‘Like Bucky did for you.’

‘Yeah.’

‘You still love him, don’t you?’

‘More than anything.’

‘You must be very confused then.’

‘I don’t think I’ve been this confused in my life.’

‘You’ll figure it out.’

‘Thanks, Nat. But seriously, give Sam a chance.’

’I don’t know if I can.’

’Why not?’

’He’s an idiot. He’ll probably ask me out in the most idiotic way and I can’t stomach that.’

Helen snorted. ‘Well, however he asks you out it can be worse than the time Ron tried to ask Hermione to the Yule Ball.’

’Why? What did he say that was so bad?’

’We were in the Great Hall studying and Ron is complaining the whole time about how he doesn’t have a date to the ball yet. Suddenly he turns to Hermione and says “Oi, Hermione. You're a girl.” Of course Hermione doesn’t react very well to this.’

’I can imagine. What did she say?’

’She hissed out “Very well spotted.” She was very angry.’

’Yeah, I would be too if I was her.’

’Unfortunately Ron didn’t seem to get that she was angry and continued to blabber on.’

’Oh god, what did he say?’

’He said, “Come on. lt's one thing for a bloke to show up alone. For a girl, it's just sad.”. Of course Hermione already had a date and yelled out that she wouldn’t be going alone and stormed off.’

’Ouch.’

’Yeah, ouch.’

’Well, if she agreed to go out with him after that then he must have done something pretty big to win her over.’

’He did. It was very sweet. Though it was three years after the incident that they started going out.’

’I thought you said you were all seventeen when they started dating.’

’We were.’

’So you were all fourteen when that happened?’

’Yeah, although his young age is really no excuse. Ron grew up with a sister and hung out with two girls for four years. There was no reason for him to act that way.’

’Men never learn.’

’Maybe but my point is, no matter how idiotically they ask you out it doesn’t matter. As long as you want to go out with them then how they ask doesn’t matter.’

’I guess you’re right.’

’So, do you want to go out with Sam?’

’I don’t know.’

Just then Steve and Sam entered the apartment.

‘We’ve got them. You two ready?’

‘We were born ready.’

‘Let’s go then.’

‘Aye, aye, Captain.’

‘I hate all of you.’

‘No, you don’t.’

‘Let’s just move out.’

‘Yeah. Let’s kick HYDRA’s ass.’


	27. The Man Unmasked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen, Steve, Sam and Natasha face off against the Winter Soldier whose true identity shocks everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you’ve all been waiting for ;)

* * *

  
Leaving the apartment they got into Sam’s car and he drove them to the building that Jasper Sitwell was currently in.   
  


  
‘Right. Let’s go over the plan one more time.’ Steve said.

‘Steve, we’ve been over it three times.’ Helen complained.

‘You can never be too thorough.’

‘Fine. But this is the last time.’

‘Okay. Sam, what’s your role in the plan?’

‘I’ll call Sitwell and distract him. And if he refuses I’ll catch him with my wings if we need to throw him off the roof.’

‘Brilliant. Nat?’

‘Helen and I are your back ups and if he refuses to give the information I’ll kick him off the roof.’

‘Great. Let’s roll.’

‘Just stay calm, Steve. He’s no use to us if you beat him unconscious.’

‘What do you take me for? A barbarian?’

‘A super soldier with a temper.’

‘Alright. I see your point.’

‘Okay. Is everyone ready?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay. This is the building that Sitwell had his meeting in. Let’s go.’

Five minutes later all four of them were in place and all they had to do was wait for Sitwell to come out. A couple of minutes later Sitwell emerged from the building, which was Sam’s signal to make the call.

‘Agent Sitwell, how was lunch? I hear the crab cakes here are delicious.’

‘Who is this?’

‘The good looking guy in the sunglasses, your ten o clock.’

Sitwell looked around but was unable to spot Sam.

‘Your other ten o clock.... There you go.’

‘What do you want?’

‘You’re gonna go around the corner, to your right. There’s a grey car, two spaces down. You and I are gonna take a ride.’

‘Okay. Get ready you two.’ Steve said from their hiding place.

‘Roger that, Rogers.’

‘Now is not the time for jokes.’

‘Sorry.’

‘And why would I do that?’ Sitwell asked.

‘Because that tie looks really expensive, and I’d hate to mess it up.’

‘Okay. Aim the gun, Nat.’

‘Done.’

‘He’s distracted. Let’s move.’

A few minutes later Steve was throwing Sitwell across the rooftop of the building, Helen and Natasha following behind him.

‘Tell me about Zola’s algorithm.’ Steve demanded.

‘Never heard of it.’

‘What were you doing on the Lemurian Star?’

‘I was throwing up, I get seasick.’

Steve growled and grabbed Sitwell, holding him over the edge of the roof.

‘Is this little display meant to insinuate that you’re gonna throw me off the roof? Because it’s really not your style, Rogers.’

Steve let go of Sitwell. ‘You’re right. It’s not.’

Sitwell relaxed but then Steve stepped aside. ‘It’s hers.’

Sitwell screamed as Natasha kicked him off the roof, sending him plummeting down.

‘That felt good.’ Natasha said.

‘It looked like it did.’

‘You should try it, Helen.’

‘Maybe I will.’

‘Please only kick enemies off the roof.’

‘Shut up, Steve. You’re ruining all the fun.’

‘I wouldn’t exactly call this fun.’

‘So you didn’t feel any joy in watching Sitwell fall off the roof?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

Suddenly Sam flew up in his Falcon jet pack suit and dropped Sitwell back on the roof. Steve, Helen and Natasha walked over to him and he immediately held his hands up in fear.

‘Zola’s algorithm is a program...for choosing Insight’s targets!’

‘What targets?’ Steve asked.

‘You! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of Defence, a high school valedictorian in Iowa city. Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, anyone who’s a threat to HYDRA! Now, or in the future.’

‘The Future? How could it know?’

Sitwell laughed. ‘How could it not? The 21st century is a digital book. Zola taught HYDRA how to read it.’

‘Read what?’ Helen asked.

‘Your bank records, medical histories, voting patterns, emails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores. Zola’s algorithm evaluates people’s past to predict their future.’

‘And what then?’ Steve demanded.

‘Oh, my God. Pierce is gonna kill me.’ Sitwell panicked.

‘What then?!’ Steve yelled angrily.

‘Then the Insight Helicarriers scratch people off the list. A few million at a time.’

Some time later they were driving to the Triskelion, with Sitwell in the back seat.

‘HYDRA doesn’t like leaks.’ Sitwell told them.

‘So why don’t you try sticking a cork in it.’ Sam retorted.

This shut the man up and they resumed their conversation.

‘Insight’s launching in sixteen hours, we’re cutting it a little bit close here.’ Nat pointed out.

‘I know. We’ll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the Helicarriers directly.’ Steve said.

‘What?! Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea.’

Helen rolled her eyes. ‘Maybe we should actually stick a cork in him.’

Sam snorted. ‘Yeah. Maybe then he’ll finally shut the hell up.’

‘I’m telling you. This is a terrible idea. You’re all crazy.’

Suddenly the Winter Soldier jumped onto the roof on the car and pulled Sitwell out and threw him onto the road. He then started shooting at them and Helen had never been more terrified. Did Zorro know that she was in the car and if he did then did he not care? Was his love all a front so she would trust him so it would be easier to kill her? She didn’t know anything anymore. All she knew was that the man she loved was trying to kill her and her friends. Bucky would never do this. She should have just remain loyal to him. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so much that her lover was about to become her murderer.

Steve pulled the break handle which threw the Winter Soldier, she would never call him Zorro after this, off the car and onto the street. To their surprise and horror he landed safely on his feet. It sickened Helen to see that the metal fingers that had held her so gently before had made literal scratch marks into the concrete, very deep scratch marks. He really was dangerous and she didn’t know how she didn’t realise that before. But at least they were safe from him for now.

Or so she thought. The car behind them suddenly crashed into them, pushing them along the road and closer to the Winter Soldier. Seizing the opportunity the Winter Soldier jumps back onto the car, smashes the windscreen and pulls out the steering wheel.

‘Shit!’ Sam yelled in shock.

Steve grabbed onto the car door and held onto Helen, Natasha and Sam.

‘Hang on!’ He shouted.

He broke the door and they slide onto the road while sitting on top of it. They came at a stop at the end of the street and they cursed when they saw that the Winter Soldier had been joined by several HYDRA agents.

Suddenly the Winter Soldier fired at Steve and he blocked the blast with his shield. Unfortunately the impact of the blast sent him flying backwards and hurtled him off the bridge.

Helen screamed and rushed to the edge of the bridge to look for him.

‘Steve! STEVE!’

‘Helen! Be careful!’ Natasha called out.

‘STEVE!’

‘Helen, he’ll be fine.’ Sam said.

‘I have to help him.’

Sam grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the edge.

‘He’ll be fine. Steve can handle himself.’

‘I know. I’m just worried about him.’

‘Don’t worry about Steve. Worry about yourself. We’re outnumbered here.’

‘Relax, Sam. I’ve got a plan.’

‘Whatever it is, do it now!’

‘It’s going to be fine, Sam.’

‘Tell me that when we’re not up against the Winter Soldier.’

‘I can handle him just fine.’

‘He’s dangerous. He could kill you.’

‘He won’t.’ Helen said before running off.

‘Don’t do anything stupid!’ Sam called.

‘I won’t. I’m not Steve.’ She yelled over her shoulder.

‘That doesn’t fill me with confidence!’

‘Don’t be a worry wart, Wilson!’

Helen didn’t stick around long enough to hear Sam’s reply and continued to fire her gun at the agents. She saw Natasha shooting at the Winter Soldier and swooped into help her. He wasn’t hurting any of her friends. She’d make damn sure of it.

‘Are you going to be okay with him here?’ Nat asked her quietly.

Helen glanced at the Winter Soldier before sighing. ‘Yes. No. I guess I have to be, don’t I?’

‘Try talking to him. Maybe you can get him to stand down.’

‘I don’t think I can. I’ve never seen him like this before.’

‘You’ve got to at least try. If you succeed then it’ll mean one less person shooting at us and if you don’t then at least you’ve distracted him for a bit.’

‘Let’s just hope he doesn’t shoot me the moment he sees me.’

‘I doubt he would. He loves you.’

‘Is love enough for him to defy HYDRA while they’re watching?’

‘We’ll soon see, won’t we?’

‘I guess we will.’ Helen said as she continued to shoot at the agents.

A blast went off causing Helen and Natasha to have to jump off the bridge to avoid it. Helen glanced around for Steve but couldn’t find him. Unfortunately the Winter Soldier saw that they had fled to the street at the bottom of the bridge and began shooting at them.

‘Get him down here. I’ll try and talk to him.’

‘Roger that.’

Natasha pulled out two hand guns and began shooting at the Winter Soldier. Helen hid behind the overturned bus and waited. He would come after them. She was sure of it. And when he did, she’d be ready for him. She had to try and bring him back. She couldn’t let HYDRA keep a hold of him like this. She would not let him be used as a weapon like this.

Helen watched with bated breath as Natasha shot him right in the goggles, causing him to have to duck down. When he came back up he had taken them off, letting her see his icy blue eyes. The eyes that she loved so much. They were no longer filled with love and gentleness but a lifeless coldness. The blank stare was killing her. She had never seen that look in his eyes before. It unnerved her.

The Winter Soldier turned to the agent next to him and said something that Helen couldn’t quite make out. He then jumped off the bridge onto a car and walked off it. As soon as he started walking along the road Helen jumped out from her hiding place.

‘Zorro!’

The Winter Soldier stopped walking and slowly turned around. When he spotted her his eyes seemed to light up a little.

‘Dorogaya moya, what are you doing here?’ He asked.

‘I’m here to stop you from hurting my friends.’

‘Your friends?’

‘Yes, my friends. The three people you keep shooting at.’

‘They’re your _friends_?’

‘Yes, they are and I’d appreciate it if you stopped trying to kill them.’

‘Zaika, they are the enemy. You can’t trust them.’

‘I trust them with my life.’

‘You can’t. They’ll hurt you or worse they’ll kill you.’

‘They’d never do that. They’re my friends.’

‘How can you know that?’

‘Because I do.’

‘Give me one good reason why you can trust them.’

‘Why do you think they’re bad?’

‘Answer the question, kiska.’

‘Why should I?’

‘I need to know that you’re safe.’

‘Don’t act as if you care about me.’ She spat.

‘Solnyshko, how can you say that? I love you more than anything. You are my entire world.’

‘Then why are you trying to kill my friends?’

‘Because I have to.’

‘No, you don’t! You have a choice in this!’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Yes, you do! Don’t listen to them! Everything they tell you is lies! It’s all lies! Don’t believe a word they say! They’re lying!’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because they’re evil! Who you’re working for is evil! They want to kill everyone that stands in their way! They’ll kill every innocent that doesn’t oblige to their ideology. Don’t let yourself be a part of that. You’re a good person, Zorro! Don’t let yourself be controlled by the likes of them!’

‘I have to do this. It’s my mission.’

‘You don’t have to do anything! You’re your own person. You’re not a machine to be used at someone’s disposal.’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘No, you’re not. You’re so much more than that.’

‘I’ll come for you after.’

‘Zorro, don’t! Please don’t go!’

‘I’ll always come back to you.’

‘Don’t do this. Don’t hurt my friends.’

‘They’re not your friends, zolotse.’

‘Zorro! Zorro! Wait!’

Helen cursed loudly under her breath as he stalked away in search of Natasha. She really hoped that Nat had a way of warding him off because she didn’t know if she’d get there in time to help her.

She ran as fast as she could after him. He was as quick paced as Steve was and Helen struggled to keep up with him. Seeing no other choice she pulled out her wand and gun at the same time and mentally prepared herself to attack the man she loved.

She glanced around for either Natasha or the Winter Soldier and sighed in relief when she saw Natasha hiding behind a car with a determined look on her face. She had a plan. The man she loved would not hurt her friend in this particular moment.

Helen hid behind a lamppost and watched as the Winter Soldier started to slow down. He stopped not too far from where Natasha was hiding and listened.

‘I make an LZ, twenty three hundred block of Virginia Avenue. Rendezvous two minutes. Taking fire above and below expressway. Civilians threatened. Repeat, civilians threatened.’

Helen startled a bit when she heard Nat’s voice echoing from somewhere. One glance at Nat soon cleared up the confusion. She wasn’t speaking at all. It must be a recording to fool the Winter Soldier.  
  


Sure enough the Winter Soldier was fooled. He pulled out a grenade from his belt and rolled it under the car that he thought Natasha was hiding behind.

‘I make an LZ, twenty three hundred block at Virginia Avenue. Rendezvous two minutes.’

Just then the bomb exploded and the Winter Soldier looked confused when he saw that Natasha was no where in sight. His eyes were firmly on the exploded car, likely looking for Nat. And so this gave her the perfect opportunity to come out of her hiding place and jumped onto the Winter Soldier.

She did her signature thigh locking manoeuvre and choked the Winter Soldier. Unfortunately he was able to throw her off and she landed harshly onto the ground. Seeing him aim her gun at Nat had Helen leaping into action.

‘Zorro, stop!’

He growled but didn’t cease his movements.

‘Soldier, stand down!’

This caused him to pause, allowing Nat to run away to safety.

‘Lyubov moya, stay out of this.’

‘No! I will NOT stay out of this! Not when you’re trying to hurt my friends!’

‘They. Are. Not. Your. Friends!!’

‘YES, THEY ARE!!’

‘Stay out of this, lyubimaya.’

‘No!’

The Winter Soldier growled loudly and stalked after Natasha. Helen swore loudly and ran after him. She couldn’t let him hurt Natasha. Not now, not ever. Natasha was one of her best friends. She wouldn’t let him hurt her. She couldn’t let him. She would do whatever it took to stop him, even if it meant hurting the man she loved. Because if he really loved her then he wouldn’t do this. And he was so she had no qualms in hurting him. He had already hurt her heart. She could break a few of his bones in return. It was better than he deserved.

Helen screamed in terror as one of his bullets hit Natasha in the shoulder. He had really done it. He had hurt one of her friends. She couldn’t believe this. How could he? He said he’d never hurt her.

Helen saw Natasha collapse against a car and she prayed that the Winter Soldier wouldn’t find her. Nat wouldn’t be able to defend herself if he did and he had thrown her gun away when she tried to stop him and there was too many civilians on the street for her to use her wand. There was no way she could help. All she could do was hope that Steve or Sam would step in and help.

‘Zorro, stop! You don’t want to do this!’

Her words fell on deaf ears though as he jumped onto the hood of a car and aimed his gun at Natasha. He was just about to fire it when Steve came running at him with his shield.

The Winter Soldier snarled at him and jumped off the car and started attacking Steve. Helen watched helplessly as the two of them fought. They were quite evenly matched so there was no telling who would win and Helen didn’t really want to find out who would. It was terrifying seeing two men that she cared about deeply viciously fighting each other.

Steve threw his shield at the Winter Soldier who caught it with ease and threw it back at him. Luckily Steve managed to avoid being hit and the shield ended up embedded in the door of a nearby van.

The two continued to fight and Helen winced when she saw the Winter Soldier pulled out a knife from his belt and aimed it at Steve. Fortunately the blond managed to dodge his attempts to stab him, though it was a close call each time.

Knowing she had to do something she leaped forward and grabbed the arm that was holding the knife and pulled it back.

‘Helen, what are you doing? Get out of here!’ Steve yelled.

‘No!’

‘Dorogaya, stop this.’

‘No! I won’t let you do this!’

‘You don’t have a choice!’

‘Yes, I do! And so do you!’

‘Don’t stand in my way, zaika.’

‘I won’t let you do this. I can’t let you do this.’

‘Let go of me, lyubimaya!’

‘No! I’m not letting go until you stop this!’

‘I can’t.’

‘Yes, you can!’

‘Stay out of this, kiska.’

‘I told you, I won’t stop until you stand down.’

‘You’re only going to get hurt, lyubov.’

‘No, I won’t.’

‘Get out of here, dorogusha. Now!’

‘Not until you stop this!’

‘I don’t have any other choice.’

‘Yes, you do. I believe in you. You can do this.’

‘No. I. Can’t.’

In his anger the knife he was holding slipped slightly and ended up cutting her just below her ribs. She cried out in pain and collapsed to the ground, allowing the Winter Soldier to break free of her hold.

‘Helen! What have you done to her?!’

At Steve’s words he turned around and looked in horror at the blood seeping out of her side.

‘Dorogaya, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I never meant to hurt you, lyubov moya.’

Helen looked into his eyes and only saw sorrow and regret in them so she nodded her head. ‘I know.’

He gave her a small nod before he turned around and continued to attack Steve who fought back immediately.

‘NO! Stop it! Don’t hurt him! Zorro, don’t hurt him!’

‘He is your enemy!’

‘He is my friend! I care about him more than anything in this world! Please, don’t hurt him.’

The Winter Solider snarled furiously and began attacking Steve more viciously. Helen watched on hopelessly as the two of them battled it out. The long gash protruding at her side had robbed her of mobility temporarily and she felt completely helpless as she could do nothing while Steve was in trouble and needed assistance.

Hissing in pain she gently placed her left hand on her wound and used her other to retrieve her wand from her coat pocket. Wincing at the painful tug it caused her she finally managed to pull out her wand.

She removed her left hand from her cut and aimed her wand at it.

‘Vulnera Sanentur.’ She muttered.

This stopped the bleeding and allowed her to get up from the ground. She reached Steve just as she flipped over the Winter Soldier. The move caused his mask to fall off and Helen waited in morbid curiosity to finally see his face.

When he turned around however, she got the shock of her life. The Winter Soldier was Bucky. Zorro was Bucky. It was Bucky all along. She could not believe this. How did she not see it before? This was why she fell in love with Zorro so quickly. Because he was really Bucky all along.

She burst into tears and sank to the ground in shock. Steve reached forward and grabbed her before she could fall to the ground. He held her tightly in his arms as she sobbed over seeing Bucky again.

‘Bucky?’ He asked in shock.

‘Who the hell is Bucky?’ The brunette spat.

He then saw that Helen was wrapped up in Steve’s arms and growled in jealousy. He aimed his gun at Steve but before he could shoot him Sam flew in with his falcon wings and kicked Bucky out of the way.

Bucky got back up again and tried to shoot Steve for a second time but was foiled by Natasha, who fired a grenade launcher at him. This caused him to flee and Helen looked at the spot he was just standing in with longing.

Bucky was alive. All this time he was alive and he had found his way back to her. Even if he didn’t know who he was he had still found her. The universe had brought them back together again. She couldn’t believe this. How could she have not seen it before? Zorro had always reminded her so much of Bucky and they had the same eyes. How could she not realise that they were the same person? How did she not recognise the love of her life? What was wrong with her?

She let out a strangled sob. Bucky had come back to her. Just like he promised he would. And she wasn’t going to stop until she brought him back completely. She would break whatever hold HYDRA had over him. What more could she do for love? After all Bucky would do it for her.


	28. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen and Steve try to cope with the news that Bucky is alive and working for HYDRA.

* * *

Despite resolving to bring Bucky back to her Helen was unable to do anything due to the shock of it all. She just couldn’t believe that this was happening. How could it be? It should be impossible. Bucky died. Steve said so. He shouldn’t just be able to come back from the dead. Nobody really could. Not unless you weren’t actually dead.

That must have been what happened to Bucky. Though how he survived that fall she didn’t know. Under normal circumstances it shouldn’t be possible. So how did it happen to Bucky?

Unfortunately she didn’t have much time to dwell on it as they were soon surrounded by HYDRA agents. Helen groaned when she saw that Rumlow was leading them. The last thing she needed right now was to be around that creep. Not after what just happened.

‘Drop the shield, Cap! On your knees! Get on your knees! Now! Get down! Get down!’ Rumlow yelled.

Steve held his hands up and Helen copied him.

‘Get on your knees! Down!’ Rumlow growled, kicking at their legs when they wouldn’t kneel down.

Helen rolled her eyes at the creep but complied anyway and Steve soon followed suit.

‘Don’t move.’ The HYDRA creep said.

Rollins pointed a gun at Steve’s head but Rumlow stopped him.

‘Put the gun down. Not here. Not here!’

Helen sighed in defeat as Rumlow and the other agents took her, Steve, Sam and Natasha into custody. They were escorted into a van and Helen honestly didn’t know how they were going to get out of this one.

‘It was him. He looked right at me like he didn’t even know me.’ Steve said sadly once the van started moving.

Sam shook his head in disbelief. ‘How’s that even possible? It was like seventy years ago.’

‘Zola. Bucky’s whole unit was captured in ‘43, Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him and...’

‘None of that’s your fault, Steve.’ Natasha said quietly.

‘Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky.’

Helen patted Steve on the arm. ‘You can’t keep blaming yourself, Steve. There was no way you could have known that Bucky survived the fall. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen. If I had know that Bucky had survived I...’

‘That’s exactly the point, Steve. You didn’t know.’

‘I should have done more to help him.’

‘There’s nothing more you could have done, Steve.’ Natasha pointed out.

Sam looked at Natasha and saw that she was bleeding from her shoulder. He turned to the guards with a stern expression on his face.

‘We need to get a doctor here. We don’t put pressure on that wound she’s gonna bleed out here in the truck.’

Neither of the guards replied and Sam opened his mouth to speak again when one of the guards suddenly tasered the other guard with an electric rod, knocking him out.

The guard took off the mask to reveal that it was Hill.

‘Ah. That thing was squeezing my brain.’ She said.

Sam looked at her in confusion and she gave him the same look back.

‘Who’s this guy?’ She asked Steve.

‘Hill, this is Sam Wilson. Sam, this is Maria Hill. She’s the Deputy Director of SHIELD or what used to be SHIELD.’

‘Nice to meet you.’

‘Likewise.’

‘Sorry to interrupt but we do need to get out of here before Nat bleeds out.’ Helen told them.

‘You’re right.’

‘You got a plan to get us out of here, Hill?’

‘Yup. Just follow my lead.’

Soon they had escaped from the van and Hill took them to a secret facility.

A doctor ran towards them as they entered.

‘GSW. She’s lost at least a pint.’ Hill said to him.

‘Maybe two.’ Sam added.

‘Let me take her.’

Hill shook her head. ‘She’ll want to see him first.’

‘Who’s him?’ Helen asked in confusion.

‘Just follow me.’

Hill led them into a room where Fury was lying in the bed, alive and well. Helen reeled back in shock. Was everyone coming back from the dead today? A quick glance at the others showed that they were just as shocked as she was. And for good reason as well. Helen, Steve and Natasha had all seen Fury die so to see him alive was a little jarring.

‘About damn time.’ Fury said once he spotted them.

A few minutes later Natasha’s wound was being healed and the rest of them sat down as Fury explained everything.

‘Lacerated spinal column, cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, one hell of a headache.’

‘Don’t forget your collapsed lung.’ The doctor added.

‘Oh, let’s not forget that. Otherwise, I’m good.’

Natasha looked at him in disbelief. ‘They cut you open, your heart stopped.’

‘Tetrodotoxin B. Slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Banner developed it for stress. Didn’t work so great for him, but we found a use for it.’

‘Why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?’ Steve asked.

‘Any attempt on the director’s life had to look successful.’ Hill replied.

‘Can’t kill you if you’re already dead. Besides, I wasn’t sure who to trust.’ Fury added.

A little while later Fury had gotten out of bed and they were all discussing Pierce.

‘This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said, “Peace wasn’t an achievement, it was a responsibility.” See, it’s stuff like this that gives me trust issues.’ Fury said while looking at a picture of Pierce.

‘We have to stop the launch.’ Natasha said tensely.

‘I don’t think the Council’s accepting my calls anymore.’ Fury pointed out.

He then opened a case which contained three electronic chips.

‘What’s that?’ Sam asked.

‘Once the Helicarriers reach three thousand feet, they’ll triangulate with Insight satellites becoming fully weaponised.’ Hill started to explain.

‘We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own.’ Fury continued.

‘One or two won’t cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work, because if even one of those ships remains operational a whole lot of people are gonna die.’ Hill finished gravely.

‘We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is HYDRA. We need to get pass them, insert the server blades, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what’s left...’

‘We’re not salvaging anything. We’re not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we’re taking down SHIELD.’ Steve cut in.

‘SHIELD had nothing to do with it.’

‘You gave me this mission, this is how it ends. SHIELD’s been compromised, you said so yourself. HYDRA grew right under your nose and nobody noticed.’

‘Why do you think we’re meeting in this cave? I noticed.’

‘And how many paid the price before you did?’ Steve countered.

Fury sighed. ‘Look, I didn’t know about Barnes.’

‘Even if you have, would you have told me? Would you have told Helen? Or would you have compartmentalised that too? SHIELD, HYDRA, it all goes.’

‘He’s right.’ Hill said.

Fury looked at Natasha and then Helen who both shrugged. He then turned his gaze to Sam.

‘Don’t look at me. I do what he does, just slower.’

‘Well... Looks like you’re giving the orders now, Captain.’

Some time later Helen was sitting alone, thinking about Bucky. She had no idea how she was going to break him free of the strong hold that HYDRA had over him but she knew that she wasn’t going to give up until she did. She would never give up on Bucky. He was the love of her life and she would do anything for him.

Footsteps sounded behind her and Helen turned around to face Steve with a small smile on her face.

‘Hey.’ She greeted quietly.

‘Hey.’

‘You doing okay?’ Steve asked after he sat down beside her.

‘Yeah.’

‘You don’t have to lie.’

‘I’m really not.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You ready to take down HYDRA?’

‘You bet I am.’

‘You’re going to try and bring Bucky back, aren’t you?’

‘Aren’t you going to do the same thing?’

‘He doesn’t remember me.’ Steve sighed.

‘Maybe not now but he will.’

‘How are you planning on bringing him back?’

‘By reminding him of who he really is.’

‘You really think that’ll work?’

‘I don’t know but it’s all I’ve got.’

‘I’ll help you, Helen. We’re in this together.’

‘Yeah.’

‘We will get him back.’

‘I know.’

‘He’s going to be so happy when he realises that you’re alive.’

‘I think he’s figured that out already.’

‘As the Winter Soldier he has but not as Bucky Barnes.’

‘I just want him back, Steve.’

‘I know you do and I’ll bring him back to you. Even if it’s the last thing I do.’

‘He came back, Steve. He actually came back to me. And now that he’s back I’m not letting him get away again.’


	29. The Asset’s Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After coming face to face with Helen and Steve Bucky’s memories start to come back. Unfortunately Pierce isn’t willing to let him go that easily.

* * *

The Asset had never been this confused in his life. His head hurt like hell and he was shaky all over. This had never happened to him before and he didn’t know why. Sure, seeing his dorogaya willingly consort with the enemy unnerved him but that alone couldn’t be enough to make him feel like he was about to explode. What was happening to him? Why was this happening to him? Was he dying?

He couldn’t be sure that he was though. Yes, his head felt like it was going to explode any second and his heart was in shattered little pieces after seeing his zvezda with his enemies. He felt so betrayed. How could she do this? Didn’t she know that they were dangerous? Did she not realise that they would kill her? Had she been brainwashed by them? Were they holding her hostage? Was she being tortured?

If she was then he had to get her out of there. He couldn’t let them hurt his dorogaya for another second. He would kill them all if he had to. It was worth it if it meant that she was safe. He’d do anything for her and soon they’d both be free to be together.

‘Soldat, pora idti.’ (Soldier, it’s time to go.)

The Asset turned around and faced one of the agents.

‘Ya gotov.’ He said dully. (I’m ready.)

‘Pridi, Soldat.’ (Come, Soldier.)

The Asset nodded and followed the agent to a van which he was ordered to get into. He did so and sat in silence as it drove him to wherever they were taking to him.

A few minutes later the doors to the back of the van opened and the Asset was ordered to get out. He complied and was soon being led to a bank and was put in an underground vault there.

He sat in silence as they fixed the damage done to his metal arm. He always hated this part so he just sat and endured it.

Suddenly his mind was filled with a vision of a bespectacled scientist with a foreign accent. His body was lying in the snow, his left arm a bloody stump. Suddenly he was being dragged through the snow and came face to face with the strange scientist man.

‘Sergeant Barnes...’

Barnes? Was that his name? He had certainly seen or heard it before. Then he remembered. Barnes was the name on the dog tags that his dorogaya wore. She said that it was the name of her fiancé. Could that be him? No, she would have told him if he was.

His mind then flashed to an image of him hanging off the edge of the train. The blond man that he saw earlier was there and he was reaching for his hand so he could pull him back up. But then the bar he was holding onto broke and he fell from the train down to the snowy mountains.

‘Bucky, no!’

His terrified screams as he fell echoed through his mind. Did he die? No, he was here. He couldn’t be dead.

But he knew that blond man, he was certain. Were they friends? Teammates? He wasn’t sure. And then his brain repeated what Helen told him when he asked how her fiancé died. He fell off a train, she said. _He_ fell off a train. Was he really her fiancé? Could it be true?

He thought of her face and how it felt familiar to him. He closed his eyes and tried to remember.

He suddenly had a vision of her in a black dress in a dance hall. He was there too. They were dancing together. They looked so happy and in love.

‘I love you.’ Past him said.

‘What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.’ His dorogaya replied.

‘I love you.’ He said louder.

‘You mean that?’ She asked.

‘I do. I love you so much, doll.’

‘I love you too.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. I love you, Bucky.’

‘I love you too, Helen.’

The memory ended with them passionately kissing.

The Asset felt like he couldn’t breathe. Was this really his life?Was this really a memory or just an illusion?

He took in a stuttering breath as another vision assaulted him. Helen was wearing a beautiful deep purple dress and he was in some kind of army uniform. They were walking through a grassy area when he suddenly got down on one knee.

‘Doll, I love you. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you. You’re my whole world. Everything I do I do it for you, to make you happy. Because you’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could be and I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t make you just as happy. When I’m with you nothing else matters and I’d go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. You’re my everything, my soulmate, my love. I want forever with you and I’d do anything to make that happen. So, I ask you, Helen Evans, will you do me the honour of marrying me?’

His dorogaya was in tears but somehow he knew that they were happy ones. She laughed a little before giving her answer.

‘Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.’

He grinned in delight and put the ring on her finger and sure enough it was the exact same ring that he knew that she wore on her finger right now.

‘I love you so much, my future wife.’

‘I love you too, my future husband.’

The memory ended with them sharing a passionate and tender kiss.

The Asset couldn’t believe this. He was his dorogaya’s fiancé. He no longer had to compete for her love because he was the only person she had ever loved. He was hers and she was his. He had to get back to her. He promised that he would. He still needed to marry her after all.

The next memory that came to him wasn’t as pleasant as the last two. In fact it was downright horrific. He was strapped to a table and someone was cutting off what was left of his left arm, leaving only the shoulder. It made him sick to his stomach. Who would do such a thing?

‘The procedure has already started.’ The scientist with the round glasses said.

Then he saw himself waking up and seeing that his left arm was replaced by the metal one he had now. The scientist man was in front of him again.

‘You are to be the new fist of HYDRA.’

He reached up with his new metal arm and choked one of the scientists.

‘Put him on ice.’ The bespectacled man ordered.

The next thing he knew he was being frozen and he came back to the present. He saw one of the scientists working on his arm and he hit him with his metal arm, causing him to fly across the room. He couldn’t trust them. They did this to him. It was all them.

Several of the agents aimed their guns at him but he paid them no mind. He had more important things to think about, like how he was going to get back to Helen. He needed to tell her that he remembered the old life they had together. She had a right to know. Then they could be together again, just like they had planned.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Pierce approaching him but he ignored him. Helen said that she couldn’t trust him and he believed her. He wasn’t about to be lied to again. They were all his enemies.

‘Mission report.’ Pierce ordered.

He didn’t respond, keeping a blank look on his face. He had to get out of here. But how? He was surrounded.

‘Mission report, now.’ Pierce snapped.

The Asset, no _Bucky_ , held back a growl. This man had ordered him to kill the love of his life. He wasn’t about to answer this sick son of a bitch. Not until he left Helen out of this mess. She didn’t deserve that.

He flinched when Pierce struck him forcefully across the face. He knew he had to answer but he wasn’t going to give the man what he wanted to hear. No, instead he was going to ask him something that had been bothering him ever since he got back.

‘The man on the bridge... Who was he?’

‘You met him earlier this week on another assignment.’

‘I knew him.’

Pierce sat down in front of him. ‘Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century, and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning we’re gonna give it a push. But, if you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine, and HYDRA can’t give the world the freedom it deserves.’

No, it was all lies. Helen was right. He wasn’t answering the question. He was lying. He knew the man on the bridge and he knew that Pierce knew that as well.

‘But I knew him.’

Pierce gave him a disappointed look before turning to the scientists.

‘Prep him.’

‘He’s been out of cryofreeze too long.’ One of the scientists said.

‘Then wipe him and start over. But keep his most recent memories of the girl. We may be able to use her to our advantage.’

He gulped in fear as the teeth shield was placed into his mouth. He hated this part the most. He didn’t want to go back into the chair. He had to get back to Helen. She needed him.

He tensed as his arms were locked in by cuffs and watched in fear as the machine came down. He screamed in pain as the panels electrocuted him. He hated this part. He just wanted it to be over so he could see Helen again. She was the only thing in his life worth living for. He had to see her again.

A few minutes later the machine stopped and he was released from the chair. He couldn’t remember exactly why they wiped him but he knew it had to be for a good reason since he hadn’t been in the chair in ages.

He blinked tears out of his eyes and saw that he was alone in the room. Well, mostly alone. A couple of guards and a few scientists were in the room with him. The Asset didn’t mind them being there. He was never really alone anyway. He was a weapon, a dangerous weapon. He needed to be watched at all times.

‘You’re not dangerous, Zorro.’

The Asset startled as a female’s voice echoed in his mind. Who was she and why was she calling him Zorro? Was that his name? No, it couldn’t be. No one else called him that. He didn’t have a name anyway. He was just the Asset or the Soldier. A weapon like him didn’t have a name.

But then why was this woman calling him Zorro? Did she give him that name? Why would she call him that? And more importantly, where would he have met her? She couldn’t be HYDRA. No one from HYDRA had ever given him a name before. Who was she?

‘I love you, Zorro.’

‘I love you too, dorogaya.’

The Asset gasped. How could he have forgotten his dorogaya? She was the love of his life, his everything. How could he forget her even for one minute? He needed to get back to her. But where was she? He couldn’t see her anywhere in the room. Did they get separated? Was she hurt? Had she been kidnapped? Where could she be?

Then he remembered seeing her in the arms of a strange blond man. She was sobbing and had a distressed look on her face. Clearly she didn’t want to be anywhere near the man and he growled at the thought of his solnyshko being held against her will. He had to save her. He couldn’t have her with the horrible man any longer. He would get her out of there, even if he had to kill anyone who stood in his way. The safety of his zvezda was worth it. He’d do anything for her and he had to save her. She didn’t deserve this. He would save her and then they’d be together, just like they talked about.


	30. The End of the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve reflects on the recent events and thinks about his friendship with Bucky and what it means going forward.

* * *

Though he remained strong in front of Helen Steve was panicking inside. How could this be happening? Bucky was alive. _Alive_. And not only was he alive he was under the control of HYDRA. All this time, all those years, Bucky had suffered under the hands of the enemy. How could this have happened? Bucky didn’t deserve this. He was one of the best guys that Steve had ever known. He didn’t deserve to be used by HYDRA like this. He deserved so much more.

He swore right now that he would do whatever it takes to get Bucky out of HYDRA’s grasp. He had to. For Bucky’s sake and for Helen’s as well. She had been so devastated when she found out that Bucky had been suffering under HYDRA for several decades. He had to get Bucky out so he and Helen could have the life they always wanted together. They deserved that much. They deserved to spend the rest of their lives together. And Steve was going to get it for them, even if it killed him.

He had to get Bucky out. He was his best friend, his brother in all but blood. Bucky had been there for him through thick and thin. He had stayed by his side even when he was at risk of dying from his various ailments. He stayed with him even though he was at risk of catching whatever illness Steve was suffering from. Bucky had saved him from numerous fights. He had saved him from getting beaten to a bloody pulp more times than he could count. So it was only fair that Steve saved him from HYDRA’s clutches. Bucky would do it for him after all.

And Helen was like a sister to him. She had been there for him just like Bucky had. She had accepted him for who he was, had seen past his skinny frame and numerous ailments and saw him as an actual person. She had stayed by his side throughout his whole journey as Captain America. She even stayed when he was still a scrawny little private in the army. She was the one who motivated him, who told him to wait it out when he was doing those stupid USO shows. She was the one who told him that his moment would come, that he just had to wait for it. She was the one who supported him no matter what, even when his decisions were downright insane. He couldn’t let her down now.

His mind strayed back to Bucky and his heart broke just thinking about what his friend had been through. HYDRA were sick bastards and he knew that he would have no qualms about torturing him into submission. He had no idea what they had done to Bucky to make him forget everything about his old life and he didn’t want to know. It had to be downright horrific. Bucky had a strong mind and a will of iron steel. It would take a lot for him to be broken and even more for them to take all of his memories. It sickened him to his stomach to even think about it. He couldn’t believe that this had happened to Bucky. He didn’t deserve any of this. He was a good person, one of the best ones out there. How could this have happened to him?

His mind flashed back to the time just after his mother’s funeral. It was a difficult time for Steve. It had always just been him and his mother. His dad had died fighting overseas in the war shortly before he was born so his mother had raised him on her own. She was brilliant and so kind. She always made sure that he had everything he needed. When she died he felt like his whole world was falling apart and he didn’t know whether or not he’d be able to carry on without her. But then Bucky had stepped up and got him through it. He didn’t know what he would have done if it hadn’t been for Bucky. He truly was the greatest friend a guy could ask for. He was the one who got him through his mother’s funeral and all the hard months after it. It was after his mother’s funeral that Bucky offered him his full support and he was so grateful for it.

\- Flashback-

_‘We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery.’Bucky said to him as they walked up the stairs to Steve’s apartment._

_Steve sighed. ‘I know, I'm sorry. I just...kind of wanted to be alone.’_

_‘How was it?’ Bucky asked quietly._

_‘It was okay. She's next to Dad.’_

_‘I was gonna ask...’_

_‘I know what you're gonna say, Buck, I just...’_

_‘We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It'll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash.’_

_As they reached the apartment door Steve searched his pockets for his keys but was unable to find them. Bucky kicked a brick aside picked up a key from under it and handed it to him._

_‘Come on.’ He urged._

_‘Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own.’_

_‘The thing is, you don’t have to.’_

_Bucky gently gripped his shoulder._

_‘I’m with you until the end of the line, pal.’_

\- End flashback -

That was one of his favourite memories of Bucky. Because although it happened at a horrible time in his life it proved just how strong their friendship really was. They were always there for each other and what Bucky said that day just proved it.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sam coming up to him.

‘He’s gonna be there, you know?’ The dark skinned man said.

‘I know.’ Steve said with a sigh.

‘Look, whoever he used to be, the guy he is now, I don’t think he’s the kind you save. He’s the kind you stop.’

‘I don’t know if I can do that.’

‘Well, he might not give you a choice. He doesn’t know you.’ Sam said gently but there was a firmness in his tone. A warning.

‘Maybe not but he knows Helen.’

‘You can’t use her against him. It’s not safe for her.’

‘Bucky would never hurt Helen.’

‘Maybe not as Bucky but as the Winter Soldier you never know.’ Sam argued.

‘He won’t. He didn’t hurt her when we were all facing off against him.’

‘You don’t know what HYDRA has done to him.’ Sam pointed out.

‘Whatever they did, it didn’t erase Helen from his mind. He knew her. I could tell. Even as the Winter Soldier he loves her with everything he has.’

‘Knowing her isn’t enough to stop him. He still attacked you. Attacked all of us.’

‘She can get through to him.’

‘You can’t take that risk. If she says the wrong thing and sets him off then he could kill her. Don’t use her like this. It’s not worth it.’ Sam pleaded.

‘It’s worth everything if it means that Bucky and Helen can be together again.’

‘Then you risk yourself against him. Don’t force Helen to do this.’

‘She wants to do this.’

‘I can’t stop either of you but I just want you to know the risks. Like I said, he doesn’t know you.’

‘He will. Gear up, it’s time.’ Steve said, turning to walk away.

‘You gonna wear that?’ Sam called after him.

‘No. If you’re gonna fight a war, you gotta wear a uniform.’


	31. Checking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen video calls Ron and Hermione to tell them everything that has been going on. Afterwards she prepares for the mission with Steve, Sam and Natasha.

* * *

While Steve was off preparing for their new mission Helen decided to video call Ron and Hermione to tell them everything that had been going on recently. It had been over a month since she had last talked to them so this call was definitely overdue. She selected Hermione’s number on her StarkPad and waited for them to answer.

She smiled in greeting as their faces appeared on the screen.

‘Hey, mate.’

‘Hi, Ron.’

‘Helen! How are you?’

‘I’m good, ‘Mione. How are you?’

‘I’m fine. It’s been so long since your last call.’

‘I know. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry, mate. We know how busy you can get with your job.’

‘How is your job going anyway?’ Hermione asked curiously.

‘Actually, that’s kind of why I called. I’ve got some news.’

‘What’s happened?’ Hermione asked in concern.

‘It’s a long story actually.’

‘Then start from the beginning.’

‘Okay. Uh, remember how I told you about the man in the mask?’

‘Zorro. Yeah, of course we do.’

‘It turns out that Zorro is actually Bucky.’

‘Okay. I was _not_ expecting that.’

‘Trust me, neither was I.’

‘So, where’s Bucky now?’

‘This is the part where it gets complicated.’

‘How so?’

‘I told you about HYDRA, right?’

‘Yeah. It’s the organisation that Steve fought against during the war. They’re kind of like the Death Eaters.’

‘Exactly. So, it turns out that HYDRA isn’t gone.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘HYDRA was never defeated. A small part of it survived and that small part infiltrated SHIELD. HYDRA is SHIELD. Most of the higher ups in SHIELD are a part of HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is HYDRA and his high position is allowing him to conduct this awful plan without anyone knowing what it’s actually about.’

‘What’s the plan?’

‘HYDRA is going to use the Helicarriers to kill thousands of people.’

‘Why would they do that?’

‘Evil doesn’t need a reason, does it?’

‘No, I suppose not.’

‘How are you planning on stopping it?’

‘Who says I am?’

‘Mate, come on. We know you. When it comes to saving lives you can’t step aside and do nothing.’

‘Okay. I am helping.’

‘So, what’s the plan?’

‘Steve and Sam are in charge of taking them down. My role is a little quieter.’

‘What’s your role?’

‘This is where it gets complicated again.’

‘How?’

‘Bucky is- Bucky has been brainwashed by HYDRA. They’ve turned him into a weapon. He assassinates anyone who stands in their way. He doesn’t remember anything from his old life. He doesn’t even remember his own name or Steve or the fact that we’re engaged.’

‘Oh, Helen. I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s okay. At least he’s alive, right?’

‘I suppose.’

‘You said he doesn’t remember anything. Are you going to try and get him to?’

‘I’m going to try. I don’t know if I’ll succeed but it’s worth a shot. If he tries to stop us then the mission will likely fail. If I can at least distract him then Steve and Sam can complete the mission.’

‘What if he hurts you?’

‘I’m willing to take that risk. I’d die if it means that thousands can be saved.’

‘Just be careful.’

‘I will.’

‘I’m sure he’ll come back to you, Helen. You two were meant to be together.’

‘I don’t know. HYDRA has got a pretty strong hold on him.’

‘If anyone can set him free, it’s you.’

‘I’ll try my best. Hopefully that’s enough.’

‘It will be.’

‘Thanks, guys.’

‘No problem.’

‘I’ll call you after the mission.’

‘Okay. Good luck.’

Helen smiled as she hung up. Ron and Hermione always knew how to cheer her up. She didn’t know what she’d do without them.

The door to her room opening brought her out of her thoughts and she turned around to see who had entered.

‘Hey, Steve. Hey, Sam.’

‘Hey, Helen. How are you doing?’ Sam greeted with a smile.

‘I’m fine.’

‘What have you been up to?’ Steve asked.

‘Just calling Ron and Hermione to tell them what’s been happening.’

‘That’s nice.’

‘Yeah, it’s always great talking to them.’

‘Are you ready to do this?’

‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’

‘It’s okay to back out, you know. No one will be angry at you if you do.’

‘I can’t back out. I’m the only one who can get through to Bucky and if he tries to stop you guys I have to be there. I can’t let HYDRA win just because I was too scared to face my brainwashed fiancé.’

‘Wow. You’re really brave.’ Sam complemented.

‘I get that a lot.’

‘Are you sure you’re ready to see him though?’ Steve asked worriedly.

‘I have to be.’

‘You sure you’re alright with it?’ The blond fretted.

‘Stop worrying, Steve. I’ll be fine.’

‘I’m sorry. I just don’t want you getting hurt.’

‘I won’t. Even as the Winter Soldier he loves me.’

‘But he’s still not Bucky.’

‘No but he’s still pretty great.’

‘Do you... love him as the Winter Soldier?’

‘I do.’

‘How? I thought you only met him twice.’

‘I lied.’

‘What?’ Steve asked, reeling back in shock.

‘I didn’t just meet him twice. We met up a lot of times after that.’ She admitted.

‘And during these meetings you fell in love with him?’

‘Yeah and I felt so guilty because- because...’

‘Because you didn’t know that he was Bucky at the time.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Why didn’t you just tell me?’ Steve asked with a pout.

‘I felt so guilty.’

‘You still could have told me.’

Helen sighed. ‘I know. I just didn’t want to admit it to anyone else.’

‘Because that would have made it all real.’

‘Exactly, Sam.’

‘Falling in love doesn’t make you a bad person, Helen.’

‘I felt like one. I felt so bad for betraying Bucky like that.’

‘You thought he was dead, Helen. You did nothing wrong.’ Steve assured.

‘Then why did it feel like I did?’

‘Because you still loved Bucky.’

‘Yeah and now the two people I love are now just the one person.’

‘Maybe a part of you knew that it was Bucky all along.’

‘Maybe.’

Natasha strolled into the room. ‘Hey, guys.’

‘Hey, Nat.’

‘Fury and Hill are ready to go ahead.’

‘Okay.’

‘You guys ready?’

‘Of course we are.’

‘You alright, Helen?’

‘Yeah.’

‘It’s going to be okay.’

‘I know.’

‘Are you okay with seeing him?’

‘Yeah. I really am.’

‘Okay. You got your broom and invisibility cloak ready?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So, how does this invisibility cloak work?’ Sam asked.

‘It’s simple really. All you do is throw it over you and it turns you invisible. No one can see you as long as you have it on.’

‘Impressive. They common in your world?’

‘A little but there’s no other quite like this one. It’s the most powerful one out there.’

‘Wow. How’d you get it?’

‘It’s a family heirloom.’

‘Huh. Talk about your good luck.’

‘Mm.’

‘Can I borrow it sometime?’

‘Of course, Sam. Just say the word and it’s yours.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. It’s good protection and I like keeping my friends safe.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘You’re welcome.’

‘I kind of want to see if it’ll fit Steve.’

‘It should. It covered me and my two friends for years.’

‘Ah. But it hasn’t been tested out on a super solider.’

‘No, it’s not.’

‘We should do an experiment. See if it fits Steve.’

‘We should.’

‘Guys, we don’t have time for this.’

‘Oh, come on, Cap. Don’t ruin the fun.’

‘Yeah, Steve. Stop being a spoilsport.’

‘It’ll only take a couple of minutes anyway.’

‘Need I remind you three that we have a mission?’

‘There’s no rush, Steve.’

‘I think there is.’

‘Relax, Cap. Fury will call us when it’s time to go.’

‘Still, we shouldn’t be messing around.’

‘Don’t you want to know if the invisibility cloak will fit you? It could come in pretty handy.’

‘I do but..’

‘But nothing, Rogers! Just try it on.’

‘Fine. Give it here.’

Helen handed him the invisibility cloak and they all watched as Steve tried it on. As Helen predicted it did fit Steve and she saw that Natasha and Sam seemed shocked that such a small and delicate item fitted someone as large and bulky as Steve. But Helen knew that when it came to magic size didn’t matter though no one else in the room knew that.

‘I can’t believe it actually fit him.’ Sam said after Steve had taken off the cloak and handed it back to Helen.

‘I know what you mean. I never expected it to actually fit me.’

‘It’s magic, guys. I don’t think normal rules apply here.’

‘Nat’s right. When it comes to magic size doesn’t really matter. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that are the most powerful.’

‘Huh. That’s really cool.’

‘I’ll say. I wish I was a wizard.’

‘Don’t worry, Sam. There’s still a chance you could have a magical child in the future.’

‘How?’

‘It’s possible for Muggles to have magical children. We call them Muggleborns. Hermione’s parents are Muggles. It’s more common than you think.’

‘I guess I’ll just have to hope that I get a badass magical child in the future.’

‘I guess so.’

‘I still think you’re pretty badass, Sam.’

‘Thanks, buddy.’

Just then Nat’s phone buzzed and they all waited with bated breath as she read it.

‘Well?’ Steve asked.

‘It’s time.’

‘Okay, everyone. Let’s take down HYDRA.’


	32. The Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen, Steve and Sam face off against the Winter Soldier AKA Bucky while on their mission to take down the Helicarriers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick but important note: I was thinking about writing a story that’s purely from Bucky’s perspective. It would be set before he met Helen and explore his life growing up. Would anybody be interested in that?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

The four of them left Helen and Steve’s apartment and met Fury and Hill at the secret base. They went over the plan one more time while there. Fury and Natasha would be working together to take down Pierce while Steve, Helen and Sam would take down the Helicarriers. Hill would be on surveillance, guiding them through it all. Helen also had the additional job of getting through to Bucky and preventing him from sabotaging their plan if need be. She was determined to bring Bucky back to her and she wasn’t going to fail this time.

‘Good luck, guys.’ Natasha said.

‘Good luck to you too.’

‘Thanks.’

‘It’s so weird seeing you with a different face.’

‘Don’t worry, Rogers. You won’t have to see it for long.’

Natasha was going undercover as a councilwoman which would give her prime access to Pierce without him knowing that she was there to cause his downfall.

‘Well, we’ll see you later, Councilwoman Hawley.’

‘See you later.’

‘Alright, enough chit chat. Let’s get moving.’ Fury grunted out.

Everyone nodded and they went off in different directions.

A few minutes later Helen arrived at the Triskelion with Steve, Sam and Hill. They snuck in and banged on the door to the headquarters of Project Insight. A technician answered and looked shocked to see them. Helen, Hill and Sam pointed their guns at him and Steve looked at him threateningly.

‘Excuse us.’ He said.

The technician stepped aside to let them in and they all entered the room.

After taking out all the technicians in the room Steve stepped up to the microphone and started addressing everyone in the building.

‘Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You’ve heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it’s time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it’s been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don’t know how many more, but I know they’re in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won’t end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I’m asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.’

‘Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?’ Sam asked after Steve had finished his speech.

‘Leave him alone, Sam.’

‘Hey, it was a good speech.’

‘It really was. You haven’t lost your touch.’

‘Thanks, Helen.’

‘Alright guys, let’s get moving.’

‘Roger that.’

Helen threw on her invisibility cloak and followed Steve and Sam out of the building.

‘They’re initiating launch.’ Hill told them over the comms.

Helen ran beside Steve as he and Sam rushed onto the deck where the Helicarriers were.

‘Hey, Cap, how do we know the good guys from the bad guys?’ Sam asked.

‘If they’re shooting at you, they’re bad.’ Steve replied.

Sam nodded before flying off in his Falcon suit. Meanwhile Steve jumped off the edge of the building, landing safely on his feet. Helen followed him on her broom and landed by his side.

‘You there, Helen?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Alright, let’s go.’

‘Roger that, Rogers.’

‘Stop that.’

‘I’m just trying to bring a little humour to a dark situation.’

‘By making fun of me?’

‘I’m just teasing you.’

‘I know.’

‘Just tell me something, Steve.’

‘Of course. I’ll do anything for you.’

‘Why am I stuck following you about when I could easily be taking down the third Helicarrier?’

‘We agreed that you would stay hidden and stay with me, Helen.’

‘But why though? Is it not easier for me to do what you’re doing? We’ll take down the Helicarriers a lot quicker that way.’

‘I can’t risk it, Helen. I have to be there to protect you in case Bucky hurts you.’

‘He’d never hurt me, Steve. You know that.’

‘I can’t take that risk. If he hurts you because you said the wrong thing then I’d never forgive myself. I have to be there in case something goes wrong between the two of you.’

‘It won’t, Steve. He knows me. He trusts me. He loves me. He’d rather die than hurt me.’

‘There’s always a possibility that he could.’

‘I’m not arguing over this with you. Especially since you’ve already made up your mind about it.’

‘I’m sorry, Helen. I know you want to do more to help but you’re the only one who can get through to Bucky. And while I trust Bucky completely the Winter Soldier is unpredictable and I can’t let him hurt you if he lashes out.’

‘He won’t do that, Steve.’

‘You don’t know what HYDRA put inside of him. We have to take all the necessary precautions.’

‘You’re being far too overprotective but I see your point.’

‘I have to be overprotective. I lost Bucky to HYDRA. I can’t lose you too.’

‘Then let’s kick some ass and bring him back.’

‘Let’s do it.’

Let’s go get our Bucky.’

‘Sounds good to me.’

The two of them continued to run, taking out HYDRA agents as they went.

‘Hey, Cap, I found those bad guys you were talking about.’ Sam said over the comms.

‘You okay?’ Steve asked.

‘I’m not dead yet.’ Sam replied.

Helen continued to take out the agents with both her wand and her gun. Being invisible really gave her an advantage as no one saw her coming, literally. With Steve at her side they were almost indestructible.

‘Falcon, status?’

‘Engaging... Alright, Cap, I’m in.’

‘Shit.’ Sam said a couple of seconds later.

‘Eight minutes, Cap.’ Hill reminded them over the comms.

‘Working on it.’

A few minutes later Steve and Helen entered the control centre of the Alpha Carrier.

‘Alpha locked.’ Steve said after switching the chips.

‘Falcon, where are you now?’

‘I had to take a detour!’

‘Let’s go, Steve.’

‘Roger that.’

‘You making jokes now?’

‘The situation called for it. We’re winning, aren’t we?’

‘Yeah. Almost too easily.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, so far nothing major has gone wrong. In a mission this big something always goes wrong.’

‘You’re just being paranoid.’

‘I hope so.’

‘Oh, yeah!’ Sam’s voice whooped over the comms.

‘Looks like Sam’s doing well.’

‘Yeah. Let’s just hope it stays that way for all of us.’

‘I’m in. Bravo locked.’

‘Two down, one to go.’

Steve and Helen ran across the deck of the Helicarrier. Unfortunately HYDRA agents intercepted them and they had to take them out.

‘Charlie Carrier’s forty five degrees off the port bow.’

‘We gotta go, Helen.’

‘I’m working on it.’

Helen took out the last of the agents and she and Steve began running again.

‘Six minutes.’

More HYDRA agents came after them and Helen and Steve began running to the edge of the carrier.

‘Hey, Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.’

‘Roger! Let me know when you’re ready.’

Helen mounted her broom and flew off the edge just as Steve jumped off it after a HYDRA agent threw a missile at him.

‘I just did!’

Sam flew towards them and caught Steve in time. He dropped Steve onto the deck of the last Helicarrier and landed on it himself a couple of seconds later. Helen did the same and the three of them were all on the Charlie carrier.

‘You know, you’re a lot heavier than you look.’ Sam said to Steve.

‘I had a big breakfast.’

‘Is Helen here?’

‘Right over here, Sam.’

‘Now that’s just creepy.’

‘You get used to it after a while.’

Suddenly Bucky appeared from out of nowhere and pushed Steve off of the edge.

‘Steve!’ Sam yelled.

He moved to the edge to fly down and help Steve but before he could Bucky grabbed one of his wings and threw him back.

‘A little help here, Helen.’ Sam said as he started shooting at Bucky.

‘I’m on it. Go help Steve.’

Helen threw off her invisibility cloak and placed it in her pocket.

‘Bucky! Bucky, stop!’

Bucky ignored her however and shot one of Sam’s wings as he tried to fly off, leaving Sam with only one wing. He then kicked him off the Helicarrier and Helen watched in horror as he fell.

‘Bucky! Bucky, what are you doing?’

Bucky didn’t reply so she tried a different approach.

‘Zorro!’ She called out.

This caused him to turn around and face her. His eyes lit up with joy as soon as he spotted her and he immediately engulfed her in a tight hug.

‘Dorogaya, oh lyubov moya. You’re okay. You’re here.’

‘Yeah, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘That- that blond man is holding you hostage.’ He spat viciously.

‘No, he’s not. He’s my friend.’

‘He’s not your friend, lyubimaya.’

‘Yes, he is.’

‘How can you say that? He kidnapped you, held you against your will. How can you say that he’s your friend?’

‘Because he is.’

‘Oh, dorogusha moya, what have they done to you?’

‘Nothing! They haven’t done anything to me.’

‘They’ve _brainwashed_ you. They’ve tricked you into thinking that they’re your friends.’

‘No, they haven’t. Bucky, please-’

‘Who the hell is _Bucky_?’

‘My fiancé.’

‘Oh. That’s his name.’ He said sadly.

‘No, it’s _your_ name.’

‘My name is Zorro.’

‘That’s not your real name. I gave it to you.’

‘My name is not Bucky.’

‘Yes, it is.’

‘No, it’s not. It’s your fiancé’s name.’

‘You _are_ my fiancé!’

‘What?’

‘You’re my fiancé. I didn’t realise it before because I hadn’t seen your face. But when I did I knew it was you right away. I thought I lost you but it turns out that all I had to do was find you.’

‘I’m not him.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because I would have remembered proposing to you.’

‘You don’t remember because HYDRA has taken all of your memories. They turned you into a mindless killing machine. They are evil. You can’t trust them.’

‘I don’t. The only person I trust is you.’

‘Then listen to me when I tell you that HYDRA is your enemy. You shouldn’t do anything that they say. They are evil. They want to destroy everything that’s good in this world.’

‘My only enemies are the people who took you away from me.’

‘They are my friends and if you trust me then you should trust them.’

‘You don’t know what you’re saying. They’ve brainwashed you.’

‘I have not been brainwashed. _You_ have!’

‘Don’t worry, Solnyshko. I will get you out of here and then we can be together.’

‘Please don’t hurt my friends.’ She begged.

‘They are not your friends.’

‘Please! If you love me then you’ll leave them alone.’

‘It’s because I love you that I’m doing this. I have to set you free.’

‘No, you don’t. Please, don’t do this.’

Bucky opened his mouth to say something but was stopped when a gunshot rang out. He looked around for where it came from and gasped in horror when he heard a pained moan coming from his love.

‘Solnyshko, talk to me.’

‘Bucky...’

‘Tell me where you’re hit, lyubimaya.’

‘The right side of my stomach.’

‘Take your hands away, lyubov. I need to see it.’

‘Okay.’ She said as she let out a shaky breath.

As Bucky examined her wound Helen heard Sam’s voice on the comms and breathed a sigh of relief. He was alright. He was safe.

‘Cap? Cap, come in. Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m here! I’m still on the Helicarrier. Where are you?’

‘I’m grounded, the suit’s down. Sorry, Cap.’

‘Don’t worry, I got it. Is Helen okay?’

‘Last I saw. Good luck, Cap.’

‘Thanks.’

‘It looks like you’re going to be okay, zaika.’

‘Bucky... don’t go ...’

‘I won’t. I’m not leaving you, dorogusha.’

‘No... don’t go... after Steve.’

‘I have to.’

‘No!’

‘Come on, kiska. We’ve got a blond super soldier to stop.’

Before Helen could open her mouth to protest again Bucky picked her up and carried her over his shoulder. She winced in pain as Bucky’s long strides irritated the wound in her side but for some reason he didn’t seem to notice and continued walking.

After a few minutes they made it to the last Helicarrier and Bucky gently placed her down beside the targeting blade system. He then kneeled down beside her and tenderly cupped her face with both of his hands.

‘I love you. I love you so much.’ He said with a loving smile on his face.

‘I... love you too.’

Bucky leaned in and connected their lips in a soft kiss. Helen melted into it and let Bucky kiss her for as long as he liked. Maybe it would distract him and Steve could replace the third chip without him noticing. All they had to do was keep kissing.

Unfortunately he broke the kiss after a couple of minutes and looked at her with sad eyes.

‘What’s wrong?’ She asked.

‘I’m sorry, lyubimaya.’

‘What for?’

‘For what I’m about to do. It’s for your own good though. I can’t have you helping him.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I’m sorry.’

Before she could say anything else Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out some rope. He carefully untangled it and then tightly tied it around her wrists and ankles.

‘Why are you doing this?’ She asked after he was finished.

‘To protect you from him.’

‘I don’t need protecting.’

‘Yes, you do. That blond man you call your friend, he’s dangerous. He’s only going to hurt you. I have to keep you safe from him.’

‘Please, don’t hurt him. He’s my friend.’

‘Stop saying that.’

‘No, I won’t.’

‘He’s not your friend, zaika. He’s your enemy.’

‘No, he isn’t.’

‘He is and in time you’ll see it.’

‘No, I won’t!’

‘Hush, milaya. You’re going to aggravate your wound.’

‘Bucky, please!’

‘It’s okay, dorogaya. I’ll deal with him and then I’ll get us out of here. We’ll get that wound treated, alright? You’re going to be just fine, I promise.’

‘Bucky...’

‘I’m here, lyubimaya. I’ll always be here.’

‘Love... you.’

‘I love you too, solnyshko. So, so much.’

Footsteps were heard and Bucky straightened up and stood directly in the way of the targeting blade system. Steve came walking up a few seconds later and he paused when he saw Bucky.

‘People are gonna die, Buck. I can’t let that happen.’ He said.

Bucky only looked at him coldly.

‘Please, don’t make me do this.’

Steve obviously sensed that Bucky wasn’t going to back down because he threw his shield at him. Bucky ducked out of the way and started attacking Steve. During their fight Steve managed to get the targeting blade system up but before he could switch the chips Bucky started attacking him and the chip fell from Steve’s hand.

Helen tried desperately to get out of the ropes holding her down but between Bucky tying the knots extra tight and the gaping gunshot wound in her side it was impossible. She just had to hope that either Steve or Bucky would untie her before she bled out.

Meanwhile Steve and Bucky were still battling it out. Both of them had jumped off the platform in search of the chip and were fighting each other for control of it.

Bucky managed to stab Steve in the shoulder with his knife and grabbed the chip. Before he could go back up to Helen though Steve pulled the knife out of his shoulder and grabbed Bucky by the throat. He held him in a chokehold for a few seconds before throwing him onto the ground. He then held him in a tight armlock.

‘Drop it! Drop it!’ Steve ordered.

When Bucky showed no sign of dropping the chip Steve broke his arm, causing him to cry out in pain. He still hadn’t dropped the chip so Steve held onto his throat until he passed out. This caused him to drop the chip and Steve quickly picked it up and started running.

Meanwhile Helen continued to try and get herself free but it was becoming more and more impossible as she continued to lose blood.

Luckily Steve was already climbing back up to get to the targeting system. Unfortunately Bucky regained consciousness and shot Steve in the left thigh and right shoulder. Luck must have been on their side though because Steve managed to climb up to the top despite his wounds.

‘Thirty seconds, Cap!’ Hill warned just as Steve made it to the targeting system.

‘Stand by.’ Steve said, pulling out the chip. ‘Charlie...’

Before Steve could put the chip in however Bucky shot him in the stomach, causing him to collapse to the ground.

‘Steve!’ Helen called out worriedly.

‘Oh my god, Helen! Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine. Just a gunshot wound.’

‘We’ve got to get you out of here.’

‘Not until you put that chip in. Come on, Steve. I believe in you.’

With great difficulty Steve pulled himself up and placed the chip in the targeting blade.

‘Charlie locked.’

‘You did it, Steve!’

‘Yeah, I did.’ Steve said as he untied Helen.

‘I don’t think we’re gonna make it out of here.’

‘That’s okay. We’ll die honourable deaths together.’

‘Sounds good.’

‘Okay, Cap, get out of there.’ Hill said over the comms.

‘Fire now.’

‘But, Steve...’

‘Do it! Do it now!’

As the Helicarriers were being destroyed Steve managed to get up onto his feet and pulled Helen up as well.

‘Come on. We’ve got to get out of here. We at least have to try.’

‘I don’t think I can, Steve.’

‘Yes, you can. Just hold onto me.’

‘Okay.’

Helen held onto Steve for support and the two of them took a couple of shaky steps forward. Steve grabbed onto the railing just in time to see Bucky fall and get trapped under some rubble.

‘Get on my back. I’m going to help him.’

Helen nodded and as soon as she was secure on Steve’s back the blond jumped down and made his way over to Bucky.

‘Go. I’ll stay here.’

Steve nodded and went to help Bucky. Meanwhile Helen collapsed to the ground due to the lack of blood. She lost consciousness just as Steve managed to get Bucky free.

‘Solnyshko!’ Bucky yelled in worry as he spotted Helen’s unmoving body.

‘She’ll be fine, Buck.’

‘Don’t talk to me! It’s your fault that she’s injured!’

‘It’s no one’s fault. We’ll get her out of here and get her help.’ Steve said soothingly.

‘Don’t act as if you care about her!’

‘I do care about her. She’s my friend.’

‘You’re her kidnapper!’

‘No, I’m not.’

‘You’re lying!’

‘I’m not lying and you know I’m not.’

‘How would I know that?’

‘Because you know me.’

Bucky growled and tackled Steve to the ground.

‘No, I don’t!’

‘Bucky, you’ve known me your whole life.’

Bucky hit Steve again but Steve chose not to fight back.

‘Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.’

Bucky paused. That was the name on his love’s dog tags. The son of a bitch must have seen them and is trying to trick him, like he did with Helen.

‘Shut up!’ Bucky snarled, hitting him again.

Steve took off his mask and threw his shield away.

‘I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend.’

Bucky snarled in rage. How dare he call himself his friend? This man kidnapped his love and brainwashed her. He was certainly no friend of his after doing that. He’d teach this fucker a lesson.

He ran forward and tackled him to the ground.

‘You’re my mission.’ He said before punching his face. ‘You’re my mission!’

‘Then finish it.’

Bucky didn’t know why he hesitated. He should kill him, especially after what he did to Helen. Why did he stop?

‘Cause I’m with you to the end of the line.’

Bucky looked at him in horror. He knew those words. He had heard them before. Could this man really be his friend?

Before he could think about it any longer the floor broke and the blond man started falling towards the river. Making a split decision Bucky grabbed Helen, tied her tightly to his back and dived in after the blond.

He shuddered a bit when he hit the cold water but powered through and grabbed the blond with his metal arm. He then started swimming to the top.

A few minutes later he was dragging the blond onto the muddy river bank. He let go of him and untied Helen from his back. He gently placed her on the ground and gave her one last kiss.

‘I love you so much, milaya. I’ll always love you and I promise I’ll come back for you. Don’t forget me, please. I love you, solnyshko.’

He looked over and saw that the blond was waking up so he walked away. Away from the love of his life and that caused a sinking feeling in his stomach. He hated leaving her there but he knew that she needed medical assistance and he couldn’t give her that. He’d come back when she was healed though. And then they’d be together like they always planned.


	33. Hospital Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen recovers from her gunshot wound and has a heart to heart with Sam.

* * *

The next thing she knew Helen was waking up in a hospital bed with beeping machines all around her. She groaned in pain which alerted the person in the room to the fact that she was awake.

‘Don’t move, Helen. Just take it easy.’ A voice said soothingly.

‘Nat?’

‘Yeah, it’s me.’

‘What happened?’

‘We found you and Steve unconscious on the bank of the Potomac.’

‘Is Steve okay?’

‘He’s still unconscious but he’s stable. The doctors say that he’ll make a full recovery.’

‘Thank god.’

‘Thank god indeed. We thought we had lost both of you.’

‘How bad was it?’

‘The serum healed some of Steve’s wounds but he was still in pretty bad shape when they brought him in. As for you, well, you lost a lot of blood.They had to give you several blood transfusions before you were stable enough for them to operate. Luckily they got the bullet out and apart from a horrendous scar you’ll be fine.’

‘Is everyone else okay? Sam? Fury? Hill?’

‘They’re all fine.’

‘We really did it then? We stopped Insight from happening?’

‘We did.’

‘I’m glad.’

‘Me too. I’m even more glad that we all made it out alive.’

‘Yeah. What about Pierce?’

‘He’s dead. Fury shot him.’

‘Brilliant. That motherfucker deserved it.’

‘Couldn’t have said it better myself.’

‘What about Rumlow? The rest of HYDRA?’

‘Rumlow was admitted to hospital with very severe burns all over his body. I don’t know if he survived or not. As far as the rest, I think we got most of them. Fury thinks that some still survived though and I’m sure there’s still a lot more out there.’

‘I guess we’ll just have to take them all down one by one.’

‘Yeah. But you’re not doing anything until you’ve recovered.’

‘I wasn’t thinking about doing anything just now.’

‘Good. How are you feeling?’

‘I’m a little sore.’ She said with a groan.

‘Are you going to go after Barnes once you get out of here?’

‘I have a feeling that he’ll come to me.’

‘What are you going to do if he does?’

‘Try to break him free of the hold HYDRA has on him.’

‘I’m sure you’ll be able to do it.’

‘I hope so. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t.’

‘You will. I’m sure of it.’

‘Thanks, Nat.’

‘No problem. Listen, I’m going to head home and clean up. Sam will come and visit you later.’

‘Okay.’

‘Bye, Helen. Stay safe.’

‘You too.’

Helen fell asleep as soon as Natasha left and when she woke up again it was Sam who was sitting beside her.

‘Hey, Sam.’

‘Helen. Thank god you’re okay.’

‘Yeah, I’m doing alright.’

‘Thought we lost you before.’

‘I know. Nat said the same thing. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.’

‘I’m glad. You’re a good friend, Helen.’

‘Right back at you, Sam.’

‘What are you going to do about him?’

‘Bucky?’

‘Yeah.’

‘If he comes back to me then I’ll do everything in my power to break him free of HYDRA once and for all.’

‘Just be careful.’

‘I will. Is Steve awake yet?’

‘Not yet but the doctors think he’ll wake up in a couple of days.’

‘When can I leave here?’

‘Tomorrow actually.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. You’ve been here for a couple of weeks and your wound has healed nicely. The doctors say that if you take it easy for the next few weeks then there’s no reason you can’t recover at home.’

‘Good. I hate hospitals.’

‘Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s really a fan of them.’

‘Unless you’re a doctor or a nurse.’

‘I suppose that’s the only exception.’

‘How are you, Sam? Did you get any injuries?’

‘Nothing major. I didn’t need treatment like you and Steve.’

‘Good. That’s good.’

‘I’m sorry about Barnes. I know this wasn’t exactly the reunion you were expecting to have with him.’

‘To be honest, I didn’t expect to be reunited with him at all.’

‘I guess the universe really wants you two to be together.’

‘I guess so.’

‘You get some rest, Helen. I’ll be back soon.’

‘Okay. Bye, Sam.’

‘Bye, Helen. Sleep well.’

Helen felt Sam gently kiss her forehead before she closed her eyes and fell asleep again.

The next day Helen was discharged from the hospital and Sam helped her get settled back into her and Steve’s apartment.

‘Okay. That’s everything.’ Sam said.

‘Thanks, Sam.’

‘No problem. You just rest now. I’ll be back later to pick you up.’

‘Yeah. I can’t wait to see Steve.’

‘He’s not awake yet, you know.’

‘I know. I just need to see him.’

‘He’s fine, Helen.’

‘I need to see that for myself.’

‘Yeah, I get that.’

‘Thank you, Sam. I don’t know what I would have done without you.’

‘I’ll always be here for you. Anytime you need me, just give me a call.’

‘I will.’

‘I’ll see you later, Helen. Make sure you get some sleep.’

‘Okay.’

Helen fell asleep as soon as Sam left, dreaming of Bucky.

A few hours later Sam came by to take her to visit Steve. It was a bit of a shock, seeing Steve all battered and bruised like that. What was even more jarring was the fact that he was unconscious. She had never really Steve like that and it was upsetting that he was lying here because of Bucky. She never thought that this would ever happen.

‘I can’t believe that this happened.’ She voiced.

‘Steve will be okay, Helen.’ Sam said gently, patting her shoulder in a reassuring manner.

‘I know. I just never thought I’d see the day where Bucky put Steve in the hospital.’

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s okay. It’s not your fault.’

‘I know. I’m just sorry that this has happened to you.’

‘I know.’

‘It’s going to be okay, Helen. Everything will work out in the end.’

‘Will it?’

‘Of course it will.’

‘I don’t know. It seems impossible.’

‘Hey, we just took down three large Helicarriers. I think we can achieve the impossible just fine.’

‘I guess so.’

‘He loves you. I’ve only really seen him twice but when I saw the way he looked at you I knew that he truly loves you.’

‘I know he does.’

‘You shouldn’t give up on him.’

‘Who says I am?’

‘The look in your eyes says otherwise.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re acting like you’re never going to see him again.’

‘Maybe I won’t.’

‘He always came back to you before, didn’t he?’

‘He did.’

‘Then why would he stop now?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘He loves you, Helen. He absolutely adores you. Even as the Winter Soldier he looked at you like you were his whole world.’

‘I know but HYDRA might not give him a choice.’

‘That didn’t stop him before.’

‘No, I guess it didn’t.’

‘Then what’s holding you back?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘I don’t know if I can handle it all.’

‘Handle what?’

‘Seeing Bucky’s face when he doesn’t remember anything.’

‘Who says he doesn’t?’

‘I know he doesn’t.’

‘He seems to know you.’

‘All he remembers about me is that he loved me before. He doesn’t remember anything else, not even his own name.’

‘Maybe he’ll remember more.’

‘I don’t know if he will. I have no idea what HYDRA did to him to make him forget. I don’t know if it’s even reversible.’

‘If anyone can reverse it then it’s you.’

‘How?’

‘With the power of love.’

‘Huh. I guess you’re right.’

‘See, all is not lost.’

‘That was a little cheesy.’

‘It made you smile.’

‘It did.’

‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

‘Yeah, I really think it is.’

That night Helen got a good night’s sleep for the first time in ages because she knew that everything was going to turn out okay.


	34. Floods Of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After saving Steve and Helen from dying on the Helicarrier Bucky visits the Smithsonian to get answers. While there he gets floods of memories about his relationship with Helen and remembers that they are engaged.

* * *

After tending to all of his injuries the Asset, no Zorro, threw away all of his tactical gear and dressed in civilian clothes. He placed a baseball cap on his head and headed to the Smithsonian for answers. If he was really a friend of Captain America’s then he would surely be featured in the display.

  
As he walked along the road his thoughts drifted to his dorogaya, his Helen. He hoped that she was okay and hadn’t died from her injury. He couldn’t live with himself if she died. He couldn’t lose her, not again. He didn’t know exactly when he would go and see her again. He didn’t want to visit her if she was still in the hospital. He didn’t want to be seen by a lot of people, especially by her friends. So he’d just have to wait until she got home. He’d visit her then and then they’d be together forever.

He continued walking to the Smithsonian and growled at anyone who got too close to him. All he wanted was to be left alone until he saw his love again. Was that too much to ask? Were people so rude that they couldn’t keep their distance? Were the streets not big enough for everyone?

He thought about what Helen said about the blond man, Captain America. Could he really be her friend? He was sure that Helen would never lie to him so maybe he really was her friend. But then why did she looked so upset when she was in his arms? Surely if they were friends then she would be happy to be close to him. What had he done to make her so distressed? Had he hurt her, tortured her into submission? If he had then Zorro would kill him on the spot. Nobody hurt his dorogaya, not on his watch.

He made it to the entrance of the Smithsonian a few minutes later and after a moment of hesitation he walked right in. He had no idea where he was going so he just followed the enthusiastic kid that was dressed up as Captain America.

He walked over to a display that held the uniforms of Captain America’s unit, the Howling Commandos. The name seemed familiar to him so he moved to get a closer look at it. The blue uniform near the middle looked very familiar and he didn’t know why. Did it used to belong to him? A glance up at the painted mural above the uniforms cleared it up a little bit. He saw a dark haired man wearing the blue uniform and this man looked an awful lot like him. In fact apart from the short hair they could be twins. Was this really him? And if it was, why didn’t he remember being this man?

He moved to the next display, making sure to keep his head now. He didn’t want anyone recognising him. He was technically on the run and he didn’t want to go back to HYDRA. And he didn’t want to go to jail. So he had to make sure that he remained hidden. He couldn’t let Helen down now. He had promised her that they’d be together and he had no intention of breaking that promise. He couldn’t live without her.

He saw a display about Captain America’s childhood and he read all about how he was a sickly child and wasn’t expected to live to adulthood. He defied all the odds and made it though he was plagued with various ailments throughout his life until he received the super soldier serum. In the back of his mind he had a vision of himself tending to a sickly little blond man. Could that be a memory? Was he really friends with Captain America? But then why would someone as good as Captain America be friends with a monster like him? Surely they would be enemies if they had met before. Zorro was a cold blooded murderer and Captain America was a hero, a national icon. In what world would the two of them be friends? It just wasn’t possible.

His eyes trailed over Captain America’s real name. Steve Rogers. That name was so familiar. Why was it so familiar? Could he really know him?

A flash of memories assaulted him and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

He was standing outside an apartment door with a small blond man that looked a lot like Captain America. He was wearing clothes that he didn’t remember wearing. As far as he knew he had never wore a suit in his life.

‘We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It’ll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash.’ He was saying. ‘Come on.’

‘Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own.’

‘The thing is, you don’t have to. I’m with you until the end of the line, pal.’

Zorro gasped. There was that name again. Buck. Why did everyone insist on calling him Bucky? That wasn’t his name. He would have remembered if he had such a unique and strange name like that. And that phrase: until the end of the line. Why did it make his head hurt so much and why was it so familiar? What was the significance of it?

He moved on and found a display that commemorated the life of Bucky Barnes. Could that be his name? Was he really Helen’s fiancé?

‘Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.’ A voice echoed.

Zorro reeled back in shock. If he really was Bucky Barnes then Steve Rogers, Captain America, was his best friend. And he had nearly killed him. If he was Bucky Barnes then he had almost murdered his best friend in cold blood. God, he was such a monster. How could Helen stand to be around him? How could an angel like her love a monster like him? She was too good for him. He didn’t deserve her.

‘You are good enough for me, Zorro.’ Helen’s voice echoed in his head.

‘Oh, lyubov moya, you are too good for me.’

‘No, I’m not. We’re meant to be together.’

Oh, he loved her so much. She didn’t judge him for what he had done and instead saw him for who he really was. She was the most amazing person he had ever met. There really was no one else like her.

And then suddenly he had an image of himself holding a bouquet of several different flowers and handing it to Helen.

‘Hey, Bucky! You’re back!’

‘Hey, doll.’

‘Where have you been all day?’

‘Uh, well, I’ve been to the shops.’

‘The shops? What did you buy?’

‘I, uh, actually bought something for you.’

‘For me?’

‘Yeah, doll, for you. I’ve been wanting to tell you something for ages so I, um, I got you flowers.’

‘Bucky, thank you. This is so sweet. And they’re beautiful, oh god.’

‘Just like you, doll.’

‘You are just the sweetest.’

The memory ended with them hugging.

A few seconds later he was assaulted by another memory. This time Helen was the one giving him flowers.

‘Hey, doll. What are you doing? Is something wrong?’

‘No, nothing’s wrong. Everything’s actually the opposite of wrong, it’s just perfect.’

‘Perfect, huh? Care to share what makes it so?’

Helen handed him the bouquet.

‘You got me flowers?’

‘I did and I know that girls don’t really get boys flowers but I wanted to do this for you. I hope that’s okay.’

‘It’s more than okay, doll. I can’t believe you did this. It’s so sweet of you. Thanks, darlin’.’

‘You like them?’

‘Yeah, I do. They’re beau...’

He stopped talking and examined the flowers and then looked back up at Helen with an excited expression on his face.

‘Do you really mean it?’

He swept her up into a tight hug when she nodded.

‘Oh, doll. I can’t believe it. Oh, you’re so beautiful.’

He hugged her tightly once more before loosening his grip on her.

‘So, uh, you wanna go dancing tomorrow night?’

‘I’d love to.’

He smiled brightly before hugging her again.

Another memory entered his brain. He and Helen were at a dance hall. He was dressed in a fancy button up shirt and black slacks and Helen was wearing a pretty red dress.

‘May I have this dance?’ He asked.

‘You may.’

Soon, they were in each other’s arms and dancing along to the music.

‘This is nice.’ Helen said.

‘Yeah, it is.’

They danced together the whole night, content to be in each other’s arms. And he remembered feeling so happy, he knew that they were meant to be together in that moment.

After their date he walked Helen back to her room.

‘I had a really good time, Bucky.’

‘So did I.’

‘We’ll do this again soon, right?’

‘You bet, sweet thing.’

‘Goodnight, Bucky.’

‘Goodnight, Helen.’

Helen leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek before heading off into her room. He remembered smiling like a loon because she had kissed him. It made him feel all giddy inside.

The next memory that came to him was one that made him all tingly inside. It was of their first kiss. They were walking along the streets together when they suddenly stopped.

‘I enjoyed it too. It was romantic but it wasn’t too much. The songs were quite good as well. It was even better watching it with you, of course.’

‘I know. I really liked cuddling with you. It made the movie even more romantic.’

‘It did. And being in your arms made me feel safe because I know you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me.’

‘I will never let anything hurt you, doll. You’ll always be safe with me, I promise. I’ll always be there for you. Whenever you need me.’

‘I know. My knight in shining armour, my hero. You always protect the people you care about and that’s one of the things I like about you. The way you look out for Steve is just so sweet, Bucky.’

‘Well, he’s my best friend and he’s useless at taking care of himself so someone’s gotta do it. S’no big deal, love.’

‘It is to me, Bucky. You don’t have to do all those things for Steve but you do it anyway. Because you care and you’re such a good person.’

‘Doll, you’re gonna make me cry and I don’t wanna be caught crying in public. People’ll think I’m crazy.’

‘Well, they can think what they want to. It doesn’t matter what they think anyway. We know the truth.’

‘And what is the truth, doll?’

‘That you’re crying because you have such a big heart. You feel things more than others because you’re so kind and thoughtful. They can’t understand that you’re not crying because you’re weak but because you feel so much and you can’t hold it in anymore. My words have made your heart burst so you have to cry because you need to let it out.’

‘Well, I’m certainly crying now, doll. You really think all that about me?’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘It’s funny you see me that way, doll, because that’s exactly the way I see you.’

‘Huh. Well, I guess we’re on the same page then.’

‘Yeah, I guess we are.’

‘I hope you know how much you mean to me, darling.’

‘I think I do. And you should know how much you mean to me.’

‘I do. But I’m serious, Bucky. I’ve never felt like this in my life.’

As soon as she said this he closed the gap between them and kissed her sweetly. It was the best first kiss that he had ever had.

‘Wow.’ He said after they broke apart.

‘Yeah.’

‘That was amazing, doll. I can’t believe how good that was. It felt like heaven. I swear that kiss was what heaven feels like.’

Some of the memory was a little fuzzy so he didn’t know what she said after that. The next thing he remembered her saying was very sweet though.

‘No, you didn’t embarrass me. Our first kiss isn’t something to be embarrassed about and the way you described it was exactly right. It did feel like heaven. It felt magical. Surreal.’

‘Yeah, it did. You’re right, doll. If magic is real then I’m sure it would be exactly like our first kiss.’

‘Mm. I guess we’ll never know if either are real. Magic or heaven. I think you don’t really find out until you die, y’know.’

‘Hey, none of that. No talking about death. This is just the beginning for us and it’ll be a long time until it’s the end for us.’

‘I’ll hold you to that promise, Bucky Barnes.’

‘And I swear to you that I’ll do everything in my power not to break that promise, Helen Evans.’

The memory ended with him kissing her again.

The next memory made his heart beat fast in his chest. The two of them were at the dance hall again and Helen was wearing the most beautiful black dress. They were slow dancing when he said something.

‘I love you.’

‘What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.’

‘I love you.’

‘You mean that?’

‘I do. I love you so much, doll.’

‘I love you too.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. I love you, Bucky.’

‘I love you too, Helen.’

Their lips met in a loving and passionate kiss and that was all he remembered.

Flashes of memories assaulted him. He remembered going to the Expo with her and Steve the night before he shipped out for war. He remembered how they made love for the first time that night and how sweet and passionate it was. He remembered the morning he left how he gave her his dog tags and how she gave him his mother’s locket in return, the locket that he was wearing right now. He remembered being captured by HYDRA but getting saved and then reuniting with Helen. He remembered the night he proposed.

He had filled a grassy area with flowers and danced with her under the moonlight. After they had finished he asked her to have a look at the flowers and while her back was turned he pulled the ring out of his pocket and waited.

‘Oh Bucky, darling, this is wonderful. Lilies and forget me nots, they’re my favourites. And myrtles, so beautiful.’

‘Just like you, doll. You wanna turn around for me?’

‘Why? What am I looking at no-?’

He remembered her gasping when she saw him down on one knee.

‘Oh Bucky.’

He smiled at her and opened the ring box.

‘Doll, I love you. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you. You’re my whole world. Everything I do I do it for you, to make you happy. Because you’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could be and I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t make you just as happy. When I’m with you nothing else matters and I’d go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. You’re my everything, my soulmate, my love. I want forever with you and I’d do anything to make that happen. So, I ask you, Helen Evans, will you do me the honour of marrying me?’

He remembered the tears running down her face but she was also smiling.

‘Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.’

He put the ring on her finger and they shared their first kiss as an engaged couple.

He was Bucky Barnes. He was Helen’s fiancé. He was the only person she had ever loved. It was him all along. He had to find her and tell her that he remembered their relationship. But would she still want him after all this time?

Then he remembered something she had said the morning he had shipped out.  
  


  
‘I’ll wait for you, Bucky Barnes, even if I have to wait forever.’

She would still want him, he thought. She said she’d wait forever and she would never lie to him. Besides she had told him that she still loved him even when he was dead. She wouldn’t stop now. He had to go to her. He had promised that they’d spend the rest of their lives together and he had no intention of breaking that promise.


	35. A Midnight Intruder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky breaks into Helen’s apartment and convinces her that he remembers their relationship.

* * *

While Bucky was remembering his old life at the Smithsonian Helen was sound asleep in her bed. She was dreaming that she and Bucky were together again and there was no HYDRA stopping them from being together. They were so happy because they finally had the life they had always wanted together. Helen sighed longingly in her sleep. She wished more than anything that her dream was real but she knew it wasn’t that easy. HYDRA was still here and she knew that they wouldn’t go down without a fight.

She rolled over and sighed Bucky’s name. She wished he was here with her right now. She would do anything for him to be sleeping next to her at this very moment. But she knew that it was unlikely to happen. Bucky was probably miles away, either on the run or under HYDRA’s thumb again. He wouldn’t be with her tonight. Little did she know that Bucky was a lot closer than she thought he was.

The brunette was currently standing outside her apartment building, trying to decide if he was going to go in. He didn’t actually know if she was in right now and he didn’t want to break into her apartment if she wasn’t there. But he couldn’t risk going to the hospital to see if she was there because there was too many people there and he didn’t want to get caught. So he’d have to break into Helen’s apartment. The risk was worth it if she was there and if she wasn’t then it didn’t really matter. As long as her friend wasn’t there then it would be okay. He had to see her. He needed to tell her that he remembered the life they had together.

He climbed up the fire escape and stopped at the window of her apartment. Truthfully he had no idea what he was going to say to her. He didn’t know if she’d believe him. He just had to hope that she was willing to continue their relationship no matter what.

He yanked open her window and crawled through it. He slowly walked through the darkened apartment, searching for Helen.He saw an open door and peered through it. What he saw inside made his heart soar.

Helen was asleep in the bed, looking so peaceful and content. She was alright. She hadn’t died from the gunshot wound. She was okay.

He entered the room as quietly as he could. He didn’t want to wake her. She needed the rest after all. Reaching her bed he carefully sat down beside her and stroked her hair lovingly. She was here. She was alive. She wasn’t dead like he thought she was. They were together again.

‘Bucky...’ She murmured in her sleep.

Bucky’s heart soared with happiness. She was thinking about him. Even when she wasn’t awake she was thinking about him. She really did love him.

‘I love you. I love you so much, lyubimaya. When you wake up we will run away together. We’ll never be apart again, I promise you. We’ll have that forever that we always talked about.’

He kissed her forehead lovingly and continued to stroke her hair. He would never leave her again. They’d be together forever and they’d get married and have lots of babies together. He loved her more than life itself. Whatever she wanted she would get, even if it meant her sending him away. It would kill him but he’d do it for her. He’d do anything to make her happy.

Helen sighed in her sleep and grabbed onto his arm.

‘Bucky... don’t ever leave me.’

‘I won’t. I’ll stay with you forever if that’s what you want.’

‘Mmm. Love you.’

‘I love you too. I love you so very much.’

Helen smiled and grabbed his arm more tightly.

‘Wake up, Solnyshko.’

‘Bucky...’

‘Yes, it’s me. I’m here.’

‘Love you, Bucky.’

‘I love you too, Helen.’

‘Need you.’

‘Open your eyes, kiska. I’m right here.’

‘Bucky... come back.’

‘I am back. I’m right here beside you, zolotse. All you gotta do is open your eyes and then you’ll see me.’

Helen groaned and slowly opened her eyes. When her gaze landed on Bucky her eyes widened in shock.

‘Bucky?!’

‘Yes, it’s me.’

‘You’re here. You’re really here.’

‘You really think I’d leave you?’

‘I hoped you wouldn’t.’

‘I’m here, dorogaya. And I’m never going to leave you again.’

‘Promise?’

‘Cross my heart.’

‘How did you get in?’

‘Through the window.’

‘Oh.’

‘How are you, dorogusha? Is your wound okay?’

‘Everything’s fine. It’s a little tender but I’ll live.’

‘Thank god. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

‘Me neither.’

‘I want to run away with you, lyubov moya.’

‘I want that too.’

‘Then let’s do it.’

‘In the morning. I’m still pretty tired.

‘Whatever you want, solnyshko.’

‘Where did you go after the Helicarrier crashed?’

‘To the Smithsonian.’

‘Why?’

‘To see the exhibit on Bucky Barnes.’

‘And?’

‘I remember everything.’

‘Really?’

‘Well, everything about our relationship.’

‘Prove it.’

‘You gave me a locket that belonged to your mother the morning I shipped out for war.’

‘What did it look like?’

‘It was gold and round. It was rather small. It had a lily on it with emerald stones on the flower petals.’

‘Do you have it with you?’

He pulled the locket from under his jacket and showed it to her.

‘Okay. What did you give me the morning you shipped out?’

‘My dog tags.’

‘Why? What was the reason?’

‘I told you that soldiers would give them to the girls they love. I said I was giving you my spare set in hope that this little part of me would give you comfort while I was away and sealed my promise of coming back to you.’

‘How do I know that you really remember?’

‘Isn’t what I just told you enough?’

‘I don’t want to get my hopes up.’

‘Kukolka, please. I’m telling you the truth.’

‘Kukolka? You’ve never called me that before. What does it mean?’

‘Babydoll. It means babydoll.’

Tears spilled out of Helen’s eyes and Bucky moved forward in concern.

‘Zolotse, are you okay? Was it some thing I said? I’m sorry if I-’

His rambling was cut off by a pair of warm lips descending onto his. He eagerly returned the kiss, relishing in the feeling of her again.

‘What was that for?’ He asked after she broke the kiss.

‘You remember. You really do remember.’

‘I do, lyubov.’

‘Call me babydoll. _Please_.’

‘Babydoll. _Babydoll_. I love you so much, babydoll.’

‘I love you too, Bucky. So very much.’

‘Can I kiss you again?’

‘Yes.’

Bucky grinned before kissing her passionately. He pulled her closer and kissed her deeper. His tongue licked her lips, asking for entry. She opened her mouth and he swirled his tongue around hers.

He pulled back when she whimpered.

‘What? What is it? Did I hurt you?’

‘No, I’m just a little sensitive. My injury hasn’t quite healed yet.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. It’s not your fault.’

‘I should have been paying attention.’

‘You didn’t know.’

‘I should have.’

‘Stop that. You can’t blame yourself. I knew the risks and I still went.’

‘Why did you go?’

‘To stop HYDRA. But mostly to set you free from them.’

‘You went for me?’

‘Yes. I couldn’t let them have control of you any longer.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Stop saying that. I’m fine.’

‘Are you?’

‘Yes. The doctors say I’ll make a full recovery.’

‘But you’re in pain.’

‘I’m not. I’m just a little tender.’

‘I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘You won’t.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. Kiss me again.’

Bucky did so and groaned when she pulled him on top of her. She was really testing his resolve. He didn’t want to hurt her. She was recovering from a gunshot wound. He didn’t want to derail the progress that she had made.

But all those thoughts went out the window when Helen threw back the covers to reveal that she was only wearing a very thin white nightgown.

‘Solnyshko, you’re killing me here.’

‘How?’

‘You’re making it very hard to resist.’

‘Resist what?’

‘Ravishing you.’

‘Would it be so terrible to give in?’

‘No, it wouldn’t. I just don’t want to hurt you.’

‘You won’t.’

‘But you’re injured.’

‘I’m fine. I just need to take it easy for a few weeks.’

‘I don’t think having sex is taking it easy.’

‘Maybe not but who says it has to be strenuous?’

‘Most people.’

‘You could be very gentle. Just like you were during our very first time.’

‘I can do that. Are you sure about this, babydoll?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay. Come here then.’

Helen did so and as soon as she was close enough he grabbed the hem of her nightgown and took it off of her. He threw it across the room and gazed at her naked body.

‘Oh, lyubov moya, you are so beautiful.’

‘Touch me, Bucky. _Please_.’

‘Shh, lyubimaya. Just relax. I’ll take care of you, I promise.’

‘Okay.’

‘Lie back, Solnyshko.’

Helen nodded and slowly lay back against her pillows. Her breath hitched in her throat when she saw the way Bucky was looking at her. He looked like he wanted to eat her alive and her whole body tingled in anticipation at what was to come.

‘Bucky...’

‘What is it, lyubov moya?’

‘You’ve still got all of your clothes on.’

‘Oh, right. I don’t know how that happened. I want to be inside you as soon as possible.’

‘Mmm. That sounds good. Have you got protection?’

‘Yeah. I always carry some around now.’

‘Wow.’

‘You ready for me, babydoll?’

‘Yes.’

‘Let me just get undressed and then I’ll make you feel so good.’

‘Hurry.’

‘Your wish is my command.’

Bucky hastily stripped out of his clothes until he was only in his boxers. He then crawled up the bed and stopped when he reached Helen’s legs.

‘Spread your legs for me, zaika.’

Helen did so and Bucky wasted no time in putting his face between themand started licking at her dripping sex.

‘Oh, god. _Bucky_!’

‘That’s it, doll. You just relax and let me make you feel good.’

‘Ooh!’

Bucky hummed and continued licking her core in earnest. She tasted so sweet. He couldn’t get enough of her. He was addicted to her. After a few expert licks she found her release and he eagerly lapped it up.

‘Oh, Bucky. That was so good.’

‘Mm. It was.’

‘Can you- can you get inside me now?’

‘Of course, lyubimaya. Anything you want.’

‘Bucky, please. Make love to me.’

‘With pleasure, zaika.’

Bucky pulled off his boxers, put the condom on his aching member and gently pushed inside of her. When she gave him the go ahead he slowly began thrusting into her, making sure that he didn’t go too fast or rough.

A few minutes later they both found their releases.

‘I love you so much.’ Bucky said after he had cleaned them up.

‘I love you too.’

‘I’ll never leave you again, I promise.’

‘I know you won’t.’

‘We’ll have the life we always talked about together.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. We’ll get married and then have lots of babies together.’

‘They’ll be so beautiful.’

‘Of course they will. They’ll have you as a mother.’

‘And you as a father. Our babies will be the prettiest babies ever.’

‘And they’ll be so loved.’

‘Yeah, they will be.’

‘Will you stay with me tonight?’

‘Of course, babydoll. I told you I’m never leaving you again.’

‘Okay.’

‘Come here, love.’

Helen snuggled into Bucky’s arms and they both fell asleep right away. This was the first time that they had slept in the same bed since the 40s and they cherished every moment of it.


	36. Running Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen and Bucky prepare to run away together for Bucky’s safety though Helen has some reservations about the whole thing.

* * *

The next morning Helen and Bucky woke up in each other’s arms and both couldn’t be happier. They hadn’t slept this good in years and they knew it was because they had spent the night in each other’s arms. Neither of them had been this content in forever and they would cherish it for as long as they could.

Because they knew that very soon they wouldn’t be able to escape real life. They’d have to face reality sooner or later. The reality that meant that they had to go on the run to be together. The reality that they’d never be safe because Bucky wouldn’t be able to escape from his past as the Winter Soldier. Sooner or later HYDRA would come looking for Bucky and if HYDRA didn’t then the US Government would. Although Bucky was brainwashed he still committed many assassinations and the government might not accept the excuse that Bucky had been brainwashed. It would be a long time before they’d be able to have a peaceful life.

Neither one of them cared though. As long as they got to be together nothing else mattered. No matter how hard things got as long as they had each other they’d be alright. All they wanted was each other and they’d run to the ends of the earth just to stay together.

Her phone buzzing broke Helen out of her thoughts and she grabbed it from the bedside table. She looked at it and saw that it was a message from Sam.

‘Steve’s awake. He’s asking to see you.’ It read.

‘I’ll be there in half an hour.’ She sent back.

‘Okay. See you then :)’ Sam responded a minute later.

‘See you soon :)’

Helen placed her phone back onto the bedside table and turned to face Bucky who was still sleeping soundly.

‘Bucky. Bucky, wake up.’

Bucky groaned but stayed asleep.

‘Bucky. Darling, wake up.’

When Bucky didn’t open his eyes Helen decided to use a different tactic. She gently kissed his cheek and repeated the motion until she reached his lips. Caressing his jaw she placed her lips on his in a soft kiss. Bucky moaned into it and kissed her back.

‘That was a nice wake up call.’ He said after they broke apart.

‘Well, you wouldn’t wake up so I had no choice.’

‘Mmm. Feel free to wake me up like that every morning.’

‘Maybe I will.’

‘I’ll hold you to that. Now come here and kiss me again.’

Helen smiled before connecting their lips once more. She let herself get lost in it for a few minutes, savouring having Bucky close like this. But she did have to go and visit Steve so she broke the kiss. Unfortunately Bucky didn’t seem deterred by this and switched to kissing her neck.

‘Bucky...’

‘Mm. Just relax, lyubimaya.’

‘Bucky, stop.’

‘Don’t wanna.’

‘Bucky, please...’

Bucky only hummed and continued to suck on her neck.

Helen sighed before pushing him off. He groaned in discontent and tried to get close to her again.

‘Bucky, no!’

‘Why are you pushing me away?’

‘Bucky, we don’t have time for this.’

‘Yes, we do. We’ve got all day.’

‘No, we don’t.’

‘Yes, we do. Why are you saying that we don’t? Do you not want me anymore?’

‘Bucky, don’t be ridiculous. Of course I still want you.’

‘Then why are you pushing me away?’

‘I got a message from Sam.’

‘Who’s Sam?’

‘One of my friends. The black guy who wears the metal wings.’

‘Oh, him.’

‘Yes, him. What’s so terrible about that?’

‘Why is this guy messaging you?’

‘Because he’s my friend.’

‘Why is he so important that he interrupted our time together?’

‘Sam messaged saying that Steve has woken up.’

‘And?’

‘He says Steve wants to see me.’

‘Can’t you just see him later?’

‘If I do that then they’ll get suspicious.’

‘Then let them.’

‘No, Bucky, you don’t get it. If I don’t go now then Sam will come here and then he’ll see you.’

‘Is that a bad thing?’

‘Well, are you ready for Steve to know exactly where you are?’

‘No, I’m not.’

‘Then it’s better if I go now.’

‘Just don’t be too long.’

‘I won’t.’

‘Love you so much.’

‘Love you too.’

Helen arrived at the hospital ten minutes later and went straight to Steve’s room. The blond was sitting up in bed when she got there.

‘Helen!’ He called out with a big smile on his face.

‘Hey, Steve.’ She greeted, returning the smile.

‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too, buddy.’

‘How are you? Are you feeling better?’

‘Yeah. I can’t even feel my injury now.’

‘That’s good. When Sam told me what happened I was so scared.’

‘Well, hopefully I’ve put your mind at ease now.’

‘Yeah. I’m really glad you’re okay.’

‘I’m glad you’re okay too, Steve. When are you getting out?’

‘In a few days.’

‘That’s good.’

‘Yeah. I can’t wait to get out of this bed.’

‘You were shot several times, Steve. Don’t get ahead of yourself.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Yeah, well, you may feel fine but if the doctors say you aren’t then you’ve got to listen to them.’

‘But I hate being here.’

‘Stop whining, Steve. You’ll be getting out soon.’

‘Not soon enough.’

‘You’re being a big baby, Steve. It’s not that bad.’

‘Easy for you to say. You’ve gotten out already.’

‘It’s not that bad.’ She repeated.

‘I just want to be out.’

‘Relax, Steve. You’re getting out in a few days.’

‘But I want out now.’

‘You’re being whiny again.’

‘I am not.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘Can we talk about something else?’

‘Fine. Has Tony been in to see you?’

‘Yeah, he left just before you came here.’

‘Ah, that’s why you’re in a mood.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re in a bad mood because your boyfriend had to go.’

‘I am not.’

‘It’s okay, Steve. Everyone gets grumpy when they have to be apart from the person they love.’

‘You don’t seem grumpy.’

‘Maybe I am.’

‘Yeah, right.’

‘Maybe I am grumpy but you didn’t notice because you’re in too much of a strop.’

‘I’m not in a strop.’

‘It’s okay if you are, Steve. It’s been a rough few days.’

‘Yeah, it has.’

‘What are you going to do after you get out?’

‘I don’t know both HYDRA and Bucky are still out there. I don’t know which one to handle first.’

‘Bucky will be fine on his own, Steve.’

‘I know I just want to find him.’

‘I know you do but I think taking down HYDRA is more important.’

‘Yeah, I know. I just can’t stand the thought of Bucky being out there all alone.’

‘Bucky will come to you when he’s ready, Steve.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘I just do. I don’t think that Bucky has all of his memories yet and that’s stopping him from coming back to us.’

‘I guess I don’t know what to do.’

‘You will, Steve. You always do.’

‘You have too much faith in me.’

‘No, I don’t. I just know that you can do this. You took down HYDRA once before. You can do it again.’

‘Maybe. I just hope that I can save Bucky this time.’

‘You don’t have to save him, Steve. Bucky is alive. He’s okay. You don’t need to do anything.’

‘Yes, I do. He’s my friend.’

‘No, you don’t. All you can do is support him once he comes back. All you can do is be a friend.’

‘I guess so.’

‘Everything is going to work out okay, Steve.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because I have to believe that it will.’

‘Maybe.’

‘You were the one who told me that it would all work out with Bucky. You said that we’d be reunited one day because we were meant to be together. Do you not believe that anymore?’

‘Of course I do. I’m just afraid that I’ll let you down.’

‘You could never let me down, Steve.’

‘I already have.’

‘Steve, what are you taking about?’

‘I let you down before. If I had stopped Bucky from falling from the train then maybe he’d have gone down in the ice with me. And then you two would have been together sooner.’

‘Steve, I don’t care how long it took for me and Bucky to be reunited. All that matters to me is the fact that we can be together now.’

‘But Bucky isn’t even here.’

‘No but he will be. He can’t stay away too long.’

‘You’re right. He loves you too much to stay away.’

‘Yeah. So it doesn’t matter that you didn’t save Bucky that day because Bucky is alive right now. You didn’t let him or me down.’

‘I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that you two stay together. I won’t let anything or anyone keep you apart.’

‘Thanks, Steve.’

‘I’ll let you get going.’

‘Okay. I’ll see you later, Steve.’

‘See you.’

  
As Helen left Steve’s hospital room she couldn’t stop tears from falling down her face. She hated that she had to lie to Steve. He was such a good friend and he didn’t deserve this. But Bucky wasn’t ready for Steve to know where he is and she had to respect his wishes. Steve may be her best friend but Bucky was the love of her life and she had to put him first. She just hoped that her feelings of guilt wouldn’t eat her alive. She had to do this for Bucky and she knew that it was the right thing for her to do. But she couldn’t help but feel bad for Steve. He was not only her best friend but Bucky’s too and he didn’t deserve to be lied to like this. He was so supportive of them and he loved them so much. He didn’t deserve to be left in the dark. It was only the thought of Bucky’s betrayed and hurt face that stopped her from turning back and telling Steve everything. She couldn’t betray Bucky. He was the love of her life, her everything. She just wished that she wasn’t caught in the middle like this. Because it killed her to have to choose between Steve and Bucky like this. But she would do it. She hated every second of it but her love for Bucky gave her the motivation she needed to push through it. Bucky would do anything for her and she couldn’t betray his trust like this. Even if it meant hurting Steve. She just hoped that the blond would understand why she did it when he inevitably found out.

When Helen returned to her apartment Bucky was still in bed waiting for her. 

‘Hey, babydoll.’ He said, smiling wide when he saw her standing in the doorway.

‘Hey, honey.’

‘C’mere. I’ve been lonely without you.’

‘I missed you too.’

Helen climbed back into bed with Bucky and snuggled into his side. She smiled when she felt him gently kiss her forehead.

‘How was it?’ He asked.

‘It was okay.’

‘Did you tell him about me being here?’

‘No, of course not. You’re not ready, Bucky.’

‘I’m sorry that I made you lie to him.’

‘You didn’t make me do anything. If you don’t want Steve to know then I won’t say anything to him.’

‘I love you so much.’

‘I love you too. More than anything.’

‘Where are we going to go when Steve gets out of hospital?’

‘We can go anywhere you want.’

‘You don’t have to come with me, you know. If you want to stay here then you can.’

‘Stop that. I don’t want to be anywhere that you’re not. We’re in this together, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘You know, if you want a safe place to hide out, I know somewhere we can go.’

‘Where is it?’

‘Before I tell you there’s something you need to know.’

‘You’re pregnant?’ He asked hopefully.

‘No.’

‘Oh.’

‘Hey, it’s okay. One day I will be.’

Bucky smiled goofily. ‘Yeah. I can’t wait.’

‘Me neither.’

‘So, what do you need to tell me?’

‘I’m a witch.’

‘Lyubimaya, that’s a horrible thing to say about yourself.’

Helen chuckled. ‘No, that’s not what I mean.’

‘Then what do you mean?’

‘Do you believe in magic?’ She asked.

‘I guess I never really thought about it before.’

‘Well, would you believe me if I told you that magic was real?’

‘You know I’d believe you, sweetheart.’

‘Magic is real, Bucky.’

‘I believe you.’

‘I know you do.’

‘Why are you telling me that magic is real?’

‘Because I have magic.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I was born with magical powers.’

‘So when you said you were a witch, you meant it literally?’

‘Yes.’

‘How does it work?’

‘I have a wand. It’s made of wood and has a specific core in it. We use it to perform magic.’

‘Is that what that wooden stick was?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I was wondering why you would carry a stick around.’

‘Yeah, it’s really important. It’s kind of like a gun. You use it to attack and stuff.’

‘Can your magic kill people?’

‘If you use dark magic then yes.’

‘Wow.’

‘I know it’s a lot to take in.’

‘It’s fine, Solnyshko. I believe you.’

‘You don’t think I’m a freak?’

‘No, of course not. I love you more than anything in this world. I don’t care if you have magic. You’re still the same Helen that I fell in love with.’

‘Oh, Bucky...’

‘Can you tell me more about it?’

‘What do you want to know?’

‘Are your friends magical?’

‘All my friends back home are.’

‘What about your parents?’

‘They were as well.’

‘How does it work? How can some people be born with magic and other people are born without it?’

‘It’s mostly genetics. If your parents have magic then it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll have magic too. Of course there are exceptions.’

‘Like what?’

‘Some people born with magic have non magical parents. They’re called Muggleborn because they come from a completely Muggle family.’

‘What’s a Muggle?’

‘Someone born without magic.’

‘Like me?’

‘Yeah but I still love you regardless.’

‘I’m glad. I can’t live without you, solnyshko.’

  
‘I can’t live without you either, honey.’

‘So, what were your parents?’

‘My father was a pureblood. That means he comes from a purely magical family.’

‘And your mother?’

‘She was Muggleborn. Her parents and sister were Muggles.’

‘What does that make you? If your father is a pureblood and your mother is a Muggleborn then what are you?’

‘I’m a halfblood. It means that I have mixed magical and Muggle heritage. A halfblood can be someone born of a wizard and a Muggle or have a parent who is Muggleborn. They can also have two halfblood parents. Or, a halfblood mother and a Muggle father.’

‘So, are kids will be called halfbloods then?’

‘Yes.’

‘Will all of them be magical?’

‘Probably. The magic gene is dominant though one of them could be born without magic.’

‘Where would they learn magic?’

‘At the same school I did. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.’

‘Is it in England?’

‘Scotland, actually.’

‘And all British witches and wizards go there?’

‘Yes.’

‘Is there a school in America?’

‘There is but I’d prefer it if our kids went to Hogwarts.’

‘Whatever you want, lyubimaya.’

‘You’re really okay with me being a witch?’

‘Yes.’

‘And you’re okay with our kids having magic?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I’m sure.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, really. As long as you’re okay with me being a brainwashed assassin?’

‘I am.’

‘Really? You’re okay with the fact that I’ve killed a lot of people?’

‘Yes. They had you brainwashed, Bucky. You wouldn’t have done any of it if you had been in your right mind.’

‘God, you’re amazing. I love you so much.’

‘I love you too. So much.’

Bucky kissed her with so much love that it took her breath away. She kissed back after a few seconds and they made out for a while.

‘You’re wearing too many clothes, zaika.’

‘Then take them off me.’

‘I thought you’d never ask.’

Bucky rolled her onto her back and stripped her of her jumper and bra. He immediately started playing with her nipples, sucking them and rolling them between his fingers. Helen moaned and gripped his long hair.

After a few minutes Bucky let go of her breasts and started kissing his way down her body. When he reached her jeans he unbuttoned them and pulled them off her legs. He licked his lips when he saw her just in her panties. She was absolutely irresistible.

He leaned down and nuzzled her covered pussy with his nose. He could smell her arousal and it only served to turn him on even more. He hooked his fingers in the waistband and tore them off her body. Once she was completely bare to him he inserted a finger into her and began pushing it in and out. Helen clenched tightly against him and he moaned at the sensations it caused.

‘Bucky... Bucky...’

‘What is it, kiska?’

‘Put your mouth on me.’

‘Yeah? You want my mouth on your sweet little pussy?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘Your wish is my command, doll.’

Bucky leaned down and licked a long thick stripe up Helen’s wet folds, relishing in her little moans. He continued to lick her enthusiastically and it wasn’t long before he was lapping up her sweet release.

‘God, you taste amazing. I can’t get enough of you.’

‘Right back at you.’

‘Will you put your mouth on me?’

‘If that’s what you want.’

‘You don’t have to.’

‘I know but I want to.’

‘Hurry up then.’

Helen had never been more glad that Bucky hadn’t bothered to get dressed. It made everything so much easier. Smiling seductively she gently grasped Bucky’s rock hard dick in her hand and started stroking him.

‘Babydoll, please. Get your mouth on me. I need it.’

‘Your wish is my command, baby.’

Helen slowly wrapped her lips around his hardened member and started sucking it hard. Bucky let out a broken moan and threw his head back in ecstasy.

‘Helen... dorogaya... you’re amazing. Don’t stop.’

Helen hummed and continued sucking as hard as she could. She swirled her tongue around the head a few times and this caused Bucky to spill his release into her mouth. She swallowed it all and then released his dick from her mouth.

‘Oh, _god_. Babydoll, that was amazing. Your mouth is like sin.’

‘So is yours.’

‘I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.’

‘Right back at you.’

‘Now, let me get inside of you and I’ll make you come again.’

‘Please.’

‘Do you know what you feel like around me? You feel like absolute heaven. It’s absolutely indescribable. There’s nothing like it. Being inside of you is one of the best feelings in the world.’

‘Then get inside me.’

‘With pleasure, babydoll.’

Bucky rolled over on his side and pulled out a condom from the beside drawer. He opened it and slowly rolled it onto his aching member.

‘You ready for me, lyubimaya?’

‘Yes.’

Bucky kissed her passionately before slowly pushing himself inside of her. Once he got the go ahead to move he gently rocked into her.

‘Babydoll, you feel so good.’

‘Bucky... don’t stop.’

‘I won’t. I won’t stop until you tell me.’

‘Can you go a little faster?’

‘Zaika, I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘You won’t.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay, love.’

Bucky thrust into her a little faster and they both moaned at the feeling of it. A few minutes later they both found their releases.

‘Babydoll, I love you so much.’ Bucky said after they had cleaned up.

‘I love you too, Bucky. I never stopped.’

‘Neither did I.’

‘I missed you so much.’

‘I missed you too, kiska. Now, what was that place you were going to tell me about?’

‘I want to take you to the magical world in Britain.’

‘Will I be allowed there?’

‘Yeah. I asked Kingsley and he’s arranged an apartment in Hogsmeade for us.’

‘Who’s Kingsley?’

‘The Minister for Magic. It’s our version of the president.’

‘Ah. And where’s Hogsmeade?’

‘It’s a little village in Scotland. It’s the only place in Britain that is completely magical. No Muggles can get in so we’ll be safe from HYDRA there.’

‘It sounds nice.’

‘Yeah. It’s always snowing in Hogsmeade. It looks like one of those Christmas cards.’

‘I think I’ll like it there.’

‘I hope you will.’

‘You’ll be able to teach me more about your world. I’m so excited.’

‘Yeah, me too.’

‘Where’s Hogwarts? I’d like to see what the school that our children will go to looks like. If I’m allowed to that is.’

‘You will be. I got special permission form Kingsley.’

‘How are you so close with the Minister anyway?’

‘We were in the Order together. Kingsley is a former Auror. He’s a really great guy.’

‘What’s the Order?’

‘The Order of the Phoenix. It’s an organisation that Dumbledore, my old headmaster, created to stop Voldemort.’

‘Who’s Voldemort?’

‘A very evil wizard who killed a lot of people. He’s like magical Hitler.’

‘Ah. Is he gone?’

‘He is. He is very much dead.’

‘That’s good. But, uh, what’s an Auror?’

‘It’s the magical version of a police officer.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yeah. It’s an amazing job.’

‘Really? How do you know?’

‘Because I used to be one.’

‘I always knew that you’d have a job like that.’

‘A job like what?’

‘A job where you can change the world.’

‘You really think a lot of me, huh?’

‘I think you’re the most amazing person in the world.’

‘Right back at you.’

‘I go wherever you go, solnyshko. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.’

‘I know. And I’ll do the same for you. I’ll follow you head first into danger if I have to. I’ll live the rest of my life on the run if I must. It will all be worth it if I get to spend forever with you.’

‘I promise you that we will spend forever together.’

‘I know. Nothing can stand in our way now.’

‘Yeah and if it does then we’ll get rid of all the obstacles.’

‘We will and it will all be worth it.’

‘Nothing could be worth more.’

‘Before I forget there’s something else that you should know.’

‘What is it?’

‘My last name isn’t actually Evans. It’s Potter.’

‘Helen Potter. It suits you, lyubov.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. But why did you say your last name was Evans?’

‘Because I didn’t want to be Helen Potter anymore.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’m famous in the wizarding world and for once I didn’t want to be Helen Potter.’

‘But nobody would have known that you were famous.’

‘I would. Besides the name has some bad memories. Fame is a fickle thing. It’s not always fun. Sometimes it’s downright awful. I guess I just wanted to escape from all of that.’

‘I get it. What are you famous for anyway?’

‘You remember I told you about Voldemort?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, I was the one who defeated him.’

‘Oh my god, you’re a hero.’

‘I guess you could say that.’

‘You guess? You must have saved hundreds of lives by stopping him.’

‘I did.’

‘Then you’re a hero.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do.’

‘Well, I’d rather be a hero in your eyes than a hero to a whole bunch of people.’

‘Mm. My brave, beautiful hero.’

‘God, I love you.’

‘I love you too. More than anything in this world.’

‘You mean everything to me.’

‘And you mean everything to me.’

‘Promise me that whatever happens we’ll face it together.’

‘I promise. I don’t ever want to be apart from you.’

‘Me neither.’

‘So, uh, where did the name Evans come from?’

‘It’s my mother’s maiden name.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah, it was nice to share something with her.’

‘One day we’ll have a little girl called Lily and she’ll be the most beautiful little girl in the world.’

‘As long as we have a son called James who is the most handsome little boy on the planet.’

‘Deal.’

‘We’ll get there one day, Bucky.’

‘I know. That’s the only thing that keeps me going. The thought of our future together.’

‘Yeah, it’ll all be worth it in the end.’

‘It will.’

‘So, you’re okay with going to Hogsmeade?’

‘Of course I am. I’ll go anywhere with you.’

‘Everything’s going to be okay, Bucky. I promise.’

‘I know. You’d never lie to me.’

‘I would never.’

‘We’ll start packing soon and then we’ll be able to sneak away tomorrow night.’

‘Sounds like a plan.’

‘To the start of our future.’

‘To our future.’


	37. The Shovel Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen and Bucky leave for the magical world in Britain. When they get there Bucky gets the shovel talk from Ron and Hermione.

* * *

A few hours later Helen and Bucky started packing everything that they’d need on their trip. Of course Bucky didn’t have much with him so it was mostly Helen’s stuff that they were packing. Helen didn’t want to take too much stuff since that would cause Steve to get suspicious. She wanted to make out as if she was just returning back home to visit her friends. If it looked like she had moved back there then Steve was going to ask questions and they couldn’t afford that right now.

‘How much clothes should I pack, zaika?’ Bucky asked.

‘Pack just over half of them. I can live without my whole wardrobe for a while.’

‘Okay, kiska.’

‘Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?’

‘Yes, I’m sure. I’m exited to meet all of your friends, Solnyshko.’

‘They’re going to love you.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, they will. They know how happy you make me and that’s all they’ve ever wanted for me. They’ll love you just for being the person who does all that.’

‘If you’re sure.’

‘I am.’

‘They don’t mind what I did as the Winter Soldier?’

‘No, they don’t. They know that you were brainwashed into doing it and they don’t judge you for it.’

‘Okay.’

‘Everything’s going to be fine, Bucky.’

‘I know.’

‘Very soon we’ll be married with little children running about.’

‘That sounds amazing. It’s the best kind of dream.’

‘It will come true one day.’

‘I know and I can’t wait for it to happen.’

‘Me neither.’

‘You want some food after this?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You want some meatloaf? I remember that it’s your favourite.’

‘If it’s not too much trouble for you to make.’

‘It’s not.’

‘Then I’d love some.’

‘Okay. We should be done soon.’

‘Yeah. How are you doing with the packing?’

‘I’m nearly finished.’

‘Me too.’

‘Doll, why don’t you go start on the meatloaf and I’ll finish packing.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. Go.’

‘Okay. Love you.’

‘Love you too.’

Helen kissed Bucky on the cheek and then left her bedroom to go to the kitchen. Once there she got out all the ingredients to make the perfect meatloaf and set them out on the countertop.

Bucky came into the kitchen five minutes later and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

‘How’s it going, babydoll?’

‘Good. I’ve just starting mixing all the ingredients.’

‘Mm. It smells delicious already.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome.’

‘Why don’t you sit down and watch TV? It’ll be a little while before it’s ready.’

‘Okay. What should I watch?’

‘Anything you want.’

‘Alright.’

After Bucky had sat down on the couch Helen continued to prep the meatloaf. Ten minutes later she put it in the oven and started peeling the potatoes to make the mash. Once they were boiling in the pot she sat down beside Bucky on the couch, kissing him gently on the cheek.

‘Hey, honey.’

‘Hello, lyubov moya.’

‘What are you watching?’

‘The news, I think.’

‘Don’t watch the news. Watch something enjoyable.’

‘I didn’t know what to put on so I just kept it on the channel that appeared when I turned on the tv.’

‘Ah, yes. Steve is rather fond of watching the news. He is such an old man sometimes.’

‘You think so?’

‘Oh, yeah. At the hospital he was grumbling like one.’

‘That’s hilarious.’

‘How much do you remember of Steve?’

‘I know that we were friends but that’s pretty much it.’

‘It’ll come to you in time.’

‘I hope so. I hate not remembering.’

‘Soon you’ll remember everything and it’ll all be okay.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Don’t you worry. Everything will be just fine.’

‘As long as I have you then I’m happy. I don’t care if I don’t remember anything else. As long as you’re by my side nothing else matters.’

‘That’s so sweet.’

‘Only for you, my love.’

  
‘But I don’t think shutting Steve out is a good idea.’

’Doll, I told you that I wasn’t ready to see him.’

’Why can’t you just let him know where you are?’

’I can’t do that.’

’Why not?’

’I’m not ready to see him. I can’t see him when I don’t remember everything yet.’

’Then just send him a message saying that you’re safe but you need some time before you’re ready to see him.’

’I can do that.’

’I’ll get you some paper and then you can write down what you want to say to him.’

’Okay.’

’Are you going to tell him that you’re with me?’

’No. I don’t want him to know where I am just yet.’

’Why not?’

’If he doesn’t know where I am then he can’t come and see me until I’m ready for him too.’

’That’s true.’

’You won’t tell him where I am, will you?’

’Not until you want me to.’

’Thanks, dorogaya.’

’You’re welcome. Are you sure you’re okay with watching the news?’

‘Yeah. I’m not really watching it anyway.’

‘Is that so?’

‘Yeah. I’m distracted by your beauty. I can’t focus on anything but you.’

‘You’re such a charmer.’

‘Is my charm working on you?’

‘A little.’

‘Oh. I suppose I’ll need to take it up a notch then.’

‘And how are you going to do that?’

‘By telling you how beautiful you are.’

‘Didn’t you just do that?’

‘Well, I’m going to do it some more.’

‘Go on then.’

‘You’re the most beautiful girl in the whole entire world. You’re not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside as well. I’ve never met anyone as kind and thoughtful as you. No one has ever treated me with as much love as you have. You’re a perfect angel and I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure that you know that.’

‘Oh my god, Bucky. That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘Have you been charmed enough yet?’

‘You’ve charmed me a little too much.’

‘I’m only trying to show you how much I love you.’

‘Well, I think you’ve shown it rather well.’

‘You think so?’

‘I know so.’

‘Words can not describe how much I love you.’

‘I think you did a pretty good job of putting it into words.’

‘It’ll never be enough.’

‘It’s enough for me.’

‘I love you more than life itself.’

‘I love you too. More than you will ever know.’

‘Will you let me show you how much I adore you?’

‘What did you have in mind?’

‘How much time do we have?’

‘The meatloaf won’t be ready for another hour.’

‘Plenty of time then.’

‘What exactly are we doing?’  
  


  
‘Making love.’

‘On the couch?’

‘Yeah. Is that a problem?’

‘No, just making sure.’

‘Okay. Now take your clothes off.’

‘Gladly.’

Helen quickly stripped out of all of her clothes, stopping when Bucky grabbed her by the waist. She was clad only in her underwear and she and she knew how much Bucky loved taking them off her himself.

‘You look so stunning. So irresistible. I can’t believe you’re mine.’

‘I’m all yours, honey. I’ve always been just yours.’

‘And I’ve always been yours.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, darling. Now lie back for me.’

Helen did so and held her breath in anticipation as Bucky reached behind her and unclasped her bra. He tossed it away and cupped her bare breasts with his hands.

‘Your skin is so soft, sweet thing.’

‘Sweet thing? You haven’t called me that in ages.’

‘I know. I just remembered how much you liked it.’

‘I love it. I like being your sweet thing.’

‘You are my sweet thing. My only. My love.’

‘Such a charmer.’

‘Only for you.’

‘I love you lots.’

‘I love you too, Solnyshko.’

Bucky took off his shirt and boxers, leaving him completely naked and Helen clad only in panties.

‘You look so irresistible like this, sweet thing.’

‘Mm. So do you.’

‘I want you. I have to have all of you.’

‘Then take all of me.’

‘I will.’ Bucky said breathlessly before taking off her underwear, leaving her completely naked.

‘Bucky, please.’

‘Don’t worry, my darling. I will be inside you soon.’

‘Hurry.’

‘Shh, kiska. Just relax for me.’

‘Okay.’

‘That’s it, zaika. Now spread your legs for me.’

Helen did so and her body tingled with pleasure as she saw Bucky’s eyes darken with want.

‘You’re so wet, doll. Is it all for me?’

‘You know it’s all for you.’

‘I’m the only one one who makes you feel like this, babydoll. Isn’t that right?’

‘Yes. You’re the only one who turns me on, the only one who makes me ache with desire. The only one who ever gets to see me like this.’

‘Oh, babydoll, you really know how to make me burn with desire.’

‘Don’t let yourself get burned.’

‘I won’t. Are you ready for me, doll? I don’t think I can wait to get inside you.’

‘I’m ready.’

‘Good. Just relax. I’m gonna makes you feel so good, love.’

‘Bucky...’

Bucky smiled heatedly at her before rolling a condom onto his hardened member. He kissed her tenderly for a few seconds before slowly pushing himself inside her.

‘Oh, lyubov moya, you feel so amazing. You’re so tight and sweet.’

‘Bucky... move, please.’

‘With pleasure, zaika.’

Bucky started moving at a comfortable pace but Helen urged him to go faster and after making sure that she was really okay with that he started thrusting into her at a brutal pace.

‘Oh, Bucky. God, honey. Don’t stop.’

‘I won’t. You feel too good to stop.’

Helen moaned and tightened her legs around Bucky’s waist. This caused Bucky to growl and to thrust into her faster. His brutal pace and his enhanced strength caused them to topple off the couch and land on the floor. Bucky snarled in frustration as the fall caused him to be separated from Helen.

‘Stop growling and get back inside me.’

Bucky kissed her hard and slammed back into her. A few minutes later they both found their release and Bucky made sure to be extra thorough when cleaning up their mess since they didn’t want any evidence that showed what they had been doing.

‘That was amazing, Bucky.’

‘It really was.’

‘I swear it gets better every time.’

‘I’m not gonna argue with you, zaika. It was fucking surreal.’

‘The meatloaf should be ready soon. Why don’t we take a shower and then get dressed?’

‘A shower together?’

‘If you can promise not to try anything.’

‘That’s cruel, kiska.’

‘We’re supposed to be getting clean, not getting even messier.’

‘Fine but I’m only agreeing because I love you so much.’

‘I know you do and we can always do things later.’

‘Mm. Sounds good.’

‘So, what do you say? Wanna join me in the shower?’

‘Of course I do. I gotta make sure my dorogaya is all nice and clean.’

‘Let’s go then.’

‘Lead the way.’

After showering Helen and Bucky got dressed and headed to the kitchen. Helen checked on the meatloaf and decided to give it another ten minutes. The potatoes were ready to be mashed however so Helen started doing so.

‘Let me do that, doll.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I want to help. Besides I’m stronger.’

‘Alright, macho man. You show off your caveman strength.’

‘Hey! I’m not a caveman.’

‘I’m just kidding, darling.’

‘You better be. I don’t want my darling love thinking I’m a caveman.’

‘Lucky for you, I don’t.’

‘Good.’

‘Get mashing those potatoes.’

‘Your wish is my command, zaika.’

Ten minutes later the mash was ready and Helen laid out the plates in preparation.

‘It smells divine, doll.’

‘Thank you.’

‘My dorogusha is an amazing cook. I’m so lucky.’

‘I hope I haven’t lost my touch.’

‘I highly doubt that you have. You’ve got a natural talent, kiska.’

‘You always know what to say to make me happy.’

‘It’s my job to make you happy.’

‘You don’t have to do anything to make me happy. Having you with me is more than enough.’

‘It’s the same for me, lyubimaya. Just being near you makes my heart burst with happiness.’

‘You’re the best. Now go sit down. Everything should be ready in about ten minutes.’

‘Okay, love. You need any help?’

‘No. You just sit and wait.’

‘Alright.’

Helen put the mash in a bowl and placed it on the table. A few minutes later she took the meatloaf out of the oven and let it cool on the countertop.

‘It looks good, dorogusha. I can’t wait to try it.’

‘I‘ll give it a couple of minutes to cool and then I’ll bring it over.’

‘Okay, zaika.’

Around three minutes later Helen brought the meatloaf over to the table and then sat down beside Bucky.

‘Bon appetit, darling.’

‘Bon appetit indeed.’

‘You want the first slice?’

‘Of course I do.’

Half an hour later they had finished eating and were now washing the dirty dishes.

‘Do you think we should leave tonight?’ Helen asked.

‘Well, it makes sense. We’re ready to go. There’s no point in delaying things.’

‘We’ll leave in a couple of hours then.’

‘Yeah. You still sure you want to do this with me?’

‘Of course I’m sure. I love you. I go anywhere that you go.’

‘Okay. I love you too.’

‘I know. We’re in this together, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘I’m never going to leave you. Not by choice anyway.’

‘I know and I’m never going to leave you.’

‘I know.’

‘You ready to do this?’

‘I am.’

‘What will you tell your friends?’

‘I’ll tell them that I’m going back home for a while. If they’re really my friends then they’ll understand.’

‘If you’re sure.’

‘I am.’

‘If we have to leave to go on the run will you still stay with me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Even if you’re never safe again?’

‘Yes. Bucky, I told you, I’m with you until the end, no matter what. I’m not leaving you ever. I’m staying by your side for as long as possible.’

‘Sometimes I can’t believe how much you love me.’

‘Right back at you.’

‘Are you ready to go?’

‘Yeah, let’s do this.’

Helen and Bucky grabbed their bags and left the apartment one last time, disappearing into the night.

A few days later they arrived in England. Helen led them to the Leaky Cauldron and from there they Apparated to Hogsmeade.

‘Oh, god. That was horrible. It was like the life was being squeezed out of me.’

‘I’m sorry, honey. I should have warned you that it would be awful.’

‘It’s okay, lyubimaya. I know you didn’t mean to cause me pain.’

‘I didn’t.’

‘I know. You’d never hurt me.’

‘And you’d never hurt me.’

‘I’d die before I hurt you.’

‘I know.’

‘You were right, babydoll. It is always snowing here.’

‘I told you.’

‘It’s beautiful here. You fit in very well.’

‘You’ve always got to turn everything into a compliment.’

‘Only when it’s about you.’

‘Do you even compliment anyone else?’

‘No.’

‘You’re ridiculous.’

‘That’s cruel, kiska.’

‘You know I love you.’

‘Then why are you calling me ridiculous?’

‘I’m not calling you ridiculous. I’m saying that it’s ridiculous how much you compliment me.’

‘I’m just telling how much I love you.’

‘I know. I like how much you love me.’

‘Then why are you complaining?’

‘I’m not.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You said it was ridiculous.’

‘Well, I take it back.’

‘Does that mean I can compliment you as much as I want?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

‘I love you so much.’

‘I love you more.’

‘Are you ready to see your new home?’

‘Of course. Lead the way, babydoll.’

‘Okay.’

An hour later they were settled in their new flat and had just finished unpacking.

‘It’s really nice here.’

‘Yeah, it is.’

‘You know what I just realised?’

‘What, Bucky?’

‘This is our first ever home together. Before we lived with Steve. This is our first home as a couple. Alone.’

‘Yeah. How do you feel about that?’

‘Really, really good.’

‘Me too.’

The two of them shared a kiss but the romantic moment was broken by the door to their flat opening and closing. Bucky was immediately on high alert and had his gun pointed in the direction of the door.

‘Helen?’

‘Helen, where are you?’

‘Bucky, put that gun down. It’s just Ron and Hermione.’

‘Who?’

‘My best friends. I told you about them before.’

‘Oh. I remember now.’

‘Put the gun down before you freak them out.’

‘Fine.’

‘Helen, are you here?’

‘We’re in the bedroom, Hermione!’

‘I wonder why.’

‘Ronald! That is completely inappropriate!’

‘Sorry, ‘Mione.’

A few seconds later Ron and Hermione appeared in the doorway and Helen broke away from Bucky’s embrace to greet them.

‘Ron! Hermione!’

‘Oh, Helen. We’ve missed you so much.’

‘I’ve missed you guys too.’

Helen embraced Ron first before doing the same to Hermione.

‘Are you going to introduce me, doll?’

‘Oh, right. Ron, Hermione, this is my fiancé Bucky Barnes. Bucky, these are my best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.’

‘Nice to meet you.’ Bucky said with a smile.

Ron didn’t return the smile though Hermione did a little.

‘Guys, what’s wrong?’ Helen asked.

‘We need to have a little talk with Bucky. Alone.’

‘No! Whatever you have to say to him, you can say in front of me.’

‘Fine. Ronald, we agreed that you’d give it.’

‘Right. Bucky, come here.’

Nervously Bucky stood up and walked over to Ron who glared at him threateningly.

‘If you ever hurt Helen in any way you’re dead. If you cause her to cry or ever cause her pain then no one will be able to find your body.’

‘I will never hurt her. I’d rather die before I ever caused her any pain. But thank you for looking out for her.’

‘I like this one.’

‘Yes. You have our full approval to be with Helen.’

‘I thought he already did.’

‘We just wanted to make sure.’

‘Fine. Are you done now?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good. You mind giving us some time alone? Bucky is still adjusting.’

‘Of course we’ll see you later.’

‘They seem nice.’ Bucky said after they left.

‘Yeah. They’re the best. The best friends in the world.’


	38. Plans for the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After settling into their new home Helen and Bucky discuss plans for their future.

* * *

  
The next day Helen and Bucky woke up peacefully in each other’s arms. 

‘Good morning, lyubov moya.’

‘Good morning, honey.’

‘It feels so good to be waking up next to you like this, Solnyshko.’

‘I know. It feels like a dream.’

‘But it’s not.’

‘I know. That’s what makes it so amazing.’

‘I hope we can wake up like this every morning.’

‘Me too, dorogusha.’

‘I love you so much, Bucky. I want you to know that no matter what happens I’ll stay by your side. It’s where I belong.’

‘I love you too, kiska. And I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you’re happy and loved.’

‘You always make me feel happy and loved.’

‘I love you. I always have. Even when I had no memory of who I was I still loved you. I never forgot you. You always stayed with me no matter how many times they wiped me.’

‘And I never stopped loving you. Even when I thought you were dead.’

‘I know. You told me, remember?’

‘Yeah, I did. And you still stayed with me even though as far as you knew I was in love with someone else.’

‘I didn’t care about that. As long as you loved me then I was happy.’

‘It’s funny how I fell in love with you all over again. I didn’t even realise it was you and yet I somehow fell in love with you anyway.’

‘And I fell in love with you even though I was a brainwashed assassin who had literally no memories.’

‘I love you even as the Winter Soldier. I don’t care what you did when you were forced to work for HYDRA. It wasn’t you anyway. You wouldn’t have done all of those things if they hadn’t brainwashed you first.’

‘You are the kindest and most selfless person I’ve ever met. Most people would run a mile when they found out that I was an assassin. But you, you stayed and I’m so grateful that you did.’

‘I’ll always stay with you.’

‘Even if you find out about all the things I’ve done?’

‘Yes. You are not a bad person, Bucky. You are a very good person who bad things have happened to.’

‘You are an angel. You are my saving grace. Your love brought me back and I’m so grateful that I found you again. Without you I’d still be killing people for them.’

‘You would have broken free anyway, Bucky. You are a strong person. You wouldn’t have let them control you forever.’

‘I didn’t have a choice.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘When I first got kidnapped by HYDRA after I fell from the train I resisted them. I wouldn’t cooperate with them. I refused to do their wicked deeds for them. I told them that I’d rather die than do their bidding. So they had to resort to other means to get me to do it.’

‘Like what?’

‘They used the chair to wipe all my memories and then they’d use these words.’

‘What words?’

‘A series of random words in Russian.’

‘What happened once they used them?’

‘I’d become the Winter Soldier. I’d do anything they asked me to do.’

‘What words are they?’

‘I don’t want to say them. It brings- it brings back bad memories.’

‘I understand, honey. Would you be okay with writing them down?’

‘Yeah. Someone needs to know the words and I trust you more than anyone or anything in this world.’

‘You don’t have to write them down now.’

‘Okay.’

‘Can the words be removed?’

‘I think so. No one has ever tried though.’

‘How exactly did they put them in?’

‘They’d make me sit in the chair and then they’d shock me with electricity until I forgot everything. Then they’d use the words.’

‘Mm. It sounds like something Hermione might be familiar with. I’ll ask her later.’

‘Do you think she’ll help?’

‘Of course she will. She knows how happy you make me so she’s willing to do anything to make sure that we can stay together.’

‘Do you think I’ll ever be free of them?’

‘Yes. Good always triumphs over evil after all.’

‘I just want to be free so I can be with you.’

‘I don’t care if you can’t get rid of these trigger words. I’ll stay with you regardless. I love you. I’m not leaving you over something like that.’

‘If I don’t get rid of them then anyone who knows the words can trigger me and send me back to being the Winter Soldier. I can’t let that happen.’

‘Who knows the words?’

‘My handler had a little red notebook that he read them from. He was really the only one who used them on me. I don’t know who else knows.’

‘We have to get that book then.’

‘Easier said than done. We have no idea where it is.’

‘Then we won’t stop until we find it.’

‘I can’t let you go into HYDRA territory. I won’t let them hurt you.’

‘I’ll be fine, Bucky.’

‘I mean it, Helen. I can’t lose you, especially not to them.’

‘We’re in this together, remember? Wherever you go I go. Even if it means storming HYDRA bases.’

‘Just be careful. I’m not losing you again.’

‘You won’t. We’re together until the end this time.’

‘Forever?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’ll do everything I can to make sure that we have forever.’

‘We will, Bucky. The universe reunited us and it won’t separate us for very long, not again.’

‘It did, didn’t it?’

‘Yeah, it did. The universe wants us to be together and no one is going to stop us this time. Not HYDRA, not anyone.’

‘I love you more than life itself.’

‘Right back at you. We’ll get through this, Bucky.’

‘I know.’

‘We’ll get those trigger words out of your head.’

‘I know. But right now I just want to focus on rebuilding my life with you.’

‘Sounds like a plan.’

‘We should discuss the future.’

‘Okay. What did you have in mind?’

‘As much as I want to have children with you I don’t think that we should have them while HYDRA is still out there and these words are still inside of me.’

‘I understand. You don’t want to put them in danger.’

‘I don’t think I could take it if somebody hurt our children because of me. I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.’

‘It’s okay, Bucky. We won’t have children until you’re ready.’

‘I want to have children with you. It kills me that we have to wait.’

‘But it would hurt more if we had them now and something happened to them. I get it. It’s not exactly safe for us to be having children now anyway. We are technically on the run. That’s no life for a child.’

‘I hate this. We should be planning the wedding right now and talking about baby names. We shouldn’t be putting everything on hold because of _them_.’

‘Now is not the time to be doing all of that. You’re still recovering, Bucky. We shouldn’t do anything until you’re better.’

‘I’m sorry that I’m doing this to you.’

‘Hey, none of that. Remember what I told you? I’d wait for you forever.’

‘I love you so much.’

‘I love you too.’

‘You really don’t mind waiting?’

‘Yes. Getting married and having kids isn’t worth it if you’re not okay with it all. You need to recover from your time as the Winter Soldier. They forced you to do horrible things, Bucky. They tortured you and held you against your will. You need to take some time to get over all of that.’

‘You are amazing. Thank you for supporting me through all of this.’

‘Don’t thank me, Bucky. You’re the love of my life. I’d do anything for you.’

‘And I’d do anything for you.’

‘What I want you to do is take it easy. Don’t force yourself to remember. Just take your time. I don’t want you straining yourself.’

‘Okay, dorogusha.’

‘You want some breakfast in bed?’

‘You don’t have to spoil me, zaika.’

‘I know but I want to. You’ve been through a lot. You deserve to be spoiled by the woman you love.’

‘Fine but I get to make you breakfast in bed tomorrow.’

‘Deal. What do you want?’

‘Some eggs and bacon.’

‘With a side of plums?’

‘If we have any.’

‘We do.’

‘Then give me a little bowl.’

‘Your wish is my command.’

‘That’s my line.’

‘Not anymore.’

‘We can share it then.’

‘Okay.’

‘Helen?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Thank you for staying with me throughout all of this.’

‘I told you, you don’t have to thank me. I love you. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than by your side.’

‘Still, I’m grateful. It would have been easier to just stay where you were.’

‘No, it wouldn’t have. It would have killed me to leave you behind.’

‘I love you. God, I love you so much.’

‘I love you too. Now, don’t move. I’ll get your breakfast ready.’

‘Okay, lyubimaya.’

Helen left their bedroom and headed into the kitchen. She cracked the eggs into the frying pan and started to prepare the bacon. Once the eggs were ready she plated them up and put the bacon in the pan.

A few minutes later the bacon was ready and she placed it next to the eggs. With that ready she got the plums out of the fridge and placed them in a bowl. She then headed to the bedroom with the plate and bowl in hand.

‘Hey, lyubov moya.’

‘Hey, honey. You ready for your breakfast in bed?’

‘Of course.’

‘Here you go, my love. A breakfast fit for a king.’

‘Thank you, Solnyshko. It looks delicious.’

‘Eat up, darling.’

After Bucky had finished his breakfast Helen washed the dishes and then joined Bucky back in bed.

‘Did you enjoy your breakfast?’

‘I did. You’re an amazing cook, kiska.’

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’

‘I’m glad you’re here with me.’

‘Me too.’

‘We will get married one day, I promise.’

‘I know.’

‘I’m sorry I’m making you wait.’

‘No, don’t apologise. Don’t ever apologise for not being ready. You’ve been through a lot, Bucky. You need to take time to recover before we do anything big like getting married.’

‘But I want to marry you. I’ve always wanted to marry you.’

‘I know you do but now is not the time.’

‘I don’t want to wait.’

‘I know but we have to.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you’re not ready. You’ve just broken free of HYDRA. You need to take the time to become your own person again before doing anything else.’

‘But what if I never break free from HYDRA? What if I never get rid of the words?’

‘You will.’

‘I don’t want to wait years before we get married.’

‘I know but it will all be worth it in the end.’

‘It will be.’

‘No matter how long it takes us, our wedding will be perfect.’

‘It will. We’ll spare no expense. It’ll be the best wedding ever. No other wedding will compare to it.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I promise, babydoll. Whatever you want you will get.’

‘The same goes for you.’

‘All I want is you.’

‘You have me. You’ll always have me.’

‘Then I have everything I need.’

‘You’re sweet.’

‘Only for you, lyubimaya.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, zvezda moya.’

‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course, doll. You can ask mr anything.’

‘How many kids do you want?’

‘I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t have kids right now.’

‘I know. I’m just wondering how many you want.’

‘I want a big family.’

‘How big?’

‘I want five or six kids.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. I want lots of babies with you. Is that not okay?’

‘No, I like it. Three boys and three girls.’

‘No, not three girls.’

‘Why not?’

‘I can’t protect three girls from boys.’

‘You’re the Winter Soldier. You can easily fend off teenage boys.’

‘My baby girls will never date.’

‘Bucky, that’s not fair.’

‘Yes, it is. I’m not having my little angels tainted by boys.’

‘You won’t have a choice.’

‘If they love me then they’ll have me as the only man in their life.’

‘We’ll deal with that when we come to it.’

‘Okay.’

‘Any names in mind?’

‘Lily. Winnifred. Arthur.’

‘I like them.’

‘What are your ideas?’

‘James. Lily. That’s all I ever thought about really.’

‘So we agree on Lily.’

‘Yes and James is non negotiable.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s my dad’s name, remember?’

‘Oh, yeah. How could I forget?’

‘You can be forgiven for forgetting right now.’

‘Still, I shouldn’t have forgotten that.’

‘Bucky, don’t beat yourself up about it. It was one little error. It doesn’t matter.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re too good to me.’

‘I’m not. I’m just showing you how much I love you.’

‘You can show me in other ways.’

‘Other ways?’

‘Yes, other ways.’

‘Care to elaborate?’

‘You know what I want, zaika.’

‘Do I?’

‘Yes.’ Bucky hissed before kissing her neck.

‘Oh, that’s what you want.’

‘Yes, that’s what I want. You gonna let me make you feel good?’

‘Yes. Make love to me, Bucky.’

Bucky rolled himself on top of her and kissed her hard.

‘I thought you’d never ask, lyubov moya.’

After making love Helen addressed the elephant in the room.

’When are you going to call Steve?’ She asked.

Bucky frowned. ‘Why do I have to call him? I already left him a note. He knows that I’m safe.’

’That’s not enough, Bucky. Steve’s your best friend. He deserves more than a note.’

’I can’t call him, solnyshko.’

’Why not?’

’I’m not ready.’

’You don’t have to meet up with him. All you have to do is call him and tell him that you’re doing well.’

’I don’t know if I can.’

’Why not?’

’Because I’m not the Bucky that he remembers. I’ve changed too much.’

’Steve doesn’t care about that. He’s changed too, you know.’

’Not as much as I have. He’s still the same self sacrificing punk that he’s always been. And I’ve done things that I’m ashamed of. He’s a hero and I’ve been turned into a villain.’

’None of that was your fault, Bucky. It was all HYDRA’s doing. They brainwashed you. You would never have done those things if you hadn’t been forced to.’  
  


‘I still did it.’

’What does this have to do with Steve?’

’Steve always looked up to me. He admired me. I was his hero. Now I’m nothing like that. I’m just a brainwashed assassin. I’m not his Bucky anymore.’

’You are not just a brainwashed assassin. You are so much more than that. And you’re still the same Bucky that you always were.’

’I’m not.’

’You are. HYDRA didn’t take away who you are. They just made you forget. You’re still the same brave selfless loving man you always were. HYDRA never took that away. You’re still Steve’s Bucky. You’re still my Bucky.’

’Do you think Steve will feel the same way as you?’

’I know he does. Call him and you’ll see.’

’I don’t know if I’m ready.’

’How about I call him and if you feel ready then you can talk to him?’

’I can do that.’

’Okay. Pass me my phone, honey.’

’Here you go, lyubov moya.’

’Thanks, honey.’

’You’re welcome.’

Helen gave Bucky a loving smile before scrolling through her contacts and selecting Steve’s number. It rang a couple of times before it connected and she heard Steve’s voice.

’Helen?’

’Hey, Steve. How are you?’

’I’m fine. Tony and Sam are picking me up later. I’m getting discharged from the hospital today.’

’That’s great, Steve.’

’Are you doing okay, Helen?’

’I’m fine, Steve.’

’Are you in the apartment?’

’No.’

’Are you taking a walk?’

’Steve, there’s something I have to tell you.’

’What is it?’

’I, uh, I’ve decided to go home for a bit.’

’What do you mean?’

’I’ve gone back to the wizarding world for a bit.’

’Why? What’s happened?’

’I just need to get away for a while. All this stuff with Bucky has been too stressful and I need a break.’

’Why do you need to leave to do that?’

’I can’t tell you.’

’Why not?’

’It’s not my secret to tell.’

’Bucky’s there with you, isn’t he?’

’I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, Steve.’

’Helen...’

’Steve, don’t do this to me.’

’Why are you lying?’

’I’m not lying.’

’Give it to me.’ Bucky whispered.

’Are you sure?’ Helen whispered back.

’Yes. I can’t have you lying for me. It’s not right.’

’Okay.’

Bucky took the phone from Helen and took a deep breath before answering. ‘Hey, Stevie.’

’Bucky? Is it really you?’

’Yeah, punk, it’s me.’

’How are you?’

’I’m doing okay. Did you get my note?’

’What note?’

’I left you a note in your apartment.’

’I haven’t been home yet, Buck.’

‘I’m so sorry, Stevie.’

’Why are you sorry, Buck?’

’I’m sorry for nearly killing you.’

’Don’t worry about that, jerk. I know that you wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for HYDRA.’

’I’m still sorry.’

’I know. Are you sure you’re doing okay?’

’Yeah. I’ve got Helen with me.’

’Can I come and see you?’

’I need a little more time, punk.’

’Okay.’

’I gotta go, Stevie. I’ll be in touch.’

’Bye, Buck.’

’Bye, punk.’

’I’m so proud of you.’ Helen said after he hung up.

‘I should have said more.’

’I think you said enough for now. You can always call him back later.’

’I guess so.’

’Don’t beat yourself up about it, Bucky. It’ll take time before all your memories come back.’

’I just hope that I can get back all my memories of Steve.’

’You will.’

’What if I don’t?’

’It won’t matter to Steve. He’ll just be happy to have you back.’

’You think so?’

’I know so.’

’I don’t know what I’d do without you, doll. You always know what to say.’

’You’ll never have to worry about that. I’ll never leave you, Bucky Barnes. You are my soulmate.’

‘I love you so much, Solnyshko.’

‘I love you too, Bucky. I won’t ever stop loving you.’

‘And I won’t ever stop loving you.’


	39. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen and Bucky continue to settle into their new life together.

* * *

A few days later Helen and Bucky were getting used to living together in Hogsmeade. Bucky got to know Ron and Hermione as well as the rest of the Weasley family plus Teddy and Luna. He was also still in contact with Steve. The two of them had been exchanging text messages and agreed to do weekly phone calls. They were slowly rebuilding their friendship and Helen was thrilled for them. It was good to see the two of them on speaking terms again. They had such a pure and loving friendship and she had missed seeing it. Things truly seemed to be back on track.

Bucky was lying in bed when Helen entered their room. She had just come out of the shower and she saw Bucky’s eyes darken as he took in her towel clad form.

’Bozhe moy kiska, you’re killing me here.’

’I just came out the shower.’

’Oh I can see that, zaika.’ He purred.

’Why are you being weird?’

’Weird? I’m trying to seduce you here.’

’Oh. Why didn’t you say so?’

’Stop teasing me. I don’t like it.’

’Don’t you pout at me, Bucky Barnes.’

’Yeah, yeah. Enough talking. Let’s get naked.’

’You’re already naked.’

’Then you get naked.’

’You’re insatiable.’

’Just drop the towel.’

’Your wish is my command.’

As soon as she dropped the towel Bucky let out a low growl and shot up off the bed and stalked over to her. Helen let out a little giggle as Bucky picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Once he reached the bed he gently placed her on it and kissed her hard as his hands wandered down to her sex. They both let out a groan of pleasure as Bucky entered her gently. Soon they lost themselves in the pleasure of being together like this.

Meanwhile Steve and Sam were meeting up with Fury.

‘Why exactly are we meeting him here?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well, the guy’s got a sense of humour. Meeting at his own gravestone.’

‘I wouldn’t call it that.’

Fury appeared a few seconds later wearing sunglasses and a hoodie and they began discussing HYDRA.

‘So, you’ve experienced this sort of thing before?’ Fury asked Steve.

‘You get used to it.’

‘We’ve been data-mining HYDRA’s files. Looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship. I’m headed to Europe tonight, wanted to ask if you’d come.’

‘There’s something I gotta do first.’

‘How about you, Wilson? Could use a man with your abilities.’

‘I’m more of a soldier than a spy.’

‘Alright then.’

Steve and Sam both shook Fury’s hand.

‘Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me right here.’

Natasha came up to them after Fury had walked away.

‘You should be honoured, that’s about as close as he gets to saying thank you.’ She said.

‘Not going with him?’

‘No.’

‘Not staying here?’

‘I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one.’

‘That might take a while.’

‘I’m counting on it. By the way, that thing you asked for, I called in a few favours from Kiev.’ Natasha said before handing Steve a file.

‘Thanks, Nat.’

‘No problem.’

Natasha kissed his cheek before going up to Sam.

‘Bye, Wilson.’

‘See you.’

Natasha then did something that shocked both Sam and Steve. She gently kissed Sam on the lips. The dark skinned man was so shocked that he didn’t have time to kiss back but it seemed that Natasha didn’t mind.

‘Be careful, Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread.’ The redhead said before walking away.

After she was out of sight Steve opened the file and grimaced when he read it. He couldn’t believe what HYDRA had done to Bucky.

‘You’re going to see him, aren’t you?’ Sam asked.

‘You don’t have to come with me.’

‘I know. When are we going?’

‘Thanks, buddy.’

‘I just want you to know that I’m only doing this for you and to see Helen.’

‘I know.’

‘I’m not doing this for him. I hate that guy.’

‘I wouldn’t expect you to. But you’ve gotta let your grudge go. He wasn’t in his right mind when he attacked you.’

‘He messed with my wings, man. I can’t let that go.’

’If you say so.’

‘We starting right away?’

‘There’s no point in not starting now, right?’

‘No.’

‘We’ll start tomorrow.’

‘Did Helen tell you where they are?’

‘Not exactly but I know where to start.’  
  


‘Where?’

’London.’

’Is Bucky ready to see you yet?’

’I thought that I’d surprise him.’

’I hope that doesn’t backfire on you.’

’It won’t.’

’If you’re sure.’

’I am.’

Back at Hogsmeade Helen and Bucky were enjoying a date at the Three Broomsticks. Bucky had been fascinated by the butter beer and had already drank three glasses and was halfway through a fourth.

‘You like it then?’ Helen asked with a grin.

‘Yeah. It’s amazing.’

‘I thought you might like it.’

‘I don’t like it, doll. I love it.’

‘You think you’ll like living here then?’

‘I’m already liking it, zaika.’

‘I’m glad.’

‘I think I’d like to live somewhere in the countryside though.’

‘Why?’

‘I’d like it if our kids could have a lot of outdoor space. Maybe a forest to explore or a really big garden. And I’d like the peace that the countryside offers. No one would know that you’re there. I’d finally feel at ease.’

‘I like that idea.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. I’d like the peace as well.’

‘Maybe I could build us a house. A nice little cottage or something.’

‘I’d really like that.’

‘Then I’ll build you one, I promise.’

‘You never break them.’

‘No, I guess I haven’t.’

‘You never have.’

‘I hope I never break one.’

‘You won’t.’

‘I love how much faith you have in me.’

‘You’re the love of my life. Of course I believe in you.’

‘I like that. I really, really like that.’

‘Like what?’

‘Being the love of your life.’

‘Well, you are.’

‘And you are mine.’

‘I love you. I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, kiska. I love you more than life itself.’

‘So do I. You are my entire world.’

‘And you are my whole world. You are my reason for living.’

‘You’re so sweet.’

‘Only for you, my darling.’

‘I know.’

‘So, do they sell food here?’

‘Yeah. They sell stuff like fish and chips and steak pie.’

‘I’d like to try the steak pie.’

‘Okay. I’ll go tell Madam Rosmerta.’

A few minutes later Helen came back.

‘What did you order?’

‘The fish and chips.’

‘Huh. Maybe I’ll try a bit of yours.’

‘You’re more than welcome to.’

‘Thanks, zaika.’

‘Of course. Anything for you.’

‘You want some of my steak pie?’

‘No, I’m fine.’

‘Okay.’

Twenty minutes later Madam Rosmerta came out with their food and they both tucked in.

‘God, doll. This is so good. I can’t believe I’ve never had it before.’

‘I knew you’d like it.’

‘You know me so well.’

‘I guess I do.’

‘Can I try a bit of yours?’

‘Of course, darling.’

Bucky smiled at her before leaning over and putting some of her fish on his fork.

‘It’s good, zaika.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. Not as good as mine of course.’

‘You’re terrible.’

‘You love me.’

‘I do. I really do.’

‘I love you too, kiska. I love you so very much.’

‘I know.’

‘What do you want to do after this?’

‘I’d like it if we could just relax together.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. I want to spend the rest of the day cuddling with you.’

‘Now, that is the best idea I’ve heard in a while.’

‘You really want to?’

‘Doll, that’s a stupid question. Of course I want to cuddle with you.’

‘We’ll head home after we finish eating then.’

‘Sounds like a plan.’

A few minutes later they had finished eating and headed home after paying.

‘Look, it’s snowing.’

‘It is, Solnyshko.’

‘Do you remember that time we danced together in the street when it was snowing?’

‘Of course I do, babydoll. It’s one of my favourite memories of you and me.’

‘You wanna recreate that moment?’

‘Of course.’

‘Let’s do it then.’

‘May I have this dance, my beautiful princess?’

‘You may, my handsome prince.’

Helen took Bucky’s outstretched hand and let him pull her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he placed his around her waist. They gently started swaying and Helen smiled before resting her head on Bucky’s chest. She had everything she ever wanted right here with her. Bucky was here and they were so happy together.

Bucky, on the other hand, was marvelling at how perfect this was. Ever since he had become the Winter Soldier he had let go of his dreams of having a life filled with love and happiness. Someone like him didn’t deserve a perfect life like that. And yet here he was dancing in the snow with the love of his life without a care on the world.

After they had finished dancing they went home and snuggled together under the covers. And that was just as magical as dancing in the snow was.


	40. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen and Bucky continue to rebuild their relationship and spend a romantic evening together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Helen and Bucky dance to is called ‘Cheek to Cheek.’ by Fred Astaire.
> 
> This is the final chapter and I hope you’ve all enjoyed the story. Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and bookmarked. I’m very grateful.
> 
> Ps it’s my birthday today so it’s a double celebration:)

* * *

The next few days seemed to go by quick. Helen and Bucky were in a little world of their own. They had completely forgot that there was a world outside of their little flat. They were completely lost in each other that it was a shock when Helen’s phone buzzed with a message.

They were making out on the couch when it happened and Helen jumped in shock, causing Bucky to go on high alert.

‘Relax, honey. It’s just my phone.’

‘I thought you told Ron and Hermione not to bother us for the next few days.’ Bucky grumbled.

‘Maybe it’s not them.’

‘Well, who else would be messaging you?’

‘It could be Sam.’

‘I hate that guy.’

‘Or Natasha.’

‘She’s smart. She would know not to disturb you.’

‘It could also be Steve.’

‘You know, even though I remember that the guy is my best friend, I’m really starting to hate him.’

‘He hasn’t done anything wrong, Bucky.’

‘He’s disturbing our quality time together.’

‘He doesn’t know that.’

‘Oh, right. I still blame him for disturbing us though.’

Helen rolled her eyes fondly at him before grabbing her phone from the coffee table and read the message.

‘It is from Steve.’

‘I hate him so much.’

‘No, you don’t.’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘Whatever you say, Buck.’

‘What does he want anyway?’

‘He’s just asking how I am.’

‘And that couldn’t have waited?’

‘He’s just being a good friend.’

‘I don’t see how bombarding you with messages is him being a good friend.’

‘It’s Steve’s way of showing he cares.’

‘He’s a punk.’

‘You remembered.’

‘Remembered what?’

‘You called Steve a punk.’

‘So?’

‘That’s what you used to call him. You would call him that whenever you thought he was being stupid.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I guess I remember more than I think.’

‘I guess you do.’

‘Steve would be thrilled knowing that you remembered that, you know?’

‘He would?’

‘Yeah. It would mean a lot to him to know that you remember one of the nicknames you had for him.’

‘I’ll message him later.’

  
‘Okay, honey.’

‘Now message him back so we can get back to making out.’

Helen laughed. ‘Whatever you say, love.’

‘Come _on_ , babydoll. Get rid of him.’

‘He’s not even here.’

‘Exactly! He’s not even here and he’s still ruining things.’

‘That’s a little harsh, honey.’

‘Just hurry up and message him. He might think about coming after you if you don’t reply.’

‘Yeah, that sounds like him. Give me a second and I’ll be right with you, honey.’

‘You better be.’

Helen chuckled before turning back to her phone. She slowly typed out a message and waited for Steve’s response.

‘I’m fine, Steve. How are you?’

Steve replied a few seconds later with ‘I’m okay. I miss you and Bucky though.’

‘We miss you too.’

‘Will you come and visit soon?’

‘Of course.’

‘Can’t wait :)’

‘Are you done yet?’ Bucky asked from his position on the couch.

‘Yes.’

‘Then come over here.’

Helen’s phone buzzed with another message which caused Bucky to groan in frustration.

‘Damn all these people to hell!’

‘Don’t be so dramatic, Bucky.’

‘I can’t help it. These stupid people keep interrupting our time together!’

‘Relax, honey. I’ll be done in second.’

‘You said that the last time.’ Bucky whined.

‘I mean it this time.’

‘Okay. I believe you.’

‘Thanks, honey.’

‘Who’s the message from?’

‘Sam.’

‘That guy again.’

‘What’s wrong with him?’

‘I don’t know. I just hate him.’

‘He’s not a bad guy, Bucky.’

‘I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. I’m saying that he’s really annoying.’

‘You don’t even know him. You’ve barely spent any time with him.’

‘And he still managed to irritate me in that short window which proves that he’s annoying.’

‘The only person he annoys is you.’

‘That doesn’t mean he’s not annoying.’

‘Sam is not annoying, Bucky.’

‘Yes, he is.’

‘I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.’

‘I guess so. What does birdbrain want anyway?’

’He’s just asking how I am.’

‘See, he’s annoying.’

‘How does that make him annoying?’

‘He’s asking stupid questions.’

’Asking how I am is not a stupid question.’

’Yes, it is. Steve just asked you that and he probably told the stupid idiot. Hence it’s a stupid question because he already knows the answer.’

’Whatever you say, Buck.’

‘Tell him to buzz off so we can go back to making out.’

‘I’m not going to tell my friend to buzz off.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s rude and his feelings could get hurt.’

‘Who cares?’

‘I do.’

‘Fine. Just tell him you’ll talk to him later.’

‘Okay.’

‘Now turn off your phone.’

‘Why?’

‘So no one else can interrupt us.’

‘Fine.’

Bucky grinned at her after she turned off her phone and held his arms out. She giggled before running into his arms and letting him embrace her. He kissed her hard and they continued their make out session. It led to other things.

  
A week later Helen and Bucky were continuing to rebuild their relationship. They had been on many dates and were just enjoying spending time together. After being apart for so long it was nice to just be with each other, whether it be relaxing on the couch or cooking a meal together. It didn’t matter what they did, as long as they did it together.

Today though Bucky had a surprise for Helen. She had been so supportive of him lately that he thought it was high time he did something nice for her. And he knew the perfect way to make her happy.

So while Helen was out having lunch with Hermione, Ginny and Luna he put his plan into motion. After living here for a couple of weeks he knew the place inside out so he was able to find the florist with relative ease. He left a few minutes later with a bouquet of forget me nots and lilies of the valley.

Ten minutes later he entered their small apartment and placed the flowers on the table for the time being. He then got changed into a button down shirt and some black slacks. The outfit resembled something he would have worn back in the 40s, which was exactly the look he was going for. He had Hermione convince Helen to wear a pink dress that looked like it came straight out of the 40s as well. This was all part of his plan. His plan to recreate something they did back in the 40s.

He had bought an old record player and had gotten the track to their favourite song to dance to, courtesy of Hermione’s great grandmother’s record collection which had been passed down to Hermione’s mother.

He poured out two glasses of red wine and placed two treacle tarts onto two separate plates. According to Hermione they were Helen’s favourite dessert so he was sure that she’d like them.

Everything was ready and all Bucky had to do was wait for Helen to walk through the door.

A few minutes later the door opened and Bucky picked up the bouquet off the table and hid them behind his back.

‘Bucky?’

‘In here, doll.’

Bucky smiled when Helen entered the living room. She looked so beautiful. He couldn’t believe that she was his, that she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with him.

‘Bucky? What is all this?’

‘I wanted to do something nice for you.’

‘You didn’t have to do all this.’

‘Yes, I do. You’ve been so supportive and understanding. It’s high time that I treat you like the special lady you are.’

‘Oh, Bucky...’

Bucky brought the bouquet from behind his back and held it out to her.

‘For you, my love.’

Helen took them with a smile.

‘Oh, Bucky. They’re beautiful.’

‘Just like you, lyubimaya.’

‘Such a charmer.’

‘Only for you, zaika.’

‘So, what are you doing to make me feel special?’

‘I got you your favourite dessert.’

‘Treacle tart?’

‘Yes.’

‘How did you know?’

‘I asked Hermione.’

‘I should have known that she’d be in on this.’

‘Do you like your flowers, kiska?’

‘Yes. They’re my favourites.’

‘Mine too.’

‘Is there a reason why we’re dressed like we’re back in the 40s?’

‘We’re going to slow dance, Solnyshko.’

‘And we need a dress code for that?’

‘Yes.’

‘Care to elaborate on that?’

‘I’m taking you back to our first date.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. We’re going to recreate our first date.’

‘Why?’

‘To remind us of the good times we had and the many more we’ll have in the future.’

‘Sounds like a plan.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. Let’s do it.’

‘Okay. Shall we eat?’

‘Of course.’

Bucky pulled out a chair for Helen and she sat down with a grateful smile. Bucky kissed her forehead before sitting down in the chair opposite her.

‘This is really good, lyubov. I can tell why it’s your favourite.’

‘It is so good.’

‘As good as apple pie?’

‘That’s a hard one.’

‘Mm. What about pumpkin pie?’

‘Bucky, don’t do this to me. You know how much I like pumpkin pie.’

‘I know. But you like this better, right?’

‘Just a little.’

‘Well, it is your favourite dessert.’

‘I guess.’

‘Are you enjoying the wine?’

‘I am but I remember that we had coke on our first date.’

‘Yeah, well, wine is more romantic.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do.’

‘Alright, I believe you.’

‘That’s good to know.’

‘I’ll always believe you, Bucky, no matter what.’

‘God, I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

‘Shall we dance now?’

‘Yes, please.’

Bucky stood up and moved to stand beside Helen’s chair. Holding out his hand he asked, ‘May I have this dance?’

‘You may.’ Helen said, standing up and taking his hand.

Bucky led her to the middle of the room and held her close for a moment.

‘We don’t have any music.’

‘Just give me a second, babydoll.’

Bucky kissed Helen on the forehead before letting her go and walking over to the record player. He smiled before turning it on.

‘Oh, my god. It’s our song.’

‘It is. You wanna dance to it?’

‘Of course I do.’

‘Heaven, I’m in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. And I seem to find the happiness I seek. When we’re out together dancing, cheek to cheek.’

Bucky gathered Helen close and together they swayed to the music.

‘I love you so much, solnyshko moye.’

‘I love you too, Bucky.’

‘I swear to you now, lyubimaya, I will never let you go. No matter what happens I am not giving you up. You’re my soulmate and I can’t live without you.’

‘You’re my soulmate too and I don’t ever want to be apart from you.’

‘I’ll make sure that we never have to be.’

‘Heaven, I’m in heaven. And the cares that hang around me through the week. Seem to vanish like a gambler’s lucky streak. When we’re out together dancing, cheek to cheek.’

‘I’ve missed dancing to this song.’

‘Me too. I’ve missed you more though.’

‘Same here.’

‘Oh! I love to climb a mountain.’ Bucky sang along.

‘And to reach the highest peak.’ Helen sang back.

‘But it doesn’t thrill me half as much. As dancing cheek to cheek.’ They sang together.

Bucky leaned down and kissed Helen gently. She returned it and they kissed each other tenderly for a few minutes.

‘I love you more than anything in this world, zvezda moya.’

‘I love you too, honey. So, so much.’

‘Dance with me. I want my arm about you. The charm about you. Will carry me through to heaven.’ Bucky softly crooned.

‘That’s so sweet.’

‘Every word of this song is true. I feel all of those things when I’m with you.’

‘I know. I feel the same way.’

‘You are my everything, my whole world.’

‘And you are mine.’

Even after the song ended the two of them continued to slow dance together. Because as the song said they were in heaven and there was no place they’d rather be than in each other’s arms. They were so happy when they were together and all their troubles faded when they were cosied up in each other’s arms. They knew that there were going to be some difficult obstacles for them to overcome in the future but as long as they had each other they could do anything.


End file.
